BS: Is this our Shane?

Subject: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 12 - 11:56 AM

Is it? Could this be Shane McBride?

He's pissed off. Our Shane is frequently pissed off. He's driving a car. If it was our Shane it would be a stolen car. He has made a long series of videos about himself and put them on Youtube, and this one is apparently Shane on Day 92! It's kind of horrifying to think that there are at least 92 videos of this guy on Youtube, and one has to wonder how many people are watching them? And why?

There are over 225,000 hits on his 92nd Day video. That, to me, is a sobering thought.

But is he OUR Shane? Probably not. He's too well shaven, and he doesn't seem unkempt or dirty enough to be our Shane. His general level of intelligence may be a bit higher than that of our Shane, although more research would be needed to confirm that absolutely.

I don't think he's located in Canada. So he's almost certainly not our Shane.

If our Shane were to start a similar vlog, how many hits would it garner in 6 months? And then what? Shane has always wanted to be famous and have numerous not very smart girlfriends. Perhaps this is the answer.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 12 - 01:11 PM

Perhaps Shame could actually do a videoblog. I have a broken cell phone I'd contribute. It doesn't have a camera but he'd never know because he has a hard time using any phone. He still calls "0" and has the operator connect him. When the operator answers Shame yells, "HELLO? CENTRAL?? LEMME TALK TO DON!!!! I GOTTA HAVE BAIL MONEY AGIN!!!!!"

How many hits would it garner in six months? It would depend how often Shame could scrounge computer use to look at his own video, so I'd guess at least three or four.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 12 - 01:20 PM

I think you're underestimating how much response videos of Shane would provoke. We simply need to get someone to help him with the filming and get it out there. Idiocy sells.

He could do a daily videoblog expounding on his life, touching on subjects such as partying, seduction, sex techniques, breaking and entering, negotiating with the forces of the law, the history of the Blind River McBrides, etc...

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 12 - 03:05 PM

Shane wouldn't wear a toque at night. Every Canuck knows that formal dress at night requires a ball cap and that it IS worn in proper fashion which is straight ahead with the brim curled just right. Toques are acceptable outdoors, but must be removed upon entering a building and replaced with a ball cap. Given that Shane lives in a car, this etiquette would also apply. Ergo, that ain't Shane. Besides, the young gentleman in the video uses language far too polite for him to be Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 12 - 04:01 PM

He also apparently bathes, at least sometimes.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 12 - 04:02 PM

Ya got Smell Ya Toob?

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Ed T
Date: 13 May 12 - 04:41 PM

Happy MFers day Shane.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Bobert
Date: 13 May 12 - 04:49 PM

Shane, I'm sorry to say, does not have the kinda articulation skills as this dude clearly has developed... I mean, not everyone, can seamlessly go from rating about speeders to food...

In other words, keep your day job, Shane... You know, hangin' out in the back of that broken down ol' Dodge van, drenking and listenin' to that 8 track you have of Lynyard Skynyrds 1st LP over and over...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 12 - 05:05 PM

Bobert... I recall when LS was playin a concert here and they were interviewed on radio. They were told that "Sweet Home Albert County", played by the Albert County Liquor Pigs Band and others, was an anthem in the hills bordering our city to the south. One of the guys said he didn't know if he liked the sound a that.

Our rednecks are known as good ol boys. Some good, some bad... to the bone. Same everywhere, I expect.

The ACLPs are/were? actually a club. Each member has an original artwork t-shirt with the ACLP's logo. It ain't pretty. A course, I don't even know if they still exist but I expect they do. Homegrown good ol boys. >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 13 May 12 - 05:54 PM

That fliphead is not me! And whatta flippin' looser he is! He sounds like a lotta young less-ons* in this town, and he looks like one too.

*(In case ya didn't know...A less-on is someone even dumber than a moron, eh? There are way too many less-ons arownd here. Self-respectin' morons DON'T hang out with less-ons!...unless they are females. In which case...the less they got on, the better.)

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 12 - 09:28 PM

Shame, are you denying your own name? Are you ashamed of it?

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: number 6
Date: 13 May 12 - 10:16 PM

These 'Shane' posts are completely imbecilic ... and they are as monotonous as the drive along the 401 from Toronto to Windsor.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 13 May 12 - 11:40 PM

I know it seems like it, but it isn't true that laws have been passed forbidding fun and frivolity in present-day culture. Apparently, if LH, Rap, gnu and Bobert want to josh, they can do it with impunity.

Sometimes I do it myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 12 - 12:49 AM

If you don't flippin' enjoy the hoser humour, don't read it.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 12 - 12:24 PM

It's not "our" Shame. Shame is dead. You learn this if you play "Bat Out Of Hell" backwards and listen to it sort of sideways. It's all very clear, they keep saying "Shame has croaked! Shame has croaked! We buried him!"

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: number 6
Date: 14 May 12 - 01:19 PM

How can I avoid this "hoser" Shane humour ... it flippin' creeps and invades almost every thread here in the Madcat.

"flippin" ... sheeesh. The last time I heard that word was at some White Rose gas bar in Iron Bridge back in 1977, or was it 1976. Then again it was probably 1978

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 12 - 02:14 PM

THere's another big difference between this guy and Shane. One of them is the overheated feverish byproduct of an emotionally unstable potentially psychopathic mind, and the other is the figment of a Candian imagination.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 12 - 02:50 PM

Dale here on gnus compudder. Soons i heard he was in tha emergency I floored Dels pickup an headed fer town. kilt too birds with one shot on accounta Del was in the can when he herd me start up his truck an I needed ta put space twixt us big time. Hes like that eh.

So like i get to town and use my Kent County key ta get inta gnus place and figgered on seein what gnu was surfin on tha internet and find this? Some city boy trashin us good ol boys from the backwoods. Heres the scoop fer ya and the white hores ya rode in on! If it waddnt fer guys like me ya wood not have any pulpwood fer yer big fancy telegraf joornal in yer Saint Jon New Brumswick. I bet ya swell up like a day old gut shot mooze in jooly if a blakfly even lands on ya. I sleep in the nude in my truck with tha windas open back in the bog countree when i am cuttin pulp sos I can cut cords a day in the lite hours. If i get up ta pee in the dark on accounta i had to much beer i cut a cupple a cord in the headlites just ta get me tired sos I can sleep more until lite. Corse i have a few mor brown pops to.

Ya stay in the big city now. Up countree, ya never no what kin happen to a sport from down south. Ya ever see that movie Deliberats.

The beer is all gone. I am full. Got me some new titie wities and sox and it's been 6 hours since gnu went to the hospital so i gotta take a nap fer a cupple hours before he gets back. I hope he's okay.

Befor i go oggees that there pussy in the video aint no Shane. He dont look like he cood cut mor n a cord a day let alone pile it.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: JennieG
Date: 14 May 12 - 08:07 PM

Has Officer Jennifer Dana ventured an opinion on this matter? I believe Shane has the hots for her and might listen to her dulcet tones.

Cheers
JennieG (not Officer Jennifer, we just happen to share the finest female name in the whole universe)

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 12 - 08:07 PM

Thanks, Dale. That was a superb testimonial on your part. Gnu is lucky to have you guys around to keep him out of trouble when he's in the woods, eh? Say, you got any advice on how I can get a good pickup truck, but real cheap?

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 12 - 09:48 PM

Jennifer Dana has, as far as I know, never once spoken out on this forum. I think that shows good judgement and wisdom on her part. And self-discipline too. ;-)

If she were to agree to marry Shane, I think he'd be willing to do (or not do) just about anything...except maybe stop drinking and smoking.

There are limits, after all. A McBride MUST drink and smoke. It's in their genes. (And also their jeans.)

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 12 - 09:55 PM

WTF? Socks and underwear? And all my beer? And I have never seen a chicken picked so clean. I goota change the bedding. I hope there ain't no fleas.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 12 - 09:59 PM

Well, Shame looks 52 or even lots older, and he could use a fake name, and it's obviously something he'd do....

Police on swallowed diamond: This, too, shall pass

WINDSOR, Ontario (AP) -- Police in Canada say they are waiting for a man accused of stealing a $20,000 diamond and swallowing it to produce the evidence.

It has been nearly a week since Richard Mackenzie Matthews, 52, is alleged to have switched a diamond at Precision Jewellers in Ontario and swallowed the real one.

Matthews is being held at police headquarters while investigators wait for the 1.7-carat stone to pass through his system. Sgt. Brett Corey said Thursday that Matthews has gone to the washroom numerous times, but the diamond hasn't passed.

Corey says a recent X-ray showed a pair of fake diamonds, or cubic zirconiums, stuck in the man's intestines but because a diamond is translucent, it isn't visible. He says the suspect is eager to get the ordeal over with and is co-operating.

In the early stages, Corey says Matthews was being given laxative type foods, but is now being fed whatever he wants, in an effort to get things moving.

Matthews is charged with theft and breach of court conditions, and is also wanted on warrants in Toronto.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: gnu
Date: 19 May 12 - 10:28 PM

Sounds like a load of shit to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 May 12 - 08:19 PM

It ain't what they usually mean when they say "the family jewels", but it does sound like somethin' Shane would do.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Is this our Shane?
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 12 - 03:13 PM

On second thought it probably isn't Shame. Shame would have tried to eat the diamonds before swallowing them and thereby broken off the only partial tooth he has left.