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Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 12:01 PM False alarm, MMArio. It's not a duck. It's just Shat....run for your lives. Run for your lives! Oh the humanity! Folks it's almost impossible to describe. 400 lbs of Shat hurling through the air from thousands of feet gathering momentum and ooooooh the house is gone. the swimming pool is gone. the volcano is gone. the penguins is gone. no Jell-O pit. POOR POOR Liz - no outhouse. SPLAT! and it was all gone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 12:03 PM This is all that is left http://www.durangobill.com/DesolationCynN.jpg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 12:05 PM Well! My work here is done. And SINS whistles her way happily through the trap door into the Tavern. "JD on the rocks with a twist please." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: wysiwyg Date: 07 May 09 - 12:20 PM Here's a note from a good contractor to help Amos recover his property values post-Tavern. Don;t fall for that doom and gloom talk at the end-- if the bid is high enough, he might just do it: ~S~ === In Order To by Kenneth Patchen Apply for the position (I've forgotten now for what) I had to marry the Second Mayor's daughter by twelve noon. The order arrived three minutes of. I already had a wife; the Second Mayor was childless: but I did it. Next they told me to shave off my father's beard. All right. No matter that he'd been a eunuch, and had succumbed in early childhood: I did it, I shaved him. Then they told me to burn a village; next, a fair-sized town; then, a city; a bigger city; a small, down-at-heels country; then one of "the great powers"; then another (another, an- other)—In fact, they went right on until they'd told me to burn up every man-made thing on the face of the earth! And I did it, I burned away every last trace, I left nothing, nothing of any kind whatever. Then they told me to blow it all to hell and gone! And I blew it all to hell and gone (oh, didn't I). . . Now, they said, put it back together again; put it all back the way it was when you started. Well. . . it was my turn then to tell them something! Shucks, I didn't want any job that bad. Kenneth Patchen, "In Order To" from Collected Poems. Copyright 1954 by Kenneth Patchen. Reprinted with the permission of New Directions Publishing Corporation. Source: Selected Poems (1957) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: GUEST,Gluon the duck dog Date: 07 May 09 - 12:28 PM Wags tail Can I put it back together now? Huh? Huh? Swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish (wags tail) There. For my pal Amos. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 12:31 PM Hmmm. How'd she do that? It's the old house and guest house (though I think she put back a few too many improvements--there does appear to be an ice rink back there, but the jello pit will have to be redug.) The credit card bill will still be huge, and I see all of Janie's pretty plates and the various pieces of furniture and library stuff. Did his hat and musical instruments come back to their old selves? What else did Gluon "fix" around here? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 12:33 PM Peeking through trap door: "Hey Duck. You put it back to what it was before Shatnergate. Must be like the refresh button on an Excel spreadsheet. You'll be clicking for days." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: GUEST,Tinker Date: 07 May 09 - 12:41 PM Ah the sun is now shining and My feet are raised.... I'd like a Margarita with lots of salt while I just enjoy the view... Gulon -- could you pull off that clean and organize thing at my house? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Ebbie Date: 07 May 09 - 12:58 PM Well, I, for one, was counting my blessings when the whole scene became just a green hole in the ground. Amos, after all, does not have a good memory and upon seeing the hole his reaction was likely to be bemusement. But I don't know about Ghuon's 'fixing'. There is ALWAYS something left undone (Ever tried to have a party when your parents were gone?), something grossly out of place or glaringly missing or something like that. Well. I, for one, am not going to go around eyeballing everything to check it. I have done ENOUGH. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Rapparee Date: 07 May 09 - 01:06 PM I just CAN'T take any explosives home...I'd be drummed out of the Legion. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 01:08 PM Gluon is fast and deals in Carl Sagan kinds of stuff--I'm sure the process of "putting things back" is subjective--to a duck dog's experience. The house, guest house, and rink are apparently NOT BLACK HOLES OR WORM HOLES, but that is probably the ONLY assumption we can make about this super-fast restoration. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 01:08 PM Oy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Ebbie Date: 07 May 09 - 01:13 PM INCOMING! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 01:13 PM heh heh That hat will survive anything won't it? A little singed and smelly but it just keeps on keepin' on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bill D Date: 07 May 09 - 01:37 PM You think Amos will notice his guitar is in BAGDAD tuning? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: ClaireBear Date: 07 May 09 - 01:49 PM It was already in BADDOG tuning when we got here. It isn't all that different now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: VirginiaTam Date: 07 May 09 - 02:26 PM Duck Dog How he stay so clean an white while clearing up mess? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 02:38 PM Look carefully MS. Tam. he didn't quite get everything back to the way it was before we arrived. The volcano, for instance, is much smaller but is hiding in the toilet. Shatner is in the kitchen filling his face with green Jell-O (that alone will out us) and smoking cigars - that will go over big. Rapaire, the hockey team and the squid are still missing. So is Liz and don't forget she's contagious. Maybe we should just arrange an earthquake - he would never suspect that all the damage wasn't caused by an earthquake. Where is that wand? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: ClaireBear Date: 07 May 09 - 02:44 PM We can solve the Shatner problem by deflating him -- remember? He started out as one of Little Hawk's blow-up plastic pals. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: MMario Date: 07 May 09 - 02:46 PM I always suspected that about Bill S. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bill D Date: 07 May 09 - 02:56 PM *musing over the mess ....and clever, but strangely eccentric 'cleanup'. Who knows...,mebbe he'll like the new layout. (well, if he doesn't, Amos has only himself to blame for touting his local weather while we were freezing our butts off and shoveling snow.) Yep..it's fine weather, Amos... a great place to visit. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 03:00 PM LOL The skating rink is his mattress. Amos won't be laughing at anyone who's cold for a while anyway. Forget the wand. I think things are perfect just the way they are. But let's find Liz. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Rapparee Date: 07 May 09 - 03:14 PM I, ah, kinda sorta accidentally blew up the outhouse that last time. I think that Liz was perhaps maybe inside. If she was, she might be achieved geosynchronous orbit about now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 03:22 PM geosynchronous orbit? explain... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: MMario Date: 07 May 09 - 03:32 PM High up enough that one orbit takes 24 hours - thus apparently stay ing one spot over the earth. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: ClaireBear Date: 07 May 09 - 03:33 PM You know, I think the post-Gluon house looks a little different from the outside, too. But I think Amos will like it okay. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 03:37 PM So Liz is the moon? She has tentacles, you know. Will they throw her out of orbit? Was she...uh...uh...properly covered when she went off? Oh my... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 May 09 - 03:37 PM The problem with letting Gluon "fix" things is that he-she-it can't really "return things to the way they were". What's done is done and can't be undone. Are you familiar with the Theory of Infinite Universes? In a nutshell, it says that if it's possible for either A or B to occur, and if A occurs in our universe, then there's another universe in which B occurs, but that universe is hidden from us. If you stop for a STOP sign in our universe, there's another universe in which you run the stop sign. (Shatner knows all about this 'cause it was the idea behind one of the old "Star Trek" episodes.) What Gluon does when he "fixes" something is to fold space-time so that the two universes flip-flop. They may be similar, but they're not exactly the same. That's why the volcano looks smaller. There are a few other differences as well, though most of them aren't quite so apparent. Here's a brief list of a few things that changed when Gluon "fixed" things: Garrison Keilor is good looking. Every character Steve Buscemi has played was still alive at the movie's end. I play guitar better than Tommy Emanuel. Rap music was a fad that only hung around for a couple of years. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 03:43 PM and all the fat people are now thin and all the thin people are now fat. I thought Shatner looked svelte. Look at me! Size 5 and craving lettuce. Nicely done, duck-dog. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 04:04 PM Well that explains it! It also explains why the walls aren't quite straight in the back half of the house (great call, C-Bear!). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 04:08 PM By the way--Liz has been doing a lot of travelling lately. If she's in geosynchronous orbit at least she'll get over that jet lag! That's one way to reset your circadian clock. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 04:10 PM Is this localized? Or all over the world? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 May 09 - 04:46 PM By the way, one other small change brought on by Gluon's "fixin'"... It's no longer necessary to go to Black's Beach to be naked. The entire state of California has been declared "clothing optional". Not just the beaches, but the whole place. Wanna hang out on Sunset Strip naked? No problem. Wanna drive on the Ventura Freeway naked? No problem. In fact, Black's Beach has been set aside as the only "clothing required" sanctuary in the state. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 04:55 PM Meantime in Butte Montana streaking is considered a sex crime. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: frogprince Date: 07 May 09 - 05:20 PM Well, at least I can get to a store to buy some clothes to go back to Michigan; so far as I can see, Gluon didn't happen to resurrect the one I came with. Oops, my billfold and credit card were all in those pants! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Tinker Date: 07 May 09 - 05:23 PM Okay the merging universes and nuns and penguins and... just take a look... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 05:40 PM frogprince, use Amos' card. Or Berts. You might also want to step into the original tavern to see if your pants landed in there. That was a strange one, Tink! Here is a group with a more benign message. I know I've seen a shot of Zubin Mehta in a tux in Antarctica, but it isn't turning up. A photographer will have to do. . . Good thing Amos isn't going there in his brown swimming trunks! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Ebbie Date: 07 May 09 - 06:15 PM "I think the post-Gluon house looks a little different from the outside, too" Clairbear ClaireBare, is that fleshy pink creature on one's right in the picture what I fear it is? Is that (shudder my moose minus his hairy parts? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: ClaireBear Date: 07 May 09 - 06:34 PM I don't know what you think it is, Ebbie, but what it is is one of the giant squid's tentacles, hanging on for dear life. Gluon tried, but Squiddy wouldn't be banished back to the aether whence it came; said it liked 'the San Diego vibe' too much. Won't Amos be surprised! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bill D Date: 07 May 09 - 06:58 PM Hey... it seems the "Ugly dog" contest is held in or near San Diego. He looks like he got caught in Rapaire's blasting! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 May 09 - 07:12 PM That dog's kinda cute. Sure, it looks a bit like what one would find in Beelzebub's toilet after he drank a six-pack of ColonBlow, but kinda cute anyway. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: katlaughing Date: 07 May 09 - 07:31 PM ClaireBear, those are my FAV. houses! I have visions of adding one on to the backyard side of our house, but if I can get you lot to come over and do it for free, then hey, come on over!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Janie Date: 07 May 09 - 08:14 PM Oh Tinker...priceless! I'm not quite sure when Amigo Amos will be home. Sometime between tomorrow night and Sunday. What kind of welcome song do we want to sing? Do we need to rehearse? Or maybe we should just get out of Dodge ASAP? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 May 09 - 08:25 PM What kind of welcome song do we want to sing? Do we need to rehearse? Nah, let's just hire Alice Cooper and have him do "Welcome to My Nightmare". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Janie Date: 07 May 09 - 08:27 PM Amose obliges a couple and snaps a picture with their camera while touring this site today. Little does he know that he will have plenty of opportunity to view ruins upon his arrival home. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 08:31 PM Why, after this remodel, he'll never want to leave home again! (He won't dare!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Rapparee Date: 07 May 09 - 08:56 PM Hey, did you know the Legionairres and Legionettes are adding a tank car of vodka to the jello pit, along with shredded carrots and little marshmallows? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Rapparee Date: 07 May 09 - 09:01 PM You know, I just found a few gallons of that paint Amos used on his car. We can paint the inside of what's left of his house for him. He'll appreciate that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 May 09 - 09:29 PM Kat, if you want your house to look like one of those Flying Concrete creations, it's a pretty simple matter. I'll just slip over to my neighbor's cow pasture this evening, pick a handful of those mushrooms growing in the cowpies, and send 'em to ya. Eat a couple of 'em and your house will look just like the ones in those pictures. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: katlaughing Date: 07 May 09 - 09:33 PM Oh, yeah, sure, BWL! That'll make me happy for awhile won't it!?LOL! |
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