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BS: Different Takes On Jesus
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Subject: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Mickey191 Date: 01 Jul 07 - 01:47 PM I hope this produces just a smile - no offense intended. There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone "brother" 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He couldn't get a fair trial. Then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God. Also 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with his hands. 2. He had wine with every meal. 3. He used olive oil. Also there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut his hair. 2. He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. Also there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman: 1. He had to feed a crowd in a moment's notice when there was no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for Him to do. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 01 Jul 07 - 04:15 PM Love it! And all true. Jesus was all of the above.. :-) Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Peace Date: 01 Jul 07 - 04:16 PM I agree with Jerry on that one. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:03 AM We had a Religious Supper last night... Four Cheeses Pasta! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Joe Offer Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:17 AM Deja vu, all over again. -Yogi Berra- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: GUEST Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:47 AM Jesus was a man who understood his divine nature. And he wanted others to understand their divine nature too. For the most part, they didn't get it.
Thanks. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: wysiwyg Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:56 AM I always find it interesting how easy it is for us to remake Jesus into the way we'd like to see Him, instead of letting Him help us remake ourselves into how He sees us. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: JennyO Date: 02 Jul 07 - 03:57 AM We had a Religious Supper last night... Four Cheeses Pasta! Reminds me of a song a friend of mine wrote - "Jesus is the pasta in my life". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Liz the Squeak Date: 02 Jul 07 - 04:20 AM We're bigger than cheeses. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 02 Jul 07 - 06:10 AM What a friend we have in cheeses, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Mickey191 Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:30 AM Sorry Joe. Remove the thread if you'd like.
-Joe- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Rog Peek Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:37 PM Jesus was a working man, A hero as you shall hear. Born in the slums of Bethle-(Am)hem At the turning of the year, Yes, the turning of the year. When Jesus was a little lad. The streets rang with his name, For he argued with the aldermen And he put them all to shame. Yes he... He became a wandering journeyman And he wandered far and wide, And he saw how wealth and poverty Lived always side by side, Yes... He said, "Come all you working men, You farmers and weavers, too. If you will only organize, This world belongs to you, Yes... When the rich men heard what the carpenter had done, To the Roman troops they ran. Saying "Put this rebel Jesus down, He's a menace to god and man, Yes... Jesus walked among the poor For the poor were his own kind, And they wouldn't let the cops get near enough To take him from behind, Yes... So they hired one of the traitor's trade And a stool-pigeon was he And he sold his brother to the butcher's men For a fistful of silver money. Yes... When Jesus lay in the prisoner's cell, They beat him and offered him bribes To desert the cause of his own dear folk And work for the rich men's tribe, Yes... The commander of the occupying troops He laughed and then he said, "There's a cross to spare on Calvary Hill, By the weekend he'll be dead, Yes.. The sweat stood out upon his brow And the blood was in his eye, And they nailed his body to the Roman cross And they laughed as they watched him die, Yes.. Two thousand years have passed and gone, And many a hero too, But the dream of this poor carpenter At last it is coming true, Yes... Ballad of The Carpenter by Ewan MacColl Phil Ochs recorded this (with some minor changes) on "I Ain't Marching Anymore" track 12. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: frogprince Date: 03 Jul 07 - 11:03 AM And Jesus was a sailor When he walked upon the water And he spent a long time watching From his lonely wooden tower And when he knew for certain Only drowning men could see him He said "All men will be sailors then Until the sea shall free them" But he himself was broken Long before the sky would open Forsaken, almost human He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone And you want to travel with him And you want to travel blind And you think maybe you'll trust him For he's touched your perfect body with his mind. "Suzanne", Leonard Cohen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: bobad Date: 03 Jul 07 - 11:51 AM Jesus And His Brothers |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: goatfell Date: 03 Jul 07 - 12:08 PM As a Christian I love it, some won't that's these Christians who have tunnel vision |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Jul 07 - 12:31 PM Same here Arran... if God hadn't wanted us to laugh at ourselves, he'd never have given us the ability. I caused a near apoplexy in a curate once as I stood, barefoot, on the "high altar" to clean the windows behind it. As soon as he found out that it was only a pretty table and not a consecrated altar, he calmed down. He still hasn't satisfactorily explained the difference between a table and a table that is treated as a 'graven image'... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: GUEST,BobL Date: 03 Jul 07 - 12:33 PM I remember this one as an "Irish" qualification: ... His last request was for a drink |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: JennyO Date: 03 Jul 07 - 01:26 PM The same friend I mentioned, who wrote "Jesus is the pasta in my life" also wrote another song - "Jesus is my drinking pal". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Wolfgang Date: 03 Jul 07 - 01:52 PM Well, it is fun as long as the examples are unpolitical and about people we do like or at the very least do not dislike. The next example is a borderline case of funny, for it is too political: Three good arguments that Jesus was Palestinian: He had to leave at a very early age his native home in Palestine under threat of death. His later death came at the wish of a large crowd of Jews. He said: "I did not come to bring peace, but a sword" The next one is not funny though it has the same structure as all of the above (looking for superficial similarities). We just do not like Jesus to be compared to a generally detested group (person) even ifwe know it is not serious at all: Three good arguments that Jesus was (a former incarnation of) Hitler: He could mesmerize large audiences by the power of his word. He acted as if being a master of life and death. His actual relationship to the females among his close followers is still a mystery. Wolfgang (in a fit of very bad taste) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Jul 07 - 01:57 PM (snort!) Oh my, Wolfgang, you are so terrible! ;-) You're almost as bad as that parrot on Youtube. Shame, shame... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Bill D Date: 03 Jul 07 - 06:43 PM some VERY different takes on Jesus sample: Jesus: "Guess what's more debasing than to believe in something that never existed?" Simon: "What?" Jesus: "To stop believing in something that never existed." (Thats'a short one...some pieces are many pages long.) The book is almost impossible to characterize easily. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Bill D Date: 03 Jul 07 - 06:53 PM More...a review o the book |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Riginslinger Date: 03 Jul 07 - 11:20 PM Anybody ever read "The Last Temptation of Christ" by that Greek guy? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: SharonA Date: 04 Jul 07 - 01:09 AM JESUS' BROTHER BOB by The Arrogant Worms If you haven't heard of me, I wouldn't be surprised I bet you know my relatives, their names will never die My mother is a saint and my brother is a God But all I am is Jesus' brother Bob CHORUS: Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob A nobody relative of the son of God If only I'd been born just a little sooner I'd be more than the brother of God Jr. I have to pay the ferry to cross to Galilee But not my brother (no, not him!). He walks across for free I finally get to work 'bout a quarter after nine Already he's turning water into wine CHORUS One day when I was home, I heard a mighty roar (roar) There were a thousand people right outside the door "Help us Jesus, help us" came the cheering from the mob Then they got a look at me: "Aah, nuts, it's only Bob" CHORUS He died up on the cross, I thought that I was free Finally, people would get to know me for me ("Hi Bob", "Hey Judas", "Hey") This was my big chance to finally get ahead The next thing you know, he's rising from the dead CHORUS Everybody! Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob A nobody relative of the son of God If only I'd been born just a little sooner I'd be more than the brother of God Jr. Ahhhhhhh-Bob [to the tune of "Amen"] |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: Bill D Date: 04 Jul 07 - 11:20 AM Jesus?... He was pretty good! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus From: katlaughing Date: 04 Jul 07 - 12:51 PM Thanks for the book reference, Bill. I am going to get a copy to read. Have to say, though, this is nothing new to Rosicrucians: Jesus is portrayed as a conscious being who is cognizant of the character he is playing. Certain patterns, events and suffering are to be expected each time. There is nothing new, no surprises. Only minor variations occur. bobad...LOL, thanks for the levity! |
