BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 01:57 AM

Pussers is a rum... although I seem to remember Sev is denied such pleasures after last years hiatus. Make it something soft and I think he'll be happier. Besides, that Pussers is evil stuff and will raise his temperature more than is good for him and the nurses.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Emma B
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 03:53 AM

A good man needs no superlatives and a true friend knows his own worth

Still holding you (gently) in my thoughts

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: The Admiral
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 07:43 AM

Severn we have only just heard the news, afraid that we haven't been on mudcat for a while. Pleased to see that you managed to post to the thread. Thinking of you and hoping those nurses are treating you gently.
Tony and Pearl xx

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Ron Davies
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 09:53 AM

So sorry to hear of your accident, Severn. But it's great--and amazing--that you've been able to post to Mudcat already. And you know the community here is pulling for you. Hope you can keep us posted on your progress.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 11:24 AM

Liz - it is a virtual tub of aloe and a virtual Pusser's. I think Sev can manage it. I love to wander off in my own head and do and be what I am not. Go for it, Sev. Speedo and all!

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: gnu
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 11:27 AM

Finally got to the post office... WITH the card! >:-)

98p for a letter to the US, plus tax. I thought they just stuck the stamp on with glue.

Hey! At least I am trying, eh? (Yes, I know I am trying most of the time.)

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Pistachio
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 11:58 AM

Ouch! Only just found the thread. Best wishes and continuous virtual hugs over the ether from East Yorkshire.
'Hissyfit' Hazel x

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: kendall
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 12:51 PM

Ok, this is mostly for Severn.

(1) King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 1000 dinars for it." "But I paid a million dinars for it" the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the King!" Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."



(2) Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the Swiss bowling league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire so we will never know for whom the Tells bowled.



(3) A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now settle down, you'll just have to be a little patient."



(4) A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across staid lions for immortal porpoises.



(5) Back in the 1800's the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This of course is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!"



(6) A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have nothing to go on."



(7) An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."



(8) A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying "I must have taken Leif off my census"



(9) There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.



(10) A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas."



By the way, the guy who wrote these 10 puns entered them in a contest. He figured with 10 entries, he couldn't lose. As they were reading the list of winners, he was really hoping one of his puns would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: gnu
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 01:02 PM

Elabourate puns, Kendall.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 01:12 PM

More feghootish actually.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Micca
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 01:43 PM

A Mainite who told long and elaborate shaggy dog stories was holding forth at an event for Maine humourists, unfortunately during one of his best stories he let rip a trouser cough of Catspaw proportions both malodorus and noisy, even his wife got up and walked away!

A wit nearby was heard to remark " It seems to me you shift your wife like a Kendall with the wind"

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: gnu
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 01:46 PM

I think I am gonna duck and run for plover!

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: GUEST,rumanci
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 02:54 PM

Good healin' thoughts your way - good friend, good man.
NO jokin'- I swear (FAR too often!) upun my word !
rum x

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: kendall
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 03:04 PM

A few years ago I was reading a letter from Utah Phillips. Things had been going badly even back then, so I tried to cheer him up and he said, "It's better to write one Kendall than to curse the dark."

True story.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 05:11 PM

A young lad, just entering puberty, went to the Shoshone medicine man out here. The boy was getting embarrassed around the old guys because his...tool...was so small. The wise old man, knowing that time would fix things, told the boy to rub bear grease on his tool everyday and in a year it would be big and fine.

A year later the boy came to the old man in tears: the treatment didn't work.

"Did you rub it with bear grease every day, like I told you?" the wise old man asked.

"Well," the boy replied, "we didn't have any bear grease so I used Crisco instead."

"OY VEY!" said the medicine. "No wonder! That's shortening.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 09:08 PM

Can't we make this thread a bit more music related and educational? I've just been researching some info for one of our "Origin" threads, specifically the one about the song "Ode to Billie Joe." It is of particular interest since the Obama election showing the amount of change we've seen......finally! So at least let me preview it here and some of you can critique it before I move it to the thread. Plus it makes this thread more music and less BS. I doubt Severn considers his situation as BS!

The story of Billie Joe is based in truth but stylized to some degree. It is an old story, dating back to the the late 40's when the only daughter of John Hatch, a Mississippi Klansman of some note, was in love with the first black attorney in the state. Jubilee Simmons was the grandson of slaves and his parents had named him Jubilee because they had both been members of the famous Fisk Jubilee Singers, where they had actually first met and fallen in love. He had gone to law school at the University of Chicago and returned to his family's home state of Mississippi, taking up residence in Carroll county in 1948.

Klansman John Hatch's daughter was known to be a bit wild and young Kelli had already incurred her father's wrath on numerous occasions. Kelli was living with two other 22 year old women in the small town of Campton, Mississippi when she met and began dating Simmons. Her father learned of it a few weeks later and came into town drunk with some Klan buddies to hunt down and kill Simmons. Simmons law offices were across from the county courthouse and through an open window he could hear the drunken invectives hurled his way from across the square. He slipped out a back door and went to Kelli's house to take her away and save them both from the murderous rancor of her father and his equally violent "brethren."

Not finding Jubilee in his office the Klansmen split up to search for him and John Hatch went to his daughter's, presumably to beat her or possibly (and probably) worse. He arrived before the pair had left and headed in the back porch door adjoining the kitchen. Seeing him coming, Simmons grabbed a kitchen knife and jumped atop the counter and then onto the top of the refrigerator that stood by the door. As John Hatch passed, he didn't notice Simmons who then jumped him safely from behind and in the ensuing struggle, Hatch was stabbed with the knife. The lovers bagged his body and threw it off the bridge on their way out of town. They were on their way to Chicago when they were arrested in Clarksville, Tennessee and returned for trial in Mississippi. Jubilee represented both and thanks to the testimony of one of the roommates and Mrs. Hatch, the wife of the deceased and Kelli's mother, who had suffered abuse for years at the hands of her husband, both were acquitted and moved to Chicago where he established a moderately successful practice on the south side.

An original song about this was written in 1954 by a man named Wallace Adams and differed some from the later recorded version by Bobbi Gentry. The original song told the story as it was, but owing to legal considerations, the Gentry version was the only one allowed to recorded. The original was titled, "The Day that Jubilee the Barrister Jumped Off of Kelli Hatch's Fridge."










Sorry..............Told it 9 times before but I figure I can still hook someone.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 09:32 PM

I'll vouch for the truth of whatever it was that Spaw just said. Folks from Ohio don't never tell nothin' but the Truth. Why, my very own wife is admitted to practice Law in Ohio and she tells of the time one of her clients was being sworn in.

"Do you swear to tell the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth, so help you God?" asked the Judge.

"Up to a point," said her client.

"And what point is that?" asked the Judge, bemused.

"Up to the point when I start lyin'," replied her client.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 09:35 PM

And as we move poor Severn back into Intensive Care, Jacqui carefully opens the cellar door and kicks the involved parties down the stairs. Shame on you all!

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 10:52 PM

thanks to all

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 10:56 PM

I just hope his injuries aren't of the sort where it hurts to laugh. Or to groan.

I hope jacqui left a couple of bruises. Geez, but those were bad. Old and stinky, most of them, but still bad.

I know better than to wade into one of Spaw's long threads. But I still read the darned thing anyway. ;-D

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: GUEST,KT not logged in
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 04:03 AM

Sev, I'm so sorry to hear about this. You seem to have an incredible spirit to push through it all! I second Sinsull's image of surrounding you with cool, healing Alaskan ice! Be well, friend.

KT

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: alanabit
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 04:26 AM

Sorry to hear of your troubles and very glad to hear that you are on the mend.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Ghirotondo
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 06:04 AM

Hi, Severn, get well!
A postcard from Tuscany is coming (but knowing the Italian Postal Service you'll get it when you'll be completely ok!)

Ciao, auguri.
Lanfranco

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 08:15 AM

Why not surround him with cool Alaskan Amber and forget the Alaskan ice? Then you could just give him a straw and he'd have the best of both worlds.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: maeve
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 09:01 AM

Oh, there's a picture.

Good morning, Sev.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 11:51 AM

still hurts.left hand still in extenston splint.many drugs,much pain....

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 12:16 PM

sending hugs & love

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 12:26 PM

Not a pun out of him. Poor Severn must be hurting. I am so sorry - more ice and cooling soothing thoughts.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Micca
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 01:02 PM

I just spoke to him and he is quite doped up which is slowing him down both in speech and in his quick-fire reposts, but sounded as cheerful as he could be under the circumstances.
He confirmed he was NOT trying to iron a shirt while still wearing it.
He is in a fair amount of discomfort due to both the burns and also the areas the used for the skin-grafts so in the main progress is being made but it is slow and steady.
Get well soon Buddy and I look forward to seeing the "New Improved" Severn later in the year!

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 01:06 PM

Hang tough, buddy. Hang tough. Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Skivee
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 02:43 PM

Severn, I've been sending healing thoughts and mental unguents your way. I hope they help.

Subject: Update on Severn: Moved from ICU
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 04:33 PM

Just got back from a visit at JHU. His new room Number is 312a, New Phone [phone]. He's stronger than when I talked to him on Friday, good spirits.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 04:52 PM

Thanks. Great news!

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 05:04 PM

Nice to get some updates. Sounds as if it's gonna be a long haul. Let's get 'em gals on the tow-rope today!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 05:07 PM

Whoops, I forgot to post the chorus:

And it's haul away girls, steady and true,
Polly and Dolly and Sally and Sue,
Mothers and sisters and sweethearts and all,
So it's haul away, haul away, haul away, haul away, girls!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Peace
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 05:09 PM

Severn, you are one of the best folks I've 'met' in years, and from a few talks on the phone last summer, I know you are a quiet understated sob. You have the courage to handle this and lots left over for the rest of us. You are going to get thru this, but it is going to hurt like hell for a while. That's nature's way of letting you know your nerves are screaming, and that's a good thing. Hang in.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: GUEST,severn
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 06:40 PM

new hosptal contact

rom312-A
410-550=6216

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: maeve
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 06:57 PM

Thanks, Severn. Nice to see you stop by here this evening.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 08:11 PM

I'd call, but I'm not going to.

Get some sleep, get some healing.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: vectis
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 08:17 PM

Get well soon mate, we need to share a few pints together again somewhen soon.
Mary & Ian

XXX

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: GUEST,George Burns
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 08:45 PM

Hey! here's some burnt offerings ....


A man goes to a doctor because both of his ears are burnt. 'Sit down and tell me how it happened, says the doctor. Well,I was ironing my clothes when I received a call and instead of picking the phone I picked up the iron and burnt my ear.'But that's one ear - what about the other? She called again...

FACE BURN

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face
was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't
graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the
husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable
would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed
that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and
requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this
was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the
woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had
before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her
youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with
emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you
for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay
you."

"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I
see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

.........................

best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were sent for.

Daryl went in, and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thought that was rather strange, and brought in Gomer next to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him over, and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

"What? He had two assholes?" asked the mortician.

"Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Art Thieme
Date: 05 Apr 09 - 11:36 PM

Severn,

Here's to the quickest possible recovery! And I'm sitting here with my absolute favorite -- Laphroaig single malt -- toasting you.

And after you learn the ropes, and accomplish that, please, call Barrack and tell him how to do it!!!!

All the very best,

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Barry Finn
Date: 06 Apr 09 - 12:46 AM

I hope you're doing a bit better Buddy. All my hopes & wishes to you for a speedy & full recovery.

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Leadfingers
Date: 06 Apr 09 - 09:44 AM

Severn- Just been up visiting the family ! Colin and Pat send their Good Wishes .

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 06 Apr 09 - 01:37 PM

Trouble is when you've had all this work how will we tell you and George Clooney apart??

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 09 - 02:52 PM

You know, I really did read that Leadfingers had been "vomiting the family." Had to read it twice before I read it right.

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Leadfingers
Date: 06 Apr 09 - 03:29 PM

Nothing Sickening about My Old Mom Rap ! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 06 Apr 09 - 06:15 PM

I imagine the scene when Severn arived at hospital...

Ambulance - "We're bringing in a new patient"
Nurse - "Who is it?"
Ambulance - "Severn"
Nurse - Best tell the Doctor to prepare for the Words..."

Quack!
Geoff.m-

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Leadfingers
Date: 06 Apr 09 - 07:04 PM

That is TERRIBLE Geoff ! Almost bad enough for Sev ! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Severn Injured...Good thoughts, please
From: Leadfingers
Date: 06 Apr 09 - 07:04 PM

200