Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 03 Jul 01 - 07:49 PM ....And who are these warped friends you're talking about???? |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: artbrooks Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:14 PM Well, I make it a practice not to be rude and inappropriate about someone I don't know, so I assume that all you folks are personal friends and/or family members of the party-of-the-first-part. As a (relatively) new Mudcat member, I can only say that I missed your sparkling reparte and am glad to have you back. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: harpgirl Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:30 PM ...you can't fool me. I know you are trying to become a human tic tac toe board! What a gig... |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: harpgirl Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:37 PM I need a picture, Mario!!!! Strictly for research purposes! |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: katlaughing Date: 04 Jul 01 - 12:30 AM hg, here's the research you asked for, as the BBC would say: "CONTAINS EXPLICIT MATERIAL AND IS MEANT FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE" |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 04 Jul 01 - 04:13 AM Boy, talk about more info than I ever needed to know!!! Why in the world would anybody......never mind, gotta keep in mind it takes many different pieces to make the whole! Thanks, Kat, for the enlightenment. I been to two county fairs and a asskickin' contest and ain't never seen nothin' like that! |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 04 Jul 01 - 06:52 AM geeziz kat...........Although I do wonder what keywords you searched with......something like "pierced dick pics" or something? Spaw |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: harpgirl Date: 04 Jul 01 - 09:07 AM ...just as I suspected, kat! The rings are on the wrong side for maximum functionality! There's a guy here in town with a fish skeleton tattooed on his...I mean I've just heard about it...no direct experience mind you...hg |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Bill D Date: 04 Jul 01 - 11:51 AM "de gustibus non disputandum est" didja know that Google now has an advanced image search? and so does FastSearch,(AlltheWeb) it's all out there folks, but do remember what Samuel Johnson said to the ladies who came calling to protest his new dictionary: "Dr. Johnson, your dictionary contains sone VERY improper words!" "Madame, you have been looking for them!" |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: katlaughing Date: 04 Jul 01 - 03:10 PM Spaw, all it took was "prince albert piercings photos!" hg, I did find one that was done the opposite, but as it wasn't a "proper" Prince Albert, I didn't think it appropriate for accurate research purposes!**BG** It's okay, Banj, take a deep breath, darlin'... BillD, you never cease to amaze me with your "finds" |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 04 Jul 01 - 04:24 PM That's the problem Kat, I took a deep breath and I ain't been able to let it go yet. That's got to hurt....ain't for me...that's for sure. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jul 01 - 05:39 PM Lord, I beseech thee, put an end to this fecking thread, which is now becoming even sillier than some of the ones I have launched from time to time. Verily, verily, and forsooth it doth knit my brows with vexation and further doth scorch my conscience with vile and unspeakable wrath. Not to mention my cookies... A pox on they who have contributed to it thus far. May they perish in unutterable perdition. May their wails of lamentation cause hamsters to pause whilst running around on their exercise wheels. May dying whales beach themselves on their front porches, there to rot in putrescent array day upon day without respite until George Bush does the State of the Union speech clad in a pink jumpsuit. May young juveniles in boom cars circle endlessly around their residences late at night. May flattop give them a full explanation of his particular theory of what life is all about...and may they then receive a full rebuttal of same from Little Hawk, with all the embellishments. May confusion fall upon them all!!! (As it most certainly would, given the above scenario...) Strike them down, O Lord, and bury them in Hostess Twinkies! Further, O Lord, adorn their mantles with talking plastic fish that can repeat 7 or 8 different phrases, fart, and excuse themselves for so doing...at random...till the batteries run down. Lord, I beseech thee, put an end to this fecking thread!!! He he he! :-D - LH |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 04 Jul 01 - 06:58 PM Seems like a whole lota beseechin' goin' on around here!! Next ya know he'll be wantin' one of them there Prince Albert things. All's I know about this piercing thing is: I was born with just the right number of holes in my body and I don't need to put in any more! |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Ebbie Date: 04 Jul 01 - 07:32 PM I'm still trying to figure out what Gnu means by 'preying'. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 04 Jul 01 - 10:28 PM Where'd you get one of those talking fish, Little Hawk? Using too many batteries? You must be playing with it a lot. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jul 01 - 10:34 PM It's okay, I got rechargeables... - LH |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 04 Jul 01 - 10:39 PM You could just stop playing with your fish. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jul 01 - 11:00 PM Just what are you implying? - LH |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 04 Jul 01 - 11:03 PM Oops! I thought you'd slipped out to the adult toy section of Walmart to look for something to keep your fish happy, like Mrs. Warm and Wonderful Vibrating Seaweed?" |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Kim C Date: 05 Jul 01 - 10:32 AM Are Little Hawk and flattop brothers or something? I couldn't check out the research photo. That could get me in trouble here at work. :-) |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 05 Jul 01 - 01:04 PM No, sisters! |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST,Little Hawk, still off my cookie.... Date: 05 Jul 01 - 03:23 PM LOL! Does that mean I can call you a weak sister, flattop? We are brothers, but only in a sense...not by blood, but rather by destiny...or happenstance...depending on which one of us you ask. We have a number of things in common, and enjoy disagreeing about the finer points of most of the others. We sometimes act like enemies for mutual entertainment purposes. Hopefully, it amuses the rest of you as well. - LH |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 05 Jul 01 - 06:19 PM Well you've called me everything else in this life and past lives. Luckily I wasn't there. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: CarolC Date: 05 Jul 01 - 06:32 PM Don't believe them, Kim C. flattop and Little Hawk are twins who were separated at birth, and only just found each other again a few years ago.
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jul 01 - 10:31 PM Carol - Damn right you're not at liberty! You've said way too much already... flattop - That's the trouble most of the time even in this life...you're not there. Those circus roustabouts sure screwed with your head, man. I figure a guy with your basic instincts and keen perceptions could have achieved a spiritual breakthrough years ago, with a better upbringing. Same goes for me, of course. It's a cryin' shame. - LH p.s. By the way, people, I'm the good looking twin... |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Amos Date: 05 Jul 01 - 11:25 PM You boys should go back to your corners of the Galaxy and start wending all over again, see if you ever intersect paths, or whether some Cosmic Animus would keep you eternally apart.... A |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 05 Jul 01 - 11:31 PM |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 05 Jul 01 - 11:36 PM Ok Little Hawk, you can pretend that you're the good looking sister tonight and I'll play the ugly modest one but tomorrow night we switch. (If anyone comes with a glass slipper tonight though, I'm out of here.) |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 05 Jul 01 - 11:54 PM Amos, did you say "Cosmic Animus" or "Cosmic Anus?" I mean they're both unversally known as assholes.......... Spaw |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 06 Jul 01 - 12:02 AM And who's playin the wicked stepmother tonight, spaw? |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Jul 01 - 12:04 AM I dunno' Flats.........What the hell, I got some spare time though................ Spaw |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 06 Jul 01 - 12:10 AM Yes but have you got a good dress without holes in the arse? |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Kim C Date: 06 Jul 01 - 10:13 AM Which one of you has the Prince Albert? |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 01 - 11:34 AM Catspaw - You state that flattop and I are "unversally (sic) known as assholes". I presume you meant "universally"? If so, that is untrue, and deeply offensive, and I am hurt that you would make such a misleading statement. There are still plenty of people in places like Scranton and Schenectady who don't know anything of the sort... I contacted some guy in Saudi Arabia, and he says most people there don't know about me or flattop either. Oh...he had heard of you, though. He says you're an asshole. :-) So there. - LH |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: gnu Date: 06 Jul 01 - 02:42 PM Ebbie... the thought was in the right place, even if the right vowel wasn't, eh ? I can spel most werds... I jest can't tipe. So my mynd is on the keebord more then the spelin. My apollogees. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Jul 01 - 03:33 PM Sorry LH, just reporting the news as it comes in. I think you're a fine fellow personally and although that guy in Saudi Arabia may have me pegged, you and flats seem to have the entire vote from Blastois 7 and everyone in the Zwamppermann Galaxy....probably due to the spread of your notoriety by one Major Tom, psychotic, one-way, astronaut. Spaw |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: CarolC Date: 06 Jul 01 - 03:41 PM Yup. Notorious assholes all over the galaxy except for Uranus. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: MMario Date: 06 Jul 01 - 03:43 PM but I hear they are known on the rings around Uranus |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 06 Jul 01 - 05:05 PM I think I'll remain the ugly sister, Kim. No jewellery for me thanks. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 01 - 05:10 PM It's a pity we can't get Major Tom back to refute some of these rumours... Looks like this thread is not going to go quietly away, eh? - LH |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: CarolC Date: 06 Jul 01 - 06:23 PM Aw, Little Hawk. I don't really think you and flattop are assholes of any sort. I just can't seem to resist an opportunity to get in a cheap shot about Uranus. I know it's a major personality flaw of mine. My son had to change the way he pronounces Uranus because of it. Just ask him... he'll tell you. "Not enough therapy in the world", he'll say. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 01 - 06:31 PM Yes. On the other hand, "You're a nuss!" sounds kind of nasty too, doesn't it? - LH |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 06 Jul 01 - 06:34 PM I thought Spaw would make a wicked stepmother. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: CarolC Date: 06 Jul 01 - 06:36 PM Yeah, but my imagination's not good enough to come up with any jokes about 'You're a nuss'. I'm just a third rate cheap shot joke teller with very little talent or brains, I'm afraid. Sorry. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 06 Jul 01 - 06:49 PM I bet Flattop and Little Hawk are the two fellers that are oft told of in the story of the lost camel. That would tie in with the Saudi connection. You know the story I refer to? It's the one about the two guys riding on a borrowed camel through the market place. They hear someone say "Look at the two assholes on that camel" and when they climbed down to see for themselves the camel ran away! |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 01 - 09:09 PM Banjer, there are trained ninja hamsters on their way to your residence at this very moment. Best settle your affairs while there is still time. These guys have no trouble relating to the concept of an Out-of-Cage Experience, I can assure you. - LH |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Amos Date: 06 Jul 01 - 11:40 PM Here kitty kitty... |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 07 Jul 01 - 05:35 AM Wonderful, we have company coming!!! Do tell, LH, what do ninja hamsters like to eat? I will see to it that the table is set when they arrive! BTW, did you and FT actually see the two assholes on the camel, or did he get away too fast?? |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 07 Jul 01 - 09:48 AM Perhaps those guys climbed off their camel because they were surprised to hear someone with an American accent almost speaking proper English in a Saudi marketplace. Or they might have been returning the borrowed camel to the camel rental booth. The story could have gotten twisted before it got to you in the southern states, Banjer. You weren't in the market at the time, were you? Would it be the customers' fault if they were loaned a difficult camel? Keep that in mind when you're renting a camel, Banjer. Camel vendors can be unscrupulous. If you are buying a camel, always have it checked out by an independent dealer. Watch for cracking hooves and weak gonads on models over twenty years old – same kind a problems we're having ourselves, eh Banjer? These defects could cost you a fortune in repair bills. There's a whole throng of other flaws and safety recalls that you should keep in mind but I have to rush in to the office. I'm sure other mudcatters will kindly help you with all your peculiar camel questions. Be particularly wary of camels that lift their tails a lot. Don't stand behind them laughing and cracking jokes. Camel farts can deaden your brain cell. |
Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 07 Jul 01 - 11:16 AM Well, there it is. Flattop accounts for at least one of them....*BG* |
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