BS: You are getting old when:

Subject: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 02:52 PM

You order a three minute egg and they ask you to pay in advance.
When you buy cereal for the fiber instead of the toy.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 02:56 PM

...the hardest part of any day is getting your socks on [which is why I wear sandals as long as possible thru the year ~~ see my Beard'n'Sandals thread!].

~Michael~

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Fortunato
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:01 PM

You bend over to tie your shows, and you wonder what else you can do while you're down their. George Burns

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:03 PM

... you accept it.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:06 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Alan Day
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:09 PM

When you take the Satnav on a walk with you to find the way home.

When you start telling people your age

When you are grateful for someone offering you their seat

Al

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:16 PM

Told this one before, a week after i turned 40, I went into the grocery store. The young girl cashing me out said as I started to walk away. "Wait I forgot to give you your senior citizen discount" .. Now another man may have been angry .. me I just smiled and say "Why yes you did" and took the 10%

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:16 PM

... you buy another VCR because you wanna tape more TV shows after 9PM.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:22 PM

When someone mentions Lady Ga Ga and you think they are saying your grandson needs changed

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:37 PM

...you can't take "yes" for an answer.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: fat B****rd
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:46 PM

Hey Gnu........when you think your VCR is cutting edge technology !

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 03:52 PM

...when the technology you grew up with ...and depended on... is now considered genuine antiques...

Dial phones... radios with tubes...

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 04:35 PM

When you advertise on ebay that you are selling an old antique and people think they are bidding on you

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 04:44 PM

fB... when you don't wanna mess with new technology so you keep using VHS on accounta you got a whack of them a they record 8 hours each.

Please advise what I should "step up" to that would equal. Seriously, I am getting to the age where I can't be arsed to try to figure this shit out. And, I was always old enough to distrust the pup at the Future Shit store to be honest when I know the little prick is on commission and will lie to me before he has his first coffee in the morning... and all day for that matter.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 04:47 PM

.... when you can remember what a slide rule was/is (sometimes called a Slipstick). What is worse, is they I could get advanced results out of that quicker than most people these days can turn a computer on. We used to have competitions to see who was the quickest slipsticker). I was pretty quick, but there were a couple of colleagues who were just amazing.

I have to admit to being pretty good with this in my day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curta_calculator

I was pretty good with one of these
http://www.vintagecalculators.com/html/muldivo_mentor.html

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 05:00 PM

I still use my slide rule when I am doing initial engineering computaions because it's faster than a calculator or the puter for simple aritmetic and math. Unless I am using engineering software... then, I just check the results against my "feel" for what should be. I am sure, if I was in an engineering office, young engineers would look strangely at me.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Leadfingers
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 05:03 PM

The barber takes a little less time each week

The kids dont uinderstand a word you speak

You go into the disco and they offer you a seat !

Fred Wedlock !"Oldest Swinger in Town"

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 05:10 PM

A slide rule also makes a great weapon, the nun use to wack us with one when we were talking in class ... dang thing hurt

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: The Sandman
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 05:14 PM

you cant remember what you were going to post on this thread

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 05:27 PM

For me I remember what I am going to post but post it on the wrong thread

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 05:59 PM

Whack you with a slide ruler, Dan? I WISH! They used to whack us with a pointer. That sucker was far worse than any type of ruler.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: bobad
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:02 PM

You gotta change your underwear after farting.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:16 PM

LOL ... that was great .... LOL

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:16 PM

LOL bobad

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:18 PM

You're getting old when the only time you think of doing it twice is just before you do it once. You're getting real old when you start to worry about getting through the first time. You're really over the hill when you can't remember what "it" is or why it was important.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:19 PM

When ya start referring to 50 year old's as "Young fella"

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:21 PM

When you buy flowers for your wife and she refers to you as "old softie" and means it literally

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:23 PM

Your barber charges you a finder fee when he cuts your hair.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Joe_F
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:23 PM

You catch yourself thinking of graduate students as "kids".

Before you do anything, you have to do something else, usually piss.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Don Firth
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:36 PM

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? (Could make a difference).

Or

You might suspect that you're getting on a bit when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night. . . .

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: paula t
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:50 PM

When you don't really care how old you are!

When you realise the new teacher at school wasn't even born when you started teaching.

When your daughter tells you about her night out, and you don't recognise anything she drank!

When all the shops are selling styles you wore in your twenties - and you've just cleared out your wardrobe and recycled them all.

When the rockstars you loved are now featured on a "Vintage" TV channel!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 06:59 PM

When the rockstars your kids loved are now featured on a "Vintage" TV channel!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 15 Nov 10 - 07:29 PM

When I was young I thought about sex all the time. Now that I'm older, the only time I think about sex is when I'm awake.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 12:27 AM

...the flat roads you used to walk along so easily have suddenly turned into steep hills ~~ steeper every day, moreover: some demon with a crowbar comes out every night & prises the summit even higher & more oblique.

~Michael~

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 02:25 AM

Alan Day said >>>>>>>When you take the Satnav on a walk with you to find the way home.<<<<<<< I say... when you are lost and you forget what that thing you're carrying is for.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: alanabit
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 02:35 AM

You can remember when the Beatles were the future of pop music.

Folks are jealous of that hot sixteen year old chick on your arm - and she is your daughter.

You do some exercise and your joints hurt worse than your muscles.

Your favourite pop stars all have grandchildren.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 02:36 AM

When the whole of the bus queue lets you get on first when you are at the back.

When it is time to leave the family disco by 9.00 pm.

When your favourite pastime becomes making jam.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 04:11 AM

...when everywhere is further away than it used to be.

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave Sutherland
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:17 AM

When two young chaps in front of you at the bar on a Saturday lunchtime are lamenting the fact that they were too young to have seen the Nottingham Forest team as managed by Brian Clough and Peter Taylor and you can remember watching Clough and Taylor as players!! (true story)

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Steve Hunt
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:20 AM

... when you put your car keys in the fridge, then go out to your car, holding a pint of milk.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:26 AM

When you remember the fields and woods you played in (safely) as a child with your gang of mates on those long hot summers, which has now become a thriving Business Park and Mall.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Amergin
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:30 AM

When you spend two hours tearing the house apart for something you misplaced (usually keys) and you realise you've had them in your hand the whole time....

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:33 AM

{Following Patsy's last post} ~ ...when you remember an aunt telling you that she remembers when the Golders Green crossroads were open country. {True.}

~Michael~

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:46 AM

... you realise that President J F Kennedy was assasinated 47 years ago on November 22nd and you still vividly remember exactly where you were and what you were doing on that day.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:58 AM

Dave Sutherland... you should be shot... fancy reminding me of that!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 06:01 AM

Folks are jealous of that hot sixteen year old chick on your arm - and she is your granddaughter.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 06:53 AM

>When you spend two hours tearing the house apart for something you misplaced (usually keys) and you realise you've had them in your hand the whole time.... <

I have actually done this only realising after I had shut the front door behind me, only with me someone was on his way to sort it out. After realising my error and knowing there was no time to let the person know I popped the keys through the letterbox to pretend the keys had slipped out of my hand on the way out. Quite quick thinking for an old un?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,c.g.
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 06:57 AM

You realise that whatever it is you used to do/have never had the chance to do is never going to happen again/happen and you don't care.

Quite useful really

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:13 AM

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
When your back goes out more often than you do.
The best part of your day is gone when the alarm goes off.
When you sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:16 AM

Brian Clough & Peter Taylor, Dave? I bet you never saw Ted Drake & Cliff Bastin play!

♫x❤Michael❤x♫

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: bubblyrat
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:20 AM

When,at last,you gasp "I'm cumming " and you realise that she's died.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:30 AM

When you open this thread twice, forgetting that you've already looked at it!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 08:56 AM

Garry and I were doing some city fishin at the pier during the salmon run. Sometimes we go down there when we don't have a lot of time. It is easier than staying home with our wives looking for imaginary dust bunnies living under the couch or something like that. Well next to us was an old couple. The lady was old ... I mean waiting for the boys to come back from France old. Cute couple. She had tossed her line out in the middle of the channel with a big bobber on it bait fishing.   

A bit later I see my buddie Jim crusin by in his 52 ft crew boat. A minute later the ladies line starts screaming (she had hooked the boat) She grabs her pole and the line is screaming off her reel. She starts playing it and playing it and playing it... next .. bam .. the line breaks off.

She turns to us and says ... that was some big fish ... he had to be huge!   Garry without missing a beat says that fish was exactly 52ft long!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: mandotim
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 12:45 PM

As a musician, you know you're getting older when you'd rather have more roadies than more groupies...

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 12:51 PM

...when no one cares a whit that you are on performance enhancing drugs.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: mandotim
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 01:28 PM

..or that the performance enhancing drugs include viagra for the lead singer!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 01:30 PM

When Ya take viagra at night so ya don't roll off the bed

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: mandotim
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 01:43 PM

You know you are of a certain generation when someone says 'Complete the phrase 'Marks and...' and you answer 'Engels'.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 01:49 PM

>>>>>>>>>>..when no one cares a whit that you are on performance enhancing drugs.<<<<<

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 05:43 PM

When you know you've heard all these jokes about getting old before, but it doesn't matter because they're truer now than the first time you heard them.

See BS: You Know You're Getting Old When.... from January, 2005.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 06:03 PM

You know you are getting old when two distinct things happen to you:-
1) You start to forget things.....
2).......ermmmmmm...........well............................b****r

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:32 PM

>
> A row of bottles on my shelf
> Caused me to analyze myself.
> One yellow pill I have to pop
> Goes to my heart so it won't stop.
> A little white one that I take
> Goes to my hands so they won't shake.
> The blue ones that I use a lot
> Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.
> The purple pill goes to my brain
> And tells me that I have no pain.
> The capsules tell me not to wheeze
> Or cough or choke or even sneeze..
> The red ones, smallest of them all
> Go to my blood so I won't fall.
> The orange ones, very big and bright
> Prevent my leg cramps in the night.
> Such an array of brilliant pills
> Helping to cure all kinds of ills.
> But what I'd really like to know............
> Is what tells each one where to go!

>:D< Aspire to inspire before you expire!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:39 PM

MY GET UP AND GO

How that I know that my youth's all spent's
'Cos my get up and go's done got up and went;
In spite of it all I'm able to grin
When I think of where my get up and go has bin.
Old age is golden, so I've heard said:
Sometimes I wonder when I get into bed:
My ears in the bed and my teeth in the cup,
My eyes on the table till I wake up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,
Is there anything else that's to be laid on the shelf?
I'm happy to see as I close the door
That my friends are the same, perhaps even more.
When I was young I could slip out of bed,
Kick my heels right over my head;
Then I got older like most of us do
But I could still double-shuffle the whole night through.

Now I'm old and I'm all out o' whack,
Walk to the corner and I puff my way back.
The reason I know that my youth's all spent's
'Cos my get up and go's done got up and went.
I really don't mind when I think with a grin
Of all the places that my get up and go has bin.
Since I retired from life's competition,
Busied myself with complete repetition;
Get up in the mornin' an' dust off my wits,
I pick up the paper and I read the obits;
My name's a-missin' but I know I ain't dead,
I just eat a good breakfast an' I go back to bed.

Off a single that my German pen-pal owned way back in the 1960s.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: bobad
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:42 PM

You look forward to someone groping your junk?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:50 PM

You step out of the shower and you are glad the mirrors are steamed up.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:52 PM

You step out of the shower and you worry that the mirrors are steamed up in case anything got washed away.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 07:54 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Ed T
Date: 16 Nov 10 - 08:47 PM

You know you are getting old when, you start a thread titled "you are getting old when", or post to one.:)

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 01:05 AM

When you spend more money on missed appointment charges than on the appointments you make.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 01:53 AM

You are getting old when.....la de la deda deda... urumph de dum de dum de dee

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 05:41 AM

When you stop to look at the landscape and trees and things you would have considered so uncool in your youth.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 05:49 AM

No, I wouldn't, Patsy ~~ my mother was a lover of landscape & brought us up to it; & it was a passion shared by my first wife also. But I take your general point nevertheless.

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,PeterC
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 07:24 AM

For me it was the local paper publishing photos of a vintage bus rally and thinking "I travelled to school on one of those".

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: bobad
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 07:42 AM

The era in which you came of age is now being studied as an historical artifact (a friend's daughter is doing her phd thesis on the 60's)

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: C-flat
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 07:54 AM

When the first question you ask when being offered a gig is "Are there any stairs?"

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 07:57 AM

When you find your vaccuum cleaner displayed in the Science museum!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 08:11 AM

PeterC, you had a bus?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MikeL2
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 08:59 AM

hi

When travel insurance costs you more than the holiday you are buying....

When your grandson has to come and fit a washer on to the tap ( faucet)....happens to me !!!

When you get a fee TV Licence....

When you can't park a Yaris in a spot you used to get a van in...

Cheers

MikeL2

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 09:39 AM

When you realise that you know most of the lyrics of songs from before the second World War and quite a few from the first!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,PeterC
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 09:54 AM

PeterC, you had a bus?
They used to run after 5pm in those days too.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 11:47 AM

We had to use "Shank's Mare"

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 12:15 PM

... you can remeber you mom using one of these http://www.gtj.org.uk/en/small/item/GTJ31072/

And one of these http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/vintage-acme-mangle-wringer-/250722640903 You certainly didn't want to get your digits going through that :-)

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 12:17 PM

We were posher Kendall, we used "Shank's Pony"

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 01:30 PM

When you mention Kent State and your co-workers look at you blankly.


When being carded results in a happy dance.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 06:15 PM

.... when you can remember what a slide rule was/is ...

When I was a kid I read an article about the local airplane company that had built one with an 18 ft long scale, and had actually pulled it out of mothballs for some sort of special project.

I thought it sounded pretty neat, once I figured out how they worked, so I decided to get myself one of them thar sticks.

They were so hard to find in my town then that I made my own - and used it for 4 or 5 years before I got to the "big city" and could buy a "real one." (They were mandatory for the Chemistry finals.)

About 15 years later the other airplane factory where I was working needed to modify the "weight and balance computer" for one of their airplanes, and the standard model was ... ... ... a "slide rule" with specialized scales on it.

It took about three months to find a manufacturer that would admit that they still had the machinery to make one. The half-dozen that we bought cost around $6,000 each; and when they got them done we had to sign a waiver promising that we would NEVER ORDER ANOTHER ONE before they agreed to ship them to us.

John

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 06:34 PM

...when you realize that wisdom does come with age, but that few of the youth are willing to listen.

Happens regularly now... ☺

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 06:47 PM

...when, as JUST happened to me, you read a post of yours from months...or years... earlier, like it a lot, but have no memory of making it.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 07:42 PM

The Floor is Too Far Down !

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 08:19 PM

Bill D... "when you realize that wisdom does come with age"

That's it then. The ultimate answer. The moment that you realize you can't get any smarter and it's all downhill because you "should have known better" but you didn't listen to your elders and your youngers are paying you little heed such as you did for your elders.

This should be enshrined as the Bill D Principle.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 04:00 AM

Arthur, my grandmother had a mangle wringer which she used right into the 70s. So I can say I remember using it for dolls clothes and small items like cotton hankies etc. It was good because it pressed out some of the creases. Why ever did they do away with those?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Alan Day
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 04:08 AM

When you get annoyed, like the guy did yesterday in the Supermarket, when he found that the plastic baskets had got mixed up with the wire ones and he had to sort them all out.
That's bloody old
Al

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 04:03 AM

>When you get annoyed, like the guy did yesterday in the Supermarket, when he found that the plastic baskets had got mixed up with the wire ones and he had to sort them all out.
That's bloody old
Al <

With women they call that PMT!!!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Charmion
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 02:23 PM

I'll see your slide rule and raise you a comptometer. Remember those?

I could go on and on.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MikeL2
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 03:28 PM

hi charmion

A comptometer eh ??

Yea I remember them well....my first wife was a comptometer operator who calculated the firm's wages !!

How about Hollerith ??? I remember that too......sheeeeeeeee I am am really old !!!

Used to use Hollerith punchings as confetti - the corners could get pretty shart in some tender places...lol

Regards

MikeL2

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: olddude
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 03:55 PM

I will raise you a 401 accounting machine ... my first programming assignment

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Charmion
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 04:58 PM

A 35-mm camera with no onboard electronics! There you were, with your little light meter, madly calculating F-stops and shutter speeds while the action passed you by ...

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:03 PM

Has anyone noticed that the older you get

the weirder your friends are?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:21 PM

"...raise you a comptometer."

45 years ago, I worked at a business school that still taught comptometer.....and keypunch... and a big calculator machine that did accounting and printed data-- all mechanically with hundreds of moving parts. I actually had to learn some basics of some of them.... arrrgghhh!

It isn't necessary -yet- to be 'old' to remember when a large grocery store (like I worked at for years) was NOISY as all the mechanical cash registers were running. But it was amazing to watch the repairman disassemble one of those things!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Ed T
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:33 PM

You are getting old when, you talk about your medical conditions to total strangers.

You are not getting old when, you die.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Ed T
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:34 PM

You are not getting older when, you die.

100

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: kendall
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:42 PM

Can I get into this game? I have a 78 rpm record of Vernon Dalhart singing After The Ball.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 05:56 PM

When you fall when climbing out of your tree house... poor Joan!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Charmion
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 01:06 PM

Any young sprout can have a 78-rpm record,Kendall; it takes an oldster to (a) have a gramophone (especially a wind-up one) to play it on; (b) know how to start up the gramophone and set the needle without scratching the record; and (c) know how to sharpen the needle (after 25 plays) because God knows you can't replace the one you have!

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 01:13 PM

you skip the automotive and tool section of the weekly Canadian Tire flyer and don't skip the vitamin and health care section of the Shoppers Drug Mart weekly flyer.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 05:56 AM

You know how to use a mangle and wish you had one now. You realise that eating at home is better value for money and eating out can be such a rip off.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 06:05 AM

Hi Kendall.

Did you buy it new?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 06:10 AM

You skip the Forthcoming Marriages and Births on the paper's Personal page, and only scan thru the Deaths to see if there is anyone you know...

Who was it now who said "I start each day these days reading the Deaths column in bed, and if I'm not there then I get up"?

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 06:20 AM

MY GET UP AND GO

How that I know that my youth's all spent's
'Cos my get up and go's done got up and went;
In spite of it all I'm able to grin
When I think of where my get up and go has bin.
Old age is golden, so I've heard said:
Sometimes I wonder when I get into bed:
My ears in the bed and my teeth in the cup,
My eyes on the table till I wake up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,
Is there anything else that's to be laid on the shelf?
I'm happy to see as I close the door
That my friends are the same, perhaps even more.
When I was young I could slip out of bed,
Kick my heels right over my head;
Then I got older like most of us do
But I could still double-shuffle the whole night through.

Now I'm old and I'm all out o' whack,
Walk to the corner and I puff my way back.
The reason I know that my youth's all spent's
'Cos my get up and go's done got up and went.
I really don't mind when I think with a grin
Of all the places that my get up and go has bin.
Since I retired from life's competition,
Busied myself with complete repetition;
Get up in the mornin' an' dust off my wits,
I pick up the paper and I read the obits;
My name's a-missin' but I know I ain't dead,
I just eat a good breakfast an' I go back to bed.

If this has been posted before, my apologies. Must be getting old.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:47 AM

Secretly checking the prices on cosmetic surgery after years of thinking of it as vanity (and actually visiting the premises) but still not quite convinced.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: EBarnacle
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 09:21 AM

When you whack your knee and it does not hurt any more than it already did. [Happened to me this morning.]

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Charmion
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 09:43 AM

You seriously consider getting rubber-soled house slippers 'cause you're afraid of slipping on the stairs.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 10:28 AM

When the priority is for Ibobrufen gels rather face creams.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Greg F.
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 04:16 PM

'You are old, Father William', the young man said,
   'And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head --
   Do you think, at your age, it is right?'

'In my youth', Father William replied to his son,
   'I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
   Why, I do it again and again.'

'You are old', said the youth, 'as I mentioned before,
   And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door --
   Pray, what is the reason of that?'

'In my youth', said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
   'I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment - one shilling the box -
   Allow me to sell you a couple?'

'You are old', said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
   For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak -
   Pray, how did you manage to do it?'

'In my youth', said his father, 'I took to the law,
   And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
   Has lasted the rest of my life.'

'You are old', said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose
   That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose -
   What made you so awfully clever?'

'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
   Said his father, 'don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
   Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs!'


                        --- Lewis Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 04:39 PM

when you are making soup and can't find the GD f***ing spoon that was right there on the GD saucer just one f**ing minute ago! It was the only spoon that was... oh... you gotta get another spoon to get the spoon you were using out of the pot that you were making soup in.

Totally ficticious, of course. I just made that up.

Scuse me... I gotta check on the soup. If I can find the GD ladle.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 04:50 PM

Maybe when you wish you were young but wonder how you might have played the cards dealt differently with your older head. Can only speculate on that one...

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Beer
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:05 PM

This happened to me last weekend. I'm in the back yard with my grandson and I'm pointing way, way up saying, "I planted those oaks, spruce, cedar and pine.
Ad.

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: gnu
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:12 PM

I hope you explained... wait... how old is the lad, Beer?

Subject: RE: BS: You are getting old when:
From: Beer
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:53 PM

Lol Gnu. Hahahaha!!
He will be 12 on Sunday.
ad.