Worst Movie ever

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Clontarf83
Date: 06 Mar 11 - 01:02 AM

Love Story---spawned hundreds of disease of the month movies, which quickly degenerated in to thousands of chick flick movies and tv shows

Easy Rider--in retrospect

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 06 Mar 11 - 12:01 AM

I recall a Czech [or maybe Hungarian] film of 1960s-1970s, (when E European films such as Jancso's The Round Up [aka The Lost Ones in US, IIRC] were mainly well worth seeing), about a young man wandering around a city with an old cavalry sabre, attacking a car wrapped in black polythene, then lying in the snow in front of a tram which just stopped in time & a girl came along and said "Get up, you'll catch cold" - The End.

Rave reviews and about the most stupid inconsequential bore I have ever sat thru.

Anyone recall title/director? Tried to google but couldn't locate.

~Michael~

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: J-boy
Date: 05 Mar 11 - 11:25 PM

Donkey balls. Yum. My local Libyan restaurant serves them with a lovely mint sauce.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 11 - 10:58 PM

I wasn't aware that anyone blew donkey balls. It sounds like a pretty disgusting practice to me, but in Hollywood...I guess anything is possible. ;-)

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: josepp
Date: 05 Mar 11 - 10:44 PM

Anything out of Hollywood blows donkey balls these days.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Joe_F
Date: 05 Mar 11 - 04:45 PM

I am not a movie person. However, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes had that reputation at one time.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: frogprince
Date: 05 Mar 11 - 02:07 PM

For some unfathonable reason, I remembered Dennis Hopper's "The Last Movie" a couple of days ago. As near as I can figure, Hopper and some cohorts, including Kris Kristofferson, spent some time in a primitive Latin American village, fried out of their minds, shooting endless takes of nothing in particular. Then Hopper, or someone, spliced it all together with no actual editing, and somehow it got shown in theaters. I probably shouldn't knock it, though, because Hopper said it was significant.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 11 - 12:26 PM

Yes, she loved My Dinner With Andre. Actually, I really liked that one too, but I just couldn't warm up to the Bergman films for some reason. You should ask her out to one of the recent Woody Allen movies if you get a chance, and really delve into those serious human issues.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Jan 11 - 12:19 PM

I remember that girl. I think I watched My Dinner with Andre with her. Ran into her about three months ago coming out of an art theater in Boulder where they were running a David Lynch festival. She was a site for soar eyes.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 11 - 12:08 PM

Take that back, you supercilious swine! I was in love with a Canadian girl in the 70s and she was mad about Ingmar Bergman films and had seen all of them. I was persuaded to view a couple of Bergman films in her company. I have to say I found them a bit tedious....but it was a worthwhile sacrifice. ;-)

Furthermore, we Canadians do not "site" things like film references. We "cite" them.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Jan 11 - 11:45 AM

Well, for Canadians it's a very thin line between hilarity and depression anyway. When asked about their favorite Ingmar Bergman movie, most Canadians sited the one where Groucho is a college Dean.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 11 - 11:32 AM

Trailer Park Boys has remained equally good on film as it was on TV. There is never any canned laughter on that show, thank God! Canadians don't need to be told when to laugh, eh?

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Allan Conn
Date: 19 Jan 11 - 09:09 AM

Although the MASH film would have come first with the TV series being adapted from that.

Subject: RE: Worst Movies ever
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 19 Jan 11 - 08:17 AM

Most attempts of transferring situation comedies to the big screen failed abysmally. From the early 70's onwards the UK film industry tried to put popular programmes like Till Death Us do Part / On the Buses / Bless this House / George and Mildred / Rising Damp etc. on film and it just didn't ever seem to work as a film. Obviously the canned laughter was missing and to add to confusion sometimes a particular character would be replaced by an alternative actor. The acting was either pretty basic or just plain bad.

MASH (USA) on the otherhand was great as a television comedy series and good on film.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 19 Jan 11 - 04:37 AM

I hated Todd Solondz's obnoxious and grossly overrated {Cannes Interntnl Critics' Prize!} 'Happiness'. Did anyone here rate it?

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 19 Jan 11 - 04:05 AM

The worst child's movie I've ever seen was 'Around the World with Dot' it's an Aussie film for children that mixed animation with 'live' animals in it but it was horrendous. I rented it out for my sons thinking that it would keep them quiet for an hour or so, so that we the parents could get an extra hours' lay in but within 10 minutes all I could hear downstairs was 'this is rubbish' I vowed to stick to the tried and trusted films like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang from then on.

As far as adult movies go a while back I watched a gruesome film I think it was called 'Society' not quite sure of the exact name of the film which contained a scene that showed a man being eaten by the party guests from inside out. It wasn't so much a bad film it was the squelchy sound effects that turned my stomach. Normally I've got quite a strong stomach but on that occasion I had to leave the room.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,TIA
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 08:26 PM

Worst movie ever is "Don's Party". Aussie flick (sorry!), circa 1980. I dare anyone to watch the whole thing.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: CET
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 07:49 PM

Well, I wouldn't swear an oath that this is the worst movie ever made, but dishonourable mention, at the very least, has to go to Knights of the Round Table with Robert Taylor as Lancelot. The fight scenes could have been staged by a bunch of Society of Creative Anachronism drop outs. The scene where Arthur confronts a bunch of nasty warlords, including the King of the Picts, at Stonehenge is just priceless.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 12:46 PM

And here I was thinking it was part of a divorce settlement or something... ;-)

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 08:50 AM

Well, I think that is absolutely charming. Enjoy, Patsy, even in the midst of your dread!

~Michael~

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 06:59 AM

I've always watched Harryhausen films with my boys and even now they are men we still watch them together comparing each film's quality from King Kong to Clash of the Titans even if it means sitting through yet another Sinbad again. It's just what we do.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 06:25 AM

"I dread it whenever it comes on."
===
Why? Who forces you to watch it? How?

~M~

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 18 Jan 11 - 04:58 AM

My vote goes to Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger despite it being Ray Harryhausen's dynamation, it just about saves the film. The acting from Patrick Wayne, Jane Seymour and the rest of the cast is so wooden including Patrick Troughton who I thought was quite ok in Jason and the Argonauts and many other things that I've seen him in. I am a fan of Harryhausen films normally apart from this one, I dread it whenever it comes on. I appreciate that the film was mostly about the effects rather than the cast's acting ability but it is pretty bad and can only assume that it was designed to keep children quiet for an hour on a wet Bank Holiday.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 01:35 PM

well... has anyone else here seen "Meet the Spartans"?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1073498/

and details http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meet_the_Spartans

Comcast offers a batch of free movies, and late the other night, I curiously opened it. I still have not decided whether it was horrendously bad...or good.... but it was beyond bizarre. One needs to know enough about both pop culture and history to fully...ummmm.. appreciate it, but if Mel Brooks made "Pink Flamingos" it might come close to the essence.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 11:58 AM

BrooklyJay, I have attempted to watch some of "The Beast of Yucca Flats" on Youtube. I think you're right, it may indeed be the worst movie of all time. The unexplained opening scene with the sultry brunette coming out of her shower wrapped in a towel and then getting mysteriously strangled seems to be a complete non-sequitor with the rest of the plot, if you can say the movie has a plot at all! ;-) What were they thinking? I guess they had that piece of film and thought, "This is SO great! We've got to put it in somewhere. I know! Let's put it right at the begining, and the viewers just won't be able to stop watching..."

Who was that gal anyway? She doesn't look like the typical starlet of the time.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 11:35 AM

The Conqueror was filmed in the down wind area of the US atomic testing program. The Conqueror proved pretty bad for John Wayne, Susan Hayward, Dick Powell, Pedro Armendez, all of whom died of cancer. The radiation from the site is suspected in those cancer cases.

A few others lived long lives afterward however. William Conrad and Lee Van Cleef, Agnes Moorehead for instance.


Don

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 11:20 AM

"Bodies, Rest and Motion"
"Night Train to Venice"
"When a Man Loves a Woman"
and the worst John Wayne movie has to be "The Conqueror"

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Diva
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 09:58 AM

Anything with Steven Segal in it!

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 09:18 AM

Just to clarify: I appreciate the links Little Hawk provided, but my ComputerSaurus is eleven years old, the OS is considered obsolete, the browsers cannot be upgraded, and it is impossible for me to watch movies over the Internet.

Other than all that, it runs perfectly well...

Jay
(Running on impulse power)

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Mr Red
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 09:13 AM

Best Film ever - Tim Burton's Corpse Bride.

Yea Yea lots of others but I was just making a point.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 17 Jan 11 - 09:04 AM

Little Hawk, I actually have a copy of From Hell It Came! It was great fun in a so-bad-it's-almost-good sorta way. Great fun! But the important thing I want to stress is that, IMHO, it was watchable. Maybe only once, but it was actually shot with professional actors, a professional crew, etc. It had the semblance and trappings of a real, live movie. The fact that it was a laughable piece of garbage was almost secondary - it was put together by professionals.

The Creeping Terror? I've heard of this one for years, though I've never seen it. Somewhere in The Archives, I have an old issue of Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine from the early 1960's where they do a feature story (complete with photos) on this upcoming "epic." As the legend goes, at some point the film's soundtrack was lost during post-production so the film is entirely narrated. The monster itself was made from pieces of a carpet - that's the story I heard. The photos I've seen look positively laughable. Curiously enough, I'd actually like to see the film one day (masochist that I am) if it ever falls out of the sky and drops into my lap, but I don't think I would ever actively seek it out. (Or if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't admit to it!)

But I will stay on my soapbox and solemnly swear (or affirm) that, IMO, The Beast of Yucca Flats is a thousand times worse than From Hell It Came. Besides, I just love the scowl on the Tabonga's "face"!

Some other "also rans" in the Crap Horror Film Dept.:

Bloodsucking Freaks: Nauseating, misogynistic garbage. The leading actor was murdered right around the time the film was released (or escaped). Coincidence? Or just an over-zealous critic?

Monstrosity (aka The Atomic Brain): Positively horrendous sci-fi concerning brain transplants. But any film with Marjorie Eaton can't be all bad - except this one is.

Monster From the Surf (aka The Beach Girls and the Monster): Jon Hall's swan song. Sad, really.

I'm sure I can (and probably will) recall others, but right now my brain is starting to seize up from CineCrap Overload.

All systems shutting down...

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 09:29 PM

BrooklynJay, I don't doubt that The Beast of Yucca Flats was abysmally bad....but...can it match these two?

The Creeping Terror

From Hell It Came

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 06:09 PM

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 05:26 PM

'Visitors 2' was excrutiating, especially as 'Visitors' was rather good and 'Just Visiting' was surprisingly enjoyable.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 03:24 PM

Yeah I don't get adoration of The Searchers and True Grit #1 as great American Cinema. The Searchers is way over long and with True Grit, just OK. There are better John Wayne Westerns. Say what you will about John Wayne and his politics but he is iconic as a western actor. Red River, Rio Bravo, and Stage Coach are far superior to The Searchers as are The Three Cavalry films.

I believe that I could turn off the sound and just look at the composition of any John Ford film. He composed static scenes as if they were paintings. Just look at How Green Was My Valley, especially the wedding scene. The closing scenes of The Searchers as well, which was a paean to a silent Harry Carey western.

I have stated before that I am easy to accept film quality as less than stellar for purposes of entertainment. But I'd like to have the time back I spent on "Tess" and at least three attempts to watch "Gone With The Wind".

Don

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 03:20 PM

Yes, Taconius ~~ but the FIRST of them...

~M~

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Taconicus
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 03:16 PM

Just one of a long list of well-crafted one-sided, emotionalistic, manipulative propaganda films, including Triumph of the Will and many recent ones, including (one of many examples) The Yes Men Fix the World.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 03:11 PM

Odd that nobody has mentioned that great classic, D W Griffith's Birth Of A Nation. Oh, yes, I know; the seminal movie, first example of modern cinema from which all others flow. A great pioneering work.

Have you seen it? In case you didn't know, it is all about how the KKK saved the South when the blacks were getting uppity after the Civil War ruined their owners and brought them freedom which they weren't fit for...

The film, its place in cinema history, & the controversy involving it, are well summarised in an excellent Wikipedia entry.

~Michael~

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 02:55 PM

The Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes was a major disappointment. Worst film ever? I don't know if I'd go that far; in one of my other "lives" I've been a Sherlockian (or Holmesian) for 25 years and you wouldn't believe the absolute drek that's been put out there...

But my candidate for worst film of all time? Simple. A truly abominable film that nobody has yet mentioned:

The Beast of Yucca Flats.

Believe me, no other film comes close. This one almost cost me my marriage. I had heard about it for years, and how awful it was, so I thought I'd catch up with it years ago when the opportunity presented itself. Unwatchable garbage! The film was made around 1961 and "starred" Tor Johnson(!). It also proved to be his swan song in cinema. What can you say about a film that destroyed the "career" of Tor Johnson??? It ran a few minutes less than one hour but seemed like it went on forever. Abysmally bad would be an understatement. I forced myself to watch the whole thing just so I could say I lived through it and would never, ever sit through it again, even if they ripped out my fingernails. My wife gave up after around forty minutes. She got up from the sofa, shaking her head, saying, "I can't take any more of this!" The "director" was a man named Coleman Francis. Remember that name. Avoid it like the plague.

You have been warned.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Doc John
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 02:34 PM

Yes, Tim Burton's Alice is the usual brash loud mixture of the two Alice books. They're always the same - a superb cast and a dreadful film. Has anyone ever made a good Alice film, I wonder?
It's probably near impossible to name the worst movie ever made as some black and white, badly acted, badly directed, badly written, long forgotten B movie would probably claim this title.
There's a film I read about recently which is so bad it's aquired cult status but, damn it, can't recall its title.
The most overrateed films are easier: The Muppets' Christmas Carol, The Searchers and Death in Venice.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: CheshireCat
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 10:11 AM

Over the years I've seen Sherlock Holmes portrayed by many fine and not so fine actors, using brilliant and not so brilliant scripts. I've seen him set in 1930s New York (by which time, as we all know, he was keeping bees on the Sussex Downs) and read stories where he was an alien, a robot, Moriarty with a delusional split personality, and enjoyed most of them. But the time I'd really like back is the time I spent watching Robert Downey Jr.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 08:56 PM

Say, I just watched Sylvester Stallone's 1986 movie "Cobra" for the first time. It is awe inspiringly dumb...and gloriously right wing (complete with bleeding heart liberal cop bosses, newsmen, and judges who are soft on criminals and get in the way of justice being done. Stallone punches the main one in the gut at the end of the movie)...but it's a fun way of getting in some totally mindless entertainment for an hour and a bit and Stallone was lookin' sharp in '86, man! The body count is pretty astounding in this one. The death-dealing is spectacular. The bad guys are soooo bad that it's just, well, beyond describing. Chongo would LOVE it! I have to tell him about this movie, in case he hasn't seen it yet.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 08:20 PM

Most people also fail to appreciate the part chimps played in achieving Allied victory. That will change after Chongo gets elected.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 08:09 PM

Well, then, I stand corrected and hoorah for us Yanks! Thanks, Don.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 04:00 PM

Mthe GM

"Merrill's Marauders or Unit Galahad, officially named the 5307th Composite Unit (provisional), was a United States long range penetration special operations unit in the South-East Asian Theater of World War II which fought in the Burma Campaign. The unit became famous for its deep-penetration missions behind Japanese lines, often engaging Japanese forces superior in number."

It has been my understanding for years that Objective Burma was a film about a force based upon Merrill's Marauders. This quote is from Wikipedia and the description I read there with location maps clearly shows Merrill's men as a force in Burma.

History is too often bent to create heroes where none existed but credit where credit is due. American forces fought in Burma, American pilots fighting for Great Britain took part in The Great Escape, and American sailors captured an enigma machine. They didn't win the war by themselves as some folks would have us all think but they did do some stuff right, now and then.

D

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 03:08 PM

"U-boat and gets the Enigma Code Machine? Brazen Americanization of a British event."

There were several Enigma machines captured by the allies in WWII. The first by the British and subsequent code boxes were captured by others. Including one aboard U-505 an intact German U-boat captured afloat by a group of Americans. At the end of the movie there is a epilogue which documents the captures of the devices and who made them and in which order they were made.

Watching the movie for what it was, two hours of action and entertainment, I was entertained.

Don

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 12:35 PM

Well, MtheGM, I don't think historical or factual accuracy has ever been a prerequisite for a good movie. How about the recent movie with Matthew McConaughy where an American ship captures a Nazi U-boat and gets the Enigma Code Machine? Brazen Americanization of a British event.
I want to see The Last Airbender because it has already attained classic Awful Movie status, while still in first release. What happened to M Night Shyamalan??

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 10:58 AM

Anything with Sylvester Stallone in.

And for butchering decent originals, The Lady Vanishes (1979), The Italian Job (2003) and Village of The Damned (1995)

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: goatfell
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 10:17 AM

any film with Jim Carrey in it

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 10:13 AM

"Objective, Burma! is an Oscar-nominated 1945 war film which depicts American paratroopers fighting extensively in the Burma Campaign during the Second World War. The picture, made by Warner Brothers, was directed by Raoul Walsh and starred Errol Flynn." ~ Wikipedia
===
Churchill objected so strongly to this film, which didn't even mention British involvement though the Burma campaign was in fact an entirely British & Commonwealth operation, with no, or in any event most minimal, US participation, that it was withdrawn from exhibition. I recall a critic at the time saying that it was, in itself, quite a good piece of action cinema, but going on to speculate as to what the American public might have thought of a British film purporting to show David Niven at the head of the 51st Highland Division capturing the Philippines.

~Michael~