BS: What would you do for your dog?

Subject: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 03:01 PM

Kendall mentioned on another thread that I had drowned my cell phone in Casco Bay. This is quite true.

What he didn't say was that it was the fault of the dopey hound that I was walking at the time.

I've started taking Seamus to the beach first thing in the morning and he has discovered that he can live up to the retriever part of his breed. He loves swimming and retrieving the tennis ball that I throw into the water for him - he even prefers to do that to playing with the other dogs on the beach these days.

Yesterday the tide was very low when I took him to the beach as usual. I threw the ball and he retrieved it a number of times but the last time that he went in he got distracted by a bright pink marker buoy just a little bigger than his ball. He latched onto the buoy and was doing his damndest to bring it into shore. I shouted to him to drop it but he just kept chugging on, trying to bring the buoy, and whatever it was attached to, back to me.

I was getting a bit concerned, firstly that he would tire himself out and secondly that he would get caught up in the rope out there. Since he wasn't going to let go I had no choice but to go in after him.

I dropped my bag on the shore but forgot to take the phone, which I carry in a pouch round my neck, off. Out I went, ending up waist deep in the water, cursing at the %#&@*$% hound for making it necessary. When I reached him it was the devil's own job to get him to release the buoy – do you know how strong a lab's jaws can be? He was absolutely determined to get that thing to shore. I finally got him to release it and tried to get him to swim to shore but he just got round me and grabbed the buoy again.

By this time I'm thinking that Jaws might be the best solution and it would serve him right as well! I got the buoy away from him again and dragged him back to shore where a helpful bystander snapped his leash on. Problem was, the leash didn't fasten properly and back went Seamus, out to sea, clamping down on the buoy again. Back I went, now hoping for a giant squid and a slow, lingering death for the boy. I finally got the buoy from out of his jaws and hid it behind my back while pointing out to him the tennis ball that he was supposed to be fetching.

Needless to say, when we both got out of the water the leash went on, securely this time, and he was taken off the beach in disgrace. I'll tell you, driving home wet up to chest level is not an experience that I want to repeat. My wonderful husband just cracked up when I told him so no sympathy there either.

I did realise how much I had come to love the horrible pooch in the time that I've lived with him. I didn't even stop to think before going in after him, although the water wasn't too warm. I do understand now how people can get themselves into danger trying to rescue their animals and why some of the Katrina people preferred to stay rather that leave their dogs.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Big Mick
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 03:10 PM

Will he get out of the basement while he is still young enough to walk?

Mick ***laughing his ass off***

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 03:12 PM

Actually, both of them will be down there for the foreseeable future.........

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: KT
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 03:42 PM

Jacqui, you're a pearl! What a great story!! You ought to publish that one!! Hilarious!
KT

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Mickey191
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 03:47 PM

Yeoman Job Jacqui!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 03:51 PM

Oh my, oh my! I could make jokes but, just thank goodness that all ended well.

Hmmm.... maybe you should have tried to bring the buoy in when you were out there. Might'ah bin a lohbstah trahp on tha end ah thaht thaya buoay.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Sorcha
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 04:36 PM

ROFLMAO!!! Been there, done that, sorta. It was a pier/boat landing post tho....and at least the water was warm.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: bfdk
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 04:59 PM

So, we can't expect to hear either Kendall's or Seamus' side of the story anytime soon? ;o))

When Milloup was young and eager he once pulled the lead out of my hand right next to a fairly busy road and ran onto said road with a car approaching at rather high speed. Fortunately, car and dog were travelling in the same direction, but at different speeds, needless to say. I didn't think, I just ran after the dog placing myself between him and the car. Maybe (but it's hard to reconstruct..) my reasoning was that most drivers would slow down at the sight of a demented female running around in the street, I don't know, but I got hold of Milloup and pulled him to safety - and the car *did* slow down :-))

Best wishes,

Bente

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 05:45 PM

I'm sorry, Jacqui, I can't help myself. I'm cracking up!
Best damn story I've heard in years. Beats the hell out of that storyteller you're married to.
Stay dry, hey?
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: ranger1
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 05:56 PM

ROFLMAO! You deserved it for not waiting for me!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 06:52 PM

That one should go on the CD!!

Jacqui - you owe me another new keyboard and a pint of cider!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 07:23 PM

Jacqui, I have to respect a woman who's not afraid to come off as completely batshit round-the-bend stark raving loony. I suspect we may be related.

That said, I hope to hear Kendall tell this one day. Something about 'Dog Bites Buoy'. He'll just have to come up with a punch line. (Or not, because it's pretty funny as is.)

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 08:31 PM

The dog is a "looney"???
She teaches him to retrieve by throwing a tennis ball into the water and rewarding him for bringing it to her. Then he spies a bigger ball, and naturally he figures the size of the treat is related to the size of the ball, so, he tries to drag some poor fisherman's lobster buoy to shore.

I'm glad I wasn't there, I haven't pissed my pants in years!

The thing is, neither of them knew that to touch a lobster buoy is a serious crime in Maine, and when I was a warden I arrested men for that very thing.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 08:32 PM

OOOOH - handcuffs!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 08:43 PM

Maybe Seamus should just turn himself in, before they go looking for DNA.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: KT
Date: 03 Jun 07 - 10:18 PM

Well, Jacqui, I've just come from a gathering of 8 golden retrievers and a few humans, too, and all of us got a kick out of the retelling of your story!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 01:16 AM

The only name for that story is

A Buoy and his Dog

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 01:25 AM

A Buoy and his Dog- Perfect!

That Seamus does lead a charmed life, doesn't he. I haven't forgotten Sinsull's park story.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 01:40 AM

Our neighbours back in the 60's had a dog, a golden retriever I think it was...and it wanted to catch fish! It would spot a fish from up on our dock and become absolutely riveted to the sight of that fish swimming lazily around the legs that supported the dock. It would hang over the edge, moaning and groaning with excitement, until finally the urge became overpowering, then hurl itself into the water, raising an almighty splash. This would cause the fish to flee, naturally, with the dog swimming after it in wet pursuit, a few feet beneath the water. Fish will often head deeper in a case like that, and the dog would follow at a surprisingly good speed...but he never caught one. He would eventually surface, half-drowned, and stagger ashore, spluttering and coughing. He would then shake himself off vigorously and head out onto the dock with steely determination, ready for the next round.

He was a total idiot. ;-)

He did various other things too, considerably more gross than that, and I don't think you really want to know what they were...

Then there was Lance, the German Shepherd. He would retrieve anything. Absolutely anything. You just had to throw it. With a big enough catapult I believe one could have arranged to have him try and retrieve a thrown Lincoln Continental. It would have made an interesting experiment.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 03:45 AM

It's a good job I have a ready supply of clean underwear available here....

I think I recognise myself in the batshit, round-the-bend stark raving loony description too... who else would have a cat that sets its own arse alight for Christmas?

Not just one cat, but two, at two separate Christmases, both caught their arses alight. Next year I'm going to try lighting the Christmas pudding instead.

Just be grateful you have a Lab... if it were an Irish Setter, you'd probably still be out there!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 09:34 AM

ROTFLMAO! Thank you LH and Liz!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 10:25 AM

I have tried to pry Seamus' jaws open when he grabs my hair while I am driving. He knows how to tease. Strong and mindless.

Have to admit - every time I see him chase out after a ball, I think of the black lab in the movie Jaws. SIGH Damn Steven Spielberg!

I am so sorry I was not there to see this. Then again I would probably have gone in with Jacqui and we both would have gotten wet.

My favorite part of the story has been left out. The simpleton on shore who kept shouting about hypothermia. Much like the woman at the park who kept insisting that Seamus has hurt his leg.

On the serious side - this is how ridiculous accidents happen and people drown. Might want to keep the big yellow goofus away from that part of the beach.

Auntie SINS

PS Well done, Seamus! I have always questioned Jacqui's sanity when she tells me how well trained you are.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: sian, west wales
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 11:01 AM

Actually, I was thinking about Dumb Things I've Done for My Dog in whatever thread it was that discussed bullocks, and the perils thereof.

We were walking across one of my uncle's fields many Springs ago and didn't realize that my uncle had turned a shedful of bullocks out for the first time. (They're even friskier when they're fresh out of confinement.) Dog went to check them out then loped off across the field, with bullocks in hot pursuit - weirdly, in single file, so it looked somewhat surreal. Anyhow, "What would I do for my dog?" I thought they'd trample him so I called for him to come to me. THEN realized that with Dog came Bullocks. So we then had a fast moving column of me, Dog, Bullocks. I and Dog ended up knee deep in a river. Well, he was chest deep. I was knee deep, and in wellie-boots that were only mid-calf (no pun intended) high. Yuk.

Mates, through thick and thin. Miss the old hairy beast...

sian

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 11:10 AM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 12:55 PM

When I first got Clancy, he had to be crated due to chewing and trash-strewing issues. To get him into the crate, I crawled in first and convinced him to crawl in with me. At about that point, my roommate came home, took one look at us and asked "so, which one of you REALLY belongs in the zoo?"

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 01:35 PM

Labs were bred to swim in ice water for hours at a time. I don;t know what jacqui was bred for.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: JenEllen
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 01:59 PM

LMAO Jacqui!

I think if there is a heaven, there is a special place in it for people who own yellow labs.

I have 2 friends (brothers) who bought littermate labs and 2 more unbelievable creatures have never walked the earth. I was blessed with a pretty good mutt, so when I puppy-sat for the guys one week I was shocked.

If I had a nickel for every time I said: "Oh, you have GOT to be shitting me..." I could pay for the damage to the house and mental trauma to the cat.

Even now, the guys still laugh whenever there is food stolen off of counters, hoses chewed through, garbage cans knocked over, holes dug, and they tease each other about who's dog had more golfballs removed from its stomach in one surgery. Unbelieveable.

Bless your heart and saintly disposition--Seamus is a lucky dog!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Becca72
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 02:35 PM

All I have to add is "hehehe"

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 03:25 PM

Great stories folks!! I'll have to ask Rue for some about her household, three female boxers under one year old and an old lady pit bull, Nanny Dizzy, who keeps them in line, sometimes.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:01 PM

Seamus has never swallowed anything but food. He has never taken anything off a counter or table, and he has never chewed anything except the skirt on the sofa when he was a little puppy.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:13 PM

I had another yellow Lab before Seamus, and he was exactly like Seamus. A joy to have around. He chewed up my belt and the feather from my hatband. Never liked that hat anyway.

Behavior problems originate with owners, not the dogs.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:37 PM

When you realize how tiny their little brains are, armoured inside their rocklike skulls, and how difficult it is for a complex thought to work its way through all that solid bone, then it's easy to forgive them their peculiar habits...

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: JenEllen
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:46 PM

When you realize how tiny their little brains are, armoured inside their rocklike skulls, and how difficult it is for a complex thought to work its way through all that solid bone, then it's easy to forgive them their peculiar habits...

Goes for dogs and owners alike, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 04:55 PM

Good point. ;-) I bet that's just the way my dachshund sees it.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 05:43 PM

I have learned a great deal about dogs since my two arrived. In the past we had bird dogs and they were pretty submissive to their humans. With the pit bull and blue heeler I have now, I'm in charge (mostly) and they are safely in the yard. When I see the silly playful loving pit bull back there I am saddened by the cruel people who subject these animals to the treatment that makes them fighters. The things I've done for my dogs include completely rebuilding the stockade fence and training them to the Invisible Fence system that is in place in addition to the physical fence. It was expensive but necessary. I need to keep them in to protect them from people who are afraid of pit bulls.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 07:48 PM

Good point, SRS.
I've known three pit bulls and a Doberman, plus a couple of Rotweillers. All were pussy cats and not one bit mean.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 08:34 PM

Kendall, you lie! Seamus has eaten untold amounts of tissues, paper towels and napkins taken from table tops, my purse, even my pockets. My hair, hair clips and headbands have been fair game from Day 1.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 08:42 PM

That's just roughage!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Sorcha
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 09:23 PM

Yea, just roughage. As are sandals. I spent almost $10,000 trying to save their lives but lost. Does that count?

Sign in my house...dogs welcome, children on leads please. Our house is set up for the comfort of our dogs. If you don't like that, you know where the door is.

Jacqui, I wouldn't hesitate a bit to do what you did, even for a Lab...LOL! Now, for a toy poodle or a 'shit zoo' I'd have to think a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 09:46 PM

Sinsull, Seamus has never taken anything off the table at home, and I believe I said he has never swallowed anything that wasn't food.
You let him get away with mayhem at your house, sleeping on the sofa etc. he knows what he can get away with and where he can get away with it.
I know he tries to pinch your scrunchies but he has never done that to me. I don't leave tissues around, and he never grabs my knitting either.
You try to reason with him!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 10:50 PM

I love Seamus but my dog (Asha, the bull mastiff) is dumber. But pretty please -- what does ROTFLMAO mean?????

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 04 Jun 07 - 10:55 PM

We have some friends in Indiana, who we have stayed with when passing through. We always thought very highly of them. They had an old golden retriever who jumped in their creek after the spring thaw. The current was fast, and the dog was old and couldn't climb out anymore and was foundering in the current. The man of the household jumped in and pulled him out, rather than watch him drown. We think more highly of them now. Were it my dog, I would have done the same. It's what you do for you pals.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 01:02 AM

Truebrit - Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off.

Another one is KAKSOD - Killed Another Keyboard Squirting Out Drink.

I'm beginning to realise that despite their being demanding, annoying, self-centred and supercillious, having cats is less of a danger to my own health... except of course, for the nerves.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 01:21 AM

"I want to try to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am." -- an anonymous quote I came across recently.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: GUEST,KT logged out
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 02:21 AM

"I know he tries to pinch your scrunchies but he has never done that to me."      

HHmmmmmmmmm.........



Little Hawk, we had a Lance, too, and a very fine German Shepherd he was. Great family dog! Used to think he was a sled dog, and pulled us along the snowy streets during those Buffalo winters.

KT

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: GUEST,KT still not logged in
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 02:25 AM

Our Corky was a wanderer when he was young, and would steal away if he got the chance. (mailman leaving the door open too long and such). I once got a call from the Governor's office, saying that Corky was there but the gov had other things to do so would I please come and get him? Small town.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 02:34 AM

Well.....I've I've driven to the vet at a speed far exceeding any of our limits, with one hand trying to restrain a dog snarling in convusions on the seat beside me, jumped into any icy river to rescue one from the undertow of a waterfall, bandaged two up with sanitary napkins for more quick trips to the vet and dragged the wee frozen body of one a mile uphill on a kid's saucer sled in a snow storm....I figure that's enough for one lifetime......ya owe me, you mangey mutts!!!

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 02:39 AM

On second thought.....you owe me nothing, I do it again, anytime and more, in a heartbeat.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: kendall
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 07:36 AM

Phil, I was struck by your PROPER use of the word "Foundering". Most people say FLoundering.

I would do anything for my dog that I would do for any other dear friend.

Subject: RE: BS: What would you do for your dog?
From: Scoville
Date: 05 Jun 07 - 10:30 AM

Actually, I think "floundering", as in, "flapping around like a flounder [i.e. fish]" is pretty accepted usage; they simply don't mean exactly the same thing. Technically, the dog is doing both, floundering because he is foundering in the current.