BS: How fast do you drivel?

Subject: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:09 PM

I drivel at roughly twice the speed of sound. I used to drivel at slightly more than the speed of light, but someone told me that nothing can exceed the speed of light, so I had to slow down. Didn't want to break any laws, especially the laws of physics.

But, you know, maybe they're wrong. I mean, physicists are really smart people, and smart people don't drivel. It takes a real idiot to drivel. For example, this post was started by an idiot and look at how its driveling rate is accelerating! It started out being merely inane and pointless, and now it makes no fucking sense at all! Hell, it's driveling along at near light-speed and still has one wheel stuck in a rut!

And, also, when they talk about nothing can exceed the speed of light, they're talking about light moving through a vacuum. Light can be slowed down. All you have to do is catch the light in a jar of mollasses (treacle to you Brits). A snail crawls twice as fast as a sunbeam caught in a vat of treacle. (I've decided I like "treacle" better than "mollasses". It sounds more disgusting.) Even a smart person can drivel faster than that.

Drivel safely and don't forget to buckle up.

And, for God's sake, eat your cucumbers!

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:14 PM

That's true, Bee-Dubya. If everything were coated with treacle we'd all be better off. And slower, too.

My driveling speed varies with varying conditions and various circumstances.

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:15 PM

I can see now that this will turn into a very kinky thread.

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:24 PM

You're right, Rapaire, there must be some sort of connection between treacle and driveling, though the exact nature of that connection is somewhat enigmatic. Maybe the cucumber knows.

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:32 PM

I think that we must conduct an experiment: someone will jog through a vat, a veritable sea, of treacle and in so doing will determine the connection between treacle and driveling, for only the running knows.

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 12:00 AM

At almost lightning-like speed.

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 12:04 AM

Is your goal to test a treacle trickle or a drivel dribble?

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 12:11 AM

That's what I'd like to know! And what of the maple syrup? And how do we work Liz's tits into this driveling thing?

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 12:15 AM

I can see the headline now

Tired tits tricked, trapped in treacle trickle

The SPCA or the Audubon Society would be down on you in a twinkling!

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:15 AM

We like the Moo-oo-oo-oo-oon!

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 06:20 PM

I can drivel at about 60 words per minute - 85 if they're small. 100 if they're not spelled correctly.

My tits like to do it upsidedown. Mind you, the feeder has been empty for a few days... I must fill my nut pecker up too.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 10:25 PM

I have a big piece of pipe in the back yard, the mast for one of those old, huge satellite TV antennae. Other day a wood pecker was beating away at it. I don't think he'll reproduce....

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 10:37 PM

Sadly Rapaire, I suspect that he will... just like politicians and the rich...

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 10:53 PM

That type of woodpecker behavior is called "drumming". It's not pecking for food, but pecking to show off. The idea is to make lots of noise and sound cool to woodpeckers of the opposite sex. Canister-type electrical transformers are quite popular among sonically adventurous peckers. You should be pleased that a woodpecker thinks your TV mast has a pleasing resonance.

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 10:56 PM

So the peckerhead woodpecker was basically thinking with his pecker, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 11:05 PM

So, Paris is behind bars, huh? I say, GOOD! Serves him right for running off with another man's wife (the hussy!).

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 12:31 AM

;-D

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 01:28 AM

I suppose when he got away from Troy, bars were the only places he could tell his story....

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 09:32 AM

Yes, it was the original menage a Troy.

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Scoville
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 02:54 PM

My maternal grandfather once told my mother that my dad's epitaph should be, "He never used a sentence when a paragraph would do."

Man, can my dad talk. He's brilliant, but I would say he can give anyone a run for their money in the driveling department.

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: terrier
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 04:59 PM

Tdrreiavcelle
TDRREIAVCELLE

Hey, drivelling through treacle is as difficult in upper case as it is in lower case

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 06:22 PM

It's really quite easy once you know how:


    t   
t r
drivel
e a
a c
c l
l e
e

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 07:48 PM

"I was drivelling through the treacle one day
In the merry, merry month of May.
But I lost my upper case,
In the furor of the chase-
And

   t   
t r
drivel
e a
a c
c l
l e
e

had to call on e.e.cummings straightaway."

Subject: RE: BS: How fast do you drivel?
From: terrier
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 06:31 PM

ELLECVAIERRDT

...and it's just as difficult to get out!

Deliver Claret ... you could get lost in the stuff doing it this way.