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YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??

Wesley S 19 Jun 00 - 05:45 PM
katlaughing 19 Jun 00 - 06:04 PM
Crowhugger 19 Jun 00 - 06:17 PM
Mbo 19 Jun 00 - 06:22 PM
catspaw49 19 Jun 00 - 06:25 PM
Mary in Kentucky 19 Jun 00 - 06:35 PM
Geoff the Duck 19 Jun 00 - 06:36 PM
Morticia 19 Jun 00 - 07:41 PM
McGrath of Harlow 19 Jun 00 - 08:07 PM
Melani 19 Jun 00 - 08:09 PM
Escamillo 19 Jun 00 - 08:29 PM
BlueJay 19 Jun 00 - 08:30 PM
Mbo 19 Jun 00 - 08:31 PM
Irish sergeant 19 Jun 00 - 09:00 PM
Mooh 19 Jun 00 - 09:35 PM
Paul G. 19 Jun 00 - 09:44 PM
Ebbie 19 Jun 00 - 09:45 PM
Mary in Kentucky 19 Jun 00 - 09:58 PM
alison 19 Jun 00 - 10:09 PM
MMario 19 Jun 00 - 10:24 PM
alison 19 Jun 00 - 10:34 PM
thosp 19 Jun 00 - 10:39 PM
thosp 19 Jun 00 - 10:40 PM
GUEST 19 Jun 00 - 10:58 PM
katlaughing 19 Jun 00 - 11:40 PM
Big Mick 19 Jun 00 - 11:51 PM
catspaw49 19 Jun 00 - 11:56 PM
DonMeixner 20 Jun 00 - 12:06 AM
Mark Cohen 20 Jun 00 - 12:29 AM
katlaughing 20 Jun 00 - 12:29 AM
GUEST,leeneia 20 Jun 00 - 01:05 AM
catspaw49 20 Jun 00 - 01:17 AM
GUEST,Wesley S at Home 20 Jun 00 - 07:01 AM
Mrs.Duck 20 Jun 00 - 07:39 AM
GUEST,JulieF 20 Jun 00 - 07:44 AM
dwditty 20 Jun 00 - 08:14 AM
GUEST 20 Jun 00 - 08:40 AM
Mbo 20 Jun 00 - 09:45 AM
Mrs.Duck 20 Jun 00 - 11:02 AM
SINSULL 20 Jun 00 - 11:05 AM
GUEST,Mrr 20 Jun 00 - 11:27 AM
Easy Rider 20 Jun 00 - 12:18 PM
Jon W. 20 Jun 00 - 12:29 PM
Catlin 20 Jun 00 - 03:05 PM
Sorcha 20 Jun 00 - 06:18 PM
Wesley S 20 Jun 00 - 06:20 PM
Mbo 20 Jun 00 - 06:29 PM
Sorcha 20 Jun 00 - 07:53 PM
alison 20 Jun 00 - 09:22 PM
Mark Cohen 20 Jun 00 - 11:22 PM
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Subject: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Wesley S
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 05:45 PM

It's just starting to sink in. My wife Bretta and I were at the OB/GYN's office today and we found TWO heartbeats. Twins - perhaps due around the first of February. As my boss { the father of twins himself } said - "Life as you know it is now over".

I'm excited - I'm terrified - and I turn 49 in about a week. There are so many things Bretta and I are looking forward to. This will be a great adventure for the two of us. I'm already looking at lullabies. Does anyone know a lullaby for twins? And will I have to listen to Barney??


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 06:04 PM

Congratulations, Wesley and Bretta!! My mother's brothers were twins, my sisters are twins, and my daughter had twin boys two years ago in May....no Barney, but they love something called "blues clues/news??" or something like that.

Get two of everything, let them be individuals, don't dress them alike all of the time, and get pictures of them separate, too, as well as together....that comes from my sisters and a friend who is a twin.

And, charge up on your energy 'cause you're gonna need it!! If you can afford it, get a housekeeper for the first few months or even after the first birthday...until they are out of diapers, or at least get a diaper or laundry service!**BG** It seems my daughter and her hubby are ALWAYS doing laundry.

Oh...and buy stock in a grocery store!**BG** And, sing to them LOTS. My daughter played music to them in utero, both parents singsonged about them in utero and when they were born I bought a cassette player which had a timer and attached to the crib and they got to where they would not go to sleep without their classical music tape playing. Also, let them sleep together until they are bigger...they miss each other after being born. Akira and Elijah still have to know where their "bro" is or they get upset, even though they've been in separate beds for about a year and a quarter.

If she plans to nurse there are wonderful pillows which are in a circle shape with slice out, so she can put it around her waist, then use what they call the "football hold", to nurse both at the same time! Their bodies get tucked up under her arms on the pillow, while their heads rest in her hands. Of course, I took one look at that and saw how worn out my daughter was with no sleep and them preemies and always hungry and convinced her to go to bottles, but it was worth it for the first few weeks anyway.

Okay, I wasn't going to write a book, but this is exciting. If you have any questions throughout the time, I'd be happy to ask her for you.

Again, congratulations!

kat


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Crowhugger
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 06:17 PM

Oh, WOW!! or is that WOW, WOW!! !!

This is going to be very special. You both have to plan extra carefully for the next few months to get even MORE sleep in the new parents sleep account.

Congratu-doggone-wow-holy-cow-lations!

CH.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mbo
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 06:22 PM

Wooha! Congratulations, old boy! And to Bretta, most importantly! Remember, babies like George Winston!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 06:25 PM

Yes....Life as you know it may be over, but the next one gets better. I wish I'd been a Dad at a younger age, but anytime is a good time to hear, "I love you Dad." February is a great time....my son Tristan was born on the 4th.

Karen and I send our best to both of you and we'll be looking forward to hearing all the details as things move along....and eventually out!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 06:35 PM

Hi Wesley,

My twin boys just turned 27! You are about to embark on the most fun trip of your life.

I have lots of practical advice about logistics, philosophy, good books to read, who to listen to, who not to listen to, etc. Personal message me if your're interested.

Just remember to enjoy every moment because you truly are blessed!

Mary

PS I'll be a first-time Grandma in September (my daughter), and I'm reminded of what my father always said to his buddies when they were bragging about becoming grandfathers. It was after my twins were born, so he would say, "Oh...just one?"


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 06:36 PM

Our twins Molly and Rowan are 10 months old now. Looking after them is the most rewarding experience I have ever had, and also the most exhausting. Don't expect to have much time left for doing anything else, but treasure every minute of it - they grow up so fast! Quack!


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Morticia
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 07:41 PM

Congratulations Wes! I had mine the old-fashioned way, one at a time and they were still hard work! Guess your lady is just being energy efficient :)Keep us posted and well done !


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 08:07 PM

Harmony crying...Life begins at 49. Everything up will soon be a half forgotten prelude. Get some sleep in the next few months.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Melani
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 08:09 PM

Congratulations! If you're lucky and clever, you can train them to dislike Barney...when "Barney" showed up at a classmate's birthday party, my son actually cried, though the other kids were entranced. My aunt had not twins, but two kids a year apart, and she said it was harder at first, but at least they played together, and the part with diapers is over faster, too. Have fun.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Escamillo
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 08:29 PM

It´ll be a new life indeed, plenty of happiness as you could never imagine (I understand they are the first babies fot you). Best of the best wishes. Un abrazo - Andrés


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: BlueJay
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 08:30 PM

Congratulations. Congratulations. We had ours one at a time, but twins would have worked, as well. I am about your age, and my youngest is now four. I don't think it'd make a whole lot of difference if she were born today. Others, such as kat/katlaughing, have better advice regarding actual twins. I have no experience with twins, only babies in general. You've got your work cut out for you, that's for sure. Also a tremendous aamount of fun. I don't know if you have other children, but I think one reason people keep having kids is that they hate to see them grow up. Our youngest is four. Of course with each passing year comes new delights, challenges, yada yada yada. But there's just something about the wee ones. I wish we could freeze-frame her, and keep her four years old forever. In an abstract way, of course. In a few short months, my friend, you will be telling usthe uninitiated, what it is like to live with twin babies. Then year-olds. Then two year olds. I am very much looking forward to it.
MBO is most insightful. George Winston is a good musical choice. But I will say again, Kate Wolf tapes always calmed my fussy, premature grandson. Every single time. Just something about that lady's voice and melodies always soothed him. Maybe personal chemistry. Maybe she would not work for other kids, but it's worth a try. Buy a couple of Kate Wolf tapes, and Winston, too as MBO suggests. You're bound to end up with two or three tape players anyway. Start out with the good stuff. Barney will come later, trust me. BlueJay


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mbo
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 08:31 PM

My sister and I have the same kind of relationship. She is 15 months younger than me, and we are very often mistaken for twins (we look alike, we sound alike, what a crazy pair...you know the bit).

When we were little we always worked together to get things done. I started talking at a very early age (and haven't shut up since) but my sister took a little longer. When she was thirsty (don't ask how she let me know that she was) we'd go up to my mother and I'd say "We're thirsty, we want a drink." Like the Mouth of Sauron, I was the Mouth of Cbo (as I like to say to annoy her).

We're still like that today, often completing each other's sentences, knowing what the other is thinking, and giving each other the knowing "look" when we understand something noone else does. We are notorious for breaking out into Shakespeare or Les Mis dialogues right in the middle of a conversation, much to the rest of the family's puzzlement. I hope your 2 little bundles of joy have the same kind of harmonious connection that we share!!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 09:00 PM

Wesley: Congratulations! I have no children so any advice I could give will be of the uneduacted guess variety. I expect coming into a musical house, you'll have less trouble weaning them off the big purple walking oil deposit than others will. I expect most lullabys will work but if I hear of any specifically for twins I will forward them. Best of luck to you all and again congratulations Dias Mhuir a dhuit!! Neil


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mooh
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 09:35 PM

Two of my closest childhood friends were twins. I know their parents found them not so much a challenge as a double sized gift. I still have an image in my mind of their mother hugging them both at the same time, getting twice as much back as she could give at a time.

Congratulations, you've been given something special.

Peace, Mooh.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Paul G.
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 09:44 PM

Holey moley Wesley! Way to go! A friend of mine just had twins about 2 weeks ago -- now they have 4 kids all under 4 years old...good parents can manage it all, and we all know you'll do great...By the way, I'm 47 and will become a grandfather in the next week or two. You sure have some moxy starting out fresh at our tender age ;-)...Keep us up to date as things develop.

Paul


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 09:45 PM

Congratulations, Wesley and Bretta! As a proud grandma, I can tell you it's a special event, and continues so. My daughter's first pregnancy resulted in twins- one of each- who are now 10 years old.

She says that if she knew it would be twins again she'd get pregnant again. I think her husband agrees. :)Ebbie


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 09:58 PM

Oh yes...just thought of more advice...Back in the old days we didn't always know in advance that we were having twins, so a lot of department stores had what they called twin insurance. That meant that if you bought a baby bed, or car seat, or clothes or whatevever, and saved the receipt, then found out you were having twins, the second set of equipment and clothes were free! Certainly worth looking into.

Mary


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: alison
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 10:09 PM

Congratulations Wesley,

As a midwife I have looked after mnay ladies both before and after the birth of twins, triplets etc....... you ahve probably dicovered this already but the pregnancy tends to be more involved than just with one baby... double the morning sickness, tiredness,weight gain, etc..... make sure she gets lots of rest.

If I can be of any help, with questions or advice please feel free to message or email me (epulse@tpg.com.au)

It is perfectly feasible to breast feed twins(I've even seen triplets fed successfully, 2 on the breast and one gets a bottle, next feed they all switch around).... and if they are good feeders and feed together it can be less time consuming than making up all those bottles. Kat's suggestion of a "boomerang" pillow was a good one... it's even good for one baby at a time until they are big enough to hold their head's up.

Over here there is a society called the "Multiple births association" I'm sure there's something similar where you are... so look them up.. they'll be glad to help... it's usally run by people who have had twins etc themselves....

Happy parenting

slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: MMario
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 10:24 PM

Remember, extended families are coming back into style; and they don't have to be "blood" relatives. Spread the wealth! Seriously, my parenting has all been with other people's children, and I bless those parents every day for sharing the miracle of their children with me. So, congratulations! When can I hold them?


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: alison
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 10:34 PM

Move to Oz MMario I'll lend you mine...... sometimes it would be nice to give them to the extended family.. but they're a long way away...., *grin*

slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: thosp
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 10:39 PM

so you don't get confused -- i strongly advise you to give them the same name! ---

peace (Y) thosp


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: thosp
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 10:40 PM

so you don't get confused -- i strongly advise you to give them the same name! ---

peace (Y) thosp


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 10:58 PM

Sweet Mario - as a parent who is blessed with people who treat my daughters as beloved nieces, daughters, granddaughters without benefit of blood.... I thank you. People like you who step into those roles are making it possible for newfangled/oldfashioned parents like me to make a go of it in this 'village' (read: crazy country) we occupy.

Dani


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 11:40 PM

Alison! That's exactly the description I was looking for for those pillows and you are right...they are perfect for propping a wee one up until they can hold their heads up. I have some adorable pix of my grandsons, plopped down in a bommerang pillow, together when they were small enough, then their parents went out and bought another, just so they could both be in their own pillow as they grew bigger.

My mom always said she thought twins weren't that difficult because they entertained each other so much of the time. My sisters even had their own language when they were really little....used it only with one another.

This is going to be so much fun for you and Bretta...what joy!

kat


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Big Mick
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 11:51 PM

EEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA! Mudcat babies........and I do love the wee'uns.

Wesley, I strongly advise you to begin right now to sit and play and sing to the children. Right now while they are still cooking. I did this to the wee Ciara and her mother said she could feel the baby react to it. I would sing kids songs to her, and when she was born, she would sing with me as soon as she heard the guitar. She was very expressive, in a positive way right from the beginning. It builds a bond that is amazing.

Congratulations to you and Britta.

Big Mick


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Jun 00 - 11:56 PM

And Wes, let's not be worrying over ol' Barney. I really detested the damn thing until I saw what fun he gave my boys. Besides, you aren't his target audience and the dinosaur really understands his demographics. They'll pass on to other things all too soon.

........And don't forget to get them signed up for that "NRA Kidz" program and let them start choosing their weapons!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: DonMeixner
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 12:06 AM

As the owner of twins my best advice to you is let them be singular. Allow them to grow up as individuals and not as repeats. I my case as often as i say Greg and Geof I try to say Geof and Greg.

The world will always keep them as twins, you should try to keep them as individuals. Grandmothers will hate it but the kids will love you for it later.

Don


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 12:29 AM

Wesley, it's not really a lullaby, but this song, Both of You, may give you something to think about for the future. (It was written for Sandy Bradley and Jere and Greg Canote, Seattle musicians and radio stars.)

As a pediatrician, the best advice I can give you is to take advantage of the advice you can get from alison and katlaughing. Also know that many twins are born early, so don't panic if that happens. And remember that they are two children, not one person called "the twins." All the best, my friend.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 12:29 AM

hey, Don! I'm a grandma and I don't hate it!**BG**


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 01:05 AM

What exactly is the the "purple oil deposit" mentioned in an earlier post? As an acoustic musician, I think I could use this diatribe.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 01:17 AM

That's Barney the Purple Dinosaur......and you have obviously not had any kids around you in the past ten years!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: GUEST,Wesley S at Home
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 07:01 AM

Thanks one and all. It's about 5:45 here in Texas and I've been awake since 2:30. Too many thoughts in my head for sleep. Bretta and I are very lucky to have a great support system in place. A close friend and my sister are nurses, good friends who have gone through this recently and a boss with twins of his own { his wife is a child phycologist [ however thats spelled] }.

I do plan to start singing to my children soon - I'm already looking at my songbooks. My Creole Belle may just have to have a rewrite. I need more songs - ideas welcome. I like the idea of teaching these children to be individuals. We'll have to try not to refer to them as "the twins". Thanks - more after I get to work.

PS - Did I tell y'all that these children will restore old time, bluegrass and celtic music to the top 40?? I'll put you on the guest list of their Carnegie and Albert Hall debuts if their manager will allow it. { no pressure }


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 07:39 AM

Many congratulations Wesley and Bretta. Our twins Molly and Rowan were born naturally on th7th August last year and attended their first fol session on the 11th and their first festival on th 21st(Whitby) They have been breast fed in pubs all over England and once we established a routine I had no trouble. When we were out I fed them on their own but at home I built a big nest on the bed and just settled down with the telly on or music and a packet of biscuits and stayed until we all went off to sleep.Its a lot easier now of course although the one thing noone warned me about was how much longer the shopping would take. Not because of the extra groceries but because everyone youpass will want to bill and coo over the babies-far more than with any singleton. Keep us posted and any problems or queries that someone who's been there might be able to help with feel free to mudcat mail us. Get plenty of rest and play them your favourite music now and they'll settle to that when they're born OOH I'm getting all excited for you.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: GUEST,JulieF
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 07:44 AM

Congratulations on the great news. It's also refreshing to know that all parents have not succumbed to the curse of the large Purple dinosaur. We were quite lucky as Cat's favourite program was a sort of anachistic puppet called POB. If you want a bit of variety music wise to play to them try Peter and the Wolf - It worked for us , we got through about four tapes.

All the best

Julie


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: dwditty
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 08:14 AM

A group called MOTA (Mothers of Twins) meets at our church every month. I don't know much about it, but there seems to be a level of support that only those going through the same experience can really appreciate. Not to mention the sharing of clothes, strollers, etc. Check it out.

By the way, my youngest of 4 girls is almost 5. I am almost 53. I couldn't be happier.

Congrats to you and Bretta.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 08:40 AM

What a great Father's Day gift. Fathers by necessity have to take a more active role with twins than with single babies. I wasn't too inclined to learn the finer points of parenting - like changing diapers, giving baths, preparing formula - with our first child...but with twins there was nowhere to hide!

Being so similar in age and physical appearance, as they grow older and become aware they'll struggle to differentiate themselves from each other. One of our boys is a typical boy: baseball; patron saint of stray dogs; learning to spit. His brother is a study in contrast: shy; sensitive; artistic. They both have worked hard to become their own person, in opposition to friends' and relatives' penchant for getting their identities confused. It's fascinating to observe.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mbo
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 09:45 AM

Reminds me of a sketch from Saturday Night Live. "Coming soon to theaters---Barney's Titanic Adventure!!! 'Hello sky! Hello sun! Hello water! Hello iceberg!' Watch Barney go to a watery grave! (Scene of Barney laying on the ocean floor....still waving...)"

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 11:02 AM

I think you're all very mean to Barney. When my daughter Maddie (now 6) was little it was a godsend as in the UK it is shown at around 6.30 am just as she woke up and she would sit transfixed for half an hour while I dozed off. Of course America hasn't been treated to the delights of the Yeletubbies or the Tweenies. Anyway Wesley you get to choose what they do for fun for the first five years until they get to school but then no matter how youn try they will go with the latest trend!!!


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 11:05 AM

At the risk of being trite:

There is nothing more exciting than a new baby. Love them, treasure them, teach them right from wrong and stand back while they take over the world.

But first, get some rest. They will be 35 before you can rest easy again.

SS


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 11:27 AM

FIRST - CONGRATS!!!

Then:
1) Advice from one mother of twins, my sister, to me when I was pregnant with MY twins: Don't buy anything that converts into something else, you won't have the extra hand to convert. So don't get a swing that turns into a baby seat, get a baby seat AND a swing. This turned out to be very good advice.
2) Hers went full-term, but that is exceptional. Be prepared for premature delivery. I didn't take any of the childbirth classes, Lamaze or whatever, so when I did go into labor at 7 months (my first children) I didn't have any "tricks" to try, my (now X2B) didn't know what I needed, and so on. Get into those classes early, you might miss them otherwise.
3) If a practitioner tells you Take It Easy - GO TO BED. I "took it easy" in my mind and found out later that if I had stayed in bed, Tim's sac wouldn't have ruptured at 27 weeks. BE MORE CAREFUL than you think you'd have to be, or than you were with other pregnancies (I don't know if this is your first or not).
4) My X2B just turned 50 (I'm not 40 yet) but that had nothing to do with our breaking up, so don't worry about your age, you are at a great age to be a dad. You will have a lot more patience with them than you would have had at 30, chances are, and children are very good at recalibrating for other problems. For instance, I have a very bad back, and my kids were trained from an early age to climb up onto furniture if they want to be picked up, or to JUMP when I hold their arms, so that it is their muscles that pick them up, not mine. And they know to be quiet so my Mom can take a nap when we visit, even if they themselves aren't napping.

5) And last: When they are small and you have had no sleep and cannot stand it any more and want to bash their teeny heads together, which will happen even if you only had one, USE THE SOCIAL SUPPORT that is widely available, just look at this thread. We used to take ours to the Mall when we got frustrated, and 17 people would swarm around going Oh honey, you must work so HARD! How do you do it? and so on... not to mention the other 17 who are twins, have twins, have twin siblings or parents or relatives or something... and in about 2 mn you feel right back on top of the world. You don't get this kind of reaction with singletons (who ever went up to a baby and cooed Ooh, my father was a baby once!), so although you get smiles and all, with twins you get a lot of attention right when you need it.

Also: many companies give twin discounts, all you have to do is ask. When buying one car seat say I have twins, give me the second at half-price and this is where we'll buy the cribs. They often will do it even if they have no set policy, just chat up the manager and talk about all the stuff your wee ones will need, and wouldn't it be nice if you had a favorite store...

Not advice, just a note: Mine are fraternal twins, as are my sister's, and I would sometimes dress them the same and sometimes differently. My favorite thing when it was up to me was to dress them similarly but not identically - both in purple shirts but one says Pennsylvania and the other, Philadelphia, or something, UNLESS I was taking them to something crowded. Even now (they just turned 5)I try to dress them as brightly and as identically as they will put up with when going to a crowded and outdoor event, for my own peace of mind when looking around for them. This was very helpful once when Tim got lost at an outdoor wedding and I was able to walk around with Wil and say Anybody seen a kid who looks just like this? And we found Tim in no time. I had tried earlier just by description and the same person who knew where he was when shown the model had just denied all knowledge of small blond curls in a striped turtleneck.

You are in for the ride of your lives, and it will be GREAT!


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Easy Rider
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 12:18 PM

Congratulations, mazeltov and all the best wishes I can send your way. I have no advice about babies, having only become a father (of a 22 year old girl) less than two years ago. We adopted each other! Still, being a parent has changed my life, for the better, in ways I can't begin to describe. Children are Real! You have to be Real!

My wife and I started late, had several miscarriages, got too old and gave up, several years ago. You have a long trip ahead of you, and a lot can happen that is not in your control. It 'aint over till the fat lady sings.

Good luck, EZR


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Jon W.
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 12:29 PM

Congratulations x 2, Wesley. Our second pregnancy turned out to be twins, who are now 15. We were somewhat isolated from extended family at the time so it was hard. Fortunately my job at the time wasn't very demanding and I got by with little sleep. I heartily endorse what has been said about cultivating a support system - it will be needed. Mothers of Twins club can be a great resource - especially getting some of the paraphernalia like twin strollers etc. used and cheap, if that's a consideration.

Our twins never wanted to dress alike and we rarely had them do it. Sometimes we regret that because they missed out a lot of advantages of being twins (extra attention etc.) It seems that they grew apart for a while but in the last couple of years they've grown a lot closer. Still they have very distinct personalities.

My best advice is to give your wife lots of support so she will feel as peaceful as possible - this will help her bond with both babies at once. Encourage her to breastfeed if at all possible - that really helps too. Our twins were due in Feb. but born in Jan. They were so small it was difficult for them to breastfeed, so we mostly missed that opportunity and my wife still regrets it - especially compared to the four subsequent kids who each nursed until they were darn good and ready to quit.

Also, let the hospital staff know that you want to know for sure whether the twins are identical or not (they can examine the placenta) if there is any doubt. Not that it's very important usually, but they will be constantly asked and it's nice to have a definitive answer. We don't know for sure and now we're thinking of getting expensive DNA tests to find out.

Another question you will face when they start school is whether to have them in the same class or not. Usually the school will try to pressure you to separate them (it's easier for the teachers) but we found our twins had more problems when they were separated and we put them back together for a few years and it helped. I'd say keep them together in school as long as they want to be (i.e. unless they themselves have strong objections).

Again, congratulations and have fun.

Jon W.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Catlin
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 03:05 PM

Being the mother of a singleton baby, I can't give advice on twins, but I can sympathise. My son is just ten months and I'm really starting to feel it. All I can say is try to get as much rest and sleep as possible. I haven't slept properly in about two weeks now and I'm knacked. I'd dread to think what I'd be like with twins
*Hugs*
Catlin


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 06:18 PM

Wes, if you and Bretta are pleased and happy about this, that is all that is necessary (aside from all the good advice above *BG*). I am 48, almost 49, and if it were me the last thing I would be doing is jumping for joy........Both of our two singles were difficult enough for me, and I remember thinking, when Kate was born,"Thank God there is not another one in there!" Happy for you both, tho.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Wesley S
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 06:20 PM

Thanks folks - Lots of great ideas here that I'll share with the Mrs. Can anyone come up with a lullaby for twins?? I'm headed home - who knows - maybe I'll get more than three hours of sleep tonight. It sounds like I'll need it.


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mbo
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 06:29 PM

Hey Wes, Kenny G does a gorgeous version of Brahms' Lullaby (Weigenlied) on his album "Miracles"...in face the whole CD is good for putting babies to sleep. It sure calms our cat down!


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 07:53 PM

The "14 Angel Song" (?) from the operetta Hansel and Gretel, "Sleep, Baby, Sleep", "Pretty Saro", "Peace in the Valley"


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: alison
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 09:22 PM

one of the best pieces of advice I was given was that when it gets really bad and you've had enough... go to McDonalds!!! Because you'll see many other parents there whose children are MUCH worse than yours. Makes you appreciate your little angels more.....*grin*

slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: YEE HAA !!!! TWINS !!!! What now??
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 20 Jun 00 - 11:22 PM

Mrs. Duck, yes we do have Teletubbies. Aauugggh!

Mrr, thanks for that great term, X2B. I've been referring to my soon-to-be-ex-wife. (Way back in high school somebody came up with "the future former Mrs. So-and-so.") Hope you're doing ok.

Sorry to creep on your thread, Wes. There was a thread not too long ago about what songs people sang to their kids...you can probably get some good ideas there. I'll creep out again now. But I'd be happy to answer any medical-type baby questions if you send me a personal message.

Aloha,
Mark


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