BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venues

Subject: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Don Firth
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 04:40 PM

(Shh! I'm wearing Groucho glasses, my hat is pulled down low over my eyes, and the collar of my trench coat is turned up! Your not s'posed to know it's really me!)

Spittoons at folk venues would come in very handy in a number of situations that can come up. For example (speaking of things that can come up), if someone should happen to drink too much out of the mandatory pitchers and need to up-chuck, there should be a spittoon within—well—spitting distance. Even though sounds of retching from all over the room would quite probably distract from the singer (which, by the way, may not be a bad thing), it would save a lot of mopping up afterward.

One should have an ironclad contract with the proprietor of the venue in question that the spittoons would be supplied free of charge. We don't want exorbitant changes limiting the right of people to enjoy singing, listening to others sing, drinking until our eyeballs float, and barfing our guts up.

In addition, perhaps we should conduct pre-session workshops to teach people how to belch in a variety of rhythms.

All of this should, of course, be mandatory.

*#2 Pheasant*
(The proud bird with it's head up its tail.)

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Rasener
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 05:02 PM

No No No

The last time I went into a pub with a spittoon, I was dared to take a sip out of the spittoon. As I would get free beer all night and being a bit broke, I thought why not.
So I got the spittoon and tipped it up and into my mouth. When I had finished, the bloke said " I only mean't a sip" and I replied " I know, but it was all in one piece ".

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Smokey.
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 05:14 PM

I suspect the reintroduction of spitoons would ultimately increase the average number of banjo players and sundry percussionists.

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 06:03 PM

But if they had spittoons in music sessions, how would the banjo players know what to use when the bodhran players go to the bar?
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 07:18 PM

How do you tune them?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Don Firth
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 07:26 PM

How do you tune a spittoon?

By filling them to various levels, rather like tuning a table full of wine glasses or a glass harmonica

What you chose to fill them with is optional. . . .

*#2 Pheasant*
(The proud bird with it's head up its tail.)

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Melissa
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 07:26 PM

Spittoons..yes, great idea.

Think of the money saved on porta-pot rentals!

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 10 - 10:00 PM

Yup, and fer us tobakky chewers and seegar chompers they'd come in right handy. Probably better'n tryin' to spit through the hole in the geetar, 'specially when the guy's playin'. And they would help us trumpeters keep the stage from gittin' slick and maybe have somebody slip and fall down.

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Smokey.
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 12:10 AM

......so those big pitchers some people have at folk venues aren't for gobbing in?

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Don Firth
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 12:16 AM

Reminds me of that book by Charles Dickens.

Great Expectorations.

*#2 Pheasant*
(The proud bird with it's head up its tail.)

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk ven
From: Smokey.
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 12:23 AM

One feels duty-bound to mention Ian Phlegming.

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venues
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 12:42 AM

Well, without them it's all sort of ad hock, and a big one at that. If you don't supply spittoons us trumpeters will have to keep spreading sand on the stage and ruining the floor.

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venue
From: Smokey.
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 01:10 AM

Do what I do mate - just gob at the drummer. If there's no banjo player, of course.

Subject: RE: BS:Is spittin' imagery to be used in folk song
From: Severn
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 01:50 AM

What if you tend to get things backwards ans you end up using the waitress and tipping the spitoon.

Last time I went out to hear spit tunes, it was by some spittin' Polish outfit that had to take their instruments out of hock to make the gig.

Then came the shanty singers with all that heaving away and filling up the spiteen a lot faster. The more they'd heave, the more the staff would have to haul away. Charley, I suppose they have to be tuned, so that after every "phuttt" there is a proper "DING!"



As a kid, the first bit of opera I ever learned was:

Toreador-o don't spit on the floor.
Use the Cuspidor
That's what it's for

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venues
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 03:46 AM

aahhh... But a Cuspidor is not properly folk being too posh by nature of its name.

Must be a spittoons to be a traditionally folk venue.

What is a banjo? Inverted it is a long handled spittoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venues
From: Rasener
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 04:22 AM

Maybe they should put them around football piches for theplayers. They seem to gob for England.

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venues
From: Rasener
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 04:55 AM

Mind you, they wouldn't find a big enough one to put the gum from Alex ferguson's gob in.

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venues
From: GUEST,bankley
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 08:36 AM

Bobby Bare used to bring one on stage with him...

I have an old one that belonged to Grandpa... I use it sometimes, but it stays home.. although it'd be cool to bring to an awards show..

A Grammy trophy looks a bit like a spittoon bent sideways.. kinda like Dizzy Gillespie's horn..

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venue
From: Charley Noble
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 08:43 AM

I'll see you and raise you one!

It's all fur me gob,
Me slimy, gooey gob,
It's all fur me gob an' tobacca!
Our manners none shall impugn,
If we spew in a spittoon,
As across tap room table we do slobber!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venues
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 10:55 AM

Back in the old days a miner, who had struck it rich, was staying at the Brown Palace Hotel in Denver, or so the story goes. Sitting in the lobby, he would spit a string of tobacco juice on the floor. A porter, seeing this, brought a cuspidor only to have the miner continue to spit on the expensive carpet. The porter would move the utensil to another spot each time.

Finally, the miner said to the porter, "Look, sonny, you keep moving that there bowl around and I'm likely to spit in in one of the these times!"

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venue
From: Charley Noble
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 11:33 AM

Rapaire-

Amazing! I heard a similar story passed down from my mother's mother's family that used to reside in Virginia City, Nevada. They also struck it rich. They banked most of their money and went off to Europe for to celebrate. No doubt while they were there they spit or spat in many a spa, not to mention museums and cathedrals. But when they returned to Virginia City their bank had gone bust and it was back to work.

The moral of the story? Best to deposit your riches in a spittoon than a bank.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venues
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 01:36 PM

Didn't say it was new, Charley, although it actually happened to "Pinky" O'Reilly, my great-great-great uncle on my great-great Aunt Tilly's side of the family. What happened was that the porter was so offended by Pinky's remark that they shot it out in the street in front of the hotel, and since the porter was a guy named John W. Hardin (he was between jobs, so to speak), Great-great-great Uncle Pinky's hide was used as a sieve for several years thereafter.

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venues
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 02:05 PM

gee... *I* have a spitoon....should I make a practice of bring it to events? I do like to be traditional..



(why do I have one...and where did I get it? I have NO idea anymore.)

Subject: RE: BS: Should spittoons be required at folk venues
From: bubblyrat
Date: 16 Mar 10 - 02:38 PM

In the Royal Navy they were known as "Spitkids",were made of aluminium,and were polished up for Messdeck Rounds.Of course, nobody ever gobbed in them,well,not in the 1960s,anyway,but a friend & fellow folkie of mine ( a Scouse mandolin- player called Ned S------)was reduced in rank for coming back to his messdeck rat-arsed one night,and having a crap in one (for which they were not designed).History does not record how,or indeed with what,he wiped,if indeed he did,the offending sphincter.The Captain giveth,and The Captain taketh away.....