BS: Rodent Alert

Subject: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,John from Kemsing
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 09:17 AM

One could not make this up!
A most recent news headline on my screen appeared as follows:-
"Another rat seen on the steps of No 10"
Say no more!!

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 10:09 AM

I like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: Greg F.
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 10:31 AM

Wait- Did it have an appointment, or was it a resident?

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 10:51 AM

No rat has ever dared violate the steps of Rutledge Hall. I am saddened to think how low # 10 Downing has fallen in these troubled times.

*PR

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 12:33 PM

Was it going in or coming out?

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: David C. Carter
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 01:26 PM

It went back to pick up the cheese it found on its way to leaving the sinking ship.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 01:36 PM

It makes you wonder what people must think of us as a country. You can't imagine Obama giving one of his briefings with rats running up and down.

I suppose next week Cameron and clegg will be jumping round with fleas. Its a bloody disgrace.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Howard the Turtle
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 01:36 PM

You are so full of it Ms P. Rutledge. I recall the time you maliciously stomped a rat to death on the front sets of Rutledge. After wards you had the gardner hose its guts off of your rubber wellies.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 02:21 PM

Your post is a flippant affront sir, and you are hiding behind a false name. I have a good suspicion as to whom you might be, and I am surprised you would find the time to engage in concocting such silly stories. I thought you were too much busy attempting to reduce the local supplies of strong spirits to absolute zero, whilst harassing the hired help and violating the rules of fashion. To use an old expression, I smell a rat.

*PR

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Howard the Turtle
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 02:46 PM

The only time I hide Ms. P Rutledge is when I pull my head into my shell when I hear that squeeking flop flop of your rubber wellies across the lawns of Rutledge Hall. I recall the time when you were quite intoxicated from gin, showing off your football skills to all your blood blooded guests using me as the ball. I still have the scars across the back of my turtle shell from that kick of yours that sent me flyi9ng over the brick garden wall. You all upper class twits are all the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 04:27 PM

If we were "all the same", Howard, it would be a wretchedly boring little world, wouldn't it? Fortunately, we are not. As for you, I have never met a turtle whom I could not easily outpace. I suggest you engage in a battle of wits with someone at your own pedestrian level...perhaps Albert, the gardener? I nearly sacked him last week after he was caught reading his filthy magazines again when he should have been trimming the hedges. However, the man has been with us for over 40 years, is virtually unemployable, and I do possess some measure of compassion.

*PR

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 05:58 PM

Rodent Alert??....Must be that time of the year when some clown does the 'state of the Union' speech!...and never gets around to the state of the Union...just watch!..He'll bullshit about agendas, and how everything is going to be 'focused' on..but still AVOID giving the real state of the Union!!
...and all those who like him, will rave about a 'great speech'..but he will still NOT deliver anything close to what the state of the Union is, or what he is supposed to be talking about....and those who still like him, will be flapping their flippers like a bunch of hungry seals at Sea World, waiting to be thrown some anchovies!!!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 01:16 AM

My dear fellow, Mr Obama does not live at # 10 Downing Street. He lives at 400 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington D.C. The Rat appeared at # 10 Downing Street in London. Please pay attention.

As for the State of your Union, I fear it has been declining ever since Cornwallis capitulated at Yorktown and the rabble took over...a sad situation, but I can offer no remedy for it at this late hour.

* PR

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 05:23 AM

Two rats, Miss Penelope....keep up!

perhaps C&C both have a pet........anyway, they seem to have the run of the place.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: Arnie
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 07:49 AM

Looks like Cameron has performed a u-turn! After earlier denials, no.10 have announced today that they are to get a cat. As the rats are outside the building I'm not sure how much use this is going to be, but no doubt will generate a big 'ahhh' factor when photos of the moggy appear in all the papers. Maybe as part of the Big Society they'll even have a national name-the-cat competition?

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 08:43 AM

Even the best restaurants can be plagued with the blighters from time to time.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 09:04 AM

And the cheeky things are trying to ascertain WHO pays for it, as it will not be a 'pet' of the Camerons. Why even ask, it will be US!

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 12:40 PM

"My dear fellow, Mr Obama does not live at # 10 Downing Street. He lives at 400 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington D.C. The Rat appeared at # 10 Downing Street in London. Please pay attention."

Ha.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 01:03 PM

That Rutledge dame don't know her American addresses as well as she thinks she does. 400 Pennsylvania Avenue is way down the street from where Obama lives. I guess Al Qaeda ain't gonna be hirin' her for plannin' their operations any time too soon, eh?

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 03:04 PM

Experts!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: Lox
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 05:39 PM

II should perhaps have taken the time to check whether someone else has mentioned this, but in case they haven't, as we are talking about parasites etc,

... has anyone looked up "Clegg" in the dictionary? ...

... basically, a Clegg is a bloodsucking pest.


"clegg

noun
large swift fly the female of which sucks blood of various animals [syn: horsefly]"

In Nicks case, clearly the Male does the same thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 08:12 PM

I'm alert! I'm alert!

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 08:40 PM

'Rat Catcher' sung by Nelson Eddy

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 08:51 PM

Good! We need more lerts!

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 10:13 PM

That was so funny I forgot to laugh.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 12:47 AM

Do you find you are forgettin' other things also? I never forget to laugh, but sometimes I forget to take the garbage out on time. I hate that. If you find you are forgettin' a lotta stuff, there is a memory enhancin' product I can recommend. It is powdered bananas mixed with red hot pepper and made up into suppositories. Every time you get a case of bad memory, you take one and shove it up you-know-where. It feels awful! Matter of fact, it feels so bad that you will probably never forget that particular matter again, cos the body has ways of protectin' itself against repeatin' a really bad experience, and yer body will automatically kick in and make you remember next time.

It so happens that I am sellin' bottles of this incredible memory enhancer for only $25 plus $5 shipping and handling.

But act fast! Supplies are runnin' low! In a week or so it may be too late and you will be sorry you forgot to act when you had the chance. Order NOW!!!! Play it safe and get 3 bottles for a bargain price: Only $70 plus $5 shipping and handling. You CAN'T PASS THAT UP!!!! DO IT NOW!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 12:33 PM

Chongo, you never mailed me the Nucular Powered Cayenne Eye Drops I ordered from you last year. I'll be danged if I order something else from you.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,David Cameron
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 03:15 PM

My wife and I have a healthy and open attitude to sex. Just because I have a taken a small rodent as a lover, and she has been spotted leaving 10 Downing Street by the front door - you rotters should not be making adverse comments.

The rodent in question is female - its not as though Ive gone queer.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,David Cameron
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 04:06 PM

Incidentally the rat's name is Michelle, and I can assure you that her recent appointment as my research assistant at a salary of a hundred grand was done completely in accordance with regulations.

The present hoo haa in the press, is due to nothing more than the filth merchants of Fleet street tapping her mobile phone.

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 06:31 PM

I think, David, that you would fit in rather well in Twillingsgate society! (giggle) You clearly have the sort of moral fibre that takes one far in Great Britain and leads to landing "the right sort of job", particularly in the halls of power. My family has never soiled its gloves, as it were, in the somewhat nasty business of politics, but we have long maintained close connections with those brave souls who do...as I think you know.

*PR

Subject: RE: BS: Rodent Alert
From: GUEST,David Cameron
Date: 26 Jan 11 - 07:18 PM

Well of course, its all no secret in the corridors of ppwer, where earthy Lib Dem types are always sniggering and saying, still getting rat arsed David? Personally I see nothing remotely funny in that sort of vulgarity.

How refreshing to speak to a lady like yourself Penelope, who is obviously liberated and educated, and takes seriously a mans needs to get his hands on something tactile and furry. And Michelle is quite wonderful in this respect.

Nevertheless if you have any frank exposure photographs of yourself, or any other tory ladies - I can assure you they will be given earnest comsideration at cabinet level. Just post them to No.10 - and if Michele's relatives don't get to them and chew them up first - they will reach me.

Of course you can always e-mail me. Michele's father has taken an interest in the SCART cable to my computer, but it looks sturdy enough at the mo'.

Yours

David