BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Dec 23 - 10:53 AM

Touch me! Thinks the bat, in the belfry...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Dec 23 - 07:05 AM

The whiskey balls are gone and the apple bread is going fast but the fruitcake is untouched.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 21 Dec 23 - 05:06 AM

sandra had been wondering when the crumpets would arrive & shared some with the wombat, tho the wombat, being a Giant Wombat, had a larger share.

Both thanked the kind old lady & the African man.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 23 - 03:27 PM

Over in the corner of the Song Circle, Amos has finished tuning and breaks into a plaintiff Christmas Ballad. At least, it might be Amos singing or he might just be lipsynching this.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Dec 23 - 03:13 PM

Whee! swoops the bat, down upon the proffered toes. One wingtip flicks a heavily-buttered crumpet within reach, as the glass that had been placed upon empty-seeming barstool, now refilled, recharged, and restrawed, appears to waft itself doen to floor level.

This calls for a different approach! All that whipped cream gets slurped up so the crumpet can be dipped in the coffee... pretty rainbows of butter creep across the surface. It takes three and a half crumpets to get to the bottom of the whiskey.

Yo, barkeep! What preserves have we? Damson plum, sour cherry?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Dec 23 - 10:59 AM

An old lady arrives, dragging a heavy sack. She asks, "Does anybody want all these crumpets? I don't eat them any more!"
An African man waves to the Bat, and takes off his sandals. "Want a bit of a warm-up mate?"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 23 - 08:55 PM

Over in the corner in the circle the ghost of Amos puts on his Tilley hat and picks up his guitar.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Dec 23 - 07:59 PM

The bat hangs from the corner of the bar, upside down, clutching a lovely Irish coffee (rightside up), and placing the bendy straw carefully into a new whipped cream spot for each sip.

Having trouble which of Niven's bartenders waxed rhapsodic about drinking while *hot,* it nonetheless appreciates the advice, and the drink.

Spaw's ghost, on the nearest barstool, farts, and everyone in earshot turns and looks at the bat, who didn't hear the bass tones anyway, and doesn't notice. It keeps working on its Irish coffee, until (w)assailed by the non-auditory aspects of the atmosphere, whereupon it tosses off the last of its coffee, puts the glass on the nearest barstool, and flutters, rather half-hazardly, to the other end of the bar. Dig them rechargeable glasses!

Well, that barstool *looked* empty... but therein may lie the other half of the hazard...?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Dec 23 - 06:11 AM

Severn, please post the frequency of the radio station you DJ'd at.
When its sliced thin enough Auroch is as good as Pisstrami.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Severn
Date: 18 Dec 23 - 01:43 AM

Severn waves hello to Les, the Lawn Moor, who not acts as caretaker and to DemiModo up in the bell tower. He checks his mailbox and finds a Christmas postcard from Defrosty The Retired Snowman who has happily settled down ino Antarctica with his Rose of Snowman's Land.

He sits down at the bar, orders a Zevia Ginger Ale from the alligator and asks if Mmario'stock of meat has been exhausted. Finding out that it hasn't, He orders an Auroch-On-Roll....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 23 - 08:44 PM

Parental squids (anyone who wishes to do so can check who's the mommy and who's the daddy) stop the jello fight and what passes for peace again reigns.

He goes to the bar and orders a simple Hákarl Cocktail.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Dec 23 - 10:48 AM

The gnome pours the remainder of his gargle blaster into the pit and an amazing and refreshing transmogrification begins

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 23 - 10:35 AM

Oh dear, he thinks. It appears that some of the squidlets have gotten into the jello pit and have started a jello-flinging fight.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Dec 23 - 05:16 PM

Tranya! croaks the bat, hoarsely. The long-faced bartender with the NextGen comm badge complies.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 15 Dec 23 - 03:23 AM

In that case, make it a pan-galactic gargle blaster.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 23 - 08:23 PM

“That’s okay,” says the barman, “all the drinks refill by means of a transdimensional transporter. Call it and if it exists you’ll have it. Amos set it up before he left.”

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 14 Dec 23 - 12:38 PM

The Gnome walks up to the bar, orders a double whisky and knocks it back in one. Followed by a double rum, a double gin, a double brandy and a double vodka. The barman asks what he wants next

"I shouldn't really drink with what I've got" he replies

The worried barman what he has got

"About 14p..."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Dec 23 - 12:08 PM

More guano!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 Dec 23 - 07:32 AM

happy squidmas

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 14 Dec 23 - 04:17 AM

The tree stir and starts to expand.
As the young teenager said to the actress "You'd better stand back, I don't know how big this thing's going to grow".

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Dec 23 - 08:19 PM

Oh Tannenbaum oh Tannenbaum...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 23 - 11:46 AM

With a groan and the ear splitting squeal of unoiled and out of tune metal parts, the roof opens and overhead a sleigh pulled by eight huge reindeer circles overhead. A claw drops and fastens on the old, dry tree and hauls it up and away. The debris left behind is gathered by squid tentacles and the giant wombat and neatl stacked by the fireplace. In its place he puts a tub containing something far more pathetic than anything Charlie Brown ever considered for Christmas. Quietly he pours a glass of water and a glass of pure akavit in the tub in which it is planted.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Dec 23 - 02:33 AM

the giant wombat wanders in ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Dec 23 - 01:23 AM

Perhaps a faint rendition of
Shane MacGowan's "Fairytale of New York"
animates the newly opened tavern.

"And the bells were ringing out for Christmas Day ..."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Dec 23 - 12:09 AM

Outside a light snow has coated some of the clean electric snowmobiles and their several miles of extension cords. The garage door still has remnants of the image of Jesus Christ that was miraculously emblazoned into the wood by a lit fart. A distant plaintive whistle of a steam engine echoes through the woods.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: GUEST,Ghost of Mudcat Taverns Past
Date: 12 Dec 23 - 09:41 PM

Light filters through dirty windows, past the bar and the fireplace and the sometimes jello pit, but it doesn't quite touch the nether reaches of the building. The shakes on the back wall shimmer with shadows and a few ghosts of Mudcat Christmases past stir. Amos, Spaw, Mmario, Art Thieme, Katlaughing, Sorcha, Micca, Alice Flynn, and so many others. . . quickening at the prospect of hijinks and good stories.

Subject: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2023
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 23 - 08:16 PM

The door creaks open to his touch. Inside there is the usual pile of bat guano, a very dry Christmas tree, and a lingering smell of barbecued auroch. A tentative tentacle waves. Bats swoop down from the rafters (the source of the guano -- the bats, not the rafters).

He ties his horse to the hitching rack and enters. Using his flint and steel he lights a candle.