BS: Kendall's latest physical

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Jeri
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 08:31 PM

Spaw, I'd be lookin' for a sledge hammer!

Kendall, as long as you're still breathing, you didn't fail the test!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 08:34 PM

Hey, when I'm a 100 like the Capt'n and they tell me that I'm only 45% used up I reckon that means that Mosses better look out 'cause his record might be in jeopardy...

B:~)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 09:58 PM

Kendall.....Try not to dwell on this crap! My lung capacity is lower than yours. I have a dissected aorta from the arch to the femoral and it has TWO, yes TWO, aneurysms along that run. Four years ago my ejection fraction was 22 but it has improved(yea!!!) to 35 but that still is way below normal.....about 20 points.   I have two ulcers which bleed at times and thanks to numerous lengthy hospitalizations I have several problems related to them such as a low immunity in a few areas and a predisposition towards C-Dif. And like you I have bouts of Diverticular disease. There are a few other things as well like PAD which are simply annoying.

AND IF my body wasn't in such a bad shape with all of this maybe I could have a surgery or two to fix some things. You know there are repairs for aneurysms and/or in my case an aortic replacement. But the heart and lungs wouldn't make it through the surgery......and I ain't Dick Cheney.

If I sit and think about it or read my medical file I would be a bedridden, wheelchair using, just waitin' to die, motherfucker. I'm not. I have some really bad days and a few great days with the bell curve working to its truist effect. Looking back at what I can no longer do or will never do again just is plain fucked up!!! Don't do it! Do what you can and ENJOY whatever to hell that is and relax.

My cardiologist continues to tell me I should be dead and one day he'll be right. Til then, I'm just movin' on down the road........and diggin' it.



Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 10:04 PM

Well, Spawzer... Tell yer doc that this ol' hillbilly he's on his way out, too... Until then??? Like my dad used to say, "Turn the radio up..."...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 10:25 PM

You guys are planning on checking out? Not me! I've been told where I'm gonna end up and from the description I ain't gonna make the trip! Nossir! Sounds like LA or New York or something. Nope, I ain't gonna go. If you decide not to go either we could sit around, drink beer, and tell dirty jokes.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Apr 12 - 11:11 PM

"I choose to let the mystery be..."

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: GUEST,KENDALL
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 08:30 AM

Spaw, I'm not dwelling on this stuff, just commenting on the obvious.
I remember my dear friend, Sandy Paton, always hooked up to an oxygen tank, and my Father who couldn't walk across the room without resting.

Raparee, I did ask the nurse if it was a boy or a girl and she said, "It's twins."
I said, "Damn! I went out with a telephone operator and she reversed the charge on me."
That made her day.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Becca72
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 09:34 AM

Spaw - thank you for the perspective. Someone ought to send you some lobster

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 09:52 AM

What Becca said...

Ya' see, Capt'n... Yer in great shape fir the shape yer in...

B:~)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: jacqui.c
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 10:38 AM

And right now he's in the yard fixing up the lawn trailer that gave up the ghost a while back. In spite of his health issues he's still doing pretty well for an old fart. He's certainly a lot fitter than most of the 77 year olds I know.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 11:15 AM

SIGH
DO I really have to be the one to comment on Spaw's ejection fraction?
Somebody help me out here.

Glad you're still breathing, Captain.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: kendall
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 08:26 PM

Jacqui, how many 77 year olds do you know?

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 08:32 PM

If you get smart with her like that, I'd say she won't know any soon....................


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 12 - 11:46 PM

Spaw was a miserable failure in grade school and as a result has never learned to eject in fractions. Each of his swimmers is one over one, a perfect whole, designed to produce a perfect hole. They don't always get where they need to go but he keeps on hoping to substitute quantity for accuracy.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 01:42 AM

Spawdarlin', I hope that when you do fulfill Gargoyle's dream (may it never happen!) you will continue, from wherever, to fling those bon mots!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 08:15 AM

Charles Manson is 77 years old and he looks like hell.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Becca72
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 08:28 AM

Spaw,
That reminds me of a conversation I had with my mother when I was around 16. She said "I'm not playing dumb" to which I replied "Oh, I KNOW you're not playing!"

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 08:31 AM

That's my girl.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 11:36 AM

I remember 77---ah, the joys of relative youth.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Amos
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 12:17 PM

You guys make me feel so young!! :D
Spring to be sprung!
Freud to be Jung!
SOngs to be sung!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 12:21 PM

The "Freud to be Jung" is pushin' it Amos......Well Done!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: gnu
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 05:40 PM

Well done is rare.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Greg B
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 08:48 PM

I'm going back to well done, well done, well done

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Apr 12 - 09:15 PM

Well, never mind this Jung Freudian stuff 'cause it all comes down to toilet training and poli-morphris-perverse-guilt issues...

Hey, look, Capt'n... Doc says yer 45% used up and 77??? Well, Wes Ginny Slide Rule has good news and bad news... And they are the same... YAer going to live to be 145 years old... Get over it...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 07:13 AM

When I get to where I can't yank the transmission out of the old car, then I'll really complain.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 07:41 AM

Would you say that you still yank your crank as well?


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: jacqui.c
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 03:07 PM

Spaw - why would HE want to do that? :0)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 03:23 PM

I am jealous. >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 05:00 PM

Why? Do you want Kendall to yank your crank?


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 12 - 05:55 PM

I don't sail in that kinda ship.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: DougR
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 03:33 PM

Be that is it may, friend Kendall, you'll always have the Llamas.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Apr 12 - 11:12 PM

Hi Doug! It seems Kendall is yanking cranks and you have dropped by just in time! Gnu doesn't seem all that interested but I fear he has confused sailing with the traditional knob polish. They also say that Kendall's llama's knobs have a high degree of shine!!!!

Always good to see you though!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: stallion
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 03:54 AM

Hu Kendal, most things are possible, when are you going to be in the vicinity of Ben Nevis, I have a wish list with Ben Nevis and Scafell Pike on it but even though I am a mere puppy it seems a long way off. However I do have a lot of friends North o the borrrrderrrr and some might be mad enough to drag you up! Jaq will you be around for the York festival in June?
regards
Pete

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: kendall
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 04:23 AM

It's after 4 am here and Jacqui is asleep. She has our itinerary.

We will be getting as far north as Hadrian's Wall but that's about it.
We would like to meet up with you at some point.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: stallion
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 06:27 AM

'twould be good, Ron has a second home in the lakes so we go quite often, look forward to seeing you Cap'n

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 07:41 AM

Kendall, Hadrian built that wall to keep the wild, savage, Picts and Scots OUT, not to keep civilized folks like you IN. You'll be risking your life, the universe, and everything but you CAN go beyond the wall. You might want a military escort, but you can.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:21 AM

He don't need no military escort - he's got ME!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 12:34 PM

And Jacqui will get Kendall's aging, rapidly detereriorating, cardio-pulmonary challenged, pathetic excuse for a body, to the other side of Hadrian's Wall so he can polish the knobs of Irish llamas who are expecting his arrival.

They can then proceed to China and cross the Great Wall and on to Lhasa to polish the knob of the Dalai Lama who is not.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 01:06 PM

The Dalai Lama has not been in Lhasa since 1947.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 01:22 PM

LOL.......Imagine Kendall's surprise when he gets there! So then the DL moved where he could more easily get a knob polish on a regular basis? I was trying to work in something with a wall to get the llama/lama expectation joke in and Lhasa fit right in there!

Lat thing I remember reading about the DL was him saying something to the effect that his replacement might be a her. Hey! Are you the new DL Sins? If so then Kendall is SOL.......


Spaw....I'll be down here....got a canary? The air quality is pretty low.....

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: kendall
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 02:36 PM

So is your humor.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 02:40 PM

Yeah......I have to reach up through this grate to reach the gutter........I mean, I don't really care or anything but I do like to sociable...........


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 02:49 PM

At least you know your expertise with lowest common denominators will always find an audience! :D


A

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 03:15 PM

I'll have you know there is absolutely nothing common about my denominators. They are all quite strange and vary in degrees from Stupid-ass Shitkicker to Bumfucked Asshole!!! They are all, however, after the same thing in their lives......a proper knob polishing. This is why they are all here on this thread.........




Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 01:48 PM

My Doctor's assistant called today to tell me that I have some "Atypical cells" in my urine. I don't like the sound of that.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 01:49 PM

You think urine trouble? I sure hope not.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:06 PM

Hmmmm... why would an assistant call and say that? No explanation. Not even any, "Here's what we're gonna do?"

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:44 PM

.............****sigh*****......................It means you need more testing to find out why. From urinary tract infections to bladder cancer, could be a lot of things in between.

I'm done here................



Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: annamill
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:28 PM

Hi! Ya know, I haven't been here in a very long time and I am amazed at how absolutely nothing has changed! This is a compliment BTW. All the same people I loved and had fun with way beck when. Kat, Spaw, Kendall, Jacqui, gnu, Sinsull, Amos, DougR, Dick G., Bobert, and others... I miss you guys.

I gave up smoking back when my son was 7 yrs old. He's now 34. It was food on the table or cigs in my pocket. That's when they only cost $1.00 a pack. LOL! I started when they were .25 cents a pack.

I have trouble breathing when I run or walk to fast or walk up a hill or the stairs, otherwise not to bad. My doc says I might have a touch of emphazema but not to worry.

It's good to read you all again. Now, I'm going to go read some more. LOL!

Love, Annamill

Subject: RE: BS: Kendall's latest physical
From: jacqui.c
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:52 PM

OK - Kendall now slapped round back of the head and sent to the cellar. I guess from now on I won't find out about these things from the Mudcat. In his defence I've been out for a good part of the day so wasn't around when the call came through.

He says it has happened before - no big deal and I guess they will just do a follow up to check things out. (When I let him out of the cellar!)