BS: Tiny Little Nuns

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:15 AM

And yet another...this one is leaning tipsily against a folk art church in my sunroom. I believe she has been into the communion wine. And she a Josephite!

Charlie,
You gave me a lovely mermaid for Christmas and she sits happily in my kitchen. Don't spoil it now by inflicting angels on me. Bad enough I am surrounded by nuns.

Maybe I can get Nunzilla to herd them all into the bathroom for a flush.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:19 AM

Jumpin' Josephite Mary Sunshine ?

G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:46 AM

"...tiny little nuns
Tiny little feet
Tiny little rosaries going 'weep' 'weep' 'weep'...."
Made me think Rapaire:)


...tiny little nun
Tiny little brain
Tiny little sadist inflicting 'pain' 'pain' 'pain'.....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:38 AM

Overheard at a Sally Army Citadel. Or Salvos Citadel for those in our antipodean colony.

"Sister Hannah shall carry the banner"

"But I carried it last week and I am in the family way"

" You're in everybody's way,so pick the b****rd up"

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:42 AM

jimlad I know a whole longer version of that one!
G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:55 AM

Sinsull-

I am no longer the keeper of the glowing, fluttering tiny angel. I'm a firm believer in "catch an' release." I hope she finds a good home...

Nunsuch nonsense troubles my weary mind,
Nunsuch nonsense troubles my weary mind,
Nunsuch nonsense troubles my weary mind –
Gonna catch a long slow freight,
An' leave my worries behind!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 01:29 PM

Giok

I don't believe you !!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: gnomad
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 01:59 PM

This one?

Sister Hannah, you shall carry the banner.

But I carried it yesterday.

You'll carry it again today.

But I'm in the family way.

You're in EVERY bugger's way...Do it!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 02:37 PM

Who shall carry the banner?
Sister Anna shall carry the banner!
But I can't carry the banner.
Why can't you carry the banner?
I'm in the family way.
You're in everybody's way, carry the banner
But My baby?
**** your baby!
Would you **** my baby?
I'd **** a fly
Oh you fly ****er!

You did ask!

G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Leadfingers
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 02:44 PM

What do they say about Lowest Common Denominators ?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 04:26 PM

Geez, in my extreme youth I went to public school with a boy who got thrown out of every Catholic school around -- the most recent time for lassooing a priest.

The only parochial school I went to was Milwaukee Lutheran High School -- where the "worst" crime committed in the name of religion was the exhortation by one of my Religion teachers to not pray in public because you might be praying next to a Wisconsin Synod Lutheran. (MLHS was Missouri Synod.)

Charley, I've got the glow-in-the-dark angel with the fluttering wings. Not sure where best to bestow her yet, but Sinsull's not in the running. (Not after the Michael Jackson angel!)

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 04:56 PM

Linn-

I'm sure Sinsull will be reassured to hear that.

Of course I still have a small flock (or is it a fleet?) of satanic pirate rubber duckies looking for a quiet mill pond or bath tub.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jaze
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 05:07 PM

No urban myth, Westley. I could tell you stories of my days in a Catholic orphanage in Phila. run by nuns that you wouldn't believe. And I've discovered in later years that kids in other orphanges had it way worse.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: ranger1
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:04 PM

Hey Charley, I think we could use a satanic rubber duckie right about now.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:57 PM

Ranger 1-

What are your GPS coordinates? They're programable and could be gathered on your very doorstep as the sun comes leaping forth otta Casco Bay ready to amuse and delight you!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Bainbo
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 06:07 AM

From the same place as Nunzilla:

Satanic rubber duckie

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,CrazyEddie
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 07:15 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,CrazyEddie
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 07:18 AM

OOOPS!

On a visit to Rome, the seven dwarfs happen to bump into the Holy Father.

"Tell me", says Doc, are there any dwarf nuns in the Vatican?
"No" says the pope, there are no dwarf nuns in the vatican".

Doc, & the others start singing:
"Dopey shagged a penguin,
Dopey shagged a penguin".

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 04:38 PM

Drunky John comes staggering out of the bar, stops and squints at the nun standing at the bus stop.

John staggers over to the nun and before she can say a word, he hauls back and plows her one in the face.

The nun drops to the gutter and John kicks her up against the curb, putting the boots to her until she stops moving.

John then squats down and slurs, "Ain' s' tough t'night, are ya, Batman?"

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 06 Feb 07 - 04:50 PM

I think you will find Barbie has taken holy orders...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 10:50 AM

Hee hee - I thought this thread was about tiny little nuTs - as in the following, not in the Trad for some reason link to play):

3 Inch tool

Little me..
My nuts are small as pearls
You like to laugh me
Cuz I'm hung just like a squirrel.

Sometimes it bugs me,
I'm not a bigger guy.
When I was a baby
It was exactly the same size.

But there's nothing I can do.
I've only got three inch tool.

Come home with me
Have a cocktail at my place
I've got to tell you
Before we get past second base

In my pants,
Ain't no big shwing.
But if you can find him,
He's a friendly little thing.

But there's nothing I can do.
I've only got three inch tool.
When I'm coming outta the pool,
I've only got a one inch tool.

Sometimes I wonder
If it'll ever extend
I get embarrassed when I'm hanging with my friends

They like to razz me
I don't know why
But get me a happy-meal
And super-size my fry.

But there's nothing I can do.
I've only got three inch tool.
When I'm coming outta the pool,
I've only got a one inch tool.
It's small but it's real cool
I'm happy with my 3 inch tool.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 02:24 PM

Artificial images representing an impression of pretend identities in the context of an imaginary reality adopted by unreal people to avoid the real thing... just what I always wanted!!!!!


AMOS you have defined television !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 07 Feb 07 - 11:29 PM

When I was about nine my family moved close to the Scottish border and my sister and I both went to school in Gretna Green which was just across the Scottish border, inside Scotland. Evidently the rules were different up there because the teachers were allowed to hit us. Punishment was holding your hand out and the teacher would hit it with a leather strap. My sister's teacher was nicknamed 'Killer Munroe' -- she was so terrified of him she did EVERTYHING right to avoid even the possibility of a belt. I was a good student and did well, except for one fateful day when I had more than two errors on my spelling test and was hauled out in front of the class - along with the LOSERS - to extend my hand for 'the belt'. I know the teacher was light on me because I was a teacher's pet but don't know what hurt worse - the hit or the humiliation.

Every week we would change our seats according to our rank in class. The desk furthest back to the right went to the best student and on down to the front -- nearly always in front of the class was a little kid with a huge strawberry birthmark on his face who received 'the belt' virtually daily.........; we smarty pants sat on the back row and just changed our seats amongst ourselves.

What a system!!!!! And this was not in a Catholic school - this was a regular public school.....

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 08 Feb 07 - 03:35 AM

At my Primary School we were taught by Sister St Thomas,she had been dismissed from the Gestapo for being too cruel. If a child annoyed her she would grab you by the lapels and hold you an inch from her stubbly jaw and hiss"Do you like Hospital food boy?".

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Feb 07 - 07:22 PM

And another of the blue and white variety found lurking behind a union pin on a ribbon in the bath. SIGH

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: GUEST,ib48
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 11:47 AM

Oops,sorry,i thought it was a porn site

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Feb 07 - 07:29 PM

So do the nuns. Why do you think they are lurking behind buttons in the bathroom?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 03:59 AM

Can't you get an industrial size packet of 'None Nun' or 'Nun B Gon' and flush the little buggers out?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 05:36 AM

Sins , maybe what is needed

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Micca
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 05:41 AM

OOps, wrong button!!

as I was saying, what maybe needed is the Nun c Dimmitis

Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace : according to thy word.
For mine eyes have seen : thy salvation,
Which thou hast prepared : before the face of all people;
To be a light to lighten the Gentiles : and to be the glory of thy people Israel.

thats why they are turning up in the bathroom, it's the "light to lighten the genitals " thats atracting them

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 10:54 AM

Do penguins have wheels?

No.

Damn, I just ran over a Nun on roller skates...

(Mike Harding?)

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 11:11 AM

Did you find one in the freezer yet?

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 12:40 PM

At my school the rendition of the sign of the cross went:-

" In the name of the father put your hand on your tum............"

And the Hail Mary went :-

............"Holy Mary,mother of God pray for us cinemas now and............."

The aforementioned Sister St Thomas was apoplectic most of the time.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:06 PM

Yes, I checked the freezer and no, there are no nuns in it. I will check the eaves next. If I find a 20# bag of plastic nuns, Jeri, you sleep in the basement from now on!

"Made ya look
Made ya look
Stole yer mother's pocket book"
Brillant!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:34 PM

Hmmm? You sure? Maybe it was in the fridge. Sorry.

I'm not responsibile for the nun invasion, but I think it's funny. And you reallly want to think about the fun I might have in your basement. Especially if I can hide down there and come up when you're at work to eat, re-arrange your furniture and die your cats funny colors. Please Miz Mary, don't throw Jeri in dat basement...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Tinker
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:53 PM

Oh boy, ya know I think I'm glad I couldn't make this trip.... I like knowing for once I can honestly say .... Wasntme!!
Hmmmm cellar dwellers who brighten up the cats during the day. What a helpful set of friends you have Miz Mary. They sound like great playmates.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:53 PM

LOL now those are wicked thoughts Jeri..we will have nun of that around here.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Barry Finn
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 07:55 PM

How many have you found by now Mary?

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 09:04 PM

I kept waiting for Mary to say something about the nun in the freezer, but it didn't happen, so I had to say something. I figure she might have been in the fridge, using the Tupperware as a trampoline. Oh well.
Who knows where a nun goes as refigerator doors close
Do they dive? Me, oh, my- those aren't blackbirds in the pie!
Mary bit, the plastic ate, but nuns are hard to masticate
And it's a sin, if that's what she done, 'cause you go to Hell if you eat a nun!

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 09:29 PM

"And it's a sin, if that's what she done, 'cause you go to Hell if you eat a nun!"

ROFL Jerri
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Feb 07 - 10:30 PM

Jeri-

I have a brilliant idea for a new line of candies, shaped like nuns, and if I could get your permission to use your verse as a jingle -- we'll make millions!

Charley Noble, just tuning in again on this thread

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: jimlad9
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 04:38 AM

When I strayed from the path of marital righteousness* I got 'Three nuns' from my wife.

Nun that night,nun the next month,and nun ever since.






* I did not really stray but this thingy would not work would it?.

Now if Uma Thurman threw herself at me well?...................

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Joe_F
Date: 14 Feb 07 - 09:56 PM

What kind of meat do monks eat on Friday?
Nun.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: vectis
Date: 15 Feb 07 - 09:49 AM

Wesley S I had both my arms and hands beaten black and blue by Sister Patrick using a ruler with a lead strip backing.
I went home that day and never went back. I joined another school in another town after the summer break.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 07:07 AM

No new sightings but I refuse to rummage through the fridge mainly because I think Jeri is just instigating.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Jeri
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 09:31 AM

Well, at least she won't go bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: ranger1
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 10:03 AM

It's terrible when good nuns go bad...

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Charley Noble
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 03:56 PM

Well, I woke up this morning, feeling really sad!
Well, I woke up this morning, feeling really sad!
I opened up the fridge, and all them nuns gone bad!

Collected by Charley Noble way back in 2007

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 07:08 PM

If you say "Get thee to a nunnary" backwards, the nunnary comes to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Tiny Little Nuns
From: Alba
Date: 16 Feb 07 - 07:26 PM

NUN Hundred...sorry couldn't help myself 8>)