BS: Words.....

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Bert
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 10:28 PM

Talking of kids when dante age 4 starts whining, as four year olds do he gets called a whinocerous.

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 07:11 AM

What wonderfulness that Sneezles poem.

My Andie made up the spagitos for mosquitos. Took us forever to figure out what she was on about. At first we thought she was talking about spaghettios.

I don't like spagitos cuz they itch. Huh?

TSO's daughter made up a plural for sheep - sheepoes. Don't ask me, how she came by that.

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 10:16 PM

John, THANK YOU. I've never seen that one before. Morgan will love it!

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 09:31 PM

Also things children have said, like clo (the singular of clothes)...

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Paul Burke
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 05:22 PM

Excess: second- hand sewage.
Gland piano: foreplay
Foreplay: golf
Libellous: lacking an information sticker in London.
Faultitude: tolerance of imperfection
Queasine: unappetising food
Acne: a spot in London
Vasectomy: an operation to remove an improperly- used flower container
Plantheism: the worship of management initiatives
Fanny: rather like a ventilator
Scupid: god who makes all the best women fall in love with dumbasses
Wombera: An Australian device for accelerating childbirth
Baltimore: the Asian quarter of Ilkley
Concur: a bogus dog

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 01:00 PM

TSO got the new Uxbridge English Dictionary for Christmas.

And there was a music themed UED game on the Mornington Crescent thread.

A lift of my definitions follows:

Ragtime = monthly feminine condition

Allegro = a line or queue of lower limbs

Pizzicato = takeaway food for felines

Homophony = pretending to be a man

Madrigal = King George

Pentatonic = five gins no water

Prelude = just before you get flashed

Staccato = to stack cats


and from TSO

Crotchet = one quater irritable

Indie = All in the same key

Nobless O'Blige = famous Irish castrato


There a few other really good ones on that thread but as they are not mine or TSO's I won't lift them.

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 12:27 PM

There you go Kat, this is from a book called Now We Are Six. I got it for my 6th birthday, and I gave it to my son and grandson, on their 6th birthdays too.




Sneezles


by A A Milne



Christopher Robin
Had wheezles
And sneezles,
They bundled him
Into
His bed.
They gave him what goes
With a cold in the nose,
And some more for a cold
In the head.
They wondered
If wheezles
Could turn
Into measles,
If sneezles
Would turn
Into mumps;
They examined his chest
For a rash,
And the rest
Of his body for swellings and lumps.
They sent for some doctors
In sneezles
And wheezles
To tell them what ought
To be done.
All sorts and conditions
Of famous physicians
Came hurrying round
At a run.
They all made a note
Of the state of his throat,
They asked if he suffered from thirst;
They asked if the sneezles
Came after the wheezles,
Or if the first sneezle
Came first.
They said, "If you teazle
A sneezle
Or wheezle,
A measle
May easily grow.
But humour or pleazle
The wheezle
Or sneezle,
The measle
Will certainly go."
They expounded the reazles
For sneezles
And wheezles,
The manner of measles
When new.
They said "If he freezles
In draughts and in breezles,
Then PHTHEEZLES
May even ensue."


Christopher Robin
Got up in the morning,
The sneezles had vanished away.
And the look in his eye
Seemed to say to the sky,
"Now, how to amuse them to-day?"

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 12:00 PM

'Catatonic- a secret elixir members here drink in order to come up with this stuff. ☺

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 11:27 AM

Adversary: A poetic soul reduced to writing jingles for products.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: frogprince
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 11:17 AM

circumlocution; the act of talking one's foreskin off.

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 11:13 AM

Thanks for starting this thread, dwdwitty. I like it.

Must admit I doubt that the Post would actually print "Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole."

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 11:12 AM

Thanks, dw! Those are great!

Around here my grandson and I like to make new words. He loves that we don't just "sneeze." We have the Sneezles; makes him laugh every time.

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Mr Happy
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 10:41 AM

Interred: Up to your neck in **it!!

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 10:40 AM

Could well be, Sins, but I wouldn't know about these things:-P

D

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 10:24 AM

Dave,
Is that similar to curb crawling?

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 10:10 AM

My favourite Oxbridge Dictionary word on ISIHAC was from Barry Cryer:

Goatherd = exclamation made while flushing.

Good old British smut.

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 09:48 AM

There is a construction company operating in the North of England and possibly other areas called 'Curbishly'. I always thought it would make a good adverb.

"he crawled along the pavement, curbishly..."

DeG

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Mr Happy
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 09:12 AM

Nitty-Gritty

On British roads, we're getting plenty Nitty but hardly any Gritty!

True Grit, where??

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: Lox
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 08:52 AM

John,

lol

Subject: RE: BS: Words.....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 08:40 AM

We have a similar manifestation of this in the UK, it's called 'Oxbridge English Dictionary', and it's one of the rounds in a mad panel game, called 'I'm sorry I Haven't a Clue'.
My current favourite is.

Newcastle, v To drop a bomb on Piers Morgan [An odious newspaper editor]

Subject: BS: Words.....
From: dwditty
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 07:55 AM

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n . An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.