BS: When We Were Pregnant

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Noreen
Date: 19 Dec 15 - 05:32 PM

Thanks for refreshing this thread, Janie, I've just read through all of it- I never saw it the first time around.

This is the sort of lovely, friendly thread we used to take part in.

Thanks all for sharing such important memories and experiences with us- including at least two of the old school who are no longer with us.

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Dec 15 - 04:56 PM

Call him at exactly that time.... my mother did that to me when I was 35, and I was born at 5:30 AM.

"Happy Birthday", she said... "Hunh?" I replied... "Well, 35 years ago, you got me out of bed at 5 AM," she said....


(oh.. I just noticed it was today.... well, you will have other years...)

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 17 Dec 15 - 11:15 PM

My young adult son's birthday is tommorrow - at 9:03 am to be exact.
Sent me down memory lane, and reminded me of this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 09:07 AM

Liz - you are right........though I wouldn't define three as multiple........I think the first one was so inredibly difficult that I figured nothing could be worse!!!!!! And the second one was a piece of cake.......easy, calm, slept all the time -- just a doll. BTW - I'm with Andrea---there is no better diet (for me) than being pregnant -- the weight fell off me with the first one and never really came back.....(thank you Lord).

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: maeve
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 06:53 AM

Liz- I've not had the pleasure of meeting either of you, but from what I read of Limpet you've done an outstanding job of parenting.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 06:08 AM

Interesting that two people who say they weren't cut out to be parents, have multiple children. Obviously something changed with the first child.

No way on earth would I ever do that again. Never. Nope. Screwing up one child's life is bad enough, I wouldn't inflict me on more!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: mouldy
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 05:08 AM

I have had 3. The first is now a pregnant father himself.

Pregnancy was the best diet I have ever had, as I went off food in general and felt queasy with all of them for the first 5 months or so. With my second, having lost half a stone by 16 weeks, I had my midwife (one of the old school) threatening to turn up and force feed me breakfast. By 20 weeks I was back to pre-pregnancy weight. I put on most weight with my first (20lbs - and he was 8lbs 12oz). The girls were 7lbs 10oz and 7lbs 11½lbs, and I don't think I put more than 12 or 14 lbs on with either of them. My son had the biggest head, was nearly forceps delivery, etc. After that it was like shelling peas, and I had stitch free deliveries with the girls.

When I was pregnant the second time I used to take my toddler son to the local midwife/GP check ups, and he would watch how they felt and measured the development. He often used to climb into bed in the morning with me, and I used to let him feel the bump like the doctor/midwife did, and talk about the baby - he was fascinated. That was until at about 39 weeks when she kicked him hard... and they quite often took up the fight again after that! Now they're grown up nothing changes! (Imagine the play punch-up between a 6' 4" flood defence officer and a 5' 8" pharmacist. One aged 25, the other 23 (20 months between them). This was at the Christmas dinner table, pre meal, and resulted in a Chinese burns & fork jabbed into hand scenario. As he points out frequently, he still bears the scar!) There is a 5½ gap between the girls, so Ruth has been spared.

It's a pity I'm too old to be pregnant again - I need the weight loss!

Andrea

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 12 Nov 07 - 03:59 AM

I love being a mother....didn't think I would, the thought filled me with dread and horror, but things have turned out differently. I've still got the terrible 2's and the teen years to go through but I'm sure I will still feel blessed.

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: KT
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 04:13 PM

Amos, I can't see my screen after reading your post!
KT

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:32 AM

Hell, it's the reward you get for the investment you make; whether it is nurturing instinct, or just plain reason, you gotta do the best you can for 'em and hope they go forward with enough wits to make things a bit better in their corner. We feel completely blessed...now. During the teen years, it was debatable, but we held on and did the best we could anyway.

A

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:05 AM

Liz -- love your total honesty here......think there are many more of us out there wired like that but society just makes itso unacceptable to say it! I met up with one of my clients when her child was about three months old ----- I could tell she wzs in the same place we were by looking at her. A couple of yeares later, she told me it was such heaven for me to give her permission to say she didn't like being a mother.


I too, do not understand how single parents (or the children thereof) survive... I would have been institutionalized without a supportive husband who was ok with me not liking motherhood!!! Now, being the parent of young adults (25, 22 and 19) -- now that is really cool and makes up for everything I went through.......! Hope they think so too!

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 03:05 AM

Trubrit - I understand exactly what you mean. I was never meant to be a mother either. As I said above, I'm STILL waiting for that mothering instinct to kick in.

Not so much when she was tiny, because I kept working part time whilst a colleague and I shared childminding and his daughter (Limpit's best friend, 6 months younger and 6 inches taller!), but later, when she was about 3 and I'd been "let go" from that job and was at home either with her or waiting for her. 6 months of that turned me into a raving basket case, which subsided when I got another job. After 2 years in that job, I had some trouble with a bullying manager and took several weeks off. Those weeks at home, again either with her or for her, tipped me over the edge into 'dangerous basket case'. It was whilst chasing her around the dining room table explaining infanticide to her that I decided I needed to a) get some professional help and b) get out of the house more!

I've never deliberately hurt her, and would seriously damage anyone who tried to, but there have been many times that I have been glad I had Manitas around so I can disappear on my own for a day. Had I been a single parent, I have absolutely no doubts at all that I would be in some kind of institution by now.


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 01:04 AM

I never gave any serious thought to having a baby -- I was perfectly happy as I was -- I married a child centered man and so children seemed to be inevitable. I had my first child at 32 -- I had never diapered a baby, baby sat or done any of the things that normal people do with babies ------I quit work because all the 'tapes' in my head said -- women stay home when they have babsies becasue that is what my mother did My husband and I had moved up state because he had just graduated law school.......all my connections were down South. We had one car that he drove and I was hom 24/7 with this little 'thing' that cried constantly. O n her sixth week birthday I took her to the doctors who checked her out and said the babywas fine, how was I? I think I cried for an hour and this wonderful man said his wife was a counselor and he would send her to my house next day. When she came, she took one look at me and said -- lady , get back to work. I can't , I sobbed,. I have this BABY to look after. She looked me in the eye and said, and just what the hell good do you think you are doing this baby in the state you are in ---- GO BACK TO WORK. I went back to work. The only thing I enjoyed about Penny being small was nursing her - and that was a joy. With the other two, I took off about 6 weeks from work and went right back -- and was much the better parent for it........

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 12:01 AM

More Dad stories!

And more adoptive parent stories! Earlier I said it took the hormone bath of pregnancy to turn me into a parent. I don't think I would have been capable of bonding without it. And I've read that fathers also undergo hormonal changes that foster bonding. But adoptiive parents experience the same bonding process. So, that relationship between hormones and parental bonding is clearly a two way street.

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 09:15 PM

I understand, Dave ... I think.

I had dom the LaMaze, and read the books on natural childbirth, and all the forethoguht I put into this miracle went by the boards when we, too, had to accept the choice of a Caesarean section. I sat outside the sheet barrier, holding BBW's hand; she was largely beyond normal dialogue while the operation was done. When Barky was out, the nurse wiped her off, put a wee white cap on her head, wrapped her in a blanket, and handed her to me.

I thought I was ready, but the reality of the moment when my child was placed in my arms, and I looked into those calm, steady blue eyes for the first time...well, I might as well have said I was ready for Katrina's waters; I was swept up in a river bigger than I had imagined, with no paddles or water wings. Just washed away. I was misty-eyed for two days.

It is a moment I have never outgrown or forgotten.


A

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: David C. Carter
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 07:27 PM

When my wife was seven months pregnant,the doctors said that our baby was so tiny that he would never survive the birth.That sent her into a depression,not to mention my state of mind.
At eight months,it was decided that a Caesarian would be the best all round.Meaning that I couldn't be there to witness the birth.
She refused the offer of anaestetics up untill the moment when the pain of having her stomach opened became too much.
Consequently,I was the first to see our son,Vladimir.Weighing 2kilos
100 grams.What a fantastic moment.That was 20 years ago this October.
He now stands at 1.85 metres.The greatest gift one person can give to another.
I should have put all this a lot better but....

David

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 06:40 PM

Just so, and beautifully put.


A

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 06:34 PM

Sounds like Dad got a kick out of it too.

Do you remember the peering and squinting to try to discern just who this little person on the sonogram screen really was? I remember thinking those ultrasounds images would unveil a mystery. Seeing the images was thrilling, left the mystery untouched.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 11:45 AM

Janie:

Thanks for the refresh. I am gobsmacked at the clarity and soul of your writing.

When Barky was in her perhaps fifth month of gestation, we had an amniocentesis done, because we had gotten pregnant relatively late in life. They used an ultrasound to track the process -- a thin needle is dropped into the amniotic fluid and extracts a sample for analysis. In the grainy gray and white display we saw Barky floating around, and when the needle appeared at one end of the womb, instead of flinching from the unknown invasion, she unfolded and reached out to try and grab it. The doctor got a kick out of it. I knew at that point that she was going to be just fine.

A

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 12:09 AM

Not sure why I went hunting for this thread to reread, but I'm glad I did.

Think I'll refresh to see of we get more stories.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 03:54 PM

{{{{{{SPAW & KAREN}}}}}}}

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jul 07 - 03:24 PM

Thanks to a lot of you old timers for a thoroughly enjoyable thread, much as they used to be around here. I needed this one.

Karen and I share the adoption experience with Sinsull. The county agency came to us about Tris only a few weeks before he was born and we knew all the possible problems that he might encounter in life but for us those weeks of waiting were an unusual experience in themselves. Fortunately Tris has done very well, MRDD and Autistic of course, but going far beyond any expectations we had for him. It is hard to believe he will soon be 16. His birth mother is also MRDD but had the foresight to make a plan for him.

Michael came to us at 10 months old, already removed from his bio-mom once before. We worked toward reunification but after a year it was not happening and the agency allowed us to adopt him. It was a long wait between the decision to adopt him and the final decree and we sweated it out like Sinsull did.

If there is one thing that those of you who read this should do is remember the joys of your own and then speak up to those who are just coming of age. Scream at them loudly and with gusto that not one drop of alcohol should they drink and not one toke should they take. Although Tristan's bio-mom was MRDD, she didn't use either drink or drugs. Michael was not so fortunate. He is experiencing many of the problems of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum kids and our best efforts aside, he is struggling at best and the sadness Karen and I feel cannot be told.

So go out and stop FASD from becoming even more prevalent. You can bet your ass we will be as it may be the only thing we can do for the future Michaels.......and for our son as well.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: cookster
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 11:30 PM

Hey Sorcha, as I said before I am sorry,but I never did use your last name.

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: maeve
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 10:54 PM

And what I would give for that pain and hard work resulting in children.

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 08:06 PM

I hated every second of it. Remember thinking how glad I was that neither was twins. There HAS to be a better way.

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 07:22 PM

Two words. One of them is 'off'.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 06:15 PM

Me, too, Micca!!

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Micca
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 06:13 PM

kat, i would say that was stretching things a bit too far!!

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Diva
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 03:06 PM

ouch!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 10:33 AM

Tsk...naughty boy!**bg**

How would you like to have been these women, folks:

THE REGION; Baby Weighs In At Over 16 Pounds
Published: April 13, 1983

A newborn baby boy who weighed in at 16 pounds, 6 ounces doesn't fit into his bassinet or his baby clothes, but he is healthy and ready to go home, his mother said today...

The largest baby ever, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, was a 20-pound child born in Turkey.

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 09:26 AM

Sorry ladies, but I can't help it:

When I was pregnant I wore a plaid shawl,
Now that I'm married I've nothin' at all....

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: MBSLynne
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 07:19 AM

Richard was 8lb 15. Shady was only 7lb 10 so perhaps I could have managed to get her out ok, but it was all planned anyway. Never had that interesting experience of having to push. I still feel as though I've missed something

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Partridge
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 04:02 AM

Big smig...
Rosie - 8.00lbs
Tom 8.13lbs
Sophie 9.00lbs
Patrick 8.7lbs
I pushed and I pushed

pat xxx

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 08:01 PM

Big Smig... Limpit was 8lb 12 1/2 oz and wasn't even full term! No WAY I was pushing that out of my fanny!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Partridge
Date: 16 Jul 07 - 01:14 PM

Where to begin.......... I have had five children.
My first was daughter Jennifer, it was a bit of a shock. I read everything I could about childbirth, but it did not prepare me for the real thing. One of the most embarassing things was the nurse that had to shave my nether regions was a girl I went to school with.
Jenny was 17 days overdue, so I was induced. My doctor put my legs up in stirrups and then disappeared leaving the door wide open - leaving all and sundry to see me in this vunrable state My husbands uncle who was an electrian popped in to say hello!

the labour went on for 12 hours - I went to the national chilbirth classes so the breathing techniques helped me manage the pain. They kept telling me that I was having asmall baby and that i had lots of water - it turned out that the baby was big (7.11)

She was born at silly o'clock in the early hours of the morning - they gave me an episiotomy and I had had to have several pints of blood as I bled alot,

I remember the pushing bit - very strange, there is no way you cannot push, you just have to do it.

Pat xx

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:00 AM

Priceless!

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 04:46 AM

Whilst I was pregnant, I worked in a library.

One day a small child came in with her mother, pointed at me and said 'Why's that lady so fat?' I replied with 'I've got a baby in my tummy'. She looked thoughtful for a moment and then piped up with...

'How do you change its nappy?'

Can't beat the logic of a 3yr old...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 12:12 PM

I too was surprised at the amount of people reaching out and touching my bump, even people that I didn't know. I absolutely hated it, I felt as though it was an invasion of my personal space. I didn't mind people talking to me and smiling, but not touching.

Now when I'm out and about with Harry in his pram or carrier people stop and ask about him, how old he is etc. Paul and were in the bank today opening Harry's trust account and a number of people stopped to talk to him. He's a sociable baby and smiles at everyone!

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 11:01 AM

Thus we have the origin of the expression"...and after all I have done for you...." *grin*

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: MBSLynne
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 05:45 AM

I always find it interesting how many people will touch one's 'bump'. People who would never think of laying a hand on a casual aquaintance or even a perfect stranger will stroke the bump or just lay their hand on it in passing. It's another thing that seems instinctive and they don't seem embarassed by it even though they would probably be terribly embarassed if they accidentally touched you if you weren't pregnant.

And from the other side. I'm not a touchy person generally and don't really like people to touch me gratuitously but I never minded that at all

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 03:09 AM

I would like to paraphrase Diana, Princess of Wales here....

If men were the ones who had babies, they would be all be only children.

And to quote someone who is not Oscar Wilde - one should try everything once except incest and folk dancing - to which I would add, and childbirth.

Because Limpit was such an awkward little cuss (was?? Still is - her school report described her as a 'true English eccentric'), and I was supposed to be asthmatic (turns out it was a heart condition... great diagnosis doc!), a section was always on the cards. When it was finally shown she wasn't turning and was wedged in, it was all planned out.

I remember telling the anaesthetist that my back was very sensitive and he remarked that I was the only person who giggled when he counted down the vertebrae. It was at this point, as the needle went in that I said I'd changed my mind and wanted a puppy. He then spent some time talking about real ale with Manitas, whom I'd dragged in with me for no other reason than to swear at, whilst I lost my legs.

I was also put at that strange angle and the barrier errected. The surgeons then put on those face guards that gave me a lovely reflected view in wraparound! I remember very little about the actual operation other than some tugging, the swearing of the surgeon as he dropped an instrument with a clang, a raddled splat as something squidgy hit the floor - causing an amusing backwards leap by the same surgeon whilst his hands stayed perfectly still.... and the anaesthetist looking over and saying 'that's a little girl in there'.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 14 Jul 07 - 12:04 AM

One thing that awed me during my pregnancy was the amount of positive attention people, even perfect strangers, lavish on an obviously pregnant woman. Really, it is the preamble to the wonderful, warm reception most people give to babies and very young children in general. By and large, people tend to smile and exude warmth and unconditional positive regard toward the very young of our species. How many times have you stood in line in a grocery, behind a woman or man with an infant in a carrier, and cooed, smiled, oohed and ahhed at the little bit of helpless flesh in front of you? It seems to be instinctive. And it is so necessary to the infant to have those experiences as universally as possible.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: MBSLynne
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 07:03 AM

With my second, they advised planned Caesarian "In view of my age" and the fact that the previous one was difficult. Though I was a bit sorry, it did make it easier to sort out care for Richard while we were both at the hospital. It was nice and relaxed, we packed, took Richard to his Godmother's and went to the hospital. We were the first on the list and had to wait because the anaesthetist hadn't yet arrived. The room was full of people, all chatting in a relaxed manner while we waited. I told them that I really wanted a girl because Richard, who was then 4 1/2, determinedly didn't want a brother. He said "If it's a girl it's mine but if it's a boy it's yours". People had said he'd get used to a brother, but he was such a stubborn little so-and-so that I wasn't so sure.

Everything went smoothly and I felt very little but a bit of tugging. One of the nurses said "I can see a lot of dark hair". Then as they hauled her out the nurse said "It's a little girl!" at which point I burst into tears, mostly of relief that I didn't have to try and convince Richard that a brother was a good thing.

I'd arranged to be sterilized at the time and that bit was the worst part as it felt as though they were trying to pull everything else out of my abdomen. Sometime around then, the paediatrician peered over my head and said "As far as I can tell you have a healthy baby girl". What lovely words!

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: MBSLynne
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 06:56 AM

I went into labour naturally with my first, waited for the contractions to become closer together, which seemed to happen suddenly after hours of being occasional. We went off to the hospital by which time I was so far dilated that I went straight into the labour ward. Spent the next few hours alternately walking around and kneeling with my back to Ted so he could rub it..the only thing that helped. At some point when was upright my waters broke and were slightly brown-tinged so they began to watch more alertly. Because I'd said I wanted a natural birth they put off as long as possible doing a section. By the time I got into the stage of labour where the baby is trying to push through the cervix It was absolute agony. It appeared that his head was too big to pass through. They decided that he was becoming distressed and that they must perform a section but that I could have an epidural. I agreed to that and signed the paper though my hand was shaking so much it looked nothing like my signature anyway. By this time I'd gone mostly animal and wasn't very aware of much outside my body. I screamed the place down when they tried to put a catheter in.

They gave me the epidural, waited as long as they could then ran the scalpel across my tummy...which I felt. There was no choice then and they had to go for the general anaesthetic. The one thing that stands out vividly is the anaesthetist saying "Just a little prick" and me thinking "They don't really say that!! I must be dreaming". I wanted to laugh uproariously but couldn't.

Next thing I knew was the nurse waking me up and saying that I had a little boy and that Daddy had had a hold and a bit of a cry. Yes, I think I felt perhaps more cheated than jealous, but the same as you guys really. The next thing was Ted telling me that he had rung my parents and that my father (who wanted a granddaughter) had said "You'll have to do better next time". "NEXT TIME!!!!!" I bellowed.

Richard had to go into SCBU which, at that time was, stupidly, quite a long way from the ward. Since I was absolutely determined to breast feed, I kept making the walk to the Unit to feed him. They were all amazed that I managed it immediately after the Caesarian. I did have to give in and be pushed in a chair a couple of times and I felt like such a wimp.

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 04:55 AM

A wonderful piece of writing Janie!

I was more relieved than anything else when I was wheeled into theatre for the c section. After 48 hours of labour I had pretty much had enough! I was told at about 5 months that there was a strong possibility that I would need a c section so mentally I had prepared for it. The wonderful moment when I heard his first cry was magical but I was a tad jealous when he was handed to his Dad for his first cuddle. I still remember that feeling and the feeling that I was going to fall off the table as they had it at a slight angle so the baby wasn't sitting on my nerves and organs while they operated. The whole experience was strange and felt like it was happening to someone else.

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: MBSLynne
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 03:13 AM

Brilliant Janie! Wish I could write descriptives like that.

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 13 Jul 07 - 01:20 AM

While I had high hopes the delivery of my son would be much different, I couldn't help but have more than the normal amount of trepidation when I went into labor with him. Hubby had urged me throughout the pregnancy to commit to a 'natural' childbirth, and though he tried to hide it, was resentful that I would not do so. And I felt guilty that I wasn't willing to make that commitment. Because of my age, it was considered a high risk pregnancy, and that gave me an excuse to opt out of home birth or a birthing center. Several of our friends were lay midwives and had offered to attend a home birth. They truly respected my decision not to go that route, but I still felt pressured and cowardly.

When my contractions were close enough to call the nurse to get the go-head to go to the hospital, Hubby asked me to wait a few minutes for him to walk the dog and call a friend with whom we had prearranged to come and get the get dog when we called. Hubby was gone for more than an hour and I got freaked out. By the time he came home from the dog walk I was hyperventilating. He called the nurse for authorization and we headed for the hospital. An hour later, when I was finally up in labor-and-delivery, the first thing I did was ask for a paper bag to breath into and an epideral. Then I lay there for 8 hours, completely disconnected from the lower half of my body except by watching the monitors that showed the contractions and the baby's heartbeat. I felt so disconnected, so dissociated from the main event, here in these final hours of what had been 9 months of feeling like I was one with the Goddess.

Finally, the monitors, my sudden nausea, pressure on my bowels, and an examination by the nurse that indicated the baby's head had crowned solidified into a call for action. I was called on to be a participant again, and not merely an observer of monitors between naps.

Push! Push! Push! The epideral is starting to wear off, which is good - makes it clear it is not interferring with the pushing.

Ain't nothin' happenin'. I overhear discussions between nurse and doc. Baby's unusally big head. Mother's 42 year old, rigid bones. Hear the doc wondering if the epidural is keeping me from pushing hard enough. Hear the more experienced nurse tell him she thinks I'm pushing just fine, and the epidural was scheduled to have been renewed over an hour ago.

They begin to talk c-section. I ask to be included in the discussion.   Hubby, who has been dozing in a recliner, gets involved. He has more than his fair share of testosterone under normal circumstances. Toss a little stress into the mix, and he can seem very hostile and aggressive. Sometimes that's good. Sometimes not. Now it is not. Seeing what is coming, I ask nurse to call a close friend of hubby's who lives near the hospital. She does so and puts phone to my ear. I ask friend to come poste haste to help Hubby calm down so I can have this baby.

Pains are becoming more intense by the minute as the epideral fades into history. Hubby talks over me, insists that he and the doc confer out in the hall. I tell Hubby to shut up and sit down, I need him to help me focus to manage the pain. Hubby sits down briefly to try to function as coach. I ask questions as I am able, trying to sort out risks to baby if I hold off on c-section, if pelvis won't give, if forcepsae an option, etc. etc. Hubby is too stressed to contain himself. He starts shouting at doc. Doc takes him out to hall. Overhear doc tell him if he doesn't calm down doc will have him removed from premises.

Friend arrives in record time. talks to doc and Hubby, takes hubby aside and gets him settled down some. By now,epidural is completely worn off, the baby hasn't budged. I ok the c-section.That long awaited moment that I have fantasized about for so long, when he is lifted in the air, emits his cry of life, and then is gently handed over to my maternal care, is not going to happen quite like I had planned.

But the rewards for my compliance and good behavior come quickly, and are three-fold. A nurse anethesist appears from nowhere. Had Harry Potter been around in 1992, I would have sworn she apparated. The epidural is replenished and a fast acting pre-op sedative are administered before I am even wheeled across the hall to the OR. And hubby appears at my side, restored to his senses just as I am losing mine. Dopely, I wonder out loud if this meets the DSM-III criteria for a folie-a-deux.

The OR is freezing-cold. I'm starting to cry in disappointment and shame as my arms are stretched out to either side and strapped to boards. Am I being crucified for caving in? for taking what might be viewed as the easier, softer way? Hubby and nurse assure me it is not so. the drape and barrier go up, so I am again dissociated from the part of my body wherein dwells new life. Hubby is cautioned not to watch the proceeding on the other side of the barrier, lest he faint from the sight of blood and his wife's guts. But his primal rages are accompanied by the primal urge to provide meat for the table of his family by his own hand. He is a serious woodsman and hunter, not for sport, but for food.

Besides that, he was curious. So he watched with great interest as his wife's belly was slashed open and his son was lifted out from the wound. The doctor raised the baby high up over the barrier for me to see, then held him out to the nurse who brought him up close for me to see. I watched with some jealousy as he was handed over to his father. Saw how safe and protected he was in the gentle embrace of that fierce man, then dropped like a rock under the sudden dose of morphine.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 10:29 PM

While the pregnancies themselves were wonderful experiences, I was not psychologically prepared to deal with labor at all.

Of course the labor with that first pregnancy was a symbol of heartbreak, knowing I was only going to deliver a placenta. The soonest a D&C could be scheduled was 6 days after the ultrasound. I was told I might miscarry before then and was told I could expect some severe cramping if that occurred. I was not forewarned that I might have full labor. The cramping started before bedtime the night before the D&C was scheduled. Within a couple of hours I was having rythmic and severe contractions. My husband, worried that I was having such severe pain, called the OB on-call about 1:00am. the guy was an asshole about being awakened in the middle of the night and told him to give me a couple of tylenol. My water broke at about 4:00 am and my husband said enough is enough, let's head to the hospital, we'll only be there an hour ahead of schedule. Even though we had all our paperwork for the D&C in order, we got misrouted to the ER and I was wheeled back to an operating room. A very kind nurse checked on me as much as she could, but was very busy with a car wreck. Hubby went out to move the car, saying he would be right back, and disappeared for 45 minutes. I suddenly had the terrible urge to puke and crap at the same time, staggered off the table, grabbed two plastic basins, and threw up in one as I expelled the placenta into the 2nd. I heard my husband shouting in the hall as I collapsed onto the floor. He burst into the room, chased by two security guards. When he had left to move the car, they would not let him back in. He had been out at the entry to the ER, arguing with them all that time. He finally had shoved one of them into the other, knocking them out of his way, and started running for the OR, the guards in pursuit. The nurse heard the ruckus, came in, instructed the guards on the error of their ways, and then she and Hubby got me up out of the floor and back onto the table. I had just finished 6 hours of hard labor. I am wondering why my doctor is now 1/2 hour late. My doctor, in the meantime, is up on the third floor, wondering why I have stood him up for the scheduled D&C.

It was such a fiasco that neither he or the hospital charged for the 'services.' I also got a letter of apology from the on-call OB who had told hubby to give me two tylenol. And no, we had not threatened to sue.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 09:04 PM

I can definitely be a bit slow....for the longest time, I read Sins' 'signature' ending as CAP SLOCK, instead of CAPS LOCK. I kept wondering why she typed the way she did and what the heck a cap slock was:O)

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: When We Were Pregnant
From: Janie
Date: 12 Jul 07 - 08:59 PM

thanks for the chortle!