BS: conversation stoppers

Subject: conversation stoppers
From: grumpy al
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 04:51 PM

Just a thought about "instant conversation stoppers"

"I put loads of stones in the bag but the kittens kept floating to the surface"

anyone got any more?

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: bill\sables
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 04:54 PM

"Would you fly on a plane with a Woman Pilot

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:10 PM

Let's discuss the wonderful aroma of piss!

khandu

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Nynia
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:13 PM

At the moment it seems to be, "Hi, my name's Nynia".

LOL


Nynia.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:15 PM

Hi, Nynia! Do you know anything about coelestomy bags?

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Charcloth
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:23 PM

" how about we get naked & rub butts together?"

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Matt_R
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:34 PM

Unfortunately Amos, I do.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: leah--
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:37 PM

cuse me and "who are you,Nynia?" Have we met yet in one of the rooms? And if we have you must have been one of those one night wonders that I have heard sing on Paltalk! Have you tried go to the online help rooms? in order to get everyone reacquainted with you yet again? ;o) Mine conversation stopper is *I dont know what to say here!* lol BTW......hello to you Nynia! nice to seeya here!

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:38 PM

actually said to me once..(and to a woman I was talking to)..."Anyone want to go to a drunken orgy and poker party?"

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:40 PM

"I'm from Mississippi" is pretty effective.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Nynia
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:41 PM

LOL @ Leah

Hi Leah good to see you


Nynia.


:-)

-)

)

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: leah--
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:45 PM

So I have met you then? <<(laughing here)>>

well well

hello...again...hello!

;o) thanks Nynia

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Justa Picker
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:48 PM

"Wow! Your tits are bigger than mine!"
- overheard at a cocktail party by a female addressing a large-framed male guest.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 05:56 PM

Conversational pause produced this at a wine tasting..... could equally have applied to one (or more) of the attendees....

"But it's just SO fruity!!"

I've stopped many a conversation - I just giggle. I've even stopped a few shows!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Sorcha
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 06:19 PM

"When did you stop beating your wife?"

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Morticia
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 06:29 PM

" So, I discovered this great cure the last time I had scabies" or, one of my personal favourites " And how long have you been a woman, now?"

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: grumpy al
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 06:32 PM

how about,

"I had dry leporasy!mit's not contagious.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Matt_R
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 06:33 PM

"Did any of your mother's children live?"

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 06:36 PM

Geeziz......Did you ever see a booger this big?
If you throw up, I got dibs on the big chunks.
HOOO-WEEEE......that feels like a wet one!

Bodily functions are always winners. Karen is always pissed at the things I'll say at times and she tries to be polite in conversation. Sometimes though, things just come out without thinking and Karen stopped a conversation dead one evening at a party. Remember that she is a lab tech and deals with removed body parts all the time.

We were in a large group and it had been a bad day for all it seemed. Everyone was telling their tales and we were all getting some laughs over things that had happened. Karen suddenly and unusually jumped in and said, "We had a 4 pound uterus today." I don't remember any silence so silent as that one. It only lasted a few seconds and we all cracked up, including Karen. The conversation then went to possible uses for the big ute! Todd and I eventually cranked out an entire impromptu routine as though we were two guys fishing for one.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 06:43 PM

Ah, glad to see the mercury cure worked.....

usually does it.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 06:49 PM

This very day...while walking with my 16 yr. old daughter and discussing her very sweet relationship with her very sweet boyfriend ... I asked her what she wanted for her birthday which is coming up soon and she answered "a copy of the Kama Sutra" ... stopped me dead in my tracks. LL

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 07:12 PM

AW, SPAW! I am dumbstruck!

I'm not certain; was that a put down of Mississippi?

Surely not!! {:-P

khandu

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 08:05 PM

Ya' know, I once knew a girl named Shirley Knott, but she did and pretty often too.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Morticia
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 10:18 PM

I once knew a guy called Nicholas Alcock.....he wasn't.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: campfire
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 10:38 PM

I once worked as a file clerk, and filed a case involving a pending divorce. Seems the Mrs. thought Mr. Goodenough wasn't.

campfire

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: flattop
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 11:09 PM

Back when the Goode Brothers played autoharp and guitar at the Penny Farthing on warm summer nights in Yorkville, two hippy girls sat at our table. One of them immediately asked me, "What is your sign?" I didn't believe in astrology but I told her anyway. She replied, "Geminis are a good fuck." I was at a loss for words when I wanted to shout, "I believe! I believe!"

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: flattop
Date: 10 Feb 01 - 11:31 PM

When my brother taught health in a school in Eastern Canada they promote a dumb idea that we should sleep with our windows open. A kid in the class was troubled because he slept with his uncle and his uncle wasn't going to keep the window open in freezing Canadian winters.

Then one day the kid tells my brother that he slept with the window open the night before. My brother asks the kid how he was able to pull it off. The kid answers, "My father was away so my uncle slept with my mother."

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Hobie
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 01:31 AM

.....and when i came to, there was blood everywhere...

Hobie

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: bob jr
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 01:45 AM

have you personally accepted christ the lord as the one true savior? i have some pamphlets from my church you should look at.....

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Sorcha
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 01:48 AM

HI! My name's (insert here). Ya'll know Rocky Top? Hey, anybody know Danny Boy? (St. Pats commin' up--brace yourselves........)

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 02:28 AM

I once briefly dated a woman who was attractive, enthusiastic, and as dumb as a sack of turnips. A friend of mine invited me over for dinner, and I brought Sherry. We were discussing our favorite films and directors (at least my friend, his wife and I were) when there was a sudden pause in the conversation. That's when Sherry piped up with "Wow! Sounds like an art form!"

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Monashee
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 04:38 AM

~did anyone else notice the food seemed a bit off?~

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Inukshuk
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 06:36 AM

I'm with Spaw on this. Last night at suppertime my five year old granddaughter came out with this gem. "I pulled a really big booger out of my nose, and it was purple." Bon appetite.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: bill\sables
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 08:07 AM

When my daughter was small she came in and said "I've been playing with the dogs little red thing". We were so relieved when we saw the dog had a little red barrel with it's name inside attached to its collar.
When we had the car accident on boxing day last year I crawled out of the car and went to a house with a light in the window and the curtains open. I tapped on the window and the family inside, who were watching TV, had an instant look of horror on their faces. I didn't realise till they asked me in that my face was covered in blood and my usually white beard was stained red. They instantly lost interest in the TV programme they were watching.
Bill

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Mooh
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 08:37 AM

"Did we meet in your wet dream or mine?"

"Really, I've been good since I got outa prison."

Just waiting for people to notice that I drool alot seems to have that effect too.

Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: DonMeixner
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 09:48 AM

One valentines day when my daughter, the brilliant Rebekkah asked me,

" Dad, when you were 18 what did you want to get from a girl."

I just dead panned her until she realized what she had said, she said "Oh." Turned red and ran from the kitchen.

When I was in the Boatyard one of my jobs was sand blasting hulls prior to painting. We used Black Beauty BB Blast which always covered me with a dark gray dust. I walked home for lunch and because I was going right back at in a half hour I didn't shower but ate sandwiches with Bekkah on the porch and headed back to work. When I got home that evening my wife told about little blond Bekkah in the check out line at the store looking at her 3.5 year old arms and asking,

"Mommy. how come Daddy is so black and I'm so white?"

This silenced fours aisles of shoppers in the Baldwinsville P&C.

Don

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: walkinman
Date: 11 Feb 01 - 09:56 AM

"...lets's face it, God created women because sheep can't cook."

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Pseudolus
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:35 AM

I had a similar situation to Don's with my kid "speaking her mind" at a grocery store. We were behind an unusually large woman when my daughter said, "Dad, that lady has a big butt...." I thought the worst was over but when the woman turned around to see if it was her that Mandy was talking about, Mandy said while pointing, "Well, she does!!!!"

Maybe, embarrassing things your kids have done is a thread all its own.....

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 09:41 AM

"I play folk music."

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Kim C
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 10:13 AM

Saying you're a reenactor to someone who doesn't give a flip about history is a good one.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 10:13 AM

It is alledged that when I was young around the 12th of July time the bands and Orangemen were going past when I announced to my parents "I don't like those orange bands". My mother was horrified, wondering where on earth I had heard such a thing, when I continued "I like the blue ones, and the red ones though". Well, blue was always my favourite colour.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: GUEST,Les B
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 11:47 AM

"Does this ringing in my head bother you ?"

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: kendall
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 02:43 PM

I came from a bluegrass festival, forgot about the wrist band. Went into a store, where a strange lady asked if I had been in the hospital. I replied "Yes, but, I'm ok if I remember to take the pills for the voices" she didnt ask anymore questions.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Mr Red
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 03:19 PM

a very nice chap said to me recently after a very eudite expose on the origins of (er lets say Pace Egging Songs) and he replied, "Of course you might be confusing me with someone who gives a toss!" Not used it myself yet but I am POISED!

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: MMario
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 03:23 PM

Two that used to stop conversations (about once a week) in my student apartment during college:

"Damn, the boa's loose again!"

"Has anyone seen Emily?" (Emily was the tarantula)

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: grumpy al
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 04:18 PM

Really the beagles do enjoy smoking.

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Helen
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 04:44 PM

Liz-t-s,

Have you seen a really clever book by Ronald Searles called Winespeak. It's illustrations of the language used to describe wine but applied to people. It's very funny.

One of the people is "fruity". I'll have to scan it in and send it to you.

When I lived in this house 25 years ago - when I rented it as a student, before I moved to various other houses, and then bought it 3 years ago - we shared the house with a young woman named Maria who had psychiatric problems. She was very good at dropping non sequiturs into conversations and totally stopping everyone from talking. But one day a friend of ours was here, and she had been rehearsing West Side Story for a few weeks.

As our flatmate wandered vaguely through the kitchen, past the table where we were all sitting, my friend absentmindedly started singing "What do you do with a problem like Maria?"

We were all gobsmacked, waitng for Maria to react but it went straight over her head - luckily.

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 05:29 PM

Er, don't you mean the Sound of Music?? Or have you just met a nun called Maria.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall)
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 07:15 PM

At dinner, excuse yourself for a couple minutes and when you return to the table, announce; "Yup, just something about a good old-fashioned corn-shit that makes you proud to be an American"

Rich

Subject: RE: BS: conversation stoppers
From: wdyat12
Date: 12 Feb 01 - 08:51 PM

Aside from this observation, Rich I'd say you stopped this conversation for an hour and 45 minutes with that one. wdyat12