BS: Best comedy lines

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Bert
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 01:37 AM

Oh, and from "Take it from here"

XXXVI
XXVI
XXXV Eye, Eye, EYE!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Bassic
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 01:54 AM

"10 O`clock, cafe Mozart!" (Carry on parody of all the spy movies, 3rd man onwards.)




"Which F***ing cafe Mozart!" (Anyone who has ever visited Saltzberg)

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Art Thieme
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 01:54 AM

Dizzy Dean, broadcasting a baseball game in St. Louis in the 1950s, had the camera stay on a couple making out passionately in the stands.

Off the top of his head, old Diz said, "Folks, I finally figured out their system. He kisses her on the strikes, and she kisses him on the balls !!!"

I just about died laughing!!!!!!!!!!

MIDCHUCK, that line you mentioned in the film THE GREAT RACE about the "fria(e)r" and the chicken made me fall off my chair I was laughing so hard. To this day, I wait for it whenever I see that flick. And these days that means I fall out of my wheelchair---and Carol has to go and get at least two more people to help me get up off the floor. ;-)

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Bassic
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 01:56 AM

Que! (Manuel de Barcelona!)

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Bassic
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 01:58 AM

Sorry, should have been "Que?"

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Bassic
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 01:59 AM

A classic line from "Flowery Twats"

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Bassic
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 02:03 AM

"Stormy Petrol on a stick!", "Gannet Ripple!" (MP)

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Bassic
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 02:06 AM

"Hi Di Hi" (Gladys Pugh) ((UK only unless you watch really really late nite TV in the US))

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Bassic
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 02:10 AM

" A waffer thin mint?"...................... "F**K off I`m full" KEERRRRSPPPPLAAATTTTT (MPFC again)

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 05:20 PM

Madeline Kahn plays a Teutonic titwillow in Blazing Saddles. She is performing in a dance hall and sees a cowboy with his hat on his lap:
"Hello, handsome, is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?"

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: GUEST,Peter T.
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 05:56 PM

I was wrong, it was Ringo, surprisingly. yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 06:13 PM

"ummm...Lord...what's a cubit?" Bill Cosby

also.. "Noah, how long can you tread water?"

and one of my favorites...George Gobel is commenting on the prediction of the National Safety Council about how many people will die on Labor Day weekend...(they don't do this anymore)

"Well, the prediction is that 374 people will die in traffic accidents between Friday noon and Sunday midnight. It is now Saturday night and 127 have died"............long pause, then looking into the camera with furrowed brow..."....now, some of you folks just aren't trying!"

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Gareth
Date: 23 Nov 02 - 06:43 PM

Cricket commenty on BBC radio (That rules out most US of A Catters)

The Batsmans Holding, the Bowler's Willy

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: GUEST,Barney McCool
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 03:22 PM

Olly-What did he die off?,
Stan-He died of a Tuesday.

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: lady penelope
Date: 24 Nov 02 - 05:56 PM

Fletcher from Porridge ( played by the glorious Ronnie Barker ) in a cell, singing whilst preparing to shave " Born free, till somebody caught me, now I'm doing solitary........."

Here, I thought the Phantom Rasberry Blower of Old London Town was the Two Ronnies. Or did they nick it from the Goons? I deffinately saw it on the telly though.

TTFN M'Lady P.

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Merritt
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 12:47 AM

Agree that Slow Talkers of America routine is first rate.

"I'd horsewhip you, if I had a horse." – G. Marx

In Pick Panther movie -

Sellers to Blind Man: "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite."
Blind Man: "It's not my dog."

From Dagwood cartoon; excuse punctuation – Dagwood and his boss, Mr. Smithers are at an airport ticket window. "Give me two round-trip tickets!" Smithers barks at the ticket lady. "To where?" She asks. "Well, back to here, of course!" He yells, completely disgusted.

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: GUEST,Ordinary Average Guy
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 11:41 AM

Madeline Khan (easily the funniest woman in movie history) as the mother of a pirate's kid in Yellowbeard: "Do you remember the last time we had a cuddle?"

Yellowbeard: "You mean I raped ya."

"It was a little rough."

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: JulieF
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 11:51 AM

Eric Morcame to Andre Previn.

I'm playing all the right notes just not necessarily in the right order.

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Declan
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 01:05 PM

From Get Smart

Max (Agent 86) to 99 : "99 I think you think you like Agent 43 better than me"
99 : "Nonsense, you're worth 2 43s, 86"

Subject: RE: BS: Best comedy lines
From: Leadfingers
Date: 25 Nov 02 - 02:46 PM

Almost any thing from the wonderful Les Barker.