A request from kat- new blog posting-April 2010

Subject: BS: A request from Kat - in the home stretch
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 04:52 PM

Some of you have known I've been a bit under the weather ever since contracting pneumonia last April. I thank you for your discretion. I had a delightful doctor's visit, today, with the woman doc who does OMT, osteo-manipulation-therapy and also some spiritual counseling/work...hands on kind of stuff. I was asking about coping with a lot of anxiety I've been having lately. (My mind has been latching onto every little thing, going off on tangents.)

There are many reasons for this not least of which is my Rog having to work every weekend and a lot of late nights this past month as they moved the television station where he is chief engineer. This coming weekend is the first he will have had off in over a month. THAT has completely messed up our home routines and I have felt very alone. As a consequence errands have piled up as has housework, etc. We do have clean clothes and food, at least.:-)

But, other factors have had their impact, too, losing our soul mate friend in April, Sandy and his grandson, and now Barry, as well as various Mudcatters being in hospital, two of whom I am very close to, and having some major complications with side effects of the pneumonia and the meds they prescribed for it.Also, feeling as if I had to gird up for a fight every time I went in to see my regular doc. (That will be changing, soon.) Plus, certain family members have been projecting their own major anxieties which I feel I have picked up on.

In talking with the doc this morning, it came to me I have not asked my Mudcat friends for help as I thought there was just too much for us all to already cope with and I didn't want to add to the burden. I now realise this was rather stupid, so here I am, hat in hand, so to speak, asking you, please, for some good energy, calm, peacefullness, etc. The docs say my lungs and heart are fine. It's that old bugaboo panic/anxiety that needs to be gone.

Another good thing we determined...I want to be playing my dulcimer to help folks heal, so I am going to try going to a Peace Garden at a local hospital and just sit and play...I find nursing homes and hospice too sad for me, right now, but the garden is nurturing and any one who wants may wander in for a listen, i.e. it feels *safe* for me, too. (I've been really anxious about germs, lately!*bg*)

I've got to take baby steps, but it feels good to do so and it feels VERY good to come to my friends. Thank you, very much,

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 04:58 PM

My darling, you have my love, positive thoughts, good vibes, healing energy, light and love and kitten cuddles to call on any time you want! I'm setting up the beams of energy to point westward from this moment on!

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 04:59 PM

As always, my love, good thoughts from Maine.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: ClaireBear
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:03 PM

Oh, poor kittykat!

Sending you psychic bundles of catnip and golden bowls of cream -- and of course a soft-cushioned, sunny window seat to lie on as you purr yourself back to the best of health.

(Oh, and strong, healing thoughts, white light, and all the conventional goodies as well. Want my church to pray for you, too?)

Cheers,
Claire

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:03 PM

{{{{{{Kat}}}}}}}

way didn't ya say something before?

Poor little petal. Sit ye down, lean back, relax, deep cleansing breaths, imagine autumn leaved wood, deep blue sky, clean air and the only sound a gurgling stream with mossy smooth stones, water so clear you can little fish in the still places.

hugs again just because

~t~

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:07 PM

Miss Kitty, you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Hammer away at that dulcimer and heal.
Much love,
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Hollowfox
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:09 PM

Kat m'darlin', remember that there are a whole bunch of us on the 'Cat who are well and sound. (And you've helped a bunch of us stay that way.) Loving juju and a $#@!-reduction candle for you, coming right up. And if you run across it, you might want to curl up and reread Blue Cat of Castle Town again. That helps me through the rough patches. Love, Mary

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: ranger1
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:20 PM

OK, sweetie. Lotsa love and white light coming your way. And a big cyberhug, too.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Tinker
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:22 PM

Ah Kat, Thank you for telling us and do remember the ehlp we wing your way doesn't come from us only through us --- there's plenty to share away.

Listening, loving, lightness,winging your way

tinker

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Neil D
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:29 PM

Sending back some of the positive energy and good thoughts that you sent to Neil and myself over the last year as we dealt with his cancer.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Amos
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:29 PM

IT helps sometimes to recall that copying the stresses emanated from others serves no good purpose, but merely invites multiplications of duress.


A

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: gnu
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:38 PM

T&Ps.... hang tough, darlin. Youse will be okay. The nerves thing can be the worst of it all and the hardest to overcome. Just try as best you can to be positive... that is all you can do, and know that it is.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:43 PM

Oh Kat thanks for saying all this .. I have been so sad about our losses here at mudcat and your reaction is such a correct and honest thing <><< this really has me crying and I dont do that . Old New England go in the closet type . BArry just took this over the edge for me ... I love hearing what everyone is saying to you who has been such a large centerpiece of mudcat . / Tons of love from your old friend in Connecticut . All is well and as it must be .. Warm warm Hugs . Guy

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Gurney
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 05:59 PM

Can't bring myself to do the feminine supportive thing, Kat, but a bit of typical blokely advice: If you play your box at a Maternity Hospital, you will be surrounded by ladies who are AWASH with positive feelings.   Chris.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Amergin
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 06:06 PM

Katdarlin...my extremely OLD friend....you only need to ask...be thinking about you.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Allan C.
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 06:11 PM

Kat, I'm sure that you are on the right track with your desire to share your music. What could be more therapeutic than that?

Best wishes!

Allan

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: MMario
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 06:33 PM

Not much I can add...Wrap yourself in your KatLaughin shawl and give yourself a good cyber hug from me...

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Peace
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 06:46 PM

Kat,

Go play for people. In the process of lightening their burdens you'll lighten your own.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 06:51 PM

Guy has a good point, kat. We are all grieving for Barry and worrying about Tom.
Let's focus light and love on your beautiful soul (I don't know what else to call it). Be strong and healthy and happy.
Much more love,
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Genie
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 07:03 PM

Kat, I think the Bear has a good idea:
"Sending you psychic bundles of catnip and golden bowls of cream -- and of course a soft-cushioned, sunny window seat to lie on as you purr yourself back to the best of health.

(Oh, and strong, healing thoughts, white light, and all the conventional goodies as well. Want my church to pray for you, too?)"

And Peace is right, too.

My kitty and I send you love and warmth and healing purrs. Please do let us know what else we can do.   

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Morticia
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 07:11 PM

You have been our central pillar of support for so long here, it is good for you to ask back,I think. Makes me feel the circle is more balanced and I, like so many others I am sure, am so glad of an opportunity to pay back just a little of what I owe.

All the spare everything I have, dear.

xxx

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Becca72
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 07:14 PM

Kat,
You were so very supportive during my family's horrible ordeal this past spring. The least I can do is return the favor! :-)

{{{{{Kat}}}}}

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: bfdk
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 07:16 PM

Good thoughts from Denmark, too.

Bente

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 07:35 PM

good wishes & lots of hugs from me, too

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Rowan
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 08:22 PM

And some more from the other New England.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 08:42 PM

Now look......Rog is about to see light at the end of the tunnel.....Tom's okay but has a long haul ahead......I've used up another life but I'm doing great again........The problem in making a lot of friends here is the potential for losing them and for me at least, the trade-off is pretty good. I miss them all but each enrichened my life.......and yours.

Now throw that dulcmer across your back, see if you can grab your ass with both hands, then take your fine self out there to the hospital and play for some folks........go on now......git with ya'.......

We'll all be here pulling for you.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: maeve
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 09:22 PM

The pictures, Spaw, the pictures...


What Spaw said, kat. Mostly. Except that part about grabbing.

Go with a light heart and a steady mind.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Azizi
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 10:01 PM

katlaughing, l wish you well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TA936_uwb0&feature=related
Desiderata

-Azizi

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: maire-aine
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 10:12 PM

Dear Kat,

First, here's a big non-contagious, un-contaminated ((((hug)))) for you. Thank you for sharing with us. We're here to help any way we can. The more we talk about what's bothering us, the more we can take control of it. We also find that others are going thru the same thing, and we don't need to go it alone.

Maryanne

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Louie Roy
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 10:20 PM

Kat you over the years you have helped and encouraged many of us when we were down and out.there isn't enough words in the dicionary to thank you for all the help you have given me.Here are a few phrases that I remind mtself of ever day and maybe you can use some of them. Worry looks around--Sorry looks back--Faith looks up---Life is short---When need be break the rules---Forgive quickly---Kiss slowly but with passion---Love truly---Never take someone for granted---Hold every person close to your heart---Because some day you might wake up and find you've lost a diamond in the rough. All your friend here in Mudcat are pulling for you and our love and our prayers are with you 24/7. LUVYA Louie

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Art Thieme
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 10:53 PM

Ah, Kat, even on the phone, directly linked this week past, I never picked up on the depth of your needs. (I can be dense often--and that's a certainty.)

You do know of the many problems Carol has had through all the years. She has to be the bravest person I know. Also, through the years, I've watched her struggle to calm herself, and then, go deep and do deep breath machinations with progressive muscle relaxation until, amazingly, in a few minutes, she is, hopefully, relaxed and a new person -- with real relative calm. ------- Do look for a CD to help you start with breathing exercises. It is real -- and it seems actually to help. And you can do them whenever you need to.

The scores of ECT treatments she has had have done wonders, we think, for the on-going drug-resistant depression -- but the anxiety is a tough old bird. Learn Leadbelly's good song---"Relax Your
Mind!" There was one clued-in dude who KNEW ABSOLUTELY that he, for his own good, had to be able to relax. After singing his way out of prison TWICE, I do suspect he decided to quit tempting fate!

Love to you and Rog,

Art

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 11:10 PM

My best thoughts for you, Kat. I've found music always helps.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Janie
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 11:40 PM

Ah, Sweetpea,

Breathe.

Be in the moment with awareness and without attachment or judgement.

And in that moment, sense all the light, love, mercy and good intentions winging your way from points known and unknown.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Janie
Date: 21 Oct 09 - 11:48 PM

Gee Garg. Obsession with Kat kicking in again? By now some one as bright as you ought to have the insight to know that is an indication you are decompensating. If you are off your meds, get back on them. If on them, get them adjusted.

You owe it to yourself.

(And if Garg's post gets deleted, please delete this one also.)

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 06:37 AM

Lots of good vibes coming to you from Suffolk, England, Kat.

Interestingly there was a piece in our local paper just yesterday about how one person dealt with anxiety and similar things. This particular writer had realised that they had responsibility for how they felt each day. OK, they may not have been able to do much about it at first, but over time they had developed a positive outlook which started with waking up and saying to themselves, "Oh goody, another day to enjoy!" rather than "Oh crikey, another long dreary day, how am I doing to get through this one as well."

Playing the dulcimer in the Peace Garden sounds ideal.

Best wishes,

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 07:50 AM

Kat, you know I wish you only the best.

And I believe that what is best for each of us does ultimately serve the highest good for all-- that there is no rational conflict between the greatest/highest good for one and the greatest/highest good for another. Interwoven, life is, and human beans in it.

And I bet you are thankfull that the anxiety is giving way not only to peace, but to confidence and strength.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 08:47 AM

I suppose I could spare a bit of that good ol' Idaho healing air. Breathe deep, deep...I've turned the valve full on.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 09:14 AM

Oh, sweet girl, Friend and Sister :

All love and blessings from Erica and Bryn.

We have rattled the cage of the Great Mother and the AllFather, for you.

So Mote it be.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: My guru always said
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 09:35 AM

Sending positive thoughts, love & hugs fromc across the pond!

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Deckman
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 09:54 AM

"Mina Raakastaan Sinua" to you, Kat ... Roope

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 11:58 AM

I can finally type through the tears. You are all such a wonderful, loving bunch of friends. I can feel your help and have done since last night...just couldn't post. I will answer each of you, later, but please know I am most thankfull and some better thanks to you all, even garg and his backhanded expression of concern. (Thanks, Janie for addressing him:-)

To give you an idea of where my head has been: when I read Spaw's comment about Rog seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, my immediate thought was "Where did I say my Rog was dying?!" THEN I reread it and went, "duh"..at work, at work...no relatives waiting in the Light, just a work job getting done! Phew!

Last night, my mind was on all of you instead of any doom and gloom. Thank yew! More personal responses later. For today, I have Morgan all day and he brought over his dulcimer, too. So, I am taking baby steps, each minute of the day. Thank goodness you are here, my friends.

I love you,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Severn
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 12:15 PM

Best thoughts coming from one who's never met you, but considers you one of his favorite Forum posters, possessing great wisdom and always dispensing vast amounts of friendship and support to those who have needed it, one of the most essestial people in an internet community full of such folk.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: LilyFestre
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 01:09 PM

Hey Kat,
   
      (((((((((((Lots of Love comin' atcha!!!))))))))))))))

I wish I could come sit in the peace garden and hear you play, it makes me smile just thinking about it!!!!

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: SharonA
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 01:24 PM

Kat: I don't want to come across as sounding mean or unsympathetic -- far from it -- but sometimes one has to just muster the determination to slog on through the sorts of issues you describe. Strangely enough, if one tries to act happy, it can be infectious, not only to others but to oneself as well.

Of course, effective medical care is essential, and it sounds like better times are on your horizon with regard to that. Establishing a regimen of stress-reducing activities (yoga, meditation, tai chi, or whatever you're into) and sticking to that regimen is enormously helpful too.

Don't forget to count your blessings! Among them: Rog has a job when so many have lost theirs; you made it through the pneumonia; you've got the basic housework covered; you've got friends to help with other house-ly duties and errands (don't be hesitant to ask 'em!); you still have the ability to make music! Of course you miss your loved ones who've passed on, but you'll continue to remember them fondly, and life is all about change and adaptation to change. Nobody said it would be easy, fair, etc.; just that it would be life.

I'm not convinced that hanging around the local hospital is a good idea for you if you're still dealing with the effects of pneumonia, especially with the H1N1 flu going around (not to mention the regular flu season starting up!). Hospitals are notorious for having surprisingly poor regimens for cleaning and disinfecting. Why hang out where all the illnesses are? There must be safer venues where you can find peace in performing -- your local library or community center, perhaps? A coffeehouse or bookstore?

Another idea is to find some volunteer work you could do without taxing yourself physically -- something that would take your mind off your situation and let you feel that you're making an immediate, positive impact to help others or to further a favorite cause. For instance, I'm the current President of a local folk song society and co-chair of a local songwriters' organization and so I have plenty of duties I'd be happy to delegate to some additional volunteers; maybe your local music organization has similar needs!

So there ya go -- my version of good energy. (My interpretation of "good thoughts" = hopefully-helpful suggestions!) Don't worry, be happy now! Oooooh, oo-oo-ooh oowah oooh de doo de doo de doo [the Bobby McFerrin tune]... :-)

Sharon Ayyyy

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Charley Noble
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 02:13 PM

Kat-

I do recall those days long past when I thought my circle of friends would orbit together forever. The loss of any one of them is stressful (as will be my loss to them (whenever!)). So I've learned to value every moment when they're there, and value the memories when they no longer walk this earth; my life would be so much less bright without those memories.

Here's a hug from me (((Kat)))!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 02:38 PM

((((((((((((((((((katbeinghugged))))))))))))))))))))

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Wesley S
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 02:49 PM

Kat - I've been so tied up with my own petty s**t that I havn't seen anything else. As you know I'll be on the road for the next couple of weeks moving but rest assured that you'll be in my thoughts often. Lots of hugs coming your way from wherever I am here in the South.

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: mouldy
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 03:24 PM

Now then (as they say in Yorkshire when they are going to tell you something they think you need to know)...

You have bottled all this up for far too long, and opening out to us
all can only do good. Over the time I have been on this forum I have seen you holding up and embracing innumerable people, myself included, despite your own problems, and it's our turn to repay the love and care you have shown to us.

Don't you ever let yourself get this low again, my girl! You know where we are!

Andrea xxxxx

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 04:29 PM

Oh Kat, I wish you had said something earlier, although I DO understand why you didn't.

I hope your music soothes and calms you and helps you heal.

Love and positive thoughts winging their way from Worksop.

Blessings
Rhiannon and Mick

Subject: RE: BS: A request from kat - in the home stretch
From: GUEST,Ebbie, at the library
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 05:21 PM

Kat, my heart melts for you. I see you immersed in music and love and laughter. Be well.

{{{{hug}}}}

Eb