BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests

Subject: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: julian morbihan
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 04:50 AM

Today the Samaritan's are launching their new phoneline for aethiests.

You phone a number and nobody answers.

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for atheists
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 05:36 AM

Yes, but the big advantage is that since nobody answers, it costs nothing for the call.

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: gnu
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 07:03 AM

But, how will they ever hear the call?

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: *daylia*
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 07:09 AM

THey'll have to make sure the ringer is OM.

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Willie-O
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 09:45 AM

But I'm an atheist, and I answer my phone when it rings.

What is "Samaritan"? Who answers their other phone lines, presumably for theists? And do they have one for agnostics? It's impossible to say.

W-O

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: GUEST,meself
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 10:32 AM

Not only does cost nothing, but it really doesn't waste much of your time either.

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Stringsinger
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 12:06 PM

If a god falls in the forest and nobody hears him does that mean he really exists?

If the Samaritan is on the road bleeding, most atheists I know would help him.

Frank Hamilton

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 12:11 PM

"... new phoneline for aethiests."

maybe they'll start one for the spelling-disabled soon!

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: *daylia*
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 12:39 PM

If the Samaritan is on the road bleeding, most atheists I know would help him.

Indeed they would.

Now, if the atheist was on the road bleeding, do you think any of the more, um, Deistically-inclined would help?

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 12:47 PM

A clever atheist who was injured would take OFF his big identifying button that they all usually wear.

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Bee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 01:27 PM

Yes, I, for example, only wear mine to the EAC meetings.

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: GUEST,meself
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 01:41 PM

"If the Samaritan is on the road bleeding, most atheists I know would help him."

But the question is, if it were a fanatic, Bible-thumping evangelical on the road bleeding, would the atheist help him? It's a little unlikely he's going to come upon a Samaritan on the road bleeding. On the other hand, he may come across a Hebrew in distress - as in the original story! But the point really is that it's a nominal enemy ...

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 02:01 PM

A Samaritan is a person from Samaria, correct?

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: GUEST,meself
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 05:07 PM

Far as I know ...

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 05:37 PM

Perhaps it is the first documented case of Identity Theft...

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: GUEST,meself
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 05:59 PM

What - the thieves that jumped him stole his ID and credit cards? Probably - but I don't remember that being mentioned in the book!

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 06:53 PM

What? isn't it "In The Book"?

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 07:42 PM

An aetheist is an atheist with taste!

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 07:29 AM

Anyone want the 1-900 number for God?

$4.99 for the first minute and $1.99 for every minute you wait on hold.

Isn't a phone call a bit impersonal

Give me a good ol fashioned quickie drive through church that bless for a fee face to face from behind bullet proof glass.
They use those small bank branches that have closed.

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 08:03 AM

And they have a safe place to store the cash close by...

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 08:08 AM

"safe place" - sorry....

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Anne Lister
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 01:59 PM

To anyone who is genuinely confused by this thread ...the Samaritans is an organisation set up to befriend all people in distress, especially those feeling suicidal.   And, at the risk of spoiling the joke (but in the interests of accuracy)it has never had any religious agenda whatsoever despite being set up by an Anglican vicar and having a Biblical name. I speak as a very happy pagan who used to be a volunteer in the Central London branch, so I would have noticed!

Anne

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: bubblyrat
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 05:16 AM

I have never understood their ethos. If someone calls the Samaritans, and talks for a while about committing suicide ( Samaritans aren"t allowed to say " commit suicide ", ---did you know that ? ), and then says that they have taken a huge overdose and slashed their wrists lengthways ,meaning that they don"t have long to live (!) , and then they hang up / ring off. What does the Samaritan do next ?? Call the emergency services ?? No way !! Because the Samaritan has no idea where the person is----because Samaritans cannot do a " 1471 " ( don"t know what it is in USA ) to find out where the caller was calling from !!. But----there must be people out there who don"t know that, who go over the edge, hang up, and think " It"s OK, those nice Samaritans will trace my call and send an ambulance ", but, of course, they can"t !! I have tried and tried, but I just don"t understand it----sorry !!

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Anne Lister
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 07:11 AM

First of all, Bubblyrat, of course Samaritans are allowed to say "commit suicide" - where on earth did you hear they couldn't? That's the question Samaritan volunteers have to ask in each and every conversation. It's part of the training and part of the whole ethos of what happens.
And secondly, of course the volunteer will be doing everything they can to find out where the suicidal person is, in order to help them, but if a caller doesn't give an address (specifically chooses not to, in some cases) it's very hard to see (a) that the caller wanted to be prevented from suicide and (b) how to help them. A phone number does not generate an address, even if you could find the number they called from. If the Samaritan DOES know the address or phone number then they will do everything possible to help the caller - I've been in that position and I know. I once had half a phone number before the caller rang off. There are no words to describe how I felt about that.
I'd suggest if you're agonising about how and why Samaritans operate you should simply call and ask them - it's not a secret society! But there is a prime rule of confidentiality (hence not using any method to trace the call), and a prime rule of allowing callers to make their own choices, which might mean allowing someone to kill themselves if that's what they really want. With an actively suicidal caller, any volunteer will keep asking for an address or some other way to trace the caller, so your mythical person who goes over the edge and expects to be rescued will have been asked and asked again for contact details.
Please don't go spreading unfounded myths...and please also remember that the Samaritans is an entirely volunteer-run charity. If you think you can do better, or as well as they do, by all means put yourself forward to your nearest branch and discover the reality of what happens and the kind of call they receive.

Anne

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Marion
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 01:07 PM

My girlfriend works for Kids Help Phone, and they don't trace calls or alert the authorities for suicide threats or reports of abuse (though of course, they do try to persuade the caller to allow this and provide contact info). The reason for this insistence on confidentiality is that if word gets around that the Kids Help Phone will "turn you in" without consent, other kids just won't call at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 05:01 PM

The dialogue just now between Anne and bubbly is a classic example of "false pigeonholes", by means of which one group generates disparaging but untrue legends about another. Interesting to watch it in action!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: julian morbihan
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 11:35 AM

OK it's now 4th April - I can let the cat out of the bag.

It was just an April Fool joke.....

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Anne Lister
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 11:55 AM

*feeling quietly smug that I worked that out for myself*

Anne

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 06:27 PM

What a surprise!
Oh, I never would have guessed!
Silly me, oh, how stupid I was to be taken in!

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Wolfgang
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 08:02 AM

To return to the joke angle.

A new hotline is in operation for deists. When it is called you hear a computer generated voice telling you that God is offline since 15 Billion years.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Scoville
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 11:16 AM

I'd help the bleeding Evangelist, I just wouldn't expect any divine brownie points in return.

Subject: RE: BS: Samaritan's new phoneline for aethiests
From: Raggytash
Date: 13 Apr 07 - 11:20 AM

Surely if the Samaritans where to set up a line where nobody answers it would a phone line for Pessimists