LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Port is 'on board' chemo continues
From: SINSULL
Date: 30 Mar 10 - 08:24 AM

I'm tired just reading about it.Get some rest, Superwoman.
SINS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Port is 'on board' chemo continues
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Mar 10 - 08:27 AM

I think I also need a rest - see you in 6 days when I get back from the National Folk Festival. 800+ posts - what will it be when I get back?

lots of love

sandra

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Port is 'on board' chemo continues
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 30 Mar 10 - 08:39 AM

tsk tsk tsk.... Rest is the thing you need. I know how good it feels to accomplish everything on a TO DO list. But you need to make the number one TO DO - "Rest before the body gets tired." All that energy that could have been used to help you through chemo and you spent it on dust?

What's the matter wif you?!?!? Hruummph!

How'z that for biotching?

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Port is 'on board' chemo continues
From: LilyFestre
Date: 30 Mar 10 - 08:41 AM

Kat...LOL!

KT, GOOD ON ME!!!!   :)

I know you guys are right. I just had in mind to get some other things finished so Pete wouldn't have to do them and so I wouldn't have to look at dust and clutter when I came home. My suitcase is packed and I will be away until Friday. I will only have access to the net until Wednesday afternoon so don't anyone worry!!!! :) Tomorrow will mark the half way point in chemo treatment...HOORAY!!!

One thing on my to do list was to make cupcakes to celebrate my birthday a little early. I decided I will make cupcakes for next time and we will celebrate a little late instead!!! I just ran out of steam.

Ok...onward with my day!!!

Love to you all!!!

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Port is 'on board' chemo continues
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Mar 10 - 10:30 AM

Well Happy upcoming Birthday!

I agree with the others, pace yourself, don't use all of your energy on the dust. I know looking at it can be annoying and you want to do something about it, but do what I do. Stay seated long enough and that feeling will pass.   ;-D

SRS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Port is 'on board' chemo continues
From: LilyFestre
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 06:57 AM

Good morning to all you, my rays of sunshine!

Today I begin my 3rd chemo treatment, my halfway point...if you consider the time from my diagnosis, surgeries, follow ups AND the chemo, I am well beyond halfway finished. I am praying for good blood number readings this morning, particulary the white blood cells and my CA-125 (which had dropped from a pre-surgery number of over 500 to my last reading which came in at 14 (anything under 35 is good!).

I'm up early today, going to pack up the car and deliver Easter baskets full of candy to my surgical team and the nurses who took care of me for a few days after my surgery. Then it's on the chemo center to deliver a basket of goodies to my oncologist (chemo Dr.) and another big basket for all the nurses in the back who take such good, kind, care of everyone!!!!

Being that I have a chemo bud who started the same time I did and is receiving the same combination of meds...well, she is celebrating the halfway point too....so....I have a coffee mug for her that reads, "You inspire me" and I am stuffing it full of Tootsie Pops which she always has with her (they help to get the yucky leftover chemo flavor in your mouth) and I have 2 little gold crowns for us to wear today to mark our halfway point!   Gotta have FUN!!!!!

Love to you all!

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Port is 'on board' chemo continues
From: Bobert
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 07:47 AM

Go White Cells!!!

Happy half-time, Michelle... The rest is a piece of cake...

B;~)

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Port is 'on board' chemo continues
From: LilyFestre
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 07:53 AM

Before my chemo, I have to take 5 steriods the night before. Ok, fine. This morning though, my blood sugar is 499!!!!   Gotta love those steroids! I was a good girl and took 12 units of log. Now I need to have breakfast (which will be strictly all protein) and yet another 5 steriods. At noon, they will give me even MORE steriods. My blood sugar is going to be raging like the overflooded creeks around here. High readings like that make me high and giddy myself....and today? I may just sprout wings and fly off into the universe somewhere!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: GUEST,SINS at work
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 08:23 AM

More than halfway there and a grandchild on the way. WHOO WHOO! Life is good.
A skinny to boot.
Mary

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 08:46 AM

Fly, dear one- but we will be here when you come down for a landing!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 09:22 AM

It's all downhill now. Keep up the good work.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 09:45 AM

Wow! I just sold my soul to my daughter on facebook for a grape flavoured tootsie pop! Now that is cosmic timing.

Great news! Keep up the positiveness, darling.

from Tam the 3rd ray of sunshine from the top and to the left (that's 3 and a bit o'clock).

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 31 Mar 10 - 07:21 PM

Still here and thinking of you.

Forget dust - it only comes back, anyway.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Apr 10 - 12:05 PM

Hope all is going well. Home for Easter and lots of chocolate!
Mary

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 02 Apr 10 - 06:00 PM

Holding you in love...

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: gnu
Date: 02 Apr 10 - 07:06 PM

Keep on truckin!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 02 Apr 10 - 07:33 PM

Home!!!!   More soon!!!!

Coming home is one of the best things EVER!!!!

Love you all!

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 02 Apr 10 - 08:10 PM

This chemo treatment didn't go as smoothly as the others. They had to access my port twice as the needle wasn't in correctly the first time. Also, my blood numbers are beginning to drop, specifically my platelets and hemoglobin which would account for my being so tired. The oncologist said that if my numbers dropped much more, one of two things will happen. They can postpone my next treatment and wait for the numbers to go up or I can get transfusions...platelets and a blood transfusion. So...here's to hoping the numbers perk up.

I am home. I am happy. And I am tired. Bone pain has stayed away until late today.

:) Thanks for all the well wishes.

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: gnu
Date: 02 Apr 10 - 08:24 PM

PERKULATE!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Apr 10 - 12:49 PM

Happy Easter, Pete and Michelle.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 04 Apr 10 - 01:20 PM

Happy Easter Mary!!!!

   I went to church this morning....big floppy hat and can in tow. I had to sit through most of the service as standing hurts today but I'm glad I went! :)

I'm pretty sore at the moment....knees, shins, forearms, biceps and hips. It's still a beautiful day! :)

Happy Easter to Everybody!

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Apr 10 - 01:48 PM

You're making great progress. A friend here has had to adjust her schedule a little based upon her blood counts and such, also. I think that is to be expected, to make the treatments fit you best.

Stay happy!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 04 Apr 10 - 05:25 PM

Lately I have had several women ask me how I knew I had ovarian cancer, what were the symptoms? For me, I didn't know I had ovarian cancer. It was found only because I had a biopsy that indicated I had uterine cancer which led to a hysterectomy where my ovarian cancer was also found. Looking back over the list of symptoms, I can tell you that I had most of them but attributed them to other things that I didn't much pay attention to. In that light, I wanted to share the following link with you in hopes that it might help someone else get the medical attention they need in a timely fashion. Early detection is key for ovarian cancer...the absolute key. And, FYI, ovarian cancer can NOT be detected from a Pap test.

Information about Ovarian Cancer

Love and Good Health to You All!

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 04 Apr 10 - 06:38 PM

Thank you for that Easter gift, Michelle.

I had another gift today: a crocus and some other tiny spring flowers over the septic tank- the first blooms of some bulbs I planted last fall! Proof that after the darkest hour, new life can spring forth!

You go on blooming and radiating life the way you do, my dear!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Apr 10 - 10:04 AM

OK
I will be the one to ask. Why did you have a can with you at church? Collecting donations? In case of a sudden bout of nausea? Or is this a different kind of can?

Happy Monday.
Mary

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Apr 10 - 11:05 AM

LOL. Cane. I had my cane in church.

I'm grumpy today, frustrated mostly in that my house is a disaster area (it's mud season and I have 2 big dogs in and out)and am uncomfortable enough to not be able to do much. So, I am doing little bits at a time.

I spent yesterday in my recliner, in and out of a percoset haze. I had wanted to spend part of the day outside as it was BEAUTIFUL. Instead, I dozed in front of the sliding glass door and enjoyed the fresh air. :)

I really need to go grocery shopping but have decided to stay local and get what we REALLY need....not shopping for the week today....maybe by Wednesday I'll have the oomph to do it. No big deal.

My to do list is calling.

Enjoy this spring day!!!!!!

Much love,

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Apr 10 - 01:04 AM

Enjoy the spring day, let the to-do list wait a little longer. Relax and get through this stage after the treatment.

SRS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Apr 10 - 07:57 AM

Give those big wet dogs a snuggly hug and be glad you are alive to hug them. Don't they smell wonderful on a damp day?
SINS, who loves her Seamus.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Apr 10 - 08:22 AM

lots if good reports to come back to after my week away

sandra

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 06 Apr 10 - 08:30 AM

Hope you're feeling better today Michelle.

I had cancer of the womb a few years back - didn't know that I had that either, except that I was getting a discharge that I put down to thrush, which I had had before and so just phoned in a request for meds from my doctor. When the second lot of medication didn't work she called me in for an examination and sent me to the gynaecological unit at the local hospital. Three months later I was in and have a total hysterectomy, early enough that I didn't have to have radiation or chemo.

I do wish that there was more publicity of the warning signs of a lot of these cancers. I am just so glad that they found yours in time to do something about it.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 06 Apr 10 - 05:50 PM

Thanks for sharing that Jacqui and thanks to everyone for helping to keep my spirits lifted.

I got to see a graph of my platelet count today and over the last 9 weeks, it looks like a kid taking a nose dive off the high diving board and frankly I'm kind of concerned.

I talked to my Dr. about it last week and he said it was still within ok limits. The thing is, the trend has been very downward and I am concerned about where this is headed. He told me that if it went down more, I'd have to put my treatments off for a week or maybe a transfusion. I did some reading (which my husband had scolded me for) and found that low platelets mean low clotting ability. When the counts get too low, they also put you either in the hospital or on total bedrest so you don't bump yourself and bleed to death. Nice.

I also read that 50% of women with ovarian cancer have a relapse. It did not say what stage the first round of ovarian cancer was but it concerns me greatly.

Add to that that I can't remember stuff....chemo fog they call it...so I don't feel like I'm doing much that is right lately.

My next few days are when my immune system is down and I need to just stay home and not see anyone so I almost feel like I'm in hiding.

It's not been a good day for me.

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: GUEST,Wys cookie broken
Date: 06 Apr 10 - 08:16 PM

LF this is exactly that time to read the Psalms and watch that DVD I lent you. Rest in His arms, etc. He'll bring you through it and back up to cheery days, too, in due time. Just ride it in His arms.

~Susan

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 07:57 AM

Well, you may not be able to see people but that means more time to spend visiting on here.

The fact that women now are recovering from ovarian cancer (which, from what I understand, used almost to be an automatic death sentence) long enough to have a relapse is an improvement and, in the meantime, and with the strides being made in treatment, gives hope that, at some point, this may be something that can be eradicated totally.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 08:16 AM

Besides, 50% DON'T have a relapse. Why can't you be part of that 50%?
You are halfway home from the chemo. There is a beautiful baby in your near future. Hang in there, Lily.
Reading info on the web can be empowering but it can also be very misleading. Use the information wisely and if it is affecting your emotional stability, leave off for a bit.
I do puzzles and cryptograms on free sites to keep my mind functioning and sometimes make the time pass. If you can, try it.
And if you need to just sit back and feel miserable, it is OK. You have earned the privilege.
Mary

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 08:31 AM

Well, looks as if the chemo is doing what it's supposed to do, Michelle... I mean, if it wasn't having this effect on the good stuff in your body then it most certainly wouldn't be going after the bad stuff, as well... This is the worst part... It's kinda like being in a small plane and doing a dive... But the doctors ain't gonna let you crash... They will pull back on the yoke when they have to and treat you and get you thru the sc arey parts...

As you know, I lost my late wife to cancer but she had a rare form of inflmatory cancer that has a less than 5% survivor rate... Compared to what you are going thru and how you are holding up I want you to know that you are doing great... I won't go into the stuff that the chemo did to Judy but just believe me that you should thank yer lucky stars for doing so well... Really!!!

Yeah, they never quite get around to telling you just how chemo really works... Just know that you are doing fine with it... They'll get you thru this part and then you'll be in the home strectch... In no time at all your hair will be all grown back and this will be just a distant memory...

B~

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 10:34 AM

Holding you (gently) in love, my dear!

Allison

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 12:29 PM

That holing up and not seeing anyone is a good sign you are taking the best of care with yourself which is exactly what your body needs, honey. It is when we can stop, give up and let go for a bit, that your god can do its best work because you are being quiet and relaxing..opening to all healing. Your husband and Sins are right...give the research on the net, etc. a pass for a while. When we are ill, it is best to keep as much positive stuff in our heads as possible. Remember the glass is half-full, not half empty.:-)

luvyakat

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 09:09 PM

15 months later, I've still not looked for info on the cancerous thingy that was removed before I even knew it was a cancer.

something silly - for Michelle

sending more hugs

sandra

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 10:17 PM

LOL! That's fun!!!!!

I spent most of the day in bed....not tired enough to sleep but too tired to do anything except read, so that's what I did.
That and cry. I'm just having a day.

I talked to my nurse oncologist about the platelet issue and my drop is due to the carboplatin, it's
expected and there's nothing to do about it. The local Dr. called to tell me that my thyroid is WAY low so there's going
to be another medication change and they are also adding vitamin D in a mega doseage as I'm pretty low in that too.

The nurse reminded me that I'm also just entering the time when the immune system drops so she told me to
expect to be exhausted and to try and prioritze better.

My plan for tomorrow is another day alone, hopefully making some much needed changes in our bedroom.....
I have a range of sizes of clothing in my closet and some of those need new homes. The clothes are just too big and I know
others who can use them....imagine the free closet space!!!! A dream come true!

Ok, in the vien of keeping this real....I took 10mg ambien about 15 minutes ag0 and my ability to type is
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Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 11:35 PM

Sorry guys. Apparently I fell asleep with my laptop.
no worries. I'm safely in bed.....this stuff makes me feel drunk.

Night all.

Michelel

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 02:40 AM

I've been known to drop off while typing - once at work I woke with my finger on a key & had to delete a gi-normous number of lines!

oops

sandra

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 07:49 AM

Good Morning,

    Here's to a day of looking for and staying focused on the positive.

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 08:59 AM

Good morning.
Low thyroid equals memory problems, lack of motivation, generally foggy mental attitude. It sucks. But as long as you know it's happening you also know it can be remedied.
I love Ambien...but no one will give me any.
whine
SINS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 10:38 AM

Hey Sins,

They upped my Ambien to 10mg with a note that if it doesn't work in the first hour to take another one!!!!!! My pharmacist gave me the hairy eyeball and said she didn't know if the insurance company would approve more than one pill a day at that high of a dose and she was right! I'm not needing more than that anyway....one is enough!!!!!! Also...I don't need it everynight...maybe 4 or 5 times a month at the most. The higher dose works GREAT....as you can tell from my post above....I'll be sitting in my chair or at the table and next thing I'm out.

    I had a burst of energy this morning, so I did some dishes, swept the entire downstairs, mopped the bathroom, kitchen, dining room and hall and I might actually get some dusting done before the day is over. I'm also going grocery shopping. Seems odd to be happy to sweep, mop and dust....but I really am. It makes me feel good to have the oomph to do normal stuff. And of course, then I cry. *shaking my head* Yep. I'm just not right. And this morning, while I was sitting in bed, I looked over at a long mirror that is nearby and I decided something. For weeks I've been telling my mom and husband that I look like an alien. I tried on sunglasses at Walmart the other day and the larger ones made me look like a fly (no hair and giant eyes). This morning, however, I decided that I have morphed from the alien into the classic horror movie guy.....a big, lumbering, bald, albino man.....the one that all the children are afraid of but really, he's just a creeping looking misunderstood character. Yep. That about sums it up. Mom suggested I try my wig for awhile or a cap but it's too hot for that. So today I think I'll one of the baseball caps I have....I have a moss green one, a chocolate brown one and just the other day I received a GREAT package from the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition with a large canvas bag, socks with the teal ribbon on them (teal is for ovarian cancer), a notepad, a relaxation CD, literature, a water bottle, a really beautiful purple lap blanket and a hat with their symbol on the front and I believe it says Survivor on the back...maybe I'll try that hat today. I guess I'm just not in the mood to put up with being stared at on some days and these last few days find me to be particularly irritable. So, I'll give the hat a try or perhaps I'll punch someone in the face for staring a bit too long or reach out and help myself to a handful of their hair so they can join my club. *GRIN* You have NO idea how good that would feel...at least for the moment!

I hate to admit it but the thought of really being able to do that makes me smile.

Michelle

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 11:54 AM

It makes me feel good to have the oomph to do normal stuff. And of course, then I cry. *shaking my head* Yep. I'm just not right.

ACTUALLY THAT MIGHT BE just RIGHT. tHE POSITIVE 9sorry capslock) stuff


The positive stuff provides contradiction to the negative slumpy stuff, and discharge results (that's the tears).

Remember, the tears are not the hurt. They are the healing FROM the hurt.

That said, you have to remember to balance the tears-time with attention-on-present-time stuff, take vitamins and drink water-- or you lose too much vitamin C. And sleep is part of that cycle-- a good part.

Don't forget to mind the sugars-- remember the emotional roller-coaster is affected by those, for you, too, based on past experience?


Anyhoo-- Ride 'em, cowboy. Yee Hah! :~)

And don't forget on immune-careful days you have two stuffy cootiesniffers!

~Susan

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 01:16 PM

Just checking in to tell you I'm here on the rollercoaster with you!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 09:11 PM

My low immune days are yesterday, today and tomorrow. I went out today anyway. I also went to yoga. Screw it. I had energy and so I went out and enjoyed the day.

Michelle

PS. Allison, hang on sister...this rollercoaster is one of the old wooden ones that jerks so much you'll have whiplash in no time! (((HUGS))) and btw, Mom and I listened to your CD on our 2 hour drive...both of us singing along!

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: LilyFestre
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 10:40 PM

I hate when people ask me how I am and all I can do is cry. It's embarrassing.

I went to yoga tonight, it was a very gentle class. I rolled out my mat in the back and listened to the rain and thunder during the class….it was really, really nice. I felt tears before we even moved our blanket off to the side…..I miss my yoga SO MUCH.   I was able to do most of the practice with the exception of a twist to the right and bridge. Both were pulling on my port….particularly the twist. I think I must have tugged it pretty hard as it now is fairly sore. When I got home, I put an ice pack on it and am hoping I didn't dislodge anything. It would SUCK SO FREAKIN' MUCH if I had to have that procedure done again. ARG.

Anyway, the class was introspective and I probably could have hung out in turtle for a long time. I cried all the way home. I miss my practice. I miss going to class more often. I'm frustrated in with what my body can't do for now. I'm going to try to go more often. I can't stress how much I've missed going.

Coming home the peepers were really loud and there were hoppy toads all over the road….must have passed about 20 of them or so.   One sat just in front of where I parked in the driveway. I left the headlights on and went over to him and squatted down to get a closer look and he hopped towards me to get a closer look too!!! That made me smile.

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 01:01 AM

Michelle, don't cry! And you gave me a great laugh right now! That
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was just so damned funny! :)

I usually delete stuff like that before I send, but you were clearly one tired puppy.

Take care, get through tomorrow.

SRS

Subject: RE: LilyFestre - Half-way point with chemo! Yippee!
From: maeve
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 06:51 AM

Michelle, about the crying- I don't like to cry in front of others either, but it seems to go with the territory. Tears are honest at least, and appropriate to the reality you're living in. If nothing else, you and those who care about you will readily see the change as you feel better inside and out and don't need the tears in the same way. I'm glad you CAN cry.

maeve