Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Nov 21 - 04:25 AM

oops, I forgot to add this Of All the Ways Clothing Is Gendered, Pockets Are the Most Ridiculous

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Nov 21 - 07:48 PM

Great links, Sandra, thank you!

I've checked them all out, and found this very useful resource as well: Dresses With Pockets

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Nov 21 - 11:53 PM

'tis indeed.

one of my current projects it to put patch pockets on my 2 new summer dresses, can't use an in-seam pocket as I did for another summer dress.

Having spent winter wearing pocketed fleece waistcoats, & pocketed jackets, where do I put my tissue, keys or my train ticket? Of course I also have a bag, but why should I dig around every time I need something ...

pockets rule!

so, what's your next song?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 15 Nov 21 - 04:10 PM

Good question, Sandra. There are a fair few I've written this year that I've not done anything with yet. The one I think I'll work on next is about when a loved one has dementia. I have the words, but no tune yet. Then again, things come up unexpectedly (as Sir Gav did! Nothing like a deadline to motivate... ;-) )

And Joe, yes; pockets are preciousss!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Nov 21 - 06:27 PM

my preciouss! new pocket has a black background with white-eyed grey cartoon cats wandering about lines of grey music, must ask a muso friend to play the tune.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 15 Nov 21 - 06:29 PM

Sounds very cool, Sandra.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Nov 21 - 06:49 PM

The world is waiting to see the lyrics for Vikki's latest, greatest hit: "Find Every Ballot"!! (or something like that)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Nov 21 - 07:07 PM

latest from our Federal govt is a straight copy from Trump's USA - an attempt to stop "voter fraud" by legislating that voters carry ID. But as we all know Scott Morrison (shown at his best at COP26) was/is? a close friend of Trump.

Fears voter ID laws before Parliament will disenfranchise most vulnerable The Australian Electoral Commission estimates that during the 2019 election, the rate of multiple voting was 0.03 percent ... It told an inquiry into the election that multiple voting is "by and large a very small problem", and usually involves mental health issues rather than deliberate fraud ...

I might mention this ballot problem to songwriting friends.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Nov 21 - 10:37 PM

Thanks, Joe! But it's actually from a year ago...

I wrote this a day or two after the 2020 US presidential election (before Joe had started this thread for me), and stumbled across it yesterday when I was trying to come up with something to sing at my Monday zoom sessions. I'm pretty sure I sang it at one of the Mudcat zooms last November, and in general I try not to repeat songs, but I decided to shamelessly drag it back out, with the excuse that it's (roughly) the anniversary of the events which led to my writing it. ;-)

Find Every Ballot
to the tune of Climb Every Mountain
©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Nov 2020

Find every ballot
Near or remote
Absentee or early
Please count every vote

Find every ballot
Search every poll
Honor every voter
Justice is our goal

A goal we extol
In the land of the free
For it's your right to vote
Though you may not agree... with me.

Expats and soldiers
Black, white and gay
Country folk and city
All deserve their say

Count every ballot
Bring more caffeine
Honor every voter
Justice is our dream

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Nov 21 - 10:47 PM

And while I'm at it...

I wrote this in response to the 2016 US presidential election. It's to the tune of Si Kahn's "Aragon Mill" except for the last verse, which is to the tune of "After the Ball".

What Have We Done?
to the tune of Aragon Mill and After the Ball
©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Nov 2016

On November the 8th, as I try not to weep
The election is close; it's so scary I can't sleep
And the chorus that I hear, now that hatred has won,
Is a sad, worried wail, crying "What have we done?"

Now the polls have shut down; there are tidings of woe
Tell us where can we go, tell us where can we go?
And the chorus that I hear...

All my friends' facebook posts can't believe that it's true
Tell me what will we do, tell me what will we do?
And the chorus that I hear...

And there's no hope at all, just a sense of despair
Once Obama is gone, dear God, how will we fare?
And the chorus that I hear...

In the town of DC, where the sirens are shrill
There's a new head man heading for Capitol Hill...

After the poll is over
After the voters gone
After the years campaigning
Endless commercials on
Many a heart is aching
Many's the anguished soul
Many the hopes that have vanished
After the poll...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Nov 21 - 11:45 PM

Sandra, Boris Johnson and the Tories are pulling the same s*** here in the UK, even though the incidences of voter fraud here are similarly tiny.

Trump and co have a LOT to answer for.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 Nov 21 - 01:04 AM

I didn't know that, but am I surprised?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 17 Nov 21 - 10:18 PM

Are you surprised?
I don't know... does Trump have a kind bone in his body?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Nov 21 - 02:24 AM

NO

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 12:07 AM

I'd already written a parody of It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To (after the US elections in November 2020; see the first post in this thread), and don't normally write more than one parody to the same tune, but in this case a UK version was just begging to be written...

Background for those who don't live in the UK:
It turns out that last year (2020) while the rest of the UK was in lockdown and celebrating Christmas alone, avoiding parties and not visiting their families – even those in hospitals, dying alone – Boris Johnson and most of the Downing Street crew were having Christmas parties right and left (after wisely but hypocritically ordering the country not to).

When this info started leaking out, of course the first thing Johnson & co did was deny it. However, when photos started emerging, they maintained that they were all "working"– but "just happened to have some wine and cheese on hand" (and a lovely catered buffet!) to keep things cheery.

Although other people who broke the rules and held parties in Dec 2020 ended up receiving very large fines indeed, the Metropolitan Police (a.k.a. "The Met") have declined to investigate this particular breach of the law. The Home Secretary, when asked why not, explained that it was in the past and that the police "don't investigate things that have happened in the past". (I am not making this up!)

The reference to wallpaper is because one of the first things Johnson and his girlfriend (now wife) did, once he was in office, was redecorate No 10 at great expense (for example, £840/~$1,140 per roll of wallpaper, in spite of which the result was not exactly fetching), but it's ok because the taxpayers didn't foot the bill; instead a rich Tory donor paid for it all. We're sure he expects nothing in return.

Party? What Party? I’ll Lie If I Want To
To the tune of It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Dec 2021

I held a party in secret last year,
Thought everything would be fine
Some lousy snitch let everyone know,
Now I’m in trouble, big-time!

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to,
lie if I want to, lie if I want to
You always knew I was lying to you

Covid 19 had been spreading like mad
’Cos I locked down way too late
Why should I care if old people die?
Saves lots of dough for the state

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...

I told the peasants to cancel their fun,
Lock down and sit in their homes
Then had a spree with vino and cheese
While masses died all alone

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...

There was no party and we broke no rules,
Just wanted colleagues to see
Our new wallpaper and hey, anyway
Rules don’t apply to little me

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...

Can’t understand why you’re all so upset,
Let’s just pretend it’s not true
Please don’t forget to castrate The Met,
Say it’s too old to pursue

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 04:47 PM

another good song!

the site you linked to didn't like Ad-blockers, so I closed the window & went looking using Interior Decorator Ms Google - OMG, I've just wasted at least half an hour of my life I won't get back. A lounge in the same pattern as the wall?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 05:04 PM

Sandra, I know... you couldn't pay me enough to live in that room (then again, £840 per roll of wallpaper might tempt me...).
The mind boggles at how much it must have cost to create something so unattractive.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Jan 22 - 03:14 AM

give me £840 & I'll buy enough rolls of decent patterns for lotsa' houses!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 02:37 AM

LOL... Indeed!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 30 Jan 22 - 09:19 PM

I've been the guest on a podcast called "Handed Down", talking about "Poor Boy", a song I learned from my mom (so... not a song I've written, but a song I sing, so I'm hoping it "qualifies" for this thread. ;-) )

Here's the description of 'my' episode:
There's a lot going on in this American folk song - a lost love, a fight, jail and a miscarriage of justice. This is a song that has wandered its way around the Southern and Western states of the US and was popularised by Burl Ives. It's found in several versions, including one sung by Vikki Appleton Fielden's mother, which has some unique features. Vikki and I talk about memories of her mother who learned the song at a coffee house and sang it at concerts and family gatherings alike.

We also chat about the joy of singing Broadway songs, folk dancing, being a Yankee in Yorkshire, and what it's really like to record at the iconic Abbey Road Studios.

This is a bumper episode, but it's full of all kinds of interesting stuff. If you want to hear a Bulgarian folk song here's your opportunity. We also get to hear snippets of a couple of Vikki's hilarious parody songs, and a more sober song of modern times.

But can you solve the mystery of the song's bridge? It can't be found anywhere on the internet, so where is it from? Send us a tweet if you know! @handeddownpod

It's hosted by Jenny Shaw, who is knowledgeable, a lovely singer herself and a good interviewer. The podcast started in Sept '21 and you can find the other episodes here: "Handed Down"

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 08:11 PM

We Zoom
To the tunes of Blue Moon and (last verse) The Parting Glass
new words by Vikki Appleton Fielden, written for the occasion of The 100th Mudcat Worldwide Sing

We zoom... sing a song, play a tune
From our different rooms
As we banish the gloom

We zoom... we know just what we are here for
It is the music we cheer for
And that we open our ears for

And now one hundred times we've met together
To have a laugh and sing a song
And many are the themes we've weathered
They keep our community strong

We zoom... sing a song, play a tune
From our different rooms
As we banish the gloom

Of all the songs on zoom I've crooned
I've sung them in good company
You lovely lot have kept me sane (nearly!)
Amidst the lockdown lunacy
We meet each week, from near and far
We talk and laugh and have a ball
Mudcatters are an act that's class
My thanks, and joy be with you all

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 09:05 PM

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace
to the tune of Buckingham Palace (lyrics by A. A. Milne, music by Harold Fraser-Simson)
new words written by Vikki Appleton Fielden to commemorate Queen Elizabeth's Platinum (70 years) Jubilee in June 2022


They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
The Queen put on the Royal Crown
"It's time for a party in London Town," Says Alice.

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
The Red Arrows flew and everyone cheered.
"And Louis made faces and covered his ears" Says Alice.

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
The Queen had tea with Paddington Bear.
"But why weren't Pooh and Piglet there?" Says Alice.

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
Boris and Carrie were met with boos
"Winnie the Pooh would've booed him too," Says Alice.

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
Remember the parties at number 10.
"Time for a different PM then," Says Alice.

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
The Queen put on the Royal Crown
"They all love a party in London Town," Says Alice.

========

Notes/References:
Photos of 6-yr-old Prince Louis making faces & covering his ears as the Red Arrows fly overhead

Video of the Red Arrows Flypass Over Buckingham Palace

Absolutely charming video of Queen Elizabeth having tea with Paddington Bear

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 09:16 PM

Nobody Coming to Hire Me
to the tune of Nobody Coming to Marry Me (a.k.a. "The Hedger & Ditcher Song")
New words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden (can't remember when I wrote this; maybe ten years ago...)

   My father's a graphic designer
   my mother does nothing but shop
   I'm brilliant at media studies
   But still I cannot get a job
        Oh dear, what shall become of me
        Oh dear, what shall I be
        There's nobody coming to hire me
        No-one to read my CV

   I took 27 A-levels
   I put them all on my CV
   That ought to be bloody impressive
   So what if I only passed three

   I thought if I went to the Uni
   and learned to sleep late and drink beer
   That's all I would need for to find me
   A well-paying, easy career

   Oh, must I die on the dole
   Oh dear, how shocking the thought
   There's nobody coming to hire me
   Surely it's not me own fault

   But even tho I lack employment
   And worked me poor fingers to bone
   At end of the story I'm laughin'
   Cos I'll never pay off me loan

Folkie verse:
   My father's a mandolin player
   my mother does nothing but sing
   I've got a degree in folk music
   So why does the phone never ring
        Oh dear, what shall become of us
        Why can't we make it big
        There's nobody coming to hire us
        No-one to give us a gig

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 19 Jul 22 - 08:26 PM

Ice Cream Weather
©199? Vikki Appleton Fielden
Not sure when I wrote this; it was during a heatwave in the 90's when I was living in the Detroit area.

A very rough recording can be heard here: Ice Cream Weather

Now the days are hot and humid
and the air is thick and damp
At night I sit in darkness,
Cos it's too hot with a lamp
And it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather (get other singers to echo this line while you hold the last note/syllable of the previous line)
Yes, it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather

Every hour's long and lazy
All I wanna do is sit
With a scoop of cold and creamy
Roll my tongue all over it
Cos it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather
Yes, it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather

Don't wanna walk, or move, or talk
Or read or sleep or soothe or sigh
Feelin' a slow small salty drop of sweat
Silently crawl from my neck to my thigh

Got a million things need doin'
But they won't get done today
Today's a day for wastin'
Watch the minutes melt away
Cos it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather
Yes, it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather
Ice cream weather... (everyone together on this last line)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 02 Sep 22 - 07:26 PM

In memoriam of the wonderful Lisa Null, I adapted a simple American song that felt appropriate. I call it Lisa's Freight Train.

Lisa's Freight Train
to the tune of Freight Train by Elizabeth Cotten
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden, July 2022

Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Freight train, freight train, run so fast
While that old train speeds along
Let us sing my joyful song

Sing and dream from dusk to dawn
Charlie helps me carry on
Now I'm dead my songs live on
And my pain is finally gone

Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Freight train, freight train, run so fast
While that old train speeds along
Let us sing my joyful song

While I lived I sang my songs
Sang them loud and sang them strong
Asked the world to sing along
Share my song when I am gone

Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Freight train, freight train, run so fast
While that old train speeds along
We will sing my final song
While that old train speeds along
Let us sing my joyful song

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 02 Sep 22 - 07:32 PM

This one is in response to more sad news: the passing of Juel Ulven – another extraordinary folkie who shared his love of folk music and touched countless lives.

I adapted an old trad song (because Juel loved old trad songs) in his honour. The festival referred to in the song is the Fox Valley Folk Festival, which takes place in a lovely park on an island in the Fox River, and was one of countless folk projects founded by Juel.

His Name Was Juel
to the tune of The Galway Shawl
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden, August 2022

At Lake Geneva in old Kane County
On a pleasant island one autumn day
I spied a fellow behind the sound desk
His lovely festival took my breath away

His name was Juel, he was a diamond
He shared his music with one and all
Now all Fox Valley mourn his finale
Though no one knows how he did it all

He brought us singing, barn dances, stories
He taught so many to love them too
Though we will miss him, his lines will linger
The gifts he gave us will see us through

His name was Juel, he was our diamond
His gift of music did us enthrall
Now all Fox Valley mourn his finale
But we'll remember what he gave us all

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: leeneia
Date: 03 Sep 22 - 01:40 PM

Hi, Vikki. Those are great songs all, but my favorite is 'Ice Cream Weather.' I have an electric scooter that needed to run some, so yesterday the DH and I went for ice cream at 3 in the afternoon - a totally unheard of thing for us to do.

Once I read a book about death in the family, written by a hospital chaplain. She said that if a child loses a parent, take the child out for ride and then have ice cream. Pay no attention to family strictures on what to eat. Ice cream is for comfort.
======
I also like your line, "His name was Juel, he was our diamond."

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 04 Sep 22 - 12:59 AM

Thanks very much, leeenia.

Are you familiar with Galway Shawl? If so, you'll know that the original line was "She wore no jewels, no fancy diamonds".

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: HuwG
Date: 07 Sep 22 - 03:45 PM

I have just finished reading "The Steal" by Mark Bowden and Matthew Teague (Grove Press UK, ISBN 9781611854299)

Yorkshire Yankee's lyrics seem remarkably restrained.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Sep 22 - 06:45 PM

Well, Huw, they were written within days of the event, when we knew just a fraction of what we know now...

Sounds like a very interesting (and chilling) book.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Mo the caller
Date: 14 Sep 22 - 05:22 PM

Just read the comments about pockets.
I agree, but what gets me mad is the fact that men can have shoes the shape of their feet, and most of those sold for women are anything but.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 14 Sep 22 - 07:44 PM

Amen Mo!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Oct 22 - 12:52 AM

Lillibet's Gone
to the tune of Lavender's Blue
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Sept 2022

Lavender's blue, dilly, dilly
Lavender's green
There's a new King, dilly, dilly
We've lost our Queen

How many years, dilly dilly
Did our Liz reign?
70 years dilly dilly
Somehow stayed sane

What happens now, dilly dilly
Now that she's gone?
Charlie is King dilly dilly
He'll carry on

With his true love dilly dilly
Here's the report
Camilla dear, dilly dilly
Is Queen Consort

How will you mourn dilly dilly?
Watch BBC
Nothing else on dilly dilly
But royalty

Summer is past, dilly, dilly
Swifts on the wing
Lillibet's gone, dilly, dilly
God save the King

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 17 Oct 22 - 08:27 AM

> men can have shoes the shape of their feet

My first thought on seeing that was "Winklepickers", but at least wearing those was a style choice. Standing by for corrections on whether they were available in a double-E width.

I hereby nominate "winklepickers" as the Naughty Word of the Week.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 26 Oct 22 - 04:22 PM

This song was inspired by the political turmoil I'm seeing in both of my "home" countries – the US and the UK. Political disagreements are driving friends and families apart. How do we find a way to talk about these things without calling each other stupid and/or evil? How do we find a way "home" – to a place where we see the people we disagree with as friends and family, rather than enemies?

A very rough recording can be heard here: How Do We Find a Way Home?

How Do We Find a Way Home?
©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Oct 2022

You work hard all bloody week
Still can't pay for food and heat
Is your life much better now?
Honestly, please tell me how.

How do we find?
How do we find?
How do we find a way home?
How do we find?
How do we find?
How do we find a way home?

(I) love my country and I love my kids
That's why I voted the way I did
(But) now I'm worried we're out of control
Yelling at each other and digging a hole

Chorus

Can you be smart yet swallow lies?
Can you live with a compromise?
(We) jumped off a bridge without a net
Now, can you forgive? Can I forget?

If I leave my pride behind,
Is it safe to change my mind?
If I admit that I was wrong,
Am I weak or am I strong?

If I don't say what you want to hear,
Will you listen? Will you care?
Will you mock and watch me fall?
If you do, God help us all.

Chorus
Repeat last line

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 05 Feb 23 - 11:59 PM

I wrote this song back in the 90's; I was attending Augusta College's (in West Virginia) wonderful Vocal Week, and taking a songwriting class led by Bob Franke. He went around the room asking people what they wanted to get from the class; when it was my turn, I said that I had a tendency to write songs that were clever and wordy, and I'd like to write something simple and moving. "Write something from a child's point of view," he said. This was the result.

As a kid, I did actually climb onto a step-stool and drop a jar full of peanut butter to see if it would break (it's "jelly" in the song because "peanut butter" was too many syllables). I had seen the word "shatterproof" on the label, and – not clear on the distinction between "shatterproof" and "unbreakable" – been wondering about it for months, thinking "It sure looks like it would break!" Finally, one afternoon when Mom wasn't home, I decided I had to test it out. When it broke, I was quite disappointed, and decided it was just another case of false advertising.

When she got home, Mom was pretty good about it: "Vikki, why? she asked.

"It said shatterproof!" I complained.

She left it at that. Thanks Mom!

As usual, a very rough recording can be heard on SoundCloud: Hold On Tight

Hold On Tight
©~1992? Vikki Appleton Fielden

After Mom and Dad have tucked me in at night
I sneak out a book and find my old flashlight
Or I lie real quiet 'cos my dolls watch me
They wait to walk and talk until I'm fast asleep

Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so

Mom buys jelly in a jar that's shatterproof
But the label doesn't really tell the truth
I stood on a chair and let the jelly fall
Now it's on the floor and on the kitchen wall

Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so

Yesterday at recess in a dodgeball game
Girls against the boys, it always ends the same
Katherine, the shyest one, was standing quietly
Jimmy whipped the ball and hit her right below the knees
Kathy fell onto her knees and never made a sound
Hands pressed to her mouth and the tears rollin' down
Daddy says that cryin' is a baby thing to do
But if it was me, I know that I'd cry too

Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so

Did you ever dream that when the sun goes down
Gravity is gone and you can't reach the ground?
Everything gets smaller as you float away
Higher up and higher till you're lost in outer space

Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so

Mama runs her fingers through my hair
Daddy doesn't like to see me cry
I know they love me, but
I don't know why

Now I see you drifting far away from me
Should I hold on tight or should I let you be
Hold me in your arms and tell me not to cry
and we will pretend that everything's all right

Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so
Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Jul 24 - 08:11 PM

A bit late; didn't realise I hadn't posted this one yet...

You're So Indicted
TTO I'm so Excited
new words by Vikki Appleton Fielden, 8 Aug 2023

Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen
Tonight we'll make sure you end up inside
Give up this time and try some introspection
We're goin' to take measures; you'll be fried

We want to hold you
Jail you
Wrap the law around you
Want to squeeze you
Tease you
Till you've had enough
And if you move too slow
Won't let you go...

You're so indicted
You just can't hide it
You already lost control and you can't abide it
You're so indicted
You just can't hide it
And we know
We know
We know
We know
We're gonna taunt you
Haunt you

You shouldn't even think about tomorrow
Your villainy is vast, so are your crimes
You're such a big crybaby, but don't worry
We'll make sure that
You finally do some time

You're so indicted
You just can't hide it
You already lost control and you can't abide it
You're so indicted
You just can't hide it
And we know
We know
We know
We know
We're gonna haunt you
Haunt you

Video here

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 19 Aug 24 - 12:27 AM

In honour of Kamala Harris inviting Tim Walz to join her on the Democratic ticket:

Walzing With Tim
TTO Walzing With Bears
by Vikki Appleton Fielden © Aug 2024        

She went to his state in the middle of July
And then the campaign it was ready to fly
For even though T and co try to deny
You have to admit Tim’s an excellent guy

They made up some lies and said Tim was no good
That he left the Guard before he really should
But all those who know him say he never could
And women prefer him to a bear in the woods

Wa-wa-wa wa-wa-wa walzing with Tim
Charming, disarming, alarming T’s crew
There’s nothing a weirdo like Donald can do
To keep us from walzing, wa-wa-wa-walzing
Keep us from walzing, walzing with Tim.

Now T’s picked a peach to be his loyal Veep
A man who thinks cat ladies' lives are all bleak
And if you are childless you must be a freak
Can’t wait to hear who he’ll be dissing next week

T begged and he pleaded for Biden to go
And then when he did T said “Say it ain’t so!"
And says that it's cheating, well what do you know?
Who could have predicted a fit he would throw?

Wa-wa-wa wa-wa-wa walzing with Tim
Charming, disarming, alarming T’s crew
There’s nothing a weirdo like Donald can do
To keep us from walzing, wa-wa-wa-walzing
Keep us from walzing, walzing with Tim.

Tim said T was weird, which made poor Donny fret
I think poor old Don is beginning to sweat
And even becoming a trifle upset
Let's teach him a Walz he will never forget

Wa-wa-wa wa-wa-wa walzing with Tim
Charming, disarming, alarming T’s crew
There’s nothing a weirdo like Donald can do
To keep us from walzing, wa-wa-wa-walzing
Keep us from walzing, walzing with Tim.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: leeneia
Date: 21 Aug 24 - 12:56 PM

Thanks for the songs, Vikki. Such intelligent observations decorated with clever rhymes.

Your story about dodgeball reminds me of how, when I got the chance, I signed up for swim rather than P.E. for six semesters. In swim class nobody throws anything at you.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 29 Aug 24 - 04:26 PM

Thank you so much, leeneia! That's very kind.

As for signing up for swimming instead of P.E. – very wise!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 31 Aug 24 - 04:44 PM

Just realised this parody is not already in this thread (though it is on Mudcat).

Grey Flannel Line
(a sewing chantey by Carol Tawney, "discovered" by Vikki Appleton Fielden around 2002)

I work my shift, day after day
Sew thermal undies, all in grey
Perhaps pyjamas, now and then
But then it's back to kecks again
It's one more day on the grey flannel line

Don't mind the grain nor an open seam
A button fly never worries me
But the dullest time in a boring day
Is to watch the knickers roll away
It's one more day on the grey flannel line

No silks or satins do I sew
Them pants and vests, they come and go
Even when corsets roll on by
It's still so boring I could cry
Just one more stay on the grey flannel line

Oh Lord, if dreams were only real
I'd get my hands on some satin teal
Make racy shreds to help me score
And work the grey flannel line no more

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 23 Sep 24 - 03:08 PM

New song, inspired by a theme of "kettles" ("assigned" by a weekly zoom I participate in).
I've used the tune from the children's rhyme Polly Put the Kettle On, but sort of switched around; the verses are the B part of the tune and the choruses are the (better-known) A part.

A bit of background, for those not familiar with "kettling":
Defined as "confinement by police of a group of demonstrators or protesters in a small area, as a method of crowd control", this can be a rather brutal tactic, as it can last for many hours and the people inside the police cordon usually have no access to food, water or toilets (I read of an instance where one desperate person resorted to peeing where they stood, and was then arrested for public indecency). The tactic is supposed to be used when crowds are getting out of hand, but has more than once been used on protestors who were completely peaceful (the 'justification' being that they were 'protecting' the peaceful demonstrators by preventing not-so-peaceful others from joining them).

These cordons also often end up containing people who happened to be passing by and had nothing to do with the protest. In one particularly notable case, "Ian Tomlinson, a newspaper seller who had been trying to find a route home past police cordons forming kettles around the Bank of England, was pushed to the ground by a Met officer... Tomlinson, a father of nine, posed no threat... [and] collapsed and died less than three minutes later..." (This quote is from a 2011 Guardian article: "A history of police kettling".)

Kettling has been less in the news lately, but the British government has continued to chip away at the right to peaceful protest; as just one example, the Policing Act bill of 2022 includes usefully vague prohibitions on being "disruptive" and "noisy" which in effect allow police to make it up as they go along... (More info on that bill here)

Bobby* Put the Kettle On
TTO Polly Put the Kettle On (verse = B part; chorus = A part)
Vikki Appleton Fielden ©22/9/24

Polly went to London Town
Saw a protest going down
Ended up inside a ring
Couldn’t leave for anything

Bobby he will kettle you, kettle you, kettle you
Bobby he will kettle you
You’ll get no tea

Couldn’t eat or drink or pee
But the coppers all agree
They were just ‘protecting’ her
Should the very worst occur

Bobby he will kettle you, kettle you, kettle you
Bobby he will kettle you
You’ll get no tea

Ian was in London too
Tried to find a pathway through
But a bobby knocked him down
Now he’s dead and in the ground

Bobby he will kettle you, kettle you, kettle you
Bobby he will kettle you
You’ll get no tea

Pay attention girls and boys
(For) if you’re making too much noise
Even if you’re peaceful now
They can say you’re not allowed

Bobby he will kettle you, kettle you, kettle you
Bobby he will kettle you
You’ll get no tea
Forget your tea
Goodbye tea

*In the UK, "Bobby" = policeman — a nickname (along with "peeler") inspired by British PM Robert Peel, who set up London's Metropolitan Police Force in 1829 and is considered the father of modern British policing.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Sep 24 - 07:24 PM

Gosh, that's awful, Vikki. I had no idea.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 30 Sep 24 - 05:09 PM

Thanks, Guest! Are you someone I know?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 30 Sep 24 - 05:38 PM

Here's a song I had forgotten about (until it showed up in my fb memories last week), inspired by reading that apparently "The Rapture" was supposed to happen on Sept 24 2017.

AFTER THE RAPTURE
Vikki Appleton Fielden ©Sept 24 2017

After the Rapture, oh won't it be wonderful
After the Rapture, won't it be grand
After the Rapture, oh won't it be heavenly
After the Rapture, we'll all understand

For so many years, I've heard stories of miracles
I know that the chosen will all disappear
The faithful are waiting for Lord Jesus' summoning
And after the Rapture, it'll all become clear

After the Rapture, oh won't it be wonderful
After the Rapture, won't it be grand
After the Rapture, oh won't it be heavenly
After the Rapture, we'll all understand

They say that the endtime will be hell on earth
But I cannot help thinking it won't be that bad
When so many Christian fanatics evaporate
The rest of us left here might not be that sad

After the Rapture, oh won't it be wonderful
After the Rapture, won't it be grand
After the Rapture, oh won't it be heavenly
After the Rapture, we'll all understand

Goodbye Jerry Falwell, so long Oral Roberts
Farewell Billy Graham and all of your kind
The world will be gentler without your lot in it
To stir up the hatred you find so divine

After the Rapture, oh won't it be wonderful
After the Rapture, won't it be grand
After the Rapture, oh won't it be heavenly
After the Rapture, we'll all understand

Imagine the world without fine Christian zealots
The ones who oppress in the Lord Jesus' name
If God should deliver us from sweet Christian malice
Then glory hallelujah! I'll gladly proclaim

After the Rapture, oh won't it be wonderful
After the Rapture, won't it be grand
After the Rapture, oh won't it be heavenly
After the Rapture, we'll all understand

BTW, to my Christian friends: this song is *not* directed at *all* Christians – just the ones who use the excuse of their religion as a stick with which to beat those they disagree with/disapprove of.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 15 Oct 24 - 06:15 PM

Another parody I wrote a while ago — a sort of updating of The Blacksmith.

A Goldsmith Courted Me
to the tune of The Blacksmith
Vikki Appleton Fielden © ~Aug 2015

A goldsmith courted me nine months and better
He defo won my heart, tagged me on twitter
With his hammer in his hand, without his kit, love
And so I saved his pic, 'cos he looked so fit, love

Strange news on facebook now about my lover
Strange news is all around, he loves another
I wish them both much joy; no, I'm not bitter
But they're in for a surprise when they look at Twitter

Don't you remember when we lay together
You said you loved me so, and would forever
If I said that I love you, it was only for to bed you
So bring your witness love, and perhaps I'll wed you

Oh, witness have I none, but on my mobile
That pic you sexted me just might go viral
Well if it does, my dear, though I don't mean to fright you
I've pictures of my own which may not delight you

A goldsmith courted me nine months and better
He fairly won my heart, tagged me on Twitter.
He turned out to be a lout who did not wish to anchor
But even worse than that, He was a... banker*


*Note for non-UK folks: "banker" rhymes with/is often used as a euphemism for "wanker"