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BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob
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Subject: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: VirginiaTam Date: 25 Jan 11 - 02:06 PM I know I haven't been around much. Been quite out of sorts. Just found out today that my remaining daughter's (Hilary, age 25) autoimmune liver disease has flared big time. She has kidney stones and enlarged spleen as well. She has just moved to northern Virginia, started new job this past summer. She is quite worried about keeping the job (wage and sales commission) with her current health issues as well as making medical co-payments and paying rent which is quite dear in Northern Va. Does anyone know if there are charities or government benefits to help with this? I am terrified beyond words after losing her older sister to another autoimmune related illness and it makes it worse being stuck in the UK. Please add my Hilary to your good thoughts, prayer rounds. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Lox Date: 25 Jan 11 - 02:23 PM Sorry to hear it Virginia, I'm sorry I can't offer any meaningful help, but I would like to wish you the best of luck, and her a speedy recovery. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: eddie1 Date: 25 Jan 11 - 02:28 PM My thoughts are with both of you Eddie |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: maeve Date: 25 Jan 11 - 02:42 PM Tamara, there is an assistance information service at the state level. have your daughter dial 211 to reach someone who should be able to direct her to appropriate help. Here's a link to the webpage: http://www.211virginia.org/211provider/consumer/index211.do On the left side of the linked page is a lighthouse logo. "For information on services for Seniors and Adults with Disabilities,click on the Easy Access logo." They may offer help too in the present situation. I don't know. Also, near the bottom of the linked page is a link to state Social Services, where she may be able to get some help. I'm far from Virginia. I hope some of this at least gives a starting point. Thinking of you both, Maeve |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Morticia Date: 25 Jan 11 - 02:52 PM thinking of you both Tam |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Ebbie Date: 25 Jan 11 - 03:05 PM Tam, I was looking for encouraging words to give you but frankly, I'm almost speechless. Maeve's links look good however, and I would add that wherever she goes and whatever bit of help she gets, have her ask for another office or agency that may be able to help, complete with contact person. {{{{hug}}}} Elva B (Ebbie) Maybe I should add that I was diagnosed with lupus back in the 70s- and I am fine. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: fat B****rd Date: 25 Jan 11 - 03:07 PM Dear Tamara I am thinking of you and yours with best possibole thoughts. Kind regards from Charlie in Dunfermline. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Keith A of Hertford Date: 25 Jan 11 - 03:15 PM You have my prayers Tam. Warm thoughts too. keith. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: GUEST,mauvepink Date: 25 Jan 11 - 03:15 PM So sorry to hear this I know neither of you but as someone whose daughter is often unwell I know the fear and pain you feel. It's quite unthinkable. I truly hope she gets help and better soon Good luck to you both. Best wishes sent in my thoughts... xxx |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: gnu Date: 25 Jan 11 - 03:19 PM T&Ps from me too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: GUEST,mg Date: 25 Jan 11 - 03:54 PM Is she a UK citizen, and could she move back if it became necessary? mg |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: kendall Date: 25 Jan 11 - 04:01 PM If she becomes disabled she might qualify for Social Security SSI. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: melodeonboy Date: 25 Jan 11 - 04:30 PM I'm sorry to hear that, Tam. I hope to see you soon at some event or other in Kent. Chin up, love! |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Slag Date: 25 Jan 11 - 04:47 PM You got it VT. I hope all goes well with your daughter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: ChanteyLass Date: 25 Jan 11 - 04:48 PM I, too, hope your daughter soon finds the help she needs. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Anne Lister Date: 25 Jan 11 - 06:16 PM Sending love from here, too - wish it could be something more practical. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Bonnie Shaljean Date: 25 Jan 11 - 06:28 PM Me too. Thinking of you Tam, and wishing I didn't feel so helpless and useless. Keep us posted on how she gets along. Love you you - |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Bonnie Shaljean Date: 25 Jan 11 - 06:29 PM Love TO you. On wings - |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Janie Date: 25 Jan 11 - 06:38 PM Sending my very best to you and to Hilary, VT. Sending pm. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Beer Date: 25 Jan 11 - 07:01 PM Wishing you the very best in these tough times. Adrien |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: wysiwyg Date: 25 Jan 11 - 07:41 PM (((Tam))) Remember this is not last time starting again. It's a whole new day, every day. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: jacqui.c Date: 25 Jan 11 - 07:41 PM Good thoughts coming from Maine for both of you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 25 Jan 11 - 09:12 PM best wishes & hugs from australia |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: LilyFestre Date: 25 Jan 11 - 09:41 PM (((((((((((Love & Prayers for you and Hilary))))))))))) Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: LilyFestre Date: 25 Jan 11 - 09:45 PM VT, I think Hilary might find some help from a hospital social worker or her doctor/specialist. They might have an insight as to where she can find help specific to her needs. Love, Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: GUEST,,gargoyle Date: 25 Jan 11 - 10:29 PM Purchase an immediate one-way air-fare to the UK.
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Stilly River Sage Date: 25 Jan 11 - 11:31 PM Garg has a point - if she were in the UK, would the help be any more dependable, or possible to find? Take care, you're in our thoughts, VT. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: mouldy Date: 26 Jan 11 - 02:54 AM ((((((VT and Hilary)))))) I can offer very little else, I'm afraid. Andrea |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: VirginiaTam Date: 26 Jan 11 - 02:55 AM Thank you all for the good thoughts and helpful pms. It is impossible to bring her to UK. Unless I could support her completely including private health care. I cannot. The European Union rules do not extend to citizens of the US. She has a network of close friends and her darling boyfriend are helping er with driving her to appointments (she has no car). She has a fair few more appointments to attend. She has asked her father for help with either rent or insurance co pay. He has said they will cross that bridge when she comes to needing it, which means I will send her some money this week. If it comes to it, I will move back to US to take care of her. I have to go to work now (thank god for it keeps my mind occupied). Will return this evening with hopefully better news. I love you all.... Thank you again... keep goo thoughts going as I am afraid she will balk at the treatments for one reason or another. Pray for her strength to face these problems down. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: My guru always said Date: 26 Jan 11 - 07:47 AM So sorry to hear about Hilary's problems VT, positive thoughts & hugs to you & yours! |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: topical tom Date: 26 Jan 11 - 11:17 AM I cannot offer other than my good wishes and prayers for Hilary and you. May all end well for you both. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: wysiwyg Date: 26 Jan 11 - 11:26 AM ...He has said they will cross that bridge when she comes to needing it, which means I will send her some money this week.... Sweetie, try not to make that bridge any longer yourself before he has to cross it, OK? ~Susan (We are in that same "who helps?" boat ourselves with one of our adult kids) |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: VirginiaTam Date: 26 Jan 11 - 03:03 PM The father will do everything in his power to not give a single penny to her.... I know him. I have messaged her with the advice I received here. I have made myself sick with worry, reading up what happens when one goes into liver failure. Autoimmune liver disease prognosis varies greatly from case to case so there is some hope in that bit of information. She is home on very strong pain medication, after appointment with gastro specialist today. MRI and more blood work have been scheduled. She is thankful for thoughts and prayers as am I. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Waddon Pete Date: 26 Jan 11 - 04:15 PM More good thoughts coming in from East Anglia. Be strong! Best as ever, Peter |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Herga Kitty Date: 26 Jan 11 - 06:06 PM Tam - FWIW, all best wishes and virtual hugs to you and Hilary Kitty xx |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Maryrrf Date: 26 Jan 11 - 07:35 PM I'm very sorry to hear this Tamara. I'm in Virginia and as far as I know there isn't much to help people with medical problems and no (or not enough) insurance - unlike Massachusetts, for example, which does have a program. This organization might be of some help. Having had some (thankfully minor) medical issues recently, and now seeing the co-pays and portions the insurance didn't cover flooding in - it's discouraging. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Stilly River Sage Date: 26 Jan 11 - 08:48 PM If she is 25 then her father might (if he has health insurance) include her in a family plan. That's one of the benefits of the health care reforms. I think it would go through her 26th year. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: artbrooks Date: 26 Jan 11 - 10:18 PM I make absolutely no claims to be an expert, but there is a program that is already effective under the health care reform program for people with pre-existing conditions who cannot get health insurance. Try going on from here; if that doesn't work, start here and follow the bouncing links. Good luck to her. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Dharmabum Date: 27 Jan 11 - 10:25 AM VT. Best wishes for you & your daughter. I can relate to what you're going through. We've been dealing with my daughters medical issues for some time now. I'm lucky in that she's nearby. I hope everything works out for you both. DB. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Stilly River Sage Date: 28 Jan 11 - 10:20 AM I think between a family plan and pre-existing condition legislation, she should be able to get help. Each state has latitude in the types of high risk pool they might run also - there may be something available in the existing system that will let her in. State of Virginia Family Health Home Page. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: VirginiaTam Date: 28 Jan 11 - 01:26 PM I have pmd Hil the links with your good wishes. Haven't heard from her since Wednesday night. She is on heavy pain killer and was supposed to return to work today. She has MRI and bloods tomorrow. Gastro specialist has discharged her back to primary care doctor who she will see next Friday. Is it normal for specialist to discharge back to primary care? Thanks for all good wishes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Stilly River Sage Date: 28 Jan 11 - 04:12 PM Someone needs to coordinate the diagnostic work. I had some additional tests after the cancer surgery, based upon an observation the oncologist made. But he pointed out that the kidney he called attention to was out of his field (gynecology) so it was best if my GP coordinated the tests, and that's what he did, meeting with me to discuss results. Everything was fine, but it was good that the specialist said "there's something you might want to take a look at, on general principles." SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: VirginiaTam Date: 29 Jan 11 - 08:22 AM Work scheduled her to work today, even though she explained she has appointment for more tests. Hil's employers are pressing her for details of her sickness. Virginia is an employment at will state, which means they can lay her off at any time for any reason. She is shaking in her shoes now, that she will lose her job. Friends have just bailed on taking her to MRI and blood tests to be done today, so she has to walk and take bus, feeling as bad as she does. I wish I was there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: gnu Date: 29 Jan 11 - 11:56 AM Ahhh, VT. That's a shame. I hope the situation gets better quickly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: SINSULL Date: 29 Jan 11 - 02:14 PM VT, Maine is also an employed at will state. But companies can and do look after their own. Maybe your daughter needs to sit down with the Human Resources head, explain the problem, and let them help her work out a solution. They may even be able to help her doctors coordinate tests so she loses a minimum of work time. Just a thought. I wish you both well. Mary |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: gnu Date: 29 Jan 11 - 02:18 PM Good advice SINS. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: fat B****rd Date: 29 Jan 11 - 02:30 PM Still thinking of you, VT. Best regards as usual. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: VirginiaTam Date: 29 Jan 11 - 05:31 PM thanx Mary... I did tell her that she should take some info and advice from Doc about capability while being treated. And then talk to HR. Thanks for continued good thoughts. |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: Stilly River Sage Date: 29 Jan 11 - 05:37 PM Keeping her illness secret from her employers might mean they end up thinking she's absent for less than worth-while reasons. I suppose if they are pressing her, she should talk to them, but she should document everything they say and she says. She shouldn't be thrown under the bus just because she's ill, especially if some flexibility can help both the worker and the employer keep a good worker. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: VirginiaTam's daughter - health prob From: VirginiaTam Date: 29 Jan 11 - 06:00 PM I think that she can say to her boss that she prefers to wait on the results of the tests and has appointment to talk to doc about them this Friday. I believe that is a reasonable answer to give to boss. Then as soon as possible make appointment with HR to discuss as SINS advised. |
