Obit: Death Watch ?

Subject: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: GUEST,Hookey Wole
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 12:24 PM

No matter how well intentioned, sincere and respectful, is this new trend in morbid "is passing / is dying' threads
a positive advancement from solemnly waiting for nature to take it's course before posting a traditional RIP / Obit.

It all seems verging a bit too much 'up to the minute Satellite TV 24/7 tweeting breaking news' for my liking.

Am I the only one who feels an uneasy discomfort ???

At what point in a cherished artist's diagnosed or rumoured illness are these threads intended to be initiated...???

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 12:46 PM

Over the years I've seen quite a few threads that announced that someone was ill or injured. I don't think it is new here. Bad things happen to people and then friends or admirers follow along their recovery - or not.

I suspect if it is a well-known figure, more guests post here and we see it filling up with good wishes. That may be what you're responding to in the Gibbs thread.

SRS

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 01:59 PM

I think we are designed to follow someone's passage and I think it would help the family to know others are watching with them...today it is done by internet because we are so far apart but it is still valid..and even if we didn't know them personally it is still part of life...and the shock is lesser if you see it coming. mg

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: gnu
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:03 PM

I informed a buddy today that if he wanted to visit my uncle he should do it ASAP. I don't see anything wrong with that. Matter of fact, just the opposite.

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:05 PM

'Tain't morbid. Like the man said, "No one here gets out alive."

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Megan L
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:07 PM

I think it is fine telling a relation or friend but this morbid curiousity of strangers is ghoulish.

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: gnu
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:29 PM

Megan... yeahhhh... I guess so... especially when the thread title doesn't mention a name.

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: gnu
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:33 PM

Hmmm... that didn't make ANY sense. Seems to happen more frequently as of late.

Do I get a Senior's Pass on that post?

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Megan L
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:35 PM

he he What is more scary lad was I understood it ok we share the pass

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:44 PM

I don't think there is too much morbid curiosity..and is Bing Crosby a stranger to us really? John Lennon? We know them in a way and not just their music...and how do we make sure that all interested parties get informed? This covers more bases...

I think we are wired for this and if it means we follow the death of an unknown homeless person as well as a famous movie star isn't this better than going out without anyone noticing? mg

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Will Fly
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:54 PM

well, I posted a thread above the line about the passing of Levon Helm. I don't give two hoots what anyone else thinks, but this moves me beyond measure. I've treasured this man's music for over 30 years - got all his records, read his book, followed his life.

His was a life that gave me and thousands of others a huge amount of wonderful music. His website promises that any messages left for him will be read to him - I hope that's true. I've left mine.

This, in my view, is not morbid - it's part of a journey towards a celebration of a life lived to the brim with fun, friendship and music. Let him know before he goes just how much he's loved.

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: GUEST,Hookey Wole
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 02:59 PM

I just want to make it absolutely clear my opening post is referring only to threads
regarding fairly 'well known' artists & 'celebrities'.

[As distinct from personal family & friends requests for well wishes and prayers
which are an important part of the fabric of this mudcat community..]

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 03:01 PM

I think we had more than one thread of this sort for other people - for example, Utah Phillips - it's part of being human, ushering others in and out until our time comes. Perhaps this serves in place today of sending a condolence card to the family.

SRS

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Jeri
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 03:42 PM

I find the "Obit" threads for famous people started 30 seconds after their death is announced to be creepier, but some people are into that.

I'd find the death watch threads in poor taste, EXCEPT for the chance to support the person's family and friends. I went to Levon Helm's website because of the thread on him, and there was a message that said they welcomed people's memories and kind thoughts.

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: GUEST,highlandman at work
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 04:58 PM

For what my opinion is worth, I don't think "taste", good or poor, enters into it. Will Fly above said a lot of what is in my mind about this.
On the contrary, I feel that it is a modern aberration to leave people in isolation from their community in the name of "taste" or "privacy." It's just a symptom of our general alienation, one we shouldn't hold up as normal or desirable. We as a community (define it however you will, but I am sure there is some sort of community bond between us and musicians we admire and identify with despite having never met) need to come together more, not less, and share the common woes and triumphs of our common humanity.
Sure there is a line somewhere that is better not crossed. I can't define it, but like the man said, "I know it when I see it."
Lately at least I haven't seen the line crossed here.
Cheers
-Glenn

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Gurney
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 05:10 PM

The threads that I have posted to are about those who have influenced me in my formative years, or those who I knew personally.

It would be odd NOT to, in my opinion.

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 07:02 PM

This type of thread reminds me of a scene in To Kill A Mockingbird when Mrs. Radley is dying (I think it was that neighbor--been a while since I last read it). The street is covered with straw, to quiet the sound of passing vehicles, out of respect and comfort for the dying. It seems to me if your street was covered up with hay or straw one day, you'd either know why or want to know who was gravely ill.

SRS

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 07:04 PM

I'm kind of like Jeri. It seems sometimes we get the news of someone's passing (famous, that is) within minutes and it does seem a little ghoulish, though I am sure I've probably started a few when it was about someone I felt was important to most of us. (Also not talking about Mudcatters and families, etc. That's different.)

Personally, I'd much prefer a different title for THIS thread. Nothing wrong with the thread, but I do not like the title.

kat

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: gnu
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 07:19 PM

So, how long should one wait to post about a passing?

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 09:35 PM

Am I the only one who finds it easier to learn of a performer's death on Mudcat than on the news? I live alone. When I read about the death on Mudcat I feel like I am sharing my sorrow with friends or at least people I "know." When I hear about it on the news I have nobody to share it with because I live alone.

I heard about a recent celebrity death (Dick Clark, I think) when I was at home and Brian Williams came on NBC with a news bulletin. I almost posted it on Mudcat right away, but I held off because I had to leave the house soon and felt I would be rushing too much to do an appropriate meaningful post.

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Bobert
Date: 19 Apr 12 - 09:46 PM

I'm torn...

Yeah, folks need to know that friends are in the last chapter so they can make arrangements to visit... Unfortunately, folks don't do all that visiting... I know... I buried my late wife, Judy, and believe me, folks don't make those visits...

But they still need to know so they can, at least, make the decision to put off that visit...

Details of one's demise, however, are well meaning but not helpful...

It's tough...

B~

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Raptor
Date: 20 Apr 12 - 02:20 PM

I don't feel there is anything wrong with the obit posts (i just started one) I agree with whomever said they'd rather read it here.

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Pistachio
Date: 21 Apr 12 - 12:57 PM

Like your comment ChanteyLass - the community of Mudcat is caring and Yes, 'forward notice' can gives some the 'heads-up' and a chance to do something before it's too late.... (if they feel they can take the time). Sorry for your sadness Bobert. Hx

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: GUEST,Guest:: Michael William Harrison
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 01:49 AM

Sometimes writing something on this page is just a useless waste of time; and yes, I guess I'm taking this chat here a bit personal, but... Folks liked to rip me to shreds in another thread for asking a legitimate question - Is Robin Gibb near death? I was chastised for asking the question and advised to go to FaceBook or Google for the answer. Well,...duh,...it was on facebook that I caught the rumor and I dare say that FB is not my source for information clarification when I need it. I thought that I might get a straight, honest, informative answer from Mudcat, but istead I was ripped for asking the question and so it continues on this thread. I guess my moral and ethical standards just don't measure up to so many of you all on Mudcat - I'm outta here, too tight a suit for me to wear. Cheers.

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Jeri
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 09:36 AM

Sometimes a whole bunch of people discuss the issue calmly and maybe two or three complain about it and get called "many". Michael, most of the folks in that thread were not trying to rip you to shreds for asking the question.

Even so, I think the objections were due to the fact that mortality is a bit of a taboo subject. It can make people uncomfortable, and it makes them even MORE uncomfortable if others aren't.

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: GUEST,Hookey Wole
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 11:45 AM

As creator of this thread, all I can say is I opened it primarily
to help me clarify my thoughts and feelings on this sensitive matter;
inviting mudcat community to respond positively and debate and share ideas and opinions.

Asking questions in open forum can occasionally help resolve unspoken unconsidered entrenched irrational reactions
to a particular'problem'.

In a wider social context far greater than this forum, and to make more sense of this thread's chosen title,
simply google "celebrity death watch" and consider the tone & nature of the websites that will be listed.

Now think about how comfortably a spate of mudcat pre Obit premature celebrity RIP threads
could sit in relation to the nastier 'humorous' 'place your bet's who's dead next' web forums.


GUEST,Guest:: Michael William Harrison it's your prerogative to take personal offence where none was ever intended
and storm off in a hissy fit.

I had no idea who you are or that it was even you who started the Robin Gibb thread,
so I can definitely assure you no personal insult was ever meant.

I, we, can only be so reasonably aware & considerate of the potential feelings of others when writing at this forum,
but surely can't be expected take responsibility for the acute over-sensitivities & personal paranoias
of every individual who infrequently joins in and contributes here.


Now, having googled the name you use here, then if that is really you, you are certainly a man of substantial character
and rightly held in high esteem and respect on your side of the Atlantic.

Please reconsider your upset with our community....

Subject: RE: Obit: Death Watch ?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Apr 12 - 11:52 AM

Hookey, Michael cycles through that kind of hissy-fit every so often, but I think he has mellowed a lot since his own brush with death. He has mellowed, this is just an old puckish gene kicking in, probably because of the serendipitous creation of this thread with the discussion on the other.

Michael, don't go away mad, and don't go away.

SRS