BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 11:01 AM

A thing of beauty is a joy forever or until the "cheese" melts, whichever comes first.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: Alice
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 11:33 AM

It is a good idea not to eat anything that looks like plastic.

Best thing to do with Velveeta.... leave it on the grocery shelf.

Bon appetit!

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 11:34 AM

On the Spirituality of Velveeta, Cheez Wiz, and other Processed Cheeze Foods...

The creation of the grilled cheese sandwich is a Spiritual thing. It's varieties are endless...timeless, for once the cheese feels the warmth of the pan, it transforms to a substance than CAN be measured in glops. The beauty of the glop is in the eye of the beholder so to speak. The measurement TRANSCENDS the boundaries of race, color, creed and touches the universal conciousness. And while you might say that "it does not come in glops," it's true essence does, for it is of THE ONE....

There is a restaurant in Montreal called Pines. There, after playing many shows at The Yellow Door, we would go there for a midnight snack. Lo and behold we noticed that behind one of the jukebox players on a particular table rested a grilled cheese sandwich. It remained there for 4 years...

But the MIRACULOUS aspect of this story is that the sandwich remained there relatively uncorrupted(if you are a rat or squirrel) PROVING that it was "of God"....

:0) bob

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: bobad
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 11:44 AM

The Pines Pizza Menu for anyone contemplating a fine dining experience.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 11:47 AM

Thanks Rap.

Use number 14 for Velveeta : Disposable sculpting clay. Let kids play with it (can't really say it is nontoxic) then toss it when they are done.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 12:01 PM

I see Pines Pizza serves poutines. I bet that's some culinary experience.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: bobad
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 12:11 PM

"I bet that's some culinary experience."

It certainly is that. It is also highly recommended by invasive cardiologists as it keeps them gainfully employed thus enabling them to meet their yacht payments in these economically troubled times.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 12:35 PM

bobad: The Pines Menu. This is genius level stuff, you folks of British pursuasion...

Now, what would be the COOLEST thing to do? Why, ORDER TAKE OUT of course!

Would somebody in the U.K. please pick up the phone and call Pines. You should hear the response as Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiines...If that happens, see if they'll deliver a grilled cheese sandwich to Heathrow. Then off to an undisclosed location on the outskirts of London. Then you too, Dear Brit, can experience the beauty of Haute Cuisine! And while you're at it, order a poutine, and a Coke.

Enjoy...

bob

p.s. Feel free to order anything that rings your bell from the menu. As Mudcatters, our TASTES would be, uh, somewhat different...

Tell 'em bob sent ya, and that you'll be paying in Pounds Sterling. That will certainly impress them...BR

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 01:38 PM

I love Diet Coke...and Dairylea Cheese...the triangles of course, not that woossssssy stuff that you ladle out of a carton, that's for wimps and brussel sprout eating gorillas!

No..true cheesy eaters salivate for at least 30 minutes whilst trying to find the way in to the silver triangle of paradise.

You start off in one corner, as everything begins to ooze out, so you try another corner..and woops! here it comes again...so you go for the third one..dribbling slightly now, as the hunger pangs and thoughts of the soft and slippery stuff almost start to overwhelm you.

FINALLY you locate the secret entrance, peel off your wrapper, claim your prize...and....

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Phew!

Who'dathought the process of processed could be quite so fulfilling!

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 02:21 PM

I was in-processed and out-processed by the US Army. A comparison to bodily functions is apt.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 07:15 PM

I put a huge block in a tree and noticed very fat squirrels eating it.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 04:24 PM

Do you know that VElveeta does not have to be refrigerated until after you open the foil? They stock it in the refrigerated cheese section to trick you into thinking it is cheese.

Guilty pleasures...a potato chip and mayo sandwich on Wonder Bread.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 05:20 PM

Raw meat in cryovac packaging doesn't have to be refrigerated either, and any cheese in air-tight packaging can be displayed at room temperature.

I am SO easily influenced. I'm almost done making a grilled Velveeta sandwich. Perhaps I should have a lovely green salad with it... nah.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 05 Jan 09 - 05:26 PM

"...after you've been eating steak for a long time,
    Beans, beans taste fine."

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: GUEST,crazy little woman
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 11:15 AM

I don't care for Velveeta myself, but let me tell you, if I had to babysit a little friend or relative for a short time, some Velveeta might really come in handy. Comfort food!

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: PoppaGator
Date: 06 Jan 09 - 01:30 PM

"although i have heard it is a great snack dip mixed with salsa and nuked..."

Actually, the well-known brand-name recipe for tortilla-chip dip is:

Velveeta, plus a can of Rotel brand tomatoes, heat and stir.

The Rotel product is actually a mixture of chopped tomatoes and hot peppers, suspended in a fairly watery tomato-juice stock. When mixed and melted together, this transforms the Velveeta into something that can be spooned, and it's surprisingly edible, even tasty. (Straight-up Velveeta is soft, but definitely solid; it cannot be measured in tablespoons.)

*******************

My current fave grilled cheese sandwich features one slice each of Baby Swiss and Meunster. Ham is optional; if I'm gonna include ham, I'll give it a quick grilling first, before making the sandwiches.

I use real butter to coat the outside of the bread; the hardest part of the whole process is remembering to take the butter out of the fridge early enough (well before lunchtime) so it can be easily, quickly, and thinly spread ~ dotting the bread with chunks of hard butter takes forever, is a pain in the ass, and causes you to use a lot more butter than you would have, had you allowed time for the stuff to become spreadable.

Subject: RE: BS: Best Things to Do With Velveeta,...
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 01:11 AM

Credit must be given for the place of Velveeta in US history.

It is possibly due to the high degree of processing, that under moderate heat there is no separation of whey as with real cheese.

It is this singular characteristic of Velveeta that made possible the "fondue pot," without which the 50s in the US would have had no singular characteristic to distinguish it from adjacent temporal spasms, and thus the entire decade of "the 50s" would simply never have occured.

Absent the 50s culture, we should perhaps never have seen Playboy, sex would still be in comic books hidden in the barn (as in Japan now), no sexual revolution could have occured, the 60s would never have happened, and most (of the elders) here would have had nothing in their early lives to "not remember much of."

Just as the recent Soviet popular poll named J. Stalin as the third most important Russian in history, it is of some importance to remember our history, and the persons, actions, and objects (no matter how nonfunctional or malfunctional) that formed us.

Fortunately, recalling our heritage does not require that we re-live it, and for now about the only good thing I can say for Velveeta, as a reputed "edible" is that you can eat more of it, for a longer time, without getting sick to a state of disability, than is the case for that other poseur - - - SPAM - - - which should be used only for making statues.

John