BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation

Subject: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Rasener
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 05:00 PM

Well this is a good en. Just copied and pasted from BBC News

Fire crew aid in penis operation
Firefighters helped operate on a man who was rushed to hospital after getting a metal ring stuck on the end of his penis.
Doctors at Royal Wigan Infirmary in Greater Manchester put out the alert after fearing the man faced amputation as the ring cut off his blood supply.

Two firefighters used a mini hand grinder to cut through the ring during a 20-minute procedure.

It is understood the man, aged in his 40s, was given an anaesthetic.

The firefighters placed a thin sheet of metal around his penis to protect the skin while removing the ring, which appeared to have been cut off from the end of a pipe.

Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service confirmed fire crews were called to the hospital at around 12.10 GMT on Thursday to "deal with a situation".

A spokeswoman for Royal Wigan Infirmary said they were unable to comment about the incident.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Mo the caller
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 05:06 PM

Well I get lots of emails offering to enlarge something I haven't got, but this bloke needed antiviagra.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 05:28 PM

I've heard of this sort of thing before. It's not the most intelligent thing for some man to do. There are even pictures of x-rays on the Web, if you want to look for them.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Peace
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 05:33 PM

Talk about yer lord of the rings . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: skipy
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 05:37 PM

It is understood the man, aged in his 40s, was given an anaesthetic.

I'd need 3 gallons of beer!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Jeri
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 05:40 PM

Gives new meaning to the term 'laying pipe'. Well, it's the old meaning, just more literal.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Peace
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 05:49 PM

LOL, Jeri.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Wesley S
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 05:53 PM

Three gallons of beer with your pisser in a state of disrepair?? No way - It sounds like a disaster plan to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: skipy
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 06:03 PM

Fair comment Wesley! Have you seen the film Coligula?
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 06:23 PM

That would be Caligula.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 06:28 PM

It could also have been the unkindest cut of all.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 06:33 PM

30 years ago, I worked briefly in an adult bookstore...we sold things like this. No doubt he was too cheap to buy the real thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 07:21 PM

The guy should have called Angle-Grinder Man!

Anyone who can cut a parking enforcement boot from a car in a minute or so can cut a little ol' piece of pipe from some idiot's dick in a flash.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: vectis
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 07:53 PM

ROTFLMAO

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 07:56 PM

I have it on good authority that Anglegrinder Man suffers from palsy and bad eyesight.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: bobad
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 08:02 PM

A friend of mine, when she was a student nurse working in the ER, one evening had a patient show up with a wedding ring stuck past the point of no return on his penis. The ER doc glibly commented "wrong finger eh" before cutting it (the ring, not the penis) off.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 08:10 PM

A wedding ring? Geeziz, the guy must have had monstrous fingers.......or he was a real needle dick!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Peace
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 08:13 PM

You be the judge, Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 09:20 PM

"mini hand grinder"?

Why didn't they use a Sawzall? Or explosives, if what he wanted was a really big bang!

I wonder how many people who read this story will now feel inclined to experiment with alternative orifice. More or less?

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 09:46 PM

G'day all,

It strikes me that the medical equipment in the Royal Wigan Infirmary is a bit behind the times.

Back in the 1960s, when I lived in tiny Hobart (about as far south as the 'civilised world' goes ... at least in the Pacific regions) a friend work as instrument technician for the Royal Hobart Hospital. He was telling me that he had to 'scrub up' and 'gown up' to do a surgical similar removal for the operating theatre doctors ... althought this was just from a finger ... not ... !

The point of the story is that the 'surgical grinder' used the same principle as various bone drills and saws: the cutting surface did not 'spin' - but oscillated over a very short distance. This meant that the blade would act on the immovable metal part ... but the adjacent flesh would move with the blade - and not be cut.

I'm glad to say that I don't have any 'first-hand' experience of the procedure ... but it strikes me that, just on forty years back, little Royal Hobart was well in advance of the Royal Wigan Infirmary!

Regard(les)s,

Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 10:02 PM

What? Was he so full of viagra, he couldn't just let it go limp and slide off? I'm having a hard (no pun intended!) time seeing anything staying on a limp dick!

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: EBarnacle
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 10:30 PM

Kat,
It all depends on the calibre of the weapon!

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 10:45 PM

You should hear EMTs and emergency room nurses talk about the results of vacuum cleaners! It sounds hilarious, but the results can be hideous.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Dave Swan
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 02:08 AM

then the doctor says "You're gonna die"


another joke...sorry...

D

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Rasener
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 03:26 AM

>>one evening had a patient show up with a wedding ring stuck past the point of no return on his penis<<

Maybe his missus was meant to do a suck job on the ring.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 04:16 AM

It doesn't stipulate the variety of pipe. If it were a thin, copper piping then the usual equipment available in a hospital would have sufficed.

If it were a more ... industrial size pipe then robust cutting equipment would have been necessary.

As for going limp - it would probably swell up with the constriction of the blood vessels.

It never fails to astound me, the amount of strange and perverse inanimate objects people are willing and eager to put their private parts into, withouth the least thought of potential consequences.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 05:14 AM

On an allied matter, a girlfriend of mine (many years ago !) was a nurse in Casualty, which was the forerunner of A & E.

Some geezer came in one night with a cucumber up his arsehole - the full business, apparently.

I never did get to hear how, or if, it was removed.

Bryn Pugh

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Megan L
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 05:23 AM

LIZ get back tae work

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: David C. Carter
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 06:25 AM

The French expression"Tailleur Une Pipe" is the act of Fellatio!
Perhaps he should have called a female plombiere.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 06:31 AM

In ancient Greece, if a man caught someone having sex with his wife, he could apply the customary punishment of shoving a radish up his arse. This was considered quaint by the Victorians- they were thinking of the little red salad radishes. Sadly for Greek adulterers, their radishes were about 10 inches long and 2 inches diameter, and quite probably fatal.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: gnu
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 06:46 AM

Going for the brass ring?

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Greg B
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:26 PM

A friend of mine worked in an ER in the SF Bay area.

One night, a fellow come in with a vibrator lodged so far
up his backside that he'd lost his grip on it and the thing
had gotten stuck, indeed, pretty much disappeared.

It was turned on.

As a succession of doctors, nurses, and techs came in to
examine the situation and offer advice, they'd part the
fellows, um, 'cheeks' whereupon the sound of the machine
would alter thusly: mmmmmMMMMMMMMMWAHHHHHHHHHHmmmmmm

Whereupon everyone within earshot who knew what was going
on would split their sides trying to control incurable cases of
the giggles.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Peace
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:31 PM

Never stick anything in your ear smaller than your elbow.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: TheSnail
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:40 PM

There has to be a song in this. Royal Wigan Infirmary Blues.

"I am a young plumber who never did wrong."

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Peace
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:53 PM

I am a young plumber who never did wrong
Hear me out boys, raise a glass
Remember the plunger is meant for the bowl
And not for the crack in your ass.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 05:07 PM

There was a middle aged man from Manchester,
Whose tool began so to fester;
So he slipped on a ring,
But it jammed, the damn thing,
Next time he'll try a sou'wester.

Well, that verse makes about as much sense as what that gentleman did.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: bankley
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 10:21 AM

maybe he was hoping that the 'jaws of life' would be applied...

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: bobad
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 11:14 AM

Preferably not these jaws.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: bankley
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 04:19 PM

what in hell is that bobad ? one of those tiny Amazon fish that swims upstream ?

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: bobad
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 04:24 PM

Read about it here: If the First Bite Doesn't Do It, the Second One Will

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: bankley
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 08:04 AM

interesting.... no plans to swim nude in the reef anytime soon..

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 10:48 AM

"The pharyngeal jaws look really wicked," she said.
AShe must be a Mainer.

I know I am going to regret admitting to this but I honestly do not understand the contraption that BillD posted. Can I get a Scientific explanation of who, what, why, where and when. And no - I do not want first hand experiences detailed.

HEH HEH - I am picturing BillD working in a porno shop, autoharp at his side.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Charley Noble
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 01:40 PM

The next came in was a firefighter,
And there was no one brighter;
Yes, there was no one brighter,
For to join in the jovial crew;
And he hauled out his nozzle with all his might,
And it was a totally awesome sight,
And the landlady's daughter squealed in delight –
When Jones' ale was new, me boys,
When Jones' ale was new!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: GUEST,Ex
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 02:41 PM

Just one of the many rescue jobs the fire fighter do, it's not all fighting fires, believe me I was married to one, he often came home with the tales, of which many I could tell, but hey what the heck it's life, well some peoples anyway !!!

But dont these guys do a fantastic job, what ever it may be. I hold them (excuse the pun) in the highest degree.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Art Thieme
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 08:30 PM

There is a BROKEN TOKEN song lurking in all of this!

Qrt

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 08:53 PM

SINSULL..supposedly, if one gets INTO one of those things while ummmm..not too excited...it is easier to maintain an erection after 'expanding' into the rings.(blood supply is trapped..etc) This allows (I gather) all sorts of play other than plain 'ol dull coitus..*grin*...(I have seen some with leashes attached...use your imagination).
There were also single rings and a couple of gadgets I'm not sure how they were supposed to work.

(Yeah...it was an interesting couple of years, but I only took my autoharp in once or twice....some weird customers were looking at it with appraising glances)(but the women I worked for were VERY bright, aware folks who didn't mind folk music at all)

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 09:02 PM

SEE! Leashes...
and the 3rd link in Google
http://www.stockroom.com/The-7-Gates-of-Hell-P344.aspx (you gotta copy & paste if you NEED to see a more explicit pic) says "This device, named in keeping with long standing tradition, is used for male constraint and adornment."....so it is more a psychological toy than a useful one.

We actually didn't sell many...there were 'specialty shops' down in Wash DC that got most of that business.

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: bobad
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 09:53 PM

And I'm sure YOU didn't test drive any of the merchandise, right Bill?

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 10:15 PM

(just the purty pitcher magazines)...I sure didn't see any potential pleasure in THOSE toys! (and of course, they made them so small...*grin*)

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Peace
Date: 09 Dec 07 - 10:39 PM

In case you need a little help there, Bill . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Rowan
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 02:26 AM

In ancient Greece, if a man caught someone having sex with his wife, he could apply the customary punishment of shoving a radish up his arse. ... Sadly for Greek adulterers, their radishes were about 10 inches long and 2 inches diameter, and quite probably fatal.

Puts the song Ring of fire in a new light. And you'd want to make sure any grinder, mini or not, was watercooled.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Fire crew aid in penis operation
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Dec 07 - 08:29 AM

Some of these hardware devices might make effective ornaments for Moorish Dance teams, especially if bells were attached to the rings.

The next came in was Kris Kringle,
Who told everyone he was single,
And then he started to mingle,
As he joined with the jovial crew;
Then, Mrs. Kringle she came in,
And she kicked him 'twixt the knee and the chin,
And set his old bells a-jingling -
When Jones' Ale was new, me boys,
When Jones' Ale was new!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble