Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:35 PM

You need to fill that whole hole with something or someone will fall into it.

Jello, anyone? The largest jello pit in the world, it will even show up on Google Earth (standing in for it is Google Maps, since you may not all have G.E. installed).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:17 PM

We could all use a little C-5A instead. Amos has a stash somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:13 PM

Good point. The term "c4" has probably already triggered an investigation of this site by the FBI.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:54 PM

Listen from the bar, is that Sr. Josephine I hear....
hopefully the police will stay far away from this scene. I'm afraid all that C4 will start terrorist speculation....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:21 PM

125 Kg. of C-4 per hole SHOULD have created a really nice six-holer, not this great big huge deep single hole. Let's see...okay, that one checks out...and so does that calcula...AHA!

Ye olde misplaced decimal point!

Well, three places to the left, three to right, what's a teensy little error like that between friends, hmm?

Besides, everybody needs a hole the size of a city block, right?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:14 PM

Its about time for them to stop and smell the rosaries.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:07 PM

I think they overheard Sins' comment about their didtinctive odour and decided it was time to get shed of their nasty habit.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:02 PM

Be careful, SINSULL!

They LOOK peaceful enough, but they may be the type who practice Nun-Violence. So if you see one with a ruler, mind your wrists.....


Could they have shed their clothes to remain anunnymous?



They either ARE nuns or AREN'T. You can't habit both ways. But those near-sighted polar bears find them just as tasty as penguins.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:48 PM

Heard muttering, in Penguinese of course, "Exeunt, pursued by a bear."

And sure enough, there go the polar bears. Phew! That was close! No, I most definitely do NOT speak their language!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:47 PM

Sins has "Nun-dar"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:46 PM

SINSULL,

How can you tell they're nuns, if they're naked?

They might've kicked the habit, but can you be sure?

Do you really think you can tell them by sense of smell?....That's a bunch of Nunscents!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:41 PM

No, Severn, that's Amos's couch, last seen floating out into the Pacific with the tide and being piloted by several naked, stunned penguins.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:38 PM

Seals Of Approval?

Christmas Seals?

I thought that red kayak was Omar's, the "ruby yacht" he's always talking about......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:37 PM

And with a giant heave, the guest house flies into the neighbor's yard - 1/2 mile away.

I think I need a doctor - either I am seeing little tiny pink elephants or a chorus line of naked nuns. Maybe I will jsut stay here for a while...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:36 PM

Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?

Looks like you've managed to create a new tributary to the Intercoastal Waterway. Runs right through Amos's living room.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:31 PM

Uh oh...do they have oil under southern California, or was that a pipeline?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:28 PM

I decided to make Amos a six-holer. It'll be nice and deep, assuming the charges don't cut water, sewer, gas, electric or other kinds of lines. Anyway...

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:26 PM

Don't yuns guys know nuthin'? With global warming, it won't be cold enough for them at either pole, so they have to meet somewhere in the middle!   San Diego seems like a reasonable compromise.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:22 PM

This is a good lesson: Always consider the possible results before plucking!
I honestly had no idea how much these penguins depended on their feathers for insulation. Look at the poor little naked blighters. It's eighty two degrees out here and they're shivering and covered with goose...I mean penguin bumps. Ok, the only thing to do is to get their blood pumping...here, I'll march them down to the end of the block and back. Somebody run up to Target and get about 32 terrycloth robes, extra small.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:13 PM

That's why Polar bears and penguins **are** at sepeate ends of the earth - Mother Nature's way of preventing bi-polar populations.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:11 PM

Is that black and white lady in the bathroom so long some kind of nuncomepoop?

More animals to get rid of more animals? It's beginning to get a little bit like The Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly.....

But you can tell that they're really Poler Bears because they're heading for that new pole. We may have to get some more poles out of the pole vault, at this rate. Claire, do you speak their language?

If you crossed a penguin with a white bear, would the offspring have a bi-polar disorder?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:07 PM

(It'll Raise High the Roof Beams. . . )

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:07 PM

SINS, use the christmas tree winch to pull that house back up.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:06 PM

Art, Art, Art, you know those creatures are polar opposites! You'll create another Big Bang if you bring them together in the Mudcat Time Continuum. Geez, didn't they teach you ANYTHING in school? Amos' rinky dink rink won't be big enough for them anyway. And they'd just eat the seal that hangs out with his kayak. He likes that seal. Or sea lion. Whatever.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:02 PM

I've fallen an I can't get up. Someone get me out of here. Those nuns stink! Don't they bathe in the convent? I thought cleanliness was next to godliness?

If I am stuck here for the duration, could someone please pass me a large JD on the rocks and a couple of aspirin. I think I have a concussion.


mumble mumble Liz is better at this than me.

Did anyone remember to bring the magic wand from the tavern? Amos may be expecting us to put this all back together. At least you could use it to get me from under the guest house (or what's left of it)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:53 PM

...Don't want nun, can't get nun...

The North Portal is open, next to the bidet in the fourth upstairs bathroom. Want I should bringing in some polar bears to take care of the extra penguins? And are those real flamingos out on the front lawn or plastic ones?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:46 PM

Those nuns of yours are a thirsty lot. They've finished the Alaska White and are starting in on the amber. And they're joining in on the chorus with that squirrel you hired. Listen:

(Faint sound of "no, nay, never...")

One of 'em's heading for the firepole...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:43 PM

Nuns are the Brides of Zeus?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:41 PM

SINSULL,

If you have nun problems, shouldn't you be going to Dear Abbey?

And will God heed a plea to save you from nuns, brides of Hey Soos?

Nuns are usually a tough order, anyway.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:34 PM

If we want to keep them cool, wouldn't it be easier to just sedate the penguins and pluck them? We should be done in a half hour, then we could use the penguin feathers to make some really groovy polar futons.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:33 PM

SINSULL,

Nun isn't better than some at all?

Are you sure those black and white things aren't penguins?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:00 PM

my head hurts


and I am surrounded by teeny tiny nuns

OH GOD. Get me out of here!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:36 PM

Wait -- do those penguins dance, by any chance? If so, there might have been a small misapprehension when we placed the order for the pole dancers to go with that firepole.

Pity, they're such good chorus singers I'd hate to have to send them back...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:34 PM

In "Mr. Popper's Penguins" they just flooded the basement and left the fridge door open with it turned all the way up.....

Why don't we do that? With those new solar panels it won't cost Amos anything....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:24 PM

Better take them to the zoo for now; if the rink isn't done by then, someone can take them to an air conditioned movie theater after that.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:15 PM

Have those guys finished with the icerink yet? There's a truck outside with a dozen penguins and they look a bit overheated.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:10 PM

Aw, C-4. What memories that brings back. Just the smell brings tears of rememberance to my eyes.

Well, you know, if the bathrooms are too big we can smallify them. Or better, let's make Amos a new one out in the yard. Earth composting and all that. If you can't find a shovel I have more C-4.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:06 PM

SINSULL's been off the wall for so long I'm not sure she should've tried to be "hands on".

And after we'd hunted up an old LP of Vince Martin & Fred Neil singing "Tear Down The Walls" to inspire her.....

I hope she's OK.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:58 PM

I can't find the key to A's liquor cabinet, so I have planted 2 ounces of C4 on the lock. Everybody out of the den! 5...4...3..

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:57 PM

Thanks, Stilly. Howdja know I was an English major?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:55 PM

Has anyone explained the concept of "bearing wall" to the POEM (Professional Organization of English Majors) deconstruction crew? That had to hurt. . .

Nice glasses, ClaireBear. They'll go well with his Golden Globes collection.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:44 PM

Mary? You OK? Here, let me give you a hand with that beam. Ooof! Heavy sucker, innit?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:40 PM

Unfortunately, The Crispy Critter will have to be a shady character for the most part. Washing down a pain pill from time to time, only if absolutely nescessary, but still here sitting down and not part of any rescue missions or whaling crews this time out. Of course, I'm usually trying to avoid getting exposed anyway.

Still, I wouldn't miss the Tavern for all the steak in Salisbury.

A Tangerine-Lime diet Hanson's soda, please.....






If it's gotta be Xmas, then Tannenbaums away! (Charlie Baum's also away, but I think he's coming back). I thought you'd said excemas,and had thought that a little rash.....

Bombs over Gilead!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:34 PM

Very tasteful, Claire. I'll be right back...



WHAMMMMM!!!!
WHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!
CRACK!!
CRAAAAACKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!
WARUMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



help......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:10 PM

Hello everybody. Funny, As I was hiking up the path from the beach, I passed Little Hawk carrying a blow-up William Shatner. Oddest thing...

Anyway, good day, all. I brought some glassware for the bar -- sure hope Amos likes it. Can I have a gin and Bitter Lemon please? Yes, with Bombay Sapphire -- that makes a lovely drink. Thanks!

Ahhhhh ... Schweppervescence.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:07 PM

I wonder if the mosquitoes are biting in Belize? It's very nice here in Amos' back yard.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 04 May 09 - 11:32 AM

I don't know... perhaps if we take out the back wall of this guesthouse

and the front wall of the one behind it.....


Or we could just open up the front wall and use the pool as audience seating with float chairs.

Perhaps the squid would take on wait staff duties? Margurita please...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 11:20 AM

It looks like one of those open concept high ceiling Japanese guest houses--I think you could take out a wall in here with a flyswatter, SINS.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 04 May 09 - 11:20 AM

Ah Mary we could make a fine demolition team, you and I.....hehehe

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 11:12 AM

I have always wanted to knock down a wall with a sledgehammer. Let me do it! PLEEEAASE????