BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...

Subject: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 04:57 PM

... or anyone else.

I drive Mum aboutst town in her sleek German engineered Chrysler 300, averaging 4km per day at 40 to 50 kph. Last Sunday AM I took it out on the 4lane and put the pedal to metal 3 times - about 80 to 160 kph but I couldn't maintain 160 for any more than about 30 seconds even though there wasn't much traffic. Each time I killed a hundred skeeters with blue smoke but I know it's still carboned up.

So, how do I blow the carbon out if I can't maintain speed for 10 km or so? If I rev it in park will that fuck things up?

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 05:02 PM

You need to open her up g. The car, not your mom. Short runs are car killers. don't even get time for the choke to open fully, bad news.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 05:15 PM

Thanks John. Good to know.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: GUEST,bert
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 05:17 PM

It's 'cos your working i sillymeters and not miles

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 05:26 PM

Let it get up to full operating temperature BEFORE you take it out. Then give a blow through

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 06:33 PM

Read this.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 11:07 PM

Spaw isn't really an authority on blowjobs. What he is an authority on, however, is sloth (to use the old term for it). Laziness, that is. There's nothing about it that he doesn't know or hasn't accomplished to the uttermost degree possible. Ask him.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 11:37 PM

An Italian tuneup is a recognised way of getting your emissions in line before an emissions test. The hard part is finding somewhere to do it without getting kodaked. But that may not be the issue here.

Blue smoke? Blue smoke is oil not carbon. Black smoke is carbon. White smoke is coolant. I'm thinking head gasket.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 12:00 AM

If at first you don't succeed, suck harder.
If at first you don't suck seed, suck harder.
If at first you don't succeed, suck harder.
If at first you don't suck seed, suck harder.


I just can't figure it out for sure.....

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: EBarnacle
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 01:04 AM

Hopw many miles or k's on the car? What is the year of the car? Have you had a compression test by a competent mechanic? The one possibility not mentioned previously is stuck or worn rings. What looks like blue smoke to you may be black smoke to the poor sucker behind you. What does the smoke smell like? Does your temp gauge go nuts? Have the mechs checked for vacuum leaks?

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: C-flat
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 06:09 AM

Sounds like an oil problem to me too.
Needs checking out.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 06:52 AM

By the way the Chrysler 300s have a rotten reputation here in the UK.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: kendall
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 06:53 AM

Use at least three tanks of premium gas. It has a cleaner in it. Also, if it's an automatic tranny, keep it in 2nd gear, rev it up to the same revs you would as if it were in high range going 90 kph.

If it's blue smoke, change the oil. I'm no fan of additives, just top quality oil will do.

Never rev an engine in park.

My suggestion would be, get her a hybrid and you keep the 300. Driving a 300 to and from the doctor is like dusting crops with a B-29

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 07:23 AM

I'd start with a compression test, checking the presence of other things (eg water) in the oil, putting a sniffer in the header tank. All preferably right now and before any extended revving. And watch the temperature gauge.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: GUEST,999
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 07:26 AM

It'd do the job, though. Three passes and Bob's yer uncle. All 40,000 acres done

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: kendall
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 12:05 PM

Now there was a work horse!

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: GUEST,JTS
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 12:13 PM

BWL, has quoted the source I would have referenced. Fuel injected cars don't get carbon buildup. I think that your mom's car may need real repairs for high dollars. I hope i am wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 01:34 PM

They suffer from a problem with an oil seal to a pipe low at the back of the engine that is something to do with a turbocharger. Repair cost about £1,000 UK. It might be that.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 02:26 PM

Thanks for all the advice. I am gonna have a chat with me buddy the service manager (long time mechanic) at the garage where I get my work done... BEFORE I talk to Chysler. It's got LOW kms and it's under warranty.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 02:53 PM

Don says... even with the new fuel delivery systems they can carbon up. The first step is to do a "power purge" or "carbon blast". They start the car through the intake with a half can of this stuff and then let it sit for 20 minutes. Then they either do it again or add the other half of the can to the gas tank (I got a different take from the mechanic who actually does it) and just let it idle until it stops blowing smoke. If it doesn't stop blowing smoke, the $35 spent is worth it to find out if there may be a more serious problem.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 03:21 PM

Mr Google he say: -


Here's an example fault on the CHRYSLER 300C (2007 - Present)
What to look for:

Open the bonnet of the car with the engine off - making sure first that the engine is cold - lift up the engine cover (you don't have to undo any bolts or clips for this) – you will see a large duct running from the back of the engine to the front. This is the turbo hose which transports hot oil from one side of the engine to the other. Lift it up and check underneath for evidence of oil leaking into middle of the engine.
What it means:

If you find this fault then it is likely that oil is leaking out of the turbo hose and falling onto the swirl motor which is underneath. This damages the swirl motor which is integral to the running of the engine as it powers the turbo. If you find this fault the swirl motor will need to be replaced.
What to do

If the car is under warranty (3 years/60,000miles) or at a dealer then Chrysler/Jeep may repair the defect for free. Otherwise try to negotiate a £1000.00 discount or have the repair completed as part of the deal."

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 03:51 PM

Okay. Ahhh, if oil is leaking from the turbo hose (I still don't understand how a hose would be used for this transfer instead of steel tubing) is the smoke coming from the leaked oil or from that fact that the swirl motor is working improperly?

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: DrugCrazed
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 04:50 PM

You all disappoint me with your childish innuendo*

*In YOUR endo. *giggles*

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 04:58 PM

German?

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 06:10 PM

JtS...

Yeah... it's a 300... a Mercedes. It's a "DaimlerChrysler" design. It's a German engieered car "made" in the US.

Eminem can't count... in that commercial it was called a 200. And, the grill on that one sucks compared to the grill on Mum's 300 Limited. It not only looks like a Merc, the grill "sparkles" in the sun as you walk by it. It actually makes people stare and point. Some even stop and stare. It REALLY is a "beautiful" car but I wouldn't buy one. It looks cool but the visibility sucks BIG time. I gotta lean forward to see traffic lights and I can't see shit when I am parking.

But the sound system is amazing and it goes like a scalded dog and it corners like a dream... I can drive this sucker at speed and it PERFORMS! The voice activated computer shit is toooo much fer me. The manual for the computer shit is near the size of the owner's manual. 6 sensors control the auto environment temperature contols... on BOTH sides of ther car! Fuck me! That's toooo much control by a machine.

Anyway, I never drove a vehicle at 200 kph before. It's a serious piece a gear... but, too complicated. I would rather drive my 74 Bug... I could repair that when it fucked up.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: GUEST,999
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 06:12 PM

*In YOUR endo. *giggles*

Thank you Frankie Howerd.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 06:13 PM

Pretty cool ad. Chongo would love it. He thinks that way ("Life is a battle. And I'm gonna win it. Never settle for second best.")

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Sep 11 - 07:44 PM

You got Pep Boys, gn-ze??? If so, you are in luck... They sell stuff that you can spray into the air cleaner (without the filter in it) while holdin' the revs up to about 3000... Don't do it inside the garage...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Sep 11 - 01:23 AM

"Corners like a dream"? - the UK and European voice is unanimous on this - it is a luxobarge with all the litheness and deftness of a supertanker. When the Lancia-badged version hits Europe (it will still be a Chrysler in the UK) it will have a wholly different suspension in an attempt to make it handle.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Sep 11 - 04:31 AM

Could it be bad dream?

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 13 Sep 11 - 04:52 AM

Incidentally, the various descendants of "carb cleaners" may have harmful effects on modern plastics etc and if they turn out to eat part of your induction tract you are on your own, warranty wise, no doubt.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Sep 11 - 10:02 AM

Watch the astronaut drinking water in space... now THAT's a money shot!

Also, blow is just a figure of speech.

That concludes my advice. I would trust 'Spaw on this one.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Sep 11 - 12:41 PM

In Chongo's day "blow" meant "get lost" or "hit the road".

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: gnu
Date: 13 Sep 11 - 02:28 PM

Done. Wynn's Power Charge. $26.95 a can at the garage. Clean as a whistle after the second blast on the highway.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 14 Sep 11 - 07:55 AM

You solved your problem when you said it was under warrantee.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: EBarnacle
Date: 14 Sep 11 - 08:16 AM

What Kendall said. Let the screwups at Chrysler unscrew the job.

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Sep 11 - 12:16 PM

Now it's sorted (touch wood) you have an excuse to take it to the races once a week! Result!

Subject: RE: BS: (auto) I need blowjob advice... Spaw?...
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Sep 11 - 10:11 PM

Aw, who cleaned up the thread title? Are we that PC now?