Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:33 PM

SINSULL,

Nun isn't better than some at all?

Are you sure those black and white things aren't penguins?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:34 PM

If we want to keep them cool, wouldn't it be easier to just sedate the penguins and pluck them? We should be done in a half hour, then we could use the penguin feathers to make some really groovy polar futons.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:41 PM

SINSULL,

If you have nun problems, shouldn't you be going to Dear Abbey?

And will God heed a plea to save you from nuns, brides of Hey Soos?

Nuns are usually a tough order, anyway.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:43 PM

Nuns are the Brides of Zeus?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:46 PM

Those nuns of yours are a thirsty lot. They've finished the Alaska White and are starting in on the amber. And they're joining in on the chorus with that squirrel you hired. Listen:

(Faint sound of "no, nay, never...")

One of 'em's heading for the firepole...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:53 PM

...Don't want nun, can't get nun...

The North Portal is open, next to the bidet in the fourth upstairs bathroom. Want I should bringing in some polar bears to take care of the extra penguins? And are those real flamingos out on the front lawn or plastic ones?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:02 PM

I've fallen an I can't get up. Someone get me out of here. Those nuns stink! Don't they bathe in the convent? I thought cleanliness was next to godliness?

If I am stuck here for the duration, could someone please pass me a large JD on the rocks and a couple of aspirin. I think I have a concussion.


mumble mumble Liz is better at this than me.

Did anyone remember to bring the magic wand from the tavern? Amos may be expecting us to put this all back together. At least you could use it to get me from under the guest house (or what's left of it)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:06 PM

Art, Art, Art, you know those creatures are polar opposites! You'll create another Big Bang if you bring them together in the Mudcat Time Continuum. Geez, didn't they teach you ANYTHING in school? Amos' rinky dink rink won't be big enough for them anyway. And they'd just eat the seal that hangs out with his kayak. He likes that seal. Or sea lion. Whatever.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:07 PM

SINS, use the christmas tree winch to pull that house back up.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:07 PM

(It'll Raise High the Roof Beams. . . )

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:11 PM

Is that black and white lady in the bathroom so long some kind of nuncomepoop?

More animals to get rid of more animals? It's beginning to get a little bit like The Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly.....

But you can tell that they're really Poler Bears because they're heading for that new pole. We may have to get some more poles out of the pole vault, at this rate. Claire, do you speak their language?

If you crossed a penguin with a white bear, would the offspring have a bi-polar disorder?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:13 PM

That's why Polar bears and penguins **are** at sepeate ends of the earth - Mother Nature's way of preventing bi-polar populations.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:22 PM

This is a good lesson: Always consider the possible results before plucking!
I honestly had no idea how much these penguins depended on their feathers for insulation. Look at the poor little naked blighters. It's eighty two degrees out here and they're shivering and covered with goose...I mean penguin bumps. Ok, the only thing to do is to get their blood pumping...here, I'll march them down to the end of the block and back. Somebody run up to Target and get about 32 terrycloth robes, extra small.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:26 PM

Don't yuns guys know nuthin'? With global warming, it won't be cold enough for them at either pole, so they have to meet somewhere in the middle!   San Diego seems like a reasonable compromise.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:28 PM

I decided to make Amos a six-holer. It'll be nice and deep, assuming the charges don't cut water, sewer, gas, electric or other kinds of lines. Anyway...

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:31 PM

Uh oh...do they have oil under southern California, or was that a pipeline?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:36 PM

Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?

Looks like you've managed to create a new tributary to the Intercoastal Waterway. Runs right through Amos's living room.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:37 PM

And with a giant heave, the guest house flies into the neighbor's yard - 1/2 mile away.

I think I need a doctor - either I am seeing little tiny pink elephants or a chorus line of naked nuns. Maybe I will jsut stay here for a while...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:38 PM

Seals Of Approval?

Christmas Seals?

I thought that red kayak was Omar's, the "ruby yacht" he's always talking about......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:41 PM

No, Severn, that's Amos's couch, last seen floating out into the Pacific with the tide and being piloted by several naked, stunned penguins.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:46 PM

SINSULL,

How can you tell they're nuns, if they're naked?

They might've kicked the habit, but can you be sure?

Do you really think you can tell them by sense of smell?....That's a bunch of Nunscents!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:47 PM

Sins has "Nun-dar"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:48 PM

Heard muttering, in Penguinese of course, "Exeunt, pursued by a bear."

And sure enough, there go the polar bears. Phew! That was close! No, I most definitely do NOT speak their language!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:02 PM

Be careful, SINSULL!

They LOOK peaceful enough, but they may be the type who practice Nun-Violence. So if you see one with a ruler, mind your wrists.....


Could they have shed their clothes to remain anunnymous?



They either ARE nuns or AREN'T. You can't habit both ways. But those near-sighted polar bears find them just as tasty as penguins.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:07 PM

I think they overheard Sins' comment about their didtinctive odour and decided it was time to get shed of their nasty habit.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:14 PM

Its about time for them to stop and smell the rosaries.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:21 PM

125 Kg. of C-4 per hole SHOULD have created a really nice six-holer, not this great big huge deep single hole. Let's see...okay, that one checks out...and so does that calcula...AHA!

Ye olde misplaced decimal point!

Well, three places to the left, three to right, what's a teensy little error like that between friends, hmm?

Besides, everybody needs a hole the size of a city block, right?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:54 PM

Listen from the bar, is that Sr. Josephine I hear....
hopefully the police will stay far away from this scene. I'm afraid all that C4 will start terrorist speculation....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:13 PM

Good point. The term "c4" has probably already triggered an investigation of this site by the FBI.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:17 PM

We could all use a little C-5A instead. Amos has a stash somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:35 PM

You need to fill that whole hole with something or someone will fall into it.

Jello, anyone? The largest jello pit in the world, it will even show up on Google Earth (standing in for it is Google Maps, since you may not all have G.E. installed).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:51 PM

Maybe instead of Jell-O we should use first-aid gel, so Severn would have a comfy place to sit and spin his own peculiar brand of punditry.

I'm sure Amos won't mind the giant hole in support of such a worthy cause.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:59 PM

Could someone please reconstruct the back wall to the ladies rest room? It's a tad chilly on the nethers...

Oh, and happy Star Wars Day...





































May the Fourth be with you!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 06:16 PM

I definitely have a concussion. I am hallucinating excruciatingly bad puns and a meteor crater. That green goo is just like the scene out of War of the Worlds.
Don't go in there!
Don't go in there!
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 04 May 09 - 06:38 PM

And the sign says...

Bipolar Disability
Can't Work Due To Bipolar Disorder? Qualify For Disability Income!
www.Allsup.com
Bipolar Treatment Center
Bipolar Treatment Center Caring & Confidential - Call Today


Do computer programs diagnose manic behavior now??

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 06:39 PM

This is playing on Amos' computer that is set to loop through a long playlist at YouTube. I think he's been practicing for something. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 06:41 PM

Mine says "See Bobby Flay Live" -- and I think, see Bobby flay live WHAT? Penguins? Polar bears? Nuns? Giant squid? Severn?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 07:05 PM

Ernie, I see you came decked out as a Cardinals fan.

But what's with the blindfold?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:15 PM

Firing squad. Firing squads always use blindfolds. Generally on the shootee, but with the Legion it's up for grabs. Nothing like a blindfolded firing squad to enliven things.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:19 PM

Damn I can't believe that photo got on the net. It was taken at a celebration of Louisville winning the NCAA. A premature celebration, you might say. You cant tell from the photo, but those were ass-less slacks.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:25 PM

And that's not a blindfold. It's a soft infra-red goggle that allows me to see through women's clothing in the dark. It also contains solar photo-filaments which absorb sunlight all day for the purpose of charging up the jacket, yielding a more dazzling impact at night.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:28 PM

LOL!

Did you find any good bourbon after you blew that lock?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:37 PM

Meanwhile, back in Idaho, one brave Legionaire stayed behind.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:44 PM

I'm gonna go around to the snow side of the house and party with the polar bears.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:45 PM

Somebody better bring me a bourbon and water to get me mellowed out a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:46 PM

Hey, guys? Remember the penguins? The ones Leej relieved of their feathers? Well, they weren't just any penguins. They were the Pittsburg Penguins. All they wanted was a few Labatt's 'cause they're still smarting from losing that Stanley Cup thingee, and some folkie goes and plucks their feathers. Well, they're a bit upset. They say that as soon as those guys are finished installing the rink in the den, and as soon as someone can figure out how to get the Zamboni through the front door, they're challenging the whole Mudcat crew to a hockey game.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:05 PM

Naked nuns on ice. Great!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:12 PM

Actually, Bobby flayed fish. Probably Sole...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:20 PM

As long as we're in San Diego, do y' spose we can open a direct door to get to Black's Beach? I've always wanted to check out Black's Beach.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:33 PM

Bobby flayed fish, Maisie cooked weiners, Amos was gone and neener neener, in them old, cotton fields back home....