BS: Bad day on the job!

Subject: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: 3refs
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 08:55 AM

This is even funnier when you realize it's real!
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won !!!


Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.. I pulled the hose out from my back,
but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it….. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my pay, I love my job, I love my pay, I l ove my job , I love my pay.'

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?……………….

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 09:08 AM

Collected in 1998, but Snopes doesn't know if it's true or not.

I tend to wonder why the water-sucker thing doesn't have a filter on it and it doesn't seem likely a jellyfish would be better able to stick to hairy skin. Funny, but I still like the one about the commander of a ship telling the other commander to change course, not knowing he's land-based. Personally, I think the 'forward this' internet stuff should be considered a variety of modern folklore

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: 3refs
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 09:17 AM

Well, let's just contact 103.2FM in Ft Wayne.

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: 3refs
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 09:18 AM

There you go. It's BS. There is no such radio station!

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 09:36 AM

In any case, it certainly would have made for a bad day! I never had any sort of relationship with a jellyfish, but I did have a bee in my jeans once. While it didn't sting me, I'm sure I did an amazing version of 'there's a ****** BEE in my pants!!!' dance.

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 10:15 AM

I was paining the outside of the house one summer and had to come down the ladder when an itch down my back became intolerable. Getting to ground level I removed my shirt only to see a wasp fly out. Mrs G checked me over and I had a lovely row of about a dozen wasp stings up the middle of my back. Fortunately I don't have an allergy to them and with a bit of anti-histamine cream the bites soon went but I still use the same excuse to get professional painters in to this day:-)

DeG

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 10:32 AM

I fell into a red ant pile when I was about 3 or 4 years old...they stung and hurt me all over, esp. my bum before mom dunked me into a bath of coolish water. That Christmas I got two sets of underwear, both with red ant patterns and was teased for years about having ants in my pants!

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: gnu
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 11:28 AM

My aunt, about 70 years old, had a dress on when was picking blueberries at about 5 years old. She froze when the bees started to sting here and was in considerable discomfort. No undies.

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: GUEST,Ebbie, housesitting
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 01:16 PM

Whoa. I thought a dry suit is all one piece?

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: Gurney
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 04:07 PM

Jeri, I have heard that a jellyfish is more of a community than an animal, and if they are disintegrated and then left alone, they will re-form. Don't know if that is really true. If it is, a strainer wouldn't do much good, the stinging cells would still be active, although there is still the heating to consider. Would that neutralise it?
Popular Mechanics magazine sometimes does a job description of 'worst' jobs. I really wouldn't fancy the job of sewage diver!

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: Lox
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 04:16 PM

To my knowledge, "on the job" was a euphemism for something not altogether unpleasant.

So the idea of having a bad day on the job reads as an oxymoron of sorts ... unless one does it for a living ...

... I think I'll stop there ....

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: Manitas_at_home
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 12:58 PM

Limpit once ate a wasp thinking it was a hot dog... neither appreciated the experience but it kept her quiet for a while....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 01:04 PM

From: GUEST,Ebbie, housesitting: Whoa. I thought a dry suit is all one piece?

It is.

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: Charmion
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 01:15 PM

I smelled a rat right away with the original post: at the top, the diver wears a wet suit, but at the end he has a brass helmet. The brass helmet goes on the dry suit. A wet suit has a mask and a neoprene hood, or no hood at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 07:50 PM

My point, MT, is that the diver would not be able to insert the warm water hose down his backside while wearing a dry suit. And further, he would not be able to reach inside to scratch himself, not to mention that the jellyfish would not have access to his bum.

Subject: RE: BS: Bad day on the job!
From: ranger1
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 11:28 PM

Wouldn't the water have cooled off before it got to him if he were that far underwater?