BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Charley Noble
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 08:44 AM

Oh, the night was clear and the band was mooning,
And the police crept up so quiet on the sly...

Maybe it's time to blast open a Mason Jar of White Lightning!

Anyone got a fiddle and know how to lead "Soldier's Joy"?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 08:57 AM

Hot damn! White Lightnin'! Gimme a Purple Jesus, barkeep, an' don't spare the Everclear!

He was dirty and hairy and covered with fleas
But he had his wimmin by twos and threes....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 09:00 AM

I need a plate of ginger and some coffee - and If I don't get it soon I'm gonna sing the Unicorn song.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: ranger1
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 01:05 PM

Jaysus! Someone give him what he wants, QUICK!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: GUEST,SINS
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 01:06 PM

Oh please NOOOOOO. I stopped at Libby's Candies on the way over and picked up chocolate and ginger while having my photo taken with Lenny the Chocolate Moose - yes, Liz. A life-size moose made of pure chocolate. Pictures to follow.

Now put down that lute MMario and step away from the microphone.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 01:08 PM

Yeah, and if you don't we'll cover you with LtS. And keep your hands where we can't see 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 01:45 PM

too late!

There was a knight, a lusty knight, a randy knight was he
He had eleven mistresses and bastards thirty three.
He indulged in every excess, in each licentious whim
So just imagine his surprsise
when unicorn chose him.!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 02:14 PM

A long time ago when the trees were green
There were more spots for makin' out than you've ever seen!
We'd snuggle up close, maybe drink a little corn,
Out there behind Uncle Abner's barn.

Oh there was Brandi and Lisa, and Carol and Lou,
Mary and Jeri -- to name just a few,
Stella and Tammy were wild girls too,
But the best of the bunch was the one called "Pooh."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 02:16 PM

Das Einhorn Leider, gott in himmel!!
I'll have a quick Schnapps then please barman, washed down with a large Milk of Amnesia.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 03:12 PM

I'm still ready to cover Mmario here... and after that I'm ready for the chocolate moose.. reckon I can have him nibbled down to a groundhog by July.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 04:06 PM

Ja, ja, ich bein ein Einhorn.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: beardedbruce
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 04:33 PM

Well, I guess I can bring in more ginger....


But is everyone here type A+? I did not realize we were such a large part of the population...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 05:43 PM

Nope B Rhesus positive, I'll have an armful thanks.
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: JennyO
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 12:19 AM

I'm A+ - and I'm quite positive about that.

Oh goodie - more ginger! If you don't mind filling up this here bucket..... Thankyou. Some dark chocolate would be nice too.

Behold the white unicorn, striking a pose.
He treads upon rainbows and smells like a rose.
He hides out in places that nobody mentions,
Found only by those with the truest intentions.

He lives where the mermaids sit combing their locks.
He hangs out with centaurs and large purple rocs.
He hobnobs with goblins and polkadot gryphons,
With ethical lawyers and clean politicians.

But most people think he's a legend, it seems:
An empty extension of childhood dreams.
But I see a lot of this "mythical" beast.
I must see him ten times a day at the least.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 12:30 AM

I guess I need to bring in " The mountaineers have shaggy ears"....


ok, so one 10'x10'x20' shipping container of crystalized ginger should last what, about a day? That would be... 80,000 pounds, or 40 tons.

Where is that unaudited credit card?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:13 AM

I'm a '1 in 7'... O - (Rhesus negative).... that's me. Bloody awkward all me life!

Bring on the margheuritas Barkeep - my Slush has run out of Puppy!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: MBSLynne
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:19 AM

Universal donor me...O+

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:19 AM

I'd heard that about you Lynne ¦¬]
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 07:43 AM

A+ More ginger please!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 08:46 AM

Anyone Else hear something down in the cellar?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 08:55 AM

If it sounds like chains being dragged over the beer kegs, I'm outa here.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: MBSLynne
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 09:06 AM

Yes....I hear it...there's definitely..some..thing....there.....
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh h   h   h........

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 10:35 AM

Kendall! You didn't have permission to come up from the cellar! Back I tell you, back!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Leadfingers
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 10:43 AM

Oh Come on Jacqui - He hasnt even brought the banjo with him !!!














Here , Kendall , I've got my spare !!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 12:13 PM

UH OH He looks pissed or should I say pissed on? Did Alice do that?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:16 PM

(checking to see that only adults are present...)

OK, here it is. I found this in my vast ( half-vast?) collection of reference and science fiction...


Original:

The mountaineers have hairy ears,
They go without their britches,
They pop their cocks with jagged rocks,
They're hardy sons of bitches.

They screw the whores right through their drawers,
They do not care for trifles-
They hang their balls upon the walls
And shoot at them with rifles.

Much joy they reap by didling sheep
In divers nooks and ditches.
Nor give they a damn if it be a ram-
They're hardy sons of bitches.


Variations are "The Engineers have..." , "The Canoneers have...", and the sci-fi "The Rocketeers have..."

There is supposed to be another verse. Anybody know it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 08:47 PM

gee, have I killed this thread?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 08:56 PM

Just catching my breath, BB. Now, about those Rocketeers...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 08:59 PM

Yes?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:15 PM

SINS just wants to know if they have banjos.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:20 PM

The rocketeers are in a circa 1950 story by Keith Bennett. No banjos, I am afraid...

All of the song that is printed is

"The Rocketeers have shaggy ears,
They're dirty-"

I suppose we could make a new verse with the banjos in it....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 03:26 AM

Oh let's not and just say we did!

How's them margheuritas coming? And we ain't talking daisies here!

Does anyone else fancy some fruit? I've got a hankering after cherries and I still have Berts' Card here... although it's starting to fray at the edges and his scrawling signature has nearly been rubbed off.... I think that last swipe on Ebay did it... well it was a Porsche for 50pence....

Seems a DJ was interviewing a "glamour" model and said on air that he'd leave his wife and kids for her. His wife was listening and immediately put his £15,000 Porsche up for sale on Ebay, and used the 'Buy now for 50p' option with the message 'Must sell in the next couple of hours before my husband comes home and finds his belongings out on the street'....

Cool woman.. she deserves a drink here!

LTS

Oh, and it wasn't the first time - he'd made some comment about leaving her on air whilst she was pregnant with his child too.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Micca
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 03:35 AM

Beasrdedbruce, would this Help?

Those banjoists have good strong wrists
Could it be they've been f***ing?
No! They sit 'round upon the ground
They instruments a plucking

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: beardedbruce
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 03:44 AM

"Those banjoists have good strong wrists,
Is it from finger f**king?
They sit around upon the ground
Their instruments a plucking."


Minor changes to improve the sense (IMO)... Now, what about other instruments?

"The Mudcatteers have shaggy ears....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 05:12 AM

The good strong wrists
Of Banjoists
Comes not from merchant banking
If you've the mind,
You'll surely find,
they come from solo **nking!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Leadfingers
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 06:11 AM

I think I will stay out of this converation !!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 08:07 AM

Probably best Lead..... just pour yourself a cool refreshing drink and go join the gang in the corner... they're just warming up the session.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 11:56 PM

It could have been accordians. What rhymes with "accordians?"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 03:50 PM

a bawdy 'un.

That's it really.....

I just stick with calling them 'instruments of the devil' and have done with it!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Jun 05 - 01:12 PM

a Gordian, as in Gordian Knot.
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Jun 05 - 05:10 PM

Anyone got a shoulder I can borrow? Need a hug and drinkie doos.... someone isn't playing nice and it's not bloody MG!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 12:09 AM

LTS,

Just let me put down this box of ginger...


Ok. Here is the hug... (((((hug)))))

What are you drinking?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 02:48 AM

any bloody thing!

Sorry, it's the old trouble... do not respond... do not respond.....

Bugger. I responded.

Why do people pick on me? I opened up this lovely sparkly tavern for them, I entertain them with stories of cat farts, I'm truthful and someone says I'm funny.... but still people pick on me and not just for my fat arse!!!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 02:57 AM

have some ginger tea....

spring water, brought to a rolling boil, and an ounce of crystalized ginger steeped for 15 minutes.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 03:07 AM

will it make me burp?








What am I saying... even a glass of water will make me burp!

Thanks BeardedBruce.... but next time can you take the pens out of your top pocket please? I now have a red biro stuck in my ear and you don't want to know where your propelling pencil has gone.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 03:09 AM

8-{E

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 03:52 AM

Well I've just come back from a trip to the west coast [of Scotland where else?] This included a trip to Skye where it rained hard and heavy for the whole day, so to console myself I went for a guide tour round the Talisker distillery. Unfortunately the dram they gave us to try the nectar was too small, so barkeep please pour me a very large Talisker with a drop of Skye rain in it at room temperature, just to bring out the flavour.
Slainthe
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 03:54 AM

I expect El Ted
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 03:55 AM

Or Leadfingers will be here soon
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern Nouveau
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 03:55 AM

Will be here soon, pour them a consolatory drink.
G..