Subject: BS: What would you do if.... From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Aug 11 - 12:51 PM ...you were marooned on a desert island for years with Woody Allen? Nobody else around. Just you and Woody Allen. And some palm trees and minor flora and fauna. Hmmm? What would you do? |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Smokey. Date: 02 Aug 11 - 01:42 PM Eat him. Legs first, so he could still do the comedy stuff for a bit longer. Not that I've actually got anything against him, of course. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: GUEST,Chongo The Chimp Date: 02 Aug 11 - 01:55 PM I'd rather be marooned with you Little Hawk. Then you n me n Penolope n Blind Drunk could play bridge. Not that that says anything about your mental state. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Will Fly Date: 02 Aug 11 - 02:08 PM Screw him. Well... any port in a storm... |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 02 Aug 11 - 02:15 PM Blunt trauma comes to mind. Any cliffs on the island? |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 02 Aug 11 - 02:33 PM Well, he's 76 years old now. I'd probably be seeing to his corns and helping him to the toilet. (Assuming there was a loo on the island) |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: olddude Date: 02 Aug 11 - 02:57 PM shoot myself in the face |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:05 PM LOL!!!! Good start, folks! I await further comments. Guest who is posing as Chongo - You are a repellant, chuckle-headed, yeasty, maleficent and contemptible houndsbait. I wish you a lovely afternoon. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Ebbie Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:08 PM sheesh If this were a serious question I'd like it better. Why Woody Allen? Why not Hefner? Trump? Rupert? Shatner? And why a man? Or was this addressed only to male Mudcatters? |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:09 PM Now you all know why I have sworn off transoceanic flights when Woody Allen is aboard. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:14 PM Little Hawk, you've gone all Shakespearian! |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:32 PM Ebbie... "Or was this addressed only to male Mudcatters?" I take a front to that. I am sure there are just as many female 'Catters who find him annoying. I think his writing is amazing but if he came to my side of the island and wanted to engage in conversation there would be bloodshed. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Aug 11 - 03:35 PM Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah, I can just see that in my mind's eye, gnu. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 02 Aug 11 - 04:35 PM Woody: "Yeah so, don't you just hate it when you are stanging in a movie line and some "expert" starts spouting off about what Marshall MacClueless would say? Gnu" "Shut the fuck up or I'll stuff this coconut down your throat." Woody: "But I have Marshall MacClueless right here." Marshall MacClueless: "Shut the fuck up Woody!" Woody: "MMMFFPPGHGH" Gnu: "I told you. Didn't I?" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 02 Aug 11 - 04:59 PM But, Jts, in an "island village", Marshy, or Boggy, as I call him, wouldn't exist given LH's scenario. However, he would be far more welcome in conversation than yer Woody. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Donuel Date: 02 Aug 11 - 05:10 PM I would fight for the pencil. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Richard Bridge Date: 02 Aug 11 - 05:13 PM How do you know he would be there for years? |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 02 Aug 11 - 05:20 PM Ahhhh... in case anyone is wondering about the Marshall clues being dropped, there ya go eh. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 02 Aug 11 - 05:20 PM >>But, Jts, in an "island village", Marshy, or Boggy, as I call him, wouldn't exist given LH's scenario.<< But Woody would pull him out of his ass, as he did in "Annie Hall." |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:02 PM This scene is what was referred to. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:03 PM I shant get into such a discussion of the relative merits or abilities of either of these authors in a knock down. Each has same in variation and obviously I am far less qualified than either or you to judge them or your comments in any way. Say... that was pretty good as far as fence sitting goes. I am learning eh? |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:05 PM As far as fence siting goes. It is a good idea to avoid the pickets. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:10 PM I wasn't mocking Marshies writing. Just Woody's use of him. Skip to the end of the clip if you find it too long. 25 years later, I want to throttle the Woody Allen I used to enjoy. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:20 PM Oh... I missed the post of the clip. My bad. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:21 PM Actually I didn't... just cross posted. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Mrrzy Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:23 PM Eating him is the best suggestion yet, as long as it's cannibalism you're proposing and not fellatio. (Shudder.) |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:27 PM Aha... I had forgotten all about it JtS... thanks. Now, if Woody could do that in conversation, I might buy him a beer... on HIS side of the island. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 02 Aug 11 - 06:42 PM An exile to Woodyville would be more tolerable if there were plenty of beer. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Smokey. Date: 02 Aug 11 - 07:36 PM Eating him is the best suggestion yet, as long as it's cannibalism you're proposing and not fellatio. I was strictly referring to his food value. He'd have to be dead for anything sexual to occur - I was brought up to adhere to strict standards of decency and I wouldn't want to give him the idea I was some kind of pervert. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 02 Aug 11 - 08:03 PM Ohhhhh dear. Baaaad. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Joe_F Date: 02 Aug 11 - 09:11 PM I suppose I would try to be polite. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Ed T Date: 02 Aug 11 - 09:29 PM Write down as of what he says that I could. Hoping it may be useful some day. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Smokey. Date: 02 Aug 11 - 10:01 PM Gnu, I don't know what moral standards you chaps out there in the Colonies have, but in Blighty it's considered terribly bad form to shag a chap after you've eaten his legs - it's just not cricket. Awfully bad manners. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Bobert Date: 02 Aug 11 - 10:09 PM Ummmmm... Just got off the phone with woody and he's busy... No time fir desert isalnds... How about getting stuck on the island with Julie Kendall??? Or Morgan Fairchild??? B~ |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 02 Aug 11 - 10:22 PM My wife....Morgan Fairchild Who I had sex with!! |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Smokey. Date: 02 Aug 11 - 10:23 PM Try pretending to be charming, then eat 'em. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Aug 11 - 12:59 AM I still love that old scene with Woody Allen in the theatre line. But I can also relate to the idea of throttling him. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Aug 11 - 01:05 AM Here are my favorite Woody Allen scenes: Mayhem in Manhattan |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Aug 11 - 01:52 PM By the way, where did some of you get the idea I was directing the question at the beginning of this thread only to other men? I was directing it at the women here too. What would you women do if stuck on the island with Woody Allen. Think about it. He'd probably start getting ideas after awhile.... And to make it more fun, let's say that it was the Woody Allen of about 30 or more years ago...not the geriatric old Woody Allen we have now. The Woody Allen of the mid-70's! Complete with all his lust, angst, and unsatisfied needs and desires! Yessiree. ;-) Just think about it. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:30 PM If Woody had his clarinet and I had a guitar, we'd play old swing tunes until we were rescued. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:45 PM I would make Woody my personal slave. As he's pretty old and decrepit now, I could probably physically dominate him fairly easily, the rest would follow from there. He would have to construct and then wear (in my presence at least, couldn't be bothered with all the blather) some form of ball gag and then do all the basic desert island style housekeeping stuff necessary to keep me safe and fed. Ideally that Kadyshan bird would be there with us also, then I could attach Woody to us both, with her as titty-raft cum blow-up buoyancy sex-doll aid, and with Woody doggy paddling, my return from the Island of desolation and despair would be twice as swift as with the lovely Kadishany sex-doll buoyancy aid alone. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:51 PM Wow LL you have it figured out! I like the slave idea. I imagine an unripe mango would serve as a ball gag. Wasn't "the Ball Gag" one of Woody's old routines? (jest kidding) |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:55 PM "with her as titty-raft cum blow-up buoyancy sex-doll aid, and with Woody doggy paddling," Mmm, well just so long as Woody's doggy style efforts get me safely to shore (and just so long as Kandyshan doesn't puncture) feel free to add your own innuendos as you see fit.. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:59 PM JtS RE: the ball gag, wasn't that in Sleeper? Can you recall, it's a vague memory there for me - Probably prompted the image there. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 03 Aug 11 - 04:22 PM If the Calypso showed up, Phillipe and I could use the shark tank to observe the dealy man eaters avoiding Woody... if the tide washed him off of the rocks at the bottom of the cliff. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: olddude Date: 03 Aug 11 - 05:39 PM use him for bait when I would go fishing |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 03 Aug 11 - 05:48 PM Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: GUEST,livelylass - PM Date: 03 Aug 11 - 03:59 PM JtS RE: the ball gag, wasn't that in Sleeper? Can you recall, it's a vague memory there for me - Probably prompted the image there. So it appears. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: olddude Date: 03 Aug 11 - 06:01 PM Throw him in the ocean to see if shit really does float or sell him to the local chief's 13 year old daughter |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 03 Aug 11 - 06:04 PM Oh, it *was* That gag. Unfortunately for the Woody on *My* Island he'll have to make do with a non-sentient blow-up doll called Kandyhandyshandy and a very fucked off sentient English bird who's not interested in that kind of geriatric 'nursing'. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 03 Aug 11 - 06:07 PM Oh my! OH MY! Dan! I am shocked! Dan??? Did Woody try to force feed you Jell-o once upon a time? |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: olddude Date: 03 Aug 11 - 06:11 PM He is a Jell-o lover tee hee |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 04 Aug 11 - 10:49 AM Food for thought? |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:03 PM I just don't think Woody would taste that good, specially without proper seasoning. I'd be inclined to eat mangos and coconuts instead and simply advise Woody that it might be a good idea for him to keep well away to the other side of the island...or else stop talking on pain of sudden death if he didn't...his choice. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:06 PM You'd go all Lord of the Flies on his ass? |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:14 PM I don't think I would have to. I think he'd probably go to the other side of the island...muttering to himself a tedious monologue as he went...and the whiny sound would slowly, slowly fade away into the peaceful sound of the waves rolling in... He'd definitely suffer agonies, though, without the weekly visit to his shrink. It saddens me to think of it. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:24 PM Now you are just being cruel. I just imagined that Woody had talked you into being his shrink. There he is on a hammock, you sitting on a stump, using a seagull feather and squid ink to write Woody Allen's problems on a palm frond. "And those snakes... Who would have thought there would be snakes. And the monkeys with their poo flinging. Reminds me of my in laws. Did I tell you about the time I dressed as a sperm?" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:25 PM LOL!!! That is a great idea, Jack. I think you're onto something. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: gnu Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:28 PM The sperm scene was kinda funny... I was a teenager. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:30 PM Easy peasy ploy to get shot of Kandyshan & Woody in one go, so I can relax in my island paradise in peace. Just tell the lovely Kandyshan that the paparazzi have tailed us all and are hiding out in the bushes on the other side of the island, waiting for a chance to snap her and splash her nudey desert island "romps" all over the tabloids. She'll be over there in a shot. And naturally Woody will follow her, especially if I tell him she's only just turned 16.. Annoying celebrity problem sorted, time to return to gutting and smoking halibut. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: JohnInKansas Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:37 PM A little way up above: I think his writing is amazing but if he came to my side of the island and wanted to engage in conversation there would be bloodshed. Lots of perfectly intelligent people have some degree of difficulty maintaining their part coherently in a conversation, and in the interests of fair play one should at least attempt to make allowances and accomodate their peculiarities. Haven't you ever been married? John |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:44 PM "Haven't you ever been married?" To Woody Allen??? Brrrrrrr!! |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you do if.... From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:52 PM That seems to have been Mia Farrow's reaction. |