BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!

Subject: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 09:10 AM

This will drive Joe Offer nuts. LOL

For your birthday I have not sent you a singing, dancing, light up and burn anything.
Enjoy!
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 09:40 AM

Naughty girl!

Happies at ya Spaw. And a good swift one.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 09:41 AM

Many happies once again Mr Spaw.

Live long, die happy.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: maeve
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 09:52 AM

Don't it just figger that Mr. 'Spaw gets double birthday threads? He must sumpin' special.

Sending happies through the air; nonreturnable so you have to use 'em.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 10:41 AM

Oh, now you've done it Mister Mammalucca. You're in the soup right to the nuts. Hot water, boyo. Two burfday threads in the Land of Offer is, well...it's like a sparerib barbecue in Fallujah, if you see what I mean. It's like, um, significantly non-droll.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Micca
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 11:41 AM

Happy Birthday Spaw.....
Ok Mary Who DID you get to send it ???????

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 12:08 PM

Hmmph...maybe you are the evil twin afterall?! I mean why else would you get TWO birthday threads? (Well, other than Mary being *cute* and trying to piss off Joe on your behalf.)

Well, no matter, we love you and wish you many, many more!! Thanks for being here, darlin'!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 12:17 PM

Ok, 'spaw...now that you're officially older, you may cease pretending to be shocked at anything in the WTF sex thread. When you get 'really' old, like...ummm... me, you will barely remember what it was you were ever shocked about. ☺

Now, if Joe Offer is reading this thread, I think he owes YOU above all, one teeny little B-Day greeting....maybe of the sweet, gentle, friendly kick in the nuts sort that you so selflessly share with others at times.

Anyway...

**FELICITOUS NATAL GREETINGS**



...or something like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 12:36 PM

Yeah, Bill. I think the best argument in favor of reincarnation is that one gets a chance to find sex new, exciting, and mysterious all over again. I don't know about the rest of you, but I can hardly wait. ;-D

Spaw? Blow out the candles, fer Crissake and be done with it! Get outta here. You'd had yer fifteen minutes of fame for 2009. I don't want to hear any more of this crap until this time next year.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 01:26 PM

Here's a poem on your birthday, Spaw
This poem has lots of class
It does not say "Go fuck yourself!"
Or "Shove it up your ass!"
It doesn't call you "Shit for brains"
Or "Broke-dick mamalucca"
It just says "Happy birthday
To you, flatulent old fucker!"

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 03:10 PM

Two Birthdays !! How like the life of our Majesty the Queen.
ATB from Charlie

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 03:32 PM

You mean ITB?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: ranger1
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 06:13 PM

No, Spaw, I took one for the team this year with the hideous, singing, dancing (please, won't someone shoot it for me?) it'll-probably-burst-into-flames-at-any-moment novelty item. The true novelty to me is why anyone would have manufactured it in the first place, but here you are.

Spaw, you owe me big time...

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: ranger1
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 06:18 PM

Oh, and the link is to the super-deluxe version. I got the cheap ass one, it sings four songs, badly.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 06:22 PM

Happy Birthday to you
Your nose is so red
You're another year older
And soon you'll be dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 10:18 AM

I want to thank you all of you for these, uh.............hmmm......let's just call them birthday messages. And on not one but TWO threads!!! You make me feel, uh........yeah............once again words escape me............lessee here.........they make me feel....................hmm.......................well, I think somewhere between nauseous and loved but more like you might feel after a night of wild sex with an aardvark but somewhat less than after pulling a Carradine.......

Anyway............Many thanks. Karen made me a strawberry pie that was simply beyond belief.....totally from scratch with ground pecans in the crust. The filling was heavy cream whipped with cream cheese.....fantastic.

I recall that Bill D. quit counting years when he turned 60 and he seems to be doing well now at 70 so I think I'll take that as a good sign, do the same, and look forward to 70. Many thanks to one and all.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 10:42 AM

Buck the Karaoke Deer has been discontinued. This makes him rare and much more valuable.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Fortunato
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 11:02 AM

'spaw.

I see you've spent another year lazing about, accomplishing slightly less than Jack Shit, adding no value whatsoever, and apart from eating, farting and making human manure, you've nothing to show for it.

congrats,

chance

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Wesley S
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 01:43 PM

Didn't you have a birthday last year? Aren't you old enough yet?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: alanabit
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 01:47 PM

Yup. Hope it was a good one Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 01:49 PM

Holy SHIT!!!!!!!! Buck the Singing and Talking Deer is incredible! Omigod. I've got to have one. Omigod. Where can I get one?

This beats Billy Bigmouth Bass totally. Omigod.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 02:23 PM

"... pulling a Carradine..." Ahhhh, I thought he did that himself? Are you being sought for questioning? ... or... nevermind.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 04:24 PM

PM me your address Little Hawk. They are at every yard sale between South Portland and Canada.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 04:25 PM

Awright!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 05:34 PM

Make sure you get one that smells like the wife banished it to the garage for years and then said, "It has to go." More "authentic". You might have to pay extra, of course, but I am sure LH will be keen.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 05:48 PM

Did you all know that there will be a singing and sort-of dancing Spaw available by Christmas? This will be The Next Big Thing!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 05:51 PM

But, you gotta keep it outside, right? Lots of wind?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: ranger1
Date: 09 Jun 09 - 10:59 PM

LH, I have one that I would be more than happy to send you.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Fortunato
Date: 10 Jun 09 - 11:06 AM

Like the ever popular Tickle Me Elmo, we give you the Screw Me 'Spaw.

Wind it up and it belches, farts and lies down in a suggestive posture?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 09 - 12:55 PM

Does it still work, Ranger1? I don't want the deer without the music and the talking.

I plan to use it to torture my friends at song circle. ;-) We meet in a sort of craftshop building where the deer would look great mounted on the wall.

Please tell me it still works! If it does, I'll get in touch and send you my address.

****

Man, if ONLY it was this easy to arrange a date with Winona Ryder. Sheesh!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 09 - 01:02 PM

It is, but why would you want to mount her head on a wall?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 09 - 01:06 PM

Oh, for heaven's sake!..... (snort!)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jun 09 - 01:43 PM

It's not her head he wants to mount.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 09 - 01:52 PM

Yes, well... (cough)

I thought of that too, but I didn't say it.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 09 - 02:13 PM

I don't think LH wants to be a mountee.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jun 09 - 02:18 PM

Are you questioning?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: ranger1
Date: 10 Jun 09 - 03:19 PM

OK, the Buddy Buck works. It's not Buck the Karaoke Deer. It sings four truly hideous songs: Doo Wah Diddy, Born to Be Alive, Born to Be Wild and Home on the Range. It flaps its ears, its snout wiggles and its mouth moves (but whether the lip movements match the words, I really couldn't say), and I think its head moves back and forth. It really is hideous and scares the dog. Oh, hell, it scares me my SO as well. Little Hawk, you want it and its yours, I'll even pay the postage!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 09 - 05:30 PM

Wow.

Okay, I will PM you shortly about this. ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 07:30 PM

Hey, ya lazy bum--I am glad to see you are even HAVING a birthday. Never mind if it is happy or not. Just keep on counting, ya dumb jadrool!!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 07:49 PM

Well fuck me sideways with a wire brush. At yer age yer still able ta sit up an take nourishement ya broke dick malamucous?

I shall turkey and broccccili fart in yer honour. Hey, I paid $1.29 a pound for the turkey and the greens were cheap too. All I gotta do is add some cheddar and it'll be ripe for you. That's my rhyme and now I'll go and leave any more to Amaos the Calleefornian.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 08:00 PM

Well, gol danged... If I knew this was goin' on I'd a vacuum packed a couple surprises fir ya', Spawzer...

Oh well... Get the Reg Boyz to come by after stoppin' off at the beanery and you'll get my drift here...

Hope it's a good 'un... I know it sho nuff beats the ICU ward...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 08:01 PM

SIGH!
Happy Birthday, Pat.
Love,
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 08:35 PM

Happy Birthday, Peaches! SO glad you are here!!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: olddude
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 09:01 PM

Happy Birthday Bro
Love ya
Dan

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 09:15 PM

Another year gone by, eh? And I'm still lazier than you are. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Gurney
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 10:44 PM

Several happy returns, 'Spaw.


(Can't be too ambitious when you are older than dirt, I've found.)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Janie
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 11:23 PM

So very glad to be wishing you a happy birthday and a coming year with many joys.

You da best!

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 11:31 PM

Yes, happy birthday from me, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 03:37 AM

Well Spaw, you said you were looking forward to 70, I'm not.
Hell, I'm 68, and not looking forward to 69.

(never thought I'd say that)

Keep going, you'll catch me up one day, and in the meantime, I hope you had a great birthday.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Actual Birthday, Spaw!!!!!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 03:47 AM

happy birthday - keep celebrating!