 sj |
||
|
||
BS: The Mudcat Tavern
|
|
|
Subject: The Mudcat Tavern From: Caitrin Date: 14 Mar 00 - 05:39 PM Yes, ladies and gentlemen (and I use the terms loosely), it's back: The Mudcat Tavern! The old oak tables have been dragged back in, the vile black stuff is in stock, and Caitrin is wiping down the counter, getting everything ready for our noble customers! The Tavern is back in operation, ready for its inhabitants' scintillating conversation and outrageous fun. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: JenEllen Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:02 PM Thanks doll, you got anything that won't put the whammy on my meds? One little bump to the head, and they load you up with unpronounceables....how's about a good hot mug o'tea? I'll take the corner booth and see what develops... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:05 PM Well howdy Caitrin! Ahh...it's been a good long time since I was in here! Yes, with the Micheal Mhor back, and Spaw mixing it up with Amos, it's sure to be another fine fun time. Now where's that Mario? He said he made a shiny wooden pedestal for me....I could use that for an art project! Well since I finally got it back (the school didn't feel it was a keeper) I'm hanging the AMAZING MUDCAT GUITAR up on the Mudcat Tavern Wall of Shame, right next to the thong and the calendar skivvies. Ha! It's about time someone else got to stare at that monstrosity besides me! I figure the others should be along shortly...maybe if Jon gets in tonight I'll play him "Blackberry Way" again. LA LA LA! NEW SONGS! LA LA LA! NEW TUNES! LET THE FUN BEGIN!!! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:13 PM (A tall, stunning, buffed out youth in brows delivery-service fatigues comes through the door bearing a large package, definitely longer than wide, with curiously rounded ends.) ) Hey! Goy named M. Blow in here? Got a pedestal. Instructions say you have to bend over for receipt. Never mind, just sign here. ) ) (Glancing nervously at the raspberry jello pit, he drops the long paper-wrapped parcel on the floor next to Mbo and exits nervously). |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:31 PM Thank Gods! the War is over! Truce is declared! Draw me a long pint, Cat, me girl, then come set a while. Ye'll be workin' hard enough soon, when the boys get here to roll in the hay! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:38 PM Ah.. all my friends are returning this is nice. Hand me that pot of tea please Caitrin looks like Jenellen needs a refill... Jaysus put some Brandy in it for her Aye... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:39 PM Agent Praise reels in from the street and hops onto a barstool. "I'm outta that F**ing Mudcat FBI for keeps this time! The f**ing grant is submitted, the f**ing mailing is as done as this woman's goin' to do it, the f**ing staff are back to being productive-- the perfect time!! I quit! Gimme an oil tankerful of yer best or I'm off to see what cujimmy's pourin' at the British Isles Mudcat Tavern! An' hey-- didja see that buff boyo in uniform that just left? Ah, he was butt-ugly till he smiled, then he broke my f**ing heart! Men-- there you are--- form a press gang and get him back here-- I'm takin' over the jello pit! Along with any man big enough to share it with!" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:01 PM Praise Praise Praise! Rehashing old material? C'mon, it wasn't THAT funny! And watch that Billingsgate around here! **BOG** Hmmm....wonder what's in this package? Oh and Praise, I'm not getting in that thing, so forget it! And the Speedo is DEFINATELY out of the question! That's Micheal Mhor's territory! :{> --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:08 PM psssst: (i have been told this woman hangs out with a man of G-D, and now she's admitting to being a secret agent? And SUCH language from the Rector's lady!) Boy we better be a little more careful who we let in here, guys. She might even play (gasp!) Klezmer on AUTOHARP! Bring me another pint, I have to keep my strenght up! Or it will get limp! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:26 PM Alright gang! It's "Green Autumn Stubble" time! Ye-YES! Let's see, we've got a fiddle, an autoharp, and my guitar--think we can work it out! LET'S ROCK!! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:45 PM Mbo, No, no, not autoharp, washboard for that!!! And not wunna them Cajun things ya gotta wear-- too hard to clean after... well... too hard to clean!!! And a waste of church keys! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:51 PM "No, I'm sorry Mrs. Clumberbutt, Father Hardiman is not at home right now to discuss your unfortunate situation. He is at church this evening, preaching to the choir. What? No... I am sorry I cannot listen to your problem myself and either solve it or tell him all about it... No I'm sorry, there is too much interference on the phone... no I am NOT at home at present, but that is NOT the hound of hell you are hearing in the background... not exactly that is... I am out in the field this evening, on call for disaster relief, and this is my cell phone... it's breaking up, too much interference from the JAY EE ELL ELL OH pit.... Yes, I will tell him you called, F88k you very much Mrs. Clumberbutt... Oh yes dear I mean Sorcha, you are too kind...." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:52 PM Um...ok. --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:54 PM And furthermore, if this is not an equal opportunity tavern, go to hell! LOL, PWO |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:05 PM Praise World Order? And don't knock Sorcha! She my future...ok never mind! **BOG** HEY! This song needs some serious bass, who's gonna venture a go on the Mudcat Guitar? --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:14 PM Sorcha? Did you tip the nod to young Mbo at long last? Oh, hurray...this calls for a celebration. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:21 PM Amos, Amos, Amos. Let's step into my office when we can speak privately... --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:25 PM Hell, Mbo, if you can't spit it out in the Mudcat Tavern, where CAN you spit it out? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone -- or need to. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:33 PM Oh no, it ain't that at all, my friend. I just wanted you to meet a friends of mine...Rick Fielding is his name, and he has a penchant for Ferris Wheels...and making people go bye-bye. Unnastan? **BG** --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:40 PM (The muffled, deepwater rumble of 1947 Indian hemi penetrates the Tavern's walls briefly, and a tall darkeyed poet strides through the door, wearing a long black roundup coat and a slouch hat pulled low over his eyes. He carries a battered Martin case, layered with travel stickers and steamer stamps. A small vibrant, bright-eyed capuchin monkey rides easily on his shoulder, waving happily to old friends of the marsupial persuasion he sees on the floor). GOD!! Am I glad to be here. Nearly got run over by a big truck with a E_C_N_A_L_U_B_M_A sign on it , flashing and beeping, heading west toward Infinite Loop of Discourse, old threads streaming out of it ...Had a bunch of angry looking minks clinging to the rooof. Had a green glow around it. Scared the heck outa me! Anyone know what it was? Miss Caitrin, if you would be so graciously inclined, I would love two pints of Guiness in a one-quart Catfish mug...thankee, you are as kind as you are beautiful, which says a lot for the future happiness of the world. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:49 PM Yo Amos, since I'm pretty much forced to take ceramics classes this summer, and NOT being a Pied Piper, I could make you a whole set of Mudcat mugs, enough to restock the shelves. At 5 hours a day, I should be able to pump out say, 15...4 days a week, that's um....yeah, well, I guess they WERE right when they said you need to know math to be an artist! Even if you just sit at a computer all day and make little designs! AS STUBBLE LANDS WERE GREENIIIIING, SHE CAME AMONG THE STOOOOKS!! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Biskit Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:49 PM Man I've been looki' for this place Break a pint' wrap some fish in paper pass the malt vinager and I'' be in the corner wit' my guitar breakin' young girls hearts. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:50 PM Mbo, Pants Wetting Opportunity. You be the judge. Context is all. Whaddaya hafta do ta get a DRINK around here? Ah F**K-- didja hafta POUR it all over me?
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: GUEST,Dark-Eyed Poet Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:55 PM Ne'e'r fear, Miss Rev -- just dry-praise it. Mister Bo, if you make a dozen pint mugs in Mudcat colors with a banjo and catfish, and maybe gold letters, I'll buy one from you if you give half to the Cat,. Wodda deal! Cut down on those goddamn 404s |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:01 PM Man it's a busy night around here! Praise, with the PWO AND the Jello pit yer already soaking wet...so why complain about the drink? And now Biskit's giving me competition as The Sad Eyed Young Poet....and Amos won't keep his eyes in his head! AND GRACE WAS IN YOUR FEET THEN AND LOVE WAS IN YOUR LOOOOKS!! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:02 PM Ah, the hell wi' it......pour the rector's lady a drink. After all them flats she probly needs it. An Mbo, let's not let that cat outa the bag to soon dearie. We don't want THEM to know, know do we? (Let alone herself!) AND, I'd use thimbles on a washboard, if I had one. So, somebody fiddle me "Jolie Blone", cause I don't know it! Round for the house! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:23 PM Um....I ain't never heard of that tune, Sorcha. And neither has anyone else, obviously! I canna find it! If someone wants to take over the guitar in mid-song, I can do my fiddle solo... IN YOUR CHEEKS THE ROSE GREW REDDER AND YOUR HAIR IN CLUSTERS LAAAAAAY!!! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:26 PM Yes, Sorcha, metal thimbles and a Jim Dunlop thumbpick. And finally a place loud enough to unpack and pay the claves!!!! Dry me off, mates, they're slipping outta my hands! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:28 PM CHEEKS? HAIR GREW IN CLUSTERS? Matthew, I Never! You definitely owe the house a round for that one! (Ah, my son, my son.......) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:33 PM Hey, you can't Sting me on this one, the lyrics ain't mine, just the music. Ask dead Mr.Patrick Browne to pay, I'm a starving artist! AND I WOULD WE LIVED TOGETHER OR TOGETHER SLIPPED AWAAAAAY!! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:38 PM LIVED TOGETHER?? UNH-HU, THIS IS THE MOTHER GOD SPEAKING............ALL OR NOTHING, BOYO! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:46 PM .......uh,huh..........just as I thought, the usual suspects...........I'll not stay now, just out looking for Cleigh....thought he might have dropped by to whizz in the jello pit or crap on the ELO collection or pester the flamingos..............Say where are the flamingos? MEEBO!!! Same species man, same species!!!!............oy..................I gotta go bail Cletus out too so I'll check y'all later................... Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Hardiman the Fiddler Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:47 PM The man strode into the tavern. He was wearing a black Drover's Coat and carrying a fiddle in its case in one hand. A man of few words, he strides over to the bar and orders a double. The fellow at the next stool introduces himself as Mbo, and asks the stranger his name. "Hardiman, the Fiddler." "Say, ain't that your wife in the jello pit, with the wet tee shirt?" "Yeah, that's her . . ." "Don't you think you ought to do something about it?" "Na, ain't nothing I haven't seen before, and anyway, you might just as well go talk to the tree stump out in the yard. Think I'll play some wallow in the jello jigs, anyone know a good slip jig? Guess I'll play Hardiman. Hey barkeep! Give the Fiddler a dram, cause this fiddler don't give a dram anymore." A lady approaches the fiddler, and smiles, aksing, "Say old man, can you play the fiddle?" Hardiman smiles back and gleefully responds, "In more ways than one...." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:50 PM Thanks for the encouragment, mother god! And now for the chorus which is my own, and I take full responsibility for it... SHE STRODE THE GREEN AUTUMN STUBBLE ON THAT FATEFUL DAAAAY AND OH I THANK THE LORD ABOVE FOR BRINGING YOU MY WAAAAY! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:53 PM LOL at this PWO, Praise LEAPS out of the jello pit, coldcocks the lady talking to her HUSBAND, pokes the barkeep in the eye, whacks the fiddler over the head with the empty pint jar in her hand, and (felicity restored) saunters out back into the alley looking for.... he knows. She's thinking, "Shit! That is the LAST time I tell that SOB where I'm going!" He doens't hear, havinbg not yet been revived, and the revelers simply step over hoim. None remember to say so much as a prayer, till Mbo, ever mindful of what's proper with clergy, begins a mournful Celtic lament for the fallen... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:07 PM Man that Praise has got ants in her pants! Poking poor Caitrin in the eye and smashing the glass over mom god Sorcha's head! Assaulting the good ladies of this place--what's this world coming to? Now where's Aine when you need her? The Gaelic Goddess coulda hogtied her faster than a jackrabbit in the dark. She's got Texas Ranger in her blood you know! IT'S TRUE HE HEARS HIS PEOPLE'S PRAYERS, DON'T CARE WHAT CRITICS SAAAAAAY FOR HE SURELY ANSWERED MINE ALRIGHT WHEN HE CROSSED OUR PATHS THAT DAAAAAY!!!! Wheee! Fiddle solo time! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Hardiman the Fiddler Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:12 PM Mbo's fiddling revives Hardiman, and in appreciation for his ministrations, Hardiman buys Mbo copious rounds of fine distilled spirits. Guess Praise is still out in the alley.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:17 PM Wot? She smacked the Mother God? I been outa here tryin to my good deed for the day with Homeless, and she smacked me? For WHAT!! Well, Jenny dang the weaver, her! I'll just give him Jenny's welcome to charlie, an there's that! ( We'll probly get in trouble for this, from You Know Who!) It's worth it! Give the fiddler a dram, and the red haired man's wife, while you're at it! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:21 PM Quietly sipping his glass of Black Bushmills and watching the fun. The ancient mariner is wondering why all the violence. Oh well just some folks playing around I guess. Aye. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:21 PM Thanks, Hardiman! Back to the song! Second verse now guys!! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:37 PM She saunters back in, nervously, humming a tune Hardiman sings when he thinks no one is listening, "All her praises are shrouded with clouds of blue..." Taking quick stock of the sitcheeayshun she has created for her own sillie self, bit seeing that the gang have moved on now to even lower lows, she slips quietly into place beside the Ancient Mariner. "I fell in," she says. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:42 PM My god what HAVE you people been doing in here? Never mind, I don't want to know...just rev up the magic caffiene machine and pour me a couple of quarts of mocha java....the group was discussing *shudder* business tonight |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:45 PM And another good tune I like to play, Sorcha, dare I say it? "Kiss Me ****"! Whoa! Wanna here my song? Click here! Weeeeee! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:45 PM Oh, uh, hi Mmario... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: TheMuse Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:51 PM Mbo, Pretty cool . . . . TheMuse |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:58 PM Don't worry praise, I mean, voice from over there, with these lead coated dark glasses on I don't see a thing. Nothing. I see nothing, I know nothing, I just hear music.... *sniff* why does the place smell of jello and beer? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:01 PM Uhhh, hi, Master Mario, THL Sorcha has not had anything to do with this broughaha, Praise started it. Fell, my fiddle, she JUMPED! Don't let her get away with this, Haridman! I slapped her back first! K-K-Katy, come rescue the Mother God! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:07 PM ME TOO! ME TOO! Oops, second verse... METHOUGHT I CAME BESIDE HERE AND HELD HER TENDERLYYYY AND ALL ERIN IN DEFIED THEN TO PART MY LOVE AND MEEEEEE! --Mbo |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:14 PM Mbo? you slapped Praise? Have you lost your mind? Don't you know the power of Episcopal Church Women? they have this worldwide network. You can never escape! Believe me, I know...they hunt you down, make you *sob* set up card tables, move chairs, and (it's almost too horrible to tell) ATTEND POT-LUCKS! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:17 PM The tall dark stranger stands up and takes the ebullient and somewhat dazed praise lady by the elbow.
"Pardon me, ma'am, don't mean to intrude. Just kinda helpin, if that's okay. Let me offer you som eof our very best black coffee straight from Miss Caitrin's own coffee machine. There ya go. Now, look, ye got all that jello on you, and that's a shame, but we'll get it put right....just step this way if you would ma'a'm, please...we got us a nice cold shower room right in the back here, just what the Doctor ordered...." |