BS: Why don't they invent....

Subject: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Bert
Date: 19 May 12 - 05:14 PM

Little stick on slave beepers that you can dial from your cell phone. I need one for my keys, one for my glasses, one for the can opener etc., etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 12 - 05:25 PM

But they have.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: gnu
Date: 19 May 12 - 05:37 PM

"With the Electronic Key Finder, you can locate lost keys behind walls, inside drawers, under bedding, and more. The Electronic Key Finder has a 120-ft. range and includes batteries."

Under bedding? Hmmmm...

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Ed T
Date: 19 May 12 - 05:42 PM

Keys found under bedding?
To a chastity belt?

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Bert
Date: 19 May 12 - 05:43 PM

But that only works for one item. I want to dial a different number for my glasses, and a number for the Phillips screwdriver and another for my hammer.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 19 May 12 - 07:16 PM

That's really rude, thinking you'll want to get hammered when you can see what you're screwing. ...

John

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: gnu
Date: 19 May 12 - 07:19 PM

TRIFECTA JiK! Bravo!

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 May 12 - 09:38 PM

Especially since you'll be screwing Phillip!

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 May 12 - 09:43 PM

The problem with that electronic key locator thingie is that the transmitter goes in your wallet. I misplace my wallet as often as I do my keys.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Gurney
Date: 19 May 12 - 11:48 PM

Why don't they invent plug-in memory for the brain. Then you could remember where you left your keys and stuff.

My memory-box is full. I can remember things from 50 years ago, but from this morning? Nooooo.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Amos
Date: 20 May 12 - 02:39 AM

The human mind is quite capable of setting up memory triggers for its own use; the best know of which is simple habit and order. The only time this gets out of whack for me is when reality disagrees because I put something in an unusual place.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 20 May 12 - 03:37 AM

One very real problem is the "thing" you keep in a very specific place and use only to do one thing. When you go to do the thing, the thing to do it with is right there where it's supposed to be. All you have to do is pick the thing up and do "the thing" that it's meant to do.

But you get interrupted.

When the interruption is settled, the "thing" is right there where it should be, but you can't remember whether you picked it up and did "the thing it does," and put it back where it belongs, or whether you were interrupted before you picked it up to do the thing it does and you still need to pick up the thing and do it's thing with it.

It gets worse and worse as using the thing for its thing becomes a habit, to the extent that doing the thing with your thing is nearly an unconscious act that barely registers as being done - or not.

But things could be worse, I suppose. Someday I might lose the thing, or maybe it will cease to even do its thing. (Or possibly, someone might fiddle with my thing and I won't be able to find another thing to do the same thing with and then I won't be able to do the thing it did.)

At least I can still think about my things with my customary remarkable clarity.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: frogprince
Date: 20 May 12 - 11:24 AM

At least they've invented a pill for when your thing gets so all you can do is hold it up and look at it. (Haven't had to resort to that quite yet.)

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 20 May 12 - 11:42 AM

A gadget warning of approaching socialists would be useful!!

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: GUEST,999
Date: 20 May 12 - 12:09 PM

Bonzo, behave.

Bert, you'll be fooked if you misplace your phone.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Bert
Date: 20 May 12 - 01:25 PM

No 999, I'll do what I always do, get Tree to call me.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: GUEST,999
Date: 20 May 12 - 01:27 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: David C. Carter
Date: 20 May 12 - 01:35 PM

My better half always knows where the car keys are.

If only she could find the CAR just as easily!

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Joe_F
Date: 20 May 12 - 01:53 PM

Keyboards on which all the keys arbitrarily locatable -- either in hardware by sticking them onto a plate, or in software by assigning them positions on a tablet.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Bert
Date: 20 May 12 - 06:45 PM

...Keyboards on which all the keys arbitrarily locatable... I think that they are in Linux.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 May 12 - 12:38 PM

You can assign a character to a different key in Windows. It gets tedious to assign a lot of characters to different keys, but can be done. It's simpler if you assign to an Alt+key than making just a single key print something different. You can asign whole sentences or paragraphs to a single Alt+key fairly easily.

You can also choose from more than a hundred different keyboard layouts by setting to one of the keyboard layouts that's standard for a different language. Purchase of the "foreign keyboards" is generally only easy if you live in (or go to) a place where the language is fairly common; but probably could be arranged elsewhere.

On most current keyboards, the "key caps" can (at least in principle) be removed and replaced and most of them are interchangeable as long as they're the same size as the one they replace. Replacing one that falls off with a new cap works better than just moving them, since prying them off and putting them back on sometime "loosens the grip." (When a keycap falls off, you can usually snap it back on if it's not obviously broken; but you should expect it to come off again fairly soon.)

You could paint them with Whiteout or an acrylic paint pen and (when it's fully dry) write your own characters on them with a "sharpie."

(Ugly is fine, when it's easier and it works.)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: saulgoldie
Date: 21 May 12 - 03:35 PM

Phillips screwdriver? One shot of vodka, and one shot of milk of magnesia, of COURSE!

Um, Bert, call me OCD, if it floats your boat. But I ALWAYS put my keys, glasses, and bottle opener in THE SAME PLACE, every time, allthetime. Also, guitar, checkbook, dayplanner, pipelighter, car, house, and best girl. No exceptions. Ever. (Well, maybe best girl. She do move around. Has a mind of her own.) So really, I only have one place to look for [whatever]. Period.

Saul

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Becca72
Date: 21 May 12 - 03:40 PM

If you can't remember where you put your keys, glasses, hammer, etc how the HELL are you going to remember what number to call to find each one???

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: GUEST,999
Date: 21 May 12 - 03:50 PM

I'm with Saul on this. I too always put things like that in the same place: the house. Each day is a new adventure.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: gnu
Date: 21 May 12 - 03:50 PM

Assign them names. "Call keys."

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 21 May 12 - 07:29 PM

If asked that question, Edison would say "Why don't YOU?

'Sa good way to make a buck or six, if you get it right.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 May 12 - 07:38 PM

Don T

Yeah, but as soon as you looked like you might actually get it done, Edison would file a patent on it in his own name.

(Like all the great inventors.)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Joe_F
Date: 21 May 12 - 08:48 PM

Bert et al.: I didn't say assignable, I said locatable. I can reassign the keys of my Kinesis ad lib. What I want is to move the keys around in space, to allow for the relative lengths of my fingers, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Bert
Date: 22 May 12 - 05:21 AM

Sorry Joe_F. That is a difficult one, I can't think of an easy way to accomplish it.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Allan C.
Date: 22 May 12 - 06:23 AM

Why don't they invent self-tuning banjos, guitars, autoharps, etc.?

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Bert
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 07:24 PM

Alan I seem to remember seeing something like that. A kinda box that you fit over the tuning machines. I guess it didn't catch on 'cos I saw it on a discount site some time ago on the web.

I just saw this on the BBCnews website.

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 07:36 PM

Gibson has invented a self-tuning guitar.

No-one knows how to tune a banjo.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 07:46 PM

A poligraph that you have to hook up to to post shit on a computer... Kinda like one of those machines that won't let yer car start if you have been drinking... Th4e poligarph would on the computer would do the same thing... It would prevent your post from posting if you are lying...

Yup, I'd love to see one of them...

And how about pocket poligraph that you wear and when you lie it lights up and reads for everyone to see, "This moron is lying"...

Yup that/those are my inventions...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 07:56 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 07:57 PM

I don't like your invention, Bobert.

>;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 09:30 PM

Tourist shops throughout the US (but perhaps mainly in the Ozarks) have stocked Bullshit Grinders for decades. It's been a while since I've seen one for sale, since I don't do much touristing any more; but you should be able to order your own - or plans - somewhere on the web.

Unfortumately they have best effect in face-to-face situations, although one might find a use for one if they have a web cam on at chat sessions.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Jun 12 - 09:39 PM

Well, gn-ze... I didn't put a lot of thought into it...

How about a sex box??? Put your quarter in it, step inside and it screws yer brains out???

No, I didn't put much thought into that one either...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jun 12 - 03:44 AM

Buy lots of mobile phones and attach one to each object that you are likely to lose. When you find something is missing then phone the appropriate number from any of the many phones you have lying around.

DC

Subject: RE: BS: Why don't they invent....
From: Elmore
Date: 09 Jun 12 - 03:45 PM

A billboard that says " before you kill the wife and kids and shoot yourself, just shoot yourself."