Writing about people's private lives?

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: s&r
Date: 28 Sep 03 - 11:25 AM

I have to respond to this thread. The feelings that different lobbies hold on abortion etc are no doubt sincere, but seem to miss the tragedy that accompanies the real life decisions.

I read that Marion was moved by a human situation - this is normal, and I didn't read it as political.

Some years ago our daughter felt that her child was no longer moving in the womb. This was confirmed: Christopher John had died before he was born. She asked me to write a poem for his life; this I did, and will post a copy in due course.

It was read at this funeral; some of the words are on his gravestone. A copy of the poem remains in the "grieving room" at the local maternity hospital, where I am told it provides some small comfort in that grief is not alone. It has been shared by many.

Write on Marion.

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 03 - 02:00 PM

s&r, it was Marion who brought the issue of abortion into this thread. You said:

"I read that Marion was moved by a human situation - this is normal, and I didn't read it as political."

I didn't either, because when this thread was first started, Marion made no mention of it, and it never came up, until Marion herself refreshed the thread to update us. Please see that post of her's above, from 26 Sep 03 - 02:35 PM where she said:

"The part of the story that I didn't tell you is that halfway through the pregnancy, they learned that the baby had anencephaly, i.e., no brain, and could not live long if at all after birth. Although many people would opt for an abortion given this news, they decided as Christians and pro-lifers to continue with the pregnancy."

Marion introduced the topic of abortion into the thread there.

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: pattyClink
Date: 28 Sep 03 - 03:41 PM

Very touching lyric, Marion. I'm sorry your thread got hijacked by jackals.

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 03 - 04:09 PM

pattyClink, this thread hasn't been hijacked by anyone, and you are pretty damn rude and obnoxious to engage in childish name calling.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt however, by presuming you are one of those people who believe an artist should never be given critical feedback, because it isn't nice or polite to hurt their feelings.

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 28 Sep 03 - 04:37 PM

Marion, me dear - I have revisited your thread and am deeply moved by your song. Yeah, that's the feelings I must share remembering the near death of one of my daughters, and the family's stillborne baby I wrote about in my former post.
Forget the theoretical posts sent to you here -

In tears
Wilfried

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: s&r
Date: 28 Sep 03 - 06:18 PM

Christopher John

Somewhere there is a happy land
where we can walk the walks we planned
where we can wander hand in hand
and we can watch you grow

But you might have to wait a while
'til we run our allotted mile
So just look down on us and smile
a long long way below

We only knew a distant charm
we felt you push with leg or arm
we kept you safe and free from harm
but it was not to be

We hoped for more than you could know
we love you more than we can show
you are our first born child although
ourselves you will not see

You never heard us speak your name
you know we love you just the same
Nobody's fault; no one to blame
There was no one to warn

You lived close to your mother's heart
A separate life but not apart
Too short: we had no magic art
You died ere you were born

And yet you walked around the farm
You heard your daddy in the barn
You felt the sun and heard the storm
The wind blow through the trees

You shared the tears upon our face
You felt the warmth of our embrace
You leave in us a special place
Sleep now sleep in peace


Our daughter now has two husky little farmhands: Christopher John is never forgotten

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 03 - 06:29 PM

Now THAT is an excellent piece of writing. It is easy to see why so many others have found comfort in it.

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: s&r
Date: 29 Sep 03 - 06:16 AM

Thanks Guest.

It was the hardest thing I've ever written - it was requested by our Daughter, and I wrote it in the breaks between sobbing my heart out.

I think when the emotion is high the words often reflect it

Peace


s&r

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Sep 03 - 07:17 PM

Wow - that digs deep s&r

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: Marion
Date: 01 Oct 03 - 03:49 PM

Thanks for your comments, all.

Thanks especially to S&R for sharing your powerful poem. Hope you're having fun with your other grandkids.

Different Guest, it appears to me that you've taken the scant information I provided, made several assumptions, and created a whole other story about what happened and about my motives and intentions. Then you got upset about that story in your head, rather than reality. I don't have the time or inclination to straighten you out point by point. But you HAVE done me a favour, as you mentioned, by showing me how drastically my brief introduction could be misinterpreted.

Jeri, the question you raise about songs standing alone or needing background is an interesting one - and River's Lullaby is a good example of that. Those who are familiar with the Coventry Carol will recognize that I didn't just choose it for its tune, and will see the echo of Coventry Carol's first and last verse in River's Lullaby's first and last verse. And I believe that those people will appreciate the song more because of it. On the other hand, those who don't know Coventry Carol might find the phrase "woe is me" out of place. So what's the best way - assume nobody knows Coventry Carol, and leave out the "woe is me"? Take the time to explain the connection? Or just accept that some people will get the references and others might be confused by them?

Oh, and what chords are y'all using for Coventry Carol? By ear I came up with:

Am Am Dm E7
Am Dm Am Am
Dm G Em E7
Am Dm A A

but I'm not really satisfied with the third line.

Marion

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 08:26 AM

I didn't assume anything Marion, I asked you two specific questions I believe goes to the heart of the matter here which were:

1. Have you yourself ever been pregnant?

and

2. Are you yourself pro-life?

If you answer yes to both, or no to the first and yes to the second, then you've written an exploitative and manipulative song. If you answer yes to the first, but no to second, I'd be very puzzled as to why the judgmental crack "Although many people would opt for an abortion given this news, they decided as Christians and pro-lifers to continue with the pregnancy." was necessary, because it is certainly off-putting to many.

You began this thread stating that you had written a song you feared might offend the people who inspired it. I am not making assumptions when I question your motives for not revealing the pro-life angle you put on the story when you introduced us to the song. I am merely questioning your motives.

Looks as though you were really more interested in getting agreement and praise than critical feedback. Your choice as a writer of course, but it doesn't do much for the integrity of your writing at the end of the day.

I have never meant to offend you Marion, and it is only honest feedback that I have given. However, you are apparently offended because I didn't join the chorus praising you. Again, your choice.

Best of luck to you.

Subject: RE: Writing about people's private lives?
From: s&r
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 11:29 AM

I remember a concert at a major Festival. The artist introduced a song about someone close to him who had felt that she had to have an abortion. The introduction and the song were gut wrenching and emotional.

Just as emotional was the response from a woman in the audience - she called to the singer that he had no right to an opinion since he was a man, and was therefore incapable of understanding.

His response was that as someone who had been a foetus he had every right to an opinion.

The tragedy that night is that two feeling and hurting people could do no better than to share their hurt.

I wonder if the various guests have been pregnant, or aborted or had stillbirths...

Love and courage is present in people whose views I do not share.

Write about anything that moves you Marion