BS: Dating

Subject: BS: Dating
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 May 11 - 09:19 PM

Seems a very American thing, which I have never comprehended. Do you Brits do it?
Americans, how is it supposed to work, if you have no hangups about sex?

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: bobad
Date: 17 May 11 - 09:30 PM

If it's folksingers you are interested in dating, radioisotope C14 is the way to go.

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 May 11 - 09:33 PM

LOL! Now THAT was funny!

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: Amos
Date: 17 May 11 - 09:50 PM

:D

Not being a player in that field, I can't speak for present issues; in my day you agreed in conversation on a time and day, and you met accordingly and enjoyed each other's company doing something you both liked such as dinner, movie, concert, skiing, or other social activity including physical exploration. Then (usually) you went home to your separate beds. Rinse and repeat.

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: Bobert
Date: 17 May 11 - 10:23 PM

No comment is the best comment I can make...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: J-boy
Date: 17 May 11 - 11:43 PM

The best date I ever had wasn't a date at all. Ranger1 could tell you all about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 18 May 11 - 02:54 AM

Dating still exists at all ages but it is usually a way of getting to know someone better away from everyone else, not in the physical sense but a way of finding out likes, dislikes, whether or not the person shares the same sense of humour and all the things that matter in a new relationship.

After that it is all downhill. Only joking!!

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 18 May 11 - 05:17 AM

If you're really interested in researching the subject, you might find some interesting things at the Sexploration column at msnbc.

The guy who writes most of it explores current mainstream stuff, and also looks into lots of "fringe behavior" that you'll have to filter some.

A link that's been at the top of the page for several months, called "America Unzipped" was originally an attempt at "everything anybody wants to know (a. la. Knuth?) and might be a fairly good place to start if you're really puzzled.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: Will Fly
Date: 18 May 11 - 05:29 AM

Do we Brits do it? Mmm... well now, if memory serves, when I was doing it girls didn't wear tights. They wore suspender belts and stockings, and the first target in the dating game was a feel of the suspender buttons that held the tops of the stocking up...

Oh! Be still my heart! Dear dead days of long ago... We did other things as well, but I'm too old to remember them.

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 May 11 - 12:07 PM

When I was a teenager we all went out in groups, not in couples, as we got to know each other. I guess that's where I get confused - why would you want to spend your evening only with someone you don't know yet, especially with all the "if it works out we might get laid" hanging over all of it? Or is that only the Americans, the getting laid means it was a success part?

Americans also don't like to be separated from their spouses when invited to dinner parties, I find. I was brought up to think that if you only want to talk to your already-coupled partner, you stay home... but I think the fear-of-sex thing is rampant, even in established couples, in the US.

Maybe they all just need to get laid more so they won't have to worry about it so much?

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: Bill D
Date: 18 May 11 - 01:25 PM

It must be a real problem for both sexes. Sex is depicted and insinuated everywhere... the hormones are active & working... yet there are still many reasons for 'restraint', especially on theoretical 'casual dates'.

Maybe there ARE very few casual dates anymore, and sex is 'almost' assumed unless it isn't convenient or couples take a dislike to each other.

What worries me is that serious relationships, marriage and/or kids result from basing compatibility on (mostly) sex.....[yeah, this has always been a problem, but moreso in recent decades]

I find it interesting, because I remember sitting in my college student union discussing the recent news (about 1960)that the contraceptive pill had just been approved. I said at the time that this would change the whole moral issue in years to come.

Nothing wrong with 'sex' per se, but it clouds the mind about other bases for dating/relationships.

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: GUEST,mauvepink
Date: 18 May 11 - 01:59 PM

I still think the old-fashioned term of "courting" in the UK was rather nice and still is. A "courting couple" sounds much more romantic to me than a "daing couple".

The now implied idea that sex is on the cards if dating seems to take something away from the idea...

I'm getting old lol

mp

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 18 May 11 - 04:55 PM

'Courting' to me seems more formal than 'dating'. It implies that the couple are going steady with a view to a proposal etc. 'Dating' to me is more casual, and may mean a few outings together but not taken any further. I agree that sex appears to be accepted as part of dating, and fairly soon too! If I were 'dating' I'd prefer to thoroughly get to know the man before any intimacy took place. (I am not 'getting old', I'm definitely OLD!)

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: Ed T
Date: 18 May 11 - 05:58 PM

Oddest date experience was I had was in my 20's.

We met earlier and arranged a date. We went to dinner and a movie, had a coffee and then went over to her apartment for some drinks.

She bluntly said: "You are most likely going to try your hardest to get me to bed tonight. We are then going to waste alot of time on "the girl-guy strategy thing", and in the end, we quite likely will end up in bed.(on reflection, it was the 70's).

She added, "but, it is more logical for us to just do it now, and get it over with. Then we can put that aside, and spend some quality time talking and getting to know each other."

"Any better suggestions", she added?

Where did it go?

That remains a secret:)

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: DrugCrazed
Date: 18 May 11 - 07:01 PM

I've never heard of this "dating" of which you speak.

Self deprecation aside, I dated my ex for about 6 months before a bed came into the question. Well, a bed without certain items. But I'm a coward and also, you know, I don't dig the whole casual sex thing. I've always thought of sex as a love thing, not a "Hey look, she has chesticles/bloobies/[other childish name]!" thing. Hence the whole 6 months thing.

Plus I just asked a nice lady on a date 2 days ago. Protip: The week before exams, dates are unlikely to happen.

But, I'm just the young 19 year old who stumbled upon folk 4 months ago. I know nothing of this world.

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: gnu
Date: 18 May 11 - 07:22 PM

Dating... wish I knew then what...

So here it is. Ask her/him to go out for a walk and a talk. It's that simple because the talk is what counts. Never mind dinner or a movie... a movie?... what the hell has that got to do with getting to know each other? Gosh, you might even find out you have nothing in common but decide to fuck each others' brains out anyway. Of course, that's not advisable in any way shape or form and certainly not safe at all these days.

Dating is about talking. It doesn't have to be a "date"... just a chat.

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: Bill D
Date: 18 May 11 - 07:42 PM

I finally figured out years ago what my 'rule' was.

Never go to bed with anyone who you would not enjoy being friends with if you NEVER went to bed with them, or stop being intimate with them.

   As a result, I am still friends with several old GFs from many, many years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 19 May 11 - 03:08 AM

A "news(?)" article appearing today claims that Playboy has just completed their "most extensive (sex) survey since 1983" and will report fully in the June issue "how the Internet has changed sex."

One might expect that the Internet has had about as much effect as the pill(?).

The item, unfortunately, gave very little information about what may be in the report; but previous such "opinion from Playboy" has been about as informative as what the "medically certificated sexologists" (anybody remember Kinsey?) have been able to come up with.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: DrugCrazed
Date: 19 May 11 - 05:36 AM

The day Playboy becomes a world renowned expert on anything except topless women is the day I start doing press ups.

@Bill: A fun rule, and worth it. But I'm not staying friends with my ex. She did not do good. Though I thought friends with the ex wasn't good for the current? I wouldn't know, I only have one ex.

@gnu: I remember my first "date" was sitting in Piccadily Gardens and just talking. Plus, it was sunny in Manchester. I think the world was broken for an hour or two.

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: GUEST,John MacKenzie
Date: 19 May 11 - 05:52 AM

I've given up dating, and instead I have assumed my new status in this game.

DATED!

Subject: RE: BS: Dating
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 19 May 11 - 08:12 AM

I think you can tell if you are getting a kind of chemistry with someone before it leads to being asked out on a date most of the time. It can lead on to being better well aquainted and possibly another date or you may find that although you get on well it's not quite what you were looking for. Depends on whether it is a potential partner that you are after or a going out friend that you want. There is a difference.

In my youth many a blossoming friendship ended because of something as silly as disagreeing about certain tastes of music, friends or clothes which probably showed that I was too young to date anyone in the first place.