BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?

Subject: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 08:36 PM

Mine don't.....but I don't wear any myself. Gave up on socks too. Joined Paul Newman in giving all my dress clothes away as well. But this thread isn't about me. Its about a friend who may no longer be one after this thread. Its about a female friend and is not Karen. But the story begins on a day last week when this person I'll call Bertha was talking to Karen one early morning.

Bertha is in her 50's and she and Karen are friends that talk at a lot of different times of the day, Mornings are good as Bertha is getting ready to go to work and Karen has just gotten home from a night at the hospital lab. Bertha I am given to understand wears 'Vanity Fair" brand panties that she really likes. She mentions that the pair she has just put on is binding though which she says is odd.

Bertha goes off to work and spends the entire day tugging at her undies every chance she gets when no one is watching. She uses the bathroom and tries to hitch them up some more but to no avail. This pair is defective or has gone through the washer/dryer once too often she figures. At the end of the day she arrives home and heads off to her bedroom to change. She decides to change after she uses the bathroom which is off their master bedroom. But Bertha can't just let it go.....She tries to correst things just one more time, pulling here and there and feeling the seams and the sides and then.......

Hey...she thinks....What's this? This seam won't stay down. There's the problem. Now why not? Let's pull here and let's pull over there and.....say, why is that side so "poofy?" Maybe if it would stay down.....But the crotch is so tight it won't.....and it feels funny like......like.....ohmygawd.............I have my underwear on sideways! And indeed she did!

She walked into the bedroom where her husband had just arrived, hitched up her skirt, and said, "Look at this?" Her husband cracks up when he realizes the problem but really let's go when he finds she has worn them sideways all day. The first words he said to her were, "Wait til Pat hears about this one."

I have.......and now, so have you.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 08:45 PM

Chongo has never had that problem. Nor have I. If I did, though, I think I'd keep it to myself. ;-) Does Bertha know about this forum, Spaw?

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Joe_F
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 08:51 PM

No.

In my dialect, which used to be standard English, "underwear" is a singular uncountable noun that includes underpants, undershirts, and union suits. I suppose this weird use of "underwear" as a plural noun meaning underpants must have gotten its start as a euphemism, but these days one sees in even in pornography.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Jeri
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 08:52 PM

How the hell can you put underwear on SIDEWAYS???!!! Backwards is do-able and so is inside out which shouldn't make them fit oddly, but how can you get your legs in the sides?

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 08:55 PM

Depends (pun intended) on how high the legs are cut. High-leg briefs have leg holes that are almost the same circumference as the waistband.

Very funny, Pat!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 08:58 PM

You just have to stand sideways while you put them on, Jeri...

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 09:02 PM

Maggie has it. I asked the same thing but then Karen explained. I guess the Vanity Fair brand also has very similar legbanding and waistband which didn't help either.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Jeri
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 09:03 PM

Ah-- vertically sideways!

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 09:06 PM

Man, that really must be uncomfortable. I bet Winona Ryder has never made this error when putting on her panties.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 09:34 PM

Hey Joe! Sucks to get old huh? Are you in the USA or elsewhere? The term underwear for y-fronts and boxers and the like has been used in the US for years, At least as long as I can remember the term was commonplace. You might wear an undershirt or a T-shirt under your shirt but the doobies under your pants were underwear. But there are other "rules" of sorts here as well.

I guess when I look back 60 years it kinda' went like this..........Men wore underwear or boxer shorts. The term as just "boxers" has become popular over the past few years and they seemto no longer really be treated as underwear at all with even may young women wearing them as well. The "briefs" or "y-fronts" were called underwear or occasionally "Whitey-Tightys." when I was in junior high, the term "U-Trou" came along and has has been around some since.

Women were a different story. Younger women have always worn "panties" but after a certain age it seems they tend to refer to them as underwear. I dunno' what age that happens at but generally by 50 or so panties are a thing of the past. And even if your wife still has some really sexy ones, they become underwear as in, "I can't find those lacey red and black underwear."

Panties was always a vaguely illicit kind of word for guys. When you were in your teens a group of guys might use the word a lot but with a girl or in mixed company back in the 50's it wasn't said. So when you were going for "Third Base" you had to be careful as to not only what you DID and how, but what you said as well. Lines like "Can we just slide 'these' down a bit?" were heard in every backseat at every Drive-In. And there was no sliding anything unless she agreed. Often though nothing was said. The guy would sort of clumsily pull a little and make odd moaning/crying sounds so she knew he was "pleading." A girl knew how to tacitly agree by a quick lift of her hips and if the hips didn't go up, it was time to go home. Well maybe another half hour of French kissing and boob play.........and one more try to steal third.

Damn but it DOES suck to get old...................***sigh***.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 09:43 PM

Maybe Bertha's underwear were on correctly and it was her ass that was on sideways?

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 10:28 PM

Dachshunds never worry about stuff like this.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 10:34 PM

Two legs in the same hole???? Sidewise???? My bras bind up but there is no way to put them on backwards without surgery...

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Charmion
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 10:41 PM

It helps to get dressed with the lights on, or the blinds open if it happens to be daylight outside. Honest -- try it. It works.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 10:48 PM

Bertha enjoys "multi-tasking." To be fair, she was occupied talking to Karen who was also multi-tasking.......The difference was that Karen was putting on her P-J's and Bertha was getting dressed for work.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 11:03 PM

LMAO!!! Ohgawd what images this conjures! And, I always hated the word "panties." "Underpants" was okay. "Drawers" I can live with, even knickers, though the true kind of knickers had no crotch, so maybe Bertha should have some real knickers then it wouldn't be a problem?!

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 08 - 11:49 PM

How about "unmentionables"?

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 12:05 AM

"Maybe Bertha's underwear were on correctly and it was her ass that was on sideways?"

It would be strange to do that with camels' humps.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Bee
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 12:23 AM

The cats are now staring at me because I'm giggling madly at this thread.

I have done exactly what I think poor Bertha did, usually when I've had to get up very, very early and am trying to dress without actually waking up. But generally I figure out something's wrong as soon as I try to haul them up. Bertha must be considerably smaller waisted than I, or has very stretchy undies.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 12:47 AM

LOL...!

This whole thing brings to mind Bertha's Kitty Boutique on Prairie Home Companion and some huge, fluffy cat striding around ala Mae West with a pair of undies on. Must be the name.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Jeanie
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 08:26 AM

Hee hee ! Here's a song that you might like.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 09:27 AM

Are thong underwear still in....in fashon that is:)

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 09:45 AM

does your chewing gum lose its flavor in your underwear overnight?

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 09:59 AM

Any advice on innovative approaches to remove gum from hair?

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 10:30 AM

God Bless Pat. :~)


Ya know it's really a problem when someone else's underwear binds up on me. Mine I can always tug back where they belong, on the days I wear any that is. Someone else's, though--- that's a little harder to get ahold of.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: olddude
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 11:02 AM

I hate it when it happens to me

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 11:04 AM

Time to change them when you see the two wear holes caused by "the boys"?

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: kendall
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 11:27 AM

When I was a boy, they were called, "Step ins" or Bloomers.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 11:39 AM

Do Your politicians Bind Up on You?

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 12:24 PM

ROFLMAO!!!

I have done this. It's easier when the garment in question is elderly and stretched and you're dressing in the dark.

I have a set of black ones that I'm forever getting back to front or inside out. Being a girl, that's not such a problem, but I did once had a gentleman friend who spent a very confused morning (with a spanking hangover) trying to put his own underpants on the right way. It took him to lunch time to figure out he'd picked up a pair of mine instead of his own.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 01:07 PM

I had a close friend that once confided to me that the feathers on his undies created some form of binding-type issues.

But, unfortunately, at the time, I did not seek any further details.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Peace
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 01:38 PM

"Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?"

You from Tennessee?

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 01:41 PM

Of course, there is the good old fashioned 'hungry bum' syndrome, where your underwear disappear up your crack as if your bumhole was eating them... embarassing yes, but not so funny.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 04:18 PM

I do not think underwear is at fault here/

I think it is the depth of some people's abyss.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: strad
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 04:31 PM

Hey lts, it's a long time since I had a spanking headache!

(Goes and stands facing the corner of the room)

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 05:19 PM

Wasn't there a song...

"There will be no strings to bind your hands, if my undies cant bind your heart"

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Bee
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 05:20 PM

I did not know one could get a hangover as a result of spanking.

No woner the man had underwear confusion - numb bum.

<<is curious about Liz' lifestyle now...>>

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: frogprince
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 06:08 PM

Some months back, my wife announced that she was going out to buy some new underwear, and that she was going alone. Her next line was, "You've had a hand in every piece of underwear that I have."

...probably true...

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: GUEST,Bertha
Date: 07 Sep 08 - 10:22 PM

SO this was my "15 min of fame"?! And to think this is going all around the world...

Bertie
PS

OH...BTW I was visiting in eastern Ohio earlier yhis year, ran into a guy and a couple of his brothers--had quite an accent...clearly they weren't from "these parts" any wheres close to "'round hyur"...all of them had the same name, too--that is their 1st names not their last...Anyway, the guy was telling this hysterical story about Spaw--seems the last time they were through this way, well maybe Spaw can put the details in...something about Spaw hanging out in the ladies showers. I guess they were hiking around one day and decided it was their masculine duty to investgate some seriously fouled air...Oh yea, I remember! his name was Darryl...and he SWEARS he saw Spaw leaving there...muttering something...

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 08 Sep 08 - 09:16 AM

I too have suffered (and I really mean suffered) from putting knickers on sideways. However I find I have far more problem with them rolling down rather than riding up!

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Becca72
Date: 08 Sep 08 - 09:34 AM

My sister has a name for the chronically-wedgied... Shortus Rectus syndrome.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 03:35 AM

Bee - you would not believe me if I told you!

And you'd probably never want to speak to me again!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Schantieman
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 05:53 AM

"Any advice on innovative approaches to remove gum from hair?"

No.    Remove hair from wherever it's attached at the other end, I'm afraid.


Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Peace
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 07:12 AM

Getting gum out of hair IS a chore. But if you insist, here goes.

1) Soak your head in water, the colder the better

2) Freeze your hair. Easiest to cut a circle out of a piece of thick cardboard, open the freezer door on your fridge, put the cardboard where the door was and then put the part of your head with the gummy hair against the hole and stay there for about 1 1/2 hours

3) Get your head out of there and call a carpenter to bring chisels. If he's done good vcabinets before he'll cleanly and accurately chip the gum off your hair

Voila.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Peace
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 07:14 AM

Now, and sorry for some MINOR thread drift: Has anyone here seen a watermelon implode?

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 07:47 AM

No, but mushrooms in a microwave will ignite if you leave them long enough!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 08:24 AM

I saw a pumpkin implode once. Nasty business.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: john f weldon
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 08:52 AM

For a brief time, there were Japanese 6-day disposable undies. They had three sealable leg-holes, and you were supposed to rotate them 120 degrees each day, then turn them inside out & repeat for 3 more days.

I don't know anyone who actually wore them, and, to tell the truth, would prefer NOT to know!

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 09:00 AM

..........awgeezizkeericedonacrutch..........I think I'm gonna' throw up...........................................6 day rotatable underwear? That's disgusting...................Puts a new twist on the old wearing instructional line, "Yellow in front, brown in back."

You're shittin' us, so to speak, about this aren't you John? PLEASE tell us its a joke........PLEASE!!!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: john f weldon
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 09:05 AM

Sorry, Spaw. Saw them demonstrated on TV. Quite a while ago, probably on the Carson show. They were a real product, but maybe just sold in Japan.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:02 AM

Ddin't one time Sun Page 3 Topless Model Samantha Fox have a hit with a song about paper knickers?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: frogprince
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 12:55 PM

My wife's coworkers gave her a pair of edible panties as a wedding shower gift. Sort of gummy-bear material panties, I guess. The only part that was tasty was the filling.

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 06:42 PM

I think that goes under the heading of WAAAAAY too much information Frogprince!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 07:05 PM

Self cleaning underwear?

http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/2007/01/clean-underwear.html

Subject: RE: BS: Do Your Underwear Bind Up on You?
From: GUEST,Bizibod
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 03:16 PM

I remember youth-hostelling in Derbyshire in my teens ( late 1960's) wearing paper pants the fabric of which looked rather like j-cloths.
By tea-time when you reached the next hostel there was nowt left but the elastic round the waist and shredded rolls of pale blue falling out the legs of your jeans.Happy days !
Walked out of a pub the other night into the path of a lady whose underwear was misbehaving. As she hoiked it back into place she said, " OOh, 'scuse me, I'm taking in washing !"
Laugh? Nearly had to change my own !