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BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Paul G. Date: 27 Dec 01 - 09:25 PM Well, well, well...as a Florida songwriter who has spent endless hours pulling out lyrics about Manatees, Sand Hill Cranes, Panthers, Bears, and Red Shouldered Hawks I must say that I am awed and inspired to trudge on. I am working on training our St. John's River sea cows to drive specially modified power boats strait over the flabby backsides of our Duval County water rednecks. Works best immediately after they fall stone-drunk off their jet fuel powered skidoos. See what it takes to pull me out of a months long lurk? You guys are good! Spaw -- go outside now and build a snow-manatee for the neighbors. You'll piss off the possums sure. --pg |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Genie Date: 27 Dec 01 - 09:22 PM Then, again, khandu with the little "k," I guess it depends on how long you've been at sea! G |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: khandu Date: 27 Dec 01 - 09:16 PM Genie, A couple a' pints of good old Guinness would do it for me! Yes, Swift's "Modest Proposal" makes even more sense today! It also reminds me of Scrooge; "If they would rather die, let them! It would cut down on the surplus population!" khandu (little "k") |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Genie Date: 27 Dec 01 - 08:56 PM Spaw and Wes, Why stop at manatees and bald eagles and peregrines? Ever read that "Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift (I think)? Seems the young of the poor white trash taste pretty good, too--and solve the problem of population explosion, to boot! (Wonder what jet skiers taste like with a little barbecue sauce... . Maybe we could get manatees used to them as a food source.) Genie P.S., |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Rolfyboy6 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 08:32 PM I think it's important to remember the uncertain future the manatees face from the threat of high fashion. Those hides make the best clunky soled women's shoes. The word is out that the vicious Swiss black market in Manatee hides has heated up. The banker's wives of Zurich are slaves to fashion and they are bumping around town on mantee hide. There are persistent reports of manatee hide shipments down the Rhine to the UK for the high level Dr. Dentons worn by conscienceless punsters and aging mods. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: katlaughing Date: 27 Dec 01 - 06:24 PM Bravo, Amos! Thanks for the link, Stewie! I didn't know about dugong. kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Amos Date: 27 Dec 01 - 06:01 PM You may perk up your vanity, With screeds of inanity And well-hidden profanity And Guest-like Insanity But turn on your urbanity, And off your villainity We'll show our humanity By speaking of manatee! The result, in great quanity And high-witted zanity We'll skip Christianity For deep oceanity! So Khandu's serenity And southern amenity Will heal our insanities With songs about manatees! Regards, A. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 05:53 PM Well, manatees make strange bedfellows. Mine was pretty good though I noticed yours seemed to be having a problem with your "style".......Try Viagra. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: khandu Date: 27 Dec 01 - 05:39 PM Perhaps I should have entitled this thread "Manatee, insanity and other inanities. I am greatly vexed, however. The Famous Ahian Nose-burner, Mr. Catswap, has actually agreed with me. What a way to end a strange year! khandu
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Blackcatter Date: 27 Dec 01 - 05:19 PM I like the manatees here in Central Florida - it helps us tell the idiots (those that complain about no-wake laws) form the normal people. We then make sure that the idiots drink enough Mtn. Dew so they beome infertile and are unable to produce kids. Thank you manatees! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Amos Date: 27 Dec 01 - 04:13 PM Jeeze, Spaw, you can be SUCH a jerk!!! Is that a native talent, or acquired by corporate-culture overexposure? LOL!!! IBM sales, wasn't it? Big iron systems? Just yore style. Maybe we should be glad you're retired though -- I imagine you were pretty good at it. Horrible thought, you out there spreading mainframes like so many virii. ***bg*** Love ya,man. Hope the New Year just lifts ya up with joy and success. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 03:26 PM No thanks Wes, the meats kinda' tough and chewy. I'd like to try California Condor though if you can get some. A much larger bird and with a distinctive taste. Since their population has increased from about 20 to about 150, I figure we can start killing them off for food anytime. Or, if you can find a few brace of Peregrine, that'd be great. takes about two per person for a good meal, so maybe a couple dozen will do for my next party. Thanks! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Stewie Date: 27 Dec 01 - 03:24 PM Like Alonia above, I did not know anything about a manatee - thanks for the link. I am well aware, however, of the dugong and it appears that these marvellous creatures are related. Dugong are found, among other places, in the waters off northern Australia and, like the manatee, are in danger of extinction. Some info on dugongs may be found Here and Here. --Stewie. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Wesley S Date: 27 Dec 01 - 02:10 PM Spaw - I'm sorry your manatee steak source has dried up. Do you have any interest in some fresh bald eagle? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 01:42 PM Naw, they won't slaughter tham at the zoo anymore dammit. Has something to do with the fact that Columbus was the first inland rescue center and has had the highest success of all inland facilities so far or something. I guess they don't want to screw up the record. Word has it we're getting three more so maybe there'll be some steak possibilities soon. We had a great Christmas outside of that.......Hope the three of you enjoyed yours as well as I read you did! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Wesley S Date: 27 Dec 01 - 01:37 PM Rumor has it that you have a dingleberry that you can't get at either but keep trying. Maybe your flaming cross can get at it. By the way - Jimmy Buffets website has a link to an organization that works to preserve the manatee. I hope y'all had a great Christmas. Did you have a turkey or manatee steaks again ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 01:20 PM Great zot Wesley....What is the matter with you? Look man, I've seen them in the wild and I have spent a lot of bucks and a lot of time to see them at our zoo. It's always the first place we hit to see those lumbering behemoths. For the life of me I don't know why we have spent hours staring at them and why I have bought Karen all that damn manatee jewelry is beyond me. And why we donate to that stupid foundation is equally appalling! I just don't get it. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Wesley S Date: 27 Dec 01 - 12:56 PM I for one am glad the Manatee's are worthless. If they had any value the poachers and bubba's would have wiped them out a long time ago. As someone who grew up in Florida I would prefer a river clogged with Manatees than skidoos and jet boats. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 12:48 PM I think I have perhaps solved the problem of these freakin' worthless manatees and freed up the valuable rivers and lakes for 300 HP Bass Boats and thousands of jet skis! See the Hamster thread! I would like to help especially in Khandu's case since flaming crosses should be saved for more worthwhile endeavors! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Charley Noble Date: 27 Dec 01 - 12:45 PM Reminds me of that great song that our friends Magpie put together on their CIRCLE OF LIFE CD entitled "Hugh the Manatee." |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Amos Date: 27 Dec 01 - 12:28 PM You got it, Alonia -- they're downright Mythic. Khandzu should be ashamed, I say!! LOL. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Alonia Date: 27 Dec 01 - 12:02 PM didnt know what a manatee was WOW!! What wonderful creatures :) thankyou http://www.manateeworld.net/index.htm |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Jack The Lad Date: 27 Dec 01 - 11:58 AM My father was the keeper of the Marapaus Light, He married a manatee one fine night, The result of this union was three, A catfish, a skiddoo, and the other was me, Yo Ho Ho, Crystal River flows free, We'll all have blackstrap and kudzu for tea! Jack The Lad |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Sorcha Date: 27 Dec 01 - 11:54 AM Yup. Skidoos are right up there with jet boats. Especially when the camp neighbor fires one up at 5 AM. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: katlaughing Date: 27 Dec 01 - 11:42 AM Well said, Wesley! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Wesley S Date: 27 Dec 01 - 11:33 AM Save the manatee - ban powerboats and those damn skeedoo's { also known as "personal watercraft" } -skeedoo's are the most annoying inventions known to man. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 10:08 AM Well, it's like the old Georgia farmer said: There are three things I hate in this life. Kudzu, city folks, and kudzu. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: MMario Date: 27 Dec 01 - 09:59 AM while I was in college - (yes, *that* long ago) they were running trials on feeding dairy cows on kudzu - trouble was cutting the dang stuff made it grow faster! Cows liked it if you drizzled a little blackstrap over it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 09:47 AM Mario, the manatees natural food is the water hyacinth but I think even they draw the line at kudzu. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: MMario Date: 27 Dec 01 - 09:42 AM feed the manatees the kudzu and water-hyacinth. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: GUEST Date: 27 Dec 01 - 09:38 AM It must be a Devil of a job to MILK these damned thingss? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 04:18 AM The price of keeping the whole manatee thing going is quite high. The Columbus Zoo alone spent several million to build a facility for manatee rescue and though it certainly draws a crowd, I doubt if it is by any means self-sustaining. There are two permanent residents and there have been 7 returned to their native habitat after being put back into condition. All of these were injured from boat prop strikes. If you factor in the man hours and the costs of jet transport both ways, the cost/manatee skyrockets. and that doesn't even take into account the daily maintenance costs of these animals. They aren't called sea cows for nothing. Eash one eats several crates of lettuce per day and while feeding time is a popular attraction, I wonder how many small children have been frightened to go into the water after seeing these things feed.......and worse. They have a monstrous glass sided tank here that you can walk along and see quite clearly and you haven't seen anything until you see one of these behemoths drop a load! And a load it is. As I said, sea cow is appropriate. It's really disgusting and a lot of the kids standing around were completely grossed out. This alone will probably keep many from even going wading in some of our southern rivers. In a discussion on a different board, a Florida resident also pointed out the following: ".....you have no idea what a problem they are. Here we have such wonderful family attractions like Disney, Wet and Wild, Bush Gardens Sea World, Universal, and the water ski show at Cypress Gardens....but those damn Rivers with their manatees,and those stupid swamps and cypress trees wasting space that could better be put to use as hotel sites and golf courses and sub divisions." Although the manatee may draw a few tourists, the impact of the individual tourist dollar especially, could be better spent with one of the Disney or other attractions which employ people there and results in far greater benefits to the community as a whole. Khandu, I'm with you on this one and I would suggest that boaters in the area go to stainless steel props which are less likely to be damaged and will probably result in a surer kill. Those manatees struck should just be hauled ashore and then y'all can do what you see fit, which in Mississippi probably means sticking a flaming cross up their ass and barbequing the damn things. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: katlaughing Date: 27 Dec 01 - 01:41 AM Well, thank gawd we got that sorted! I was hoping I saw some very big tongues in cheek there and Amos seems to have proved it, eh? 'Cause, ya know I was ready! I've got an artist friend who won't sell a painting he did of an Ascended Manatee, which is just gorgeous, and I can vouch for their high moral fibre and general benevolence towards the underserving humankind, also! katmanateelover&proudofit!*bg* |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Amos Date: 27 Dec 01 - 01:18 AM Tell ya what. My introduction to Manatees was snorkeling among them in the Crystal River. I put my arm around one, and he happily towed me along, cruising the bottom of the river, and we talked. He was a very decent person, easy going, tolerant, no anger in him, just mellow and tolerant. You should be so lucky!! :>) Thanks for the grin, khandu! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: khandu Date: 27 Dec 01 - 01:01 AM An interesting and enriching view, Amos. I shall ponder this. khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Amos Date: 27 Dec 01 - 12:54 AM Wodda crock!! Manatees are Elevated Beings, and they're good for looking mournful and reminding you of your Higher Self...
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: GUEST,spikepole Date: 27 Dec 01 - 12:27 AM Look... I'm not afraid of them. I just don't like them. Arn't they kind of slimey? I'll tell you though.They don't belong in La. anymore than those damned Black Bears.I've got buddies that know how to take care of those problems.There is still a good fur trade going on but manatees arn't good for anything. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: GUEST,khandu Date: 27 Dec 01 - 12:15 AM Can anyone make a decision? Why must they follow the dollar or the fickle public opinion? Does God not make balls anymore? If so, why doesn't someone use them? khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: GUEST,spikepole Date: 27 Dec 01 - 12:15 AM Man....if they're in Marapaus they could get to me! I really don't like the idea. They're not good for anything are they? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Rolfyboy6 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 12:01 AM Vicious attack Manatees in the pay of Petroleum Interests force clean warm water on the residents of Mudville. Opponents publish sympathetic pictures of photogenic catfish writhing in agony. Louisiana legislators jockey on the sidelines nudging each other to see who falls in first and spot which way the dollars are flowing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: GUEST,khandu Date: 26 Dec 01 - 11:58 PM See! I do not stand alone! khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: GUEST,spikepole Date: 26 Dec 01 - 11:56 PM I had one really mess up my boat last summer! Damned Manatees!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Blackcatter Date: 26 Dec 01 - 11:45 PM Khandu, So what you're saying is that some harmless animals are causing you to slow down your attempt to destroy the environment? Don't let that get out - the raccoons and deer will come knocking and trash your house. Frankly, your opinion is much better served at www.John-Birch.wierdos get a life and get it somewhere else. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: GUEST,khandu Date: 26 Dec 01 - 11:13 PM What? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Amos Date: 26 Dec 01 - 10:03 PM Oh, khando-who-khannot, go screw. Manatees are fine upstanding citizens, who have no natural enemies except your bloody power boats and who always speak in a civilize and considerate manner. The plan would put you right up there with OBL as "Perpetrator of Heinous Offenses Against Innocent Life Forms" of the year. Invasion, indeed!! Like the federal government itself, Manatee are here to help you! A |
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Subject: The Invasion of the Manatees From: GUEST,khandu Date: 26 Dec 01 - 09:24 PM Manatees are coming into lake Marapaus! The damn things get in there through lake Ponchatrain and really screw up the pleasure boating. I'm sick and tired of it! There is a refinery at the mouth of Bayou Manchac which feeds into Marapaus from the Mississippi river. I figure we should turn the waste from that plant from spilling into the river and let it go into the lake. This would solve the manatee problem within two days. The only draw back would be that the people in New Orleans would have to get used to the cleaner taste of the drinking water. It wouldn't have chunks in it anymore. I don't know if they could handle it. The plan would work and I would have a better chance of making time magazine's "man of the year." khandu |