BS: Gun alternatives for home defense

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: bubblyrat
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 05:02 AM

In the UK,there are no alternatives to defending your home with a gun (which you will never be allowed to own anyway !), as it illegal to hurt ,injure,detain,or even mildly inconvenience an intruder,even one who is armed & dangerous.The police in Britain are specially trained to deal,often severely,with those householders who dare to even so much as lay a finger on any intruder,as it a) infringes their "rights" and b) constitutes an "assault" .....yes,just TOUCHING them !! For which you will be arrested,of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: Gurney
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 05:34 AM

Samurai swords seem to be effective, if the news from John Hopkins is right.

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: Mooh
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 07:11 AM

Rosie The Wonder Dog is getting pretty miserable in her old age, but Cosmo The Other Dog is louder and scarier sounding.

I think a Telecaster or a banjo across the head might make for a more humourous retelling.

In the cartoons there was always a handy grand piano to fall on the bad guys. I want to know how to rig that up.

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 09:51 AM

What happens in the UK if the defunct intruder just sort of disappeared? Wired to an anchor, say, and dropped into the briny deep? Or late one night a old grave in a old cemetery is carefully made into a duplex?

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: GUEST,crazy little woman
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 10:23 PM

' anyone who has the word crazy or something similar as a part of their name...'


There must be a lot more people than I thought who have never heard the song

Goin' to Kansas City, Kansas City, here I come.
They got some crazy little women there
and I'm gonna get me one.

one of many versions

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 11:38 AM

We're all crazy in some respect, I think... ;-)

However, I did know of a guy named "Crazy Bob" once in Toronto. He was a huge guy, bald with tattoos and a beard, he looked like a classic biker, and he WAS dangerous. Most people tended to avoid Crazy Bob. I'm not sure if he had any friends, but if he did they would also be people you would definitely tend to avoid if you had any sense at all.

For home defence against Crazy Bob, I would recommend the most extreme means possible...that is, guns, baseball bats, a really mean and large dog, a small tactical nuclear weapon, that sort of thing... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 01:44 PM

My cello is formidible enough but a nice aged fruitcake is my weapon of choice.

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: gnu
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 03:33 PM

I thought all fruitcakes were aged at least several years?

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: meself
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 04:06 PM

How 'bout going out just after dark and putting a dummy out on the front porch, sitting in a rocking chair with a fake shotgun cradled in its lap?

(Whoever is first up in the morning turns up the furnace, lets the cat and/or dog out, and brings the dummy in off the porch ....)

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: MMario
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 04:11 PM

"This property protected by attack trained SKUNK" signs

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 04:58 PM

"Whoever is first up in the morning turns up the furnace, lets the cat and/or dog out, and brings the dummy in off the porch"

A perfect job for Shane! He is a dummy, and he stays up all night and sleeps most of the day. He will be glad to hang out on your porch at night if you supply him with beer, pizza, and smokes. Furthermore, if you give him this job then he won't need to do B. and E.'s anymore to get money for his beer, pizza, and smokes, so you will be doing the rest of society a favor!

Subject: RE: BS: Gun alternatives for home defense
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 11:17 PM

See, that's just it. If you gave Shame a good, steady job like that he'd just get all respectable and start driving a minivan. Before you know it he'd be married, have 3.4 children, live in the suburbs, and have a second job as an accountant. You're saving him from himself by keeping him unemployed.