BS: In Hell

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 28 Sep 13 - 01:19 AM

I am sorry, gnu, that I seem to have offended you. It's just that I thought (per your responses to previous jokes I made in other threads) that you would be willing to be in my comedy troupe. But I meant no offense, sincerely.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 26 Sep 13 - 08:55 PM

There are chocolate chip cookies in heaven, all of which taste like they were baked by my sister Kathy. And plenty of cold milk.

In hell the cookies are burnt and the milk is warm and sour. And the "Cruel Mother" sounds like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6jrI9fIFZY&sns=em

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Don Firth
Date: 26 Sep 13 - 04:39 PM

No cookies in heaven!?

There has to be chocolate chip cookies or it can't possibly be heaven!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 25 Sep 13 - 05:02 PM

I'm sure you're right Suzy, no laundry needed in heaven! I'm determined to get there one day!

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 25 Sep 13 - 03:52 PM

Eliza, don't be silly. There's no hardware or software in heaven. All communication is telepathic - words, images, music. So obviously, there are no irons either. Garments never become soiled or wrinkled in the first place so there is no need for washing or ironing.

In hell, we must do the devil's clothes and those of his entourage. Everything must be washed and pressed, much of it dry cleaned! The devil is very meticulous, has clean fingernails and smells good. He is very handsome. Trust me, he could never get people to do half the shit he gets them to do if he had eyes like that fiend in Rosemary's Baby.

And yes, the Morris dancers are in heaven because in heaven there is such entertainment. They are bloody drunken fools, dirty and sweaty and inclined to beat down anyone who threatens their turf. They are not at all as well behaved as people think nowadays. That's a very toned down version of their antics.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 24 Sep 13 - 08:44 AM

Musket, that's the voice of The Devil speaking! I shall ignore it. All Morris dancers are up in Heaven waving their hankies at the Lord.
Down here live all Heavy Rock performers and Elvis fans.
I forgot to mention that in Hell there are always piles of ironing to be done, whereas up there the angels do it for you...

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Musket evolving slowly
Date: 24 Sep 13 - 06:04 AM

Odd? The Morris dancers are all down here.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 24 Sep 13 - 05:10 AM

Down here, computer screens freeze every couple of minutes and sites won't accept the password. Mailer daemons refuse to send emails. Spam appears in incredible quantities, and adverts for viagra and nubile maidens offering strange and dubious services abound. Odd rectangles appear on the screen from unknown persons wishing to become a close friend. Cries for help from faraway Nigerians in financial difficulties rend the heart and tempt one to divulge all Bank details.
Up there in Heaven, Broadband speeds exceed the speed of light. All and any passwords are acceptable. No Cookies are allowed. Downloads complete in the blink of an eye. One can watch endless Morris dancing on Youtube. Sigh. I do so wish I could get in.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 24 Sep 13 - 04:04 AM

And no trumpets on account of that Gabriel thing. Scares the hell out of these demons.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 23 Sep 13 - 05:33 AM

And no chocolate

:-(

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Musket nodding
Date: 23 Sep 13 - 04:10 AM

I failed the f%#?€*!! entrance exam again.

Of course, the worst in others brings out the worst in ourselves. Doesn't make tackling nasty people head on wrong though. The worst you can do is engage in point conceding debate. It just encourages them by some weird form of respectability they see for their more odious comments.

Hell is nurturing and promoting hate.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 23 Sep 13 - 03:45 AM

Additionally, down here in Hell people post ghastly vituperative and cruel things, including racism, homophobia, personal insults and even (gasp!) words beginning with F. They post comment after comment liberally sprinkled with capital letters, deliberately designed to hurt and offend. They have ding-dong spiteful battles with eachother until all concerned are thoroughly apoplectic. Hell is like that - brings out the very worst in people. But in Heaven, people post interesting and contibutory comments with nary a barb. Ideas are aired and shared with politeness and respect. Even anger is expressed maturely and with restraint. That's why I'm still trying to pass the Exam to get in!

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 22 Sep 13 - 07:06 PM

You bet. I didn't say it but I was thinking it :-)

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Musket sad
Date: 22 Sep 13 - 12:46 PM

Plenty of bloody banjos though...

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 22 Sep 13 - 10:40 AM

Not only that Eliza, but they also have those substitute gym teachers who always order up a nice "friendly" game of dodge ball. Oh yeah. I just love getting whacked in the head by overly aggressive classmates, don't.

No Bonnie, there are no harps here (no chocolate either)- lots of fiddles however.

http://youtu.be/Fi13NxmjqLI

And do you know what the demons love to do best with their fiddles? Ruin beautiful old tragic English ballads by completely destroying the mood. There are no concertinas either.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 22 Sep 13 - 06:06 AM

... hey you guys ... anybody seen my harp?

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 22 Sep 13 - 04:51 AM

In Hell there are also dozens of hirsute female gym teachers standing beside improbably tall vaulting horses. One second's hesitation and withering scorn pours forth. Next come the Aerobics Exercise Instructors with voices like foghorns, "And stretch! And lunge!" Then the Cross Country Run... in the pouring rain. I'm studying like anything for the Heaven Exam.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Musket being patriotic
Date: 22 Sep 13 - 02:03 AM

Oy Goofus! Don't be so sure. Regarding that boat load of tea. Goods remain property of the seller till paid for in full.

Yeah I doubt this Jesus dude did say anything about being gay. Leave that to more clever people like Akenhateon.

For Goofus to be insulting he would have to be taken seriously. Never been known. He's harmless enough. I wouldn't let my dog play with him if he were otherwise. My little boyhhad a traumatised past in the hands of dog racing trainers and so I am very fussy about who he can be with. Mind you after three years he has stopped flinching when you go near him now and his tail isn't between his legs when you call him. Slow progress I suppose.

Hell is where you are kept in line by dog racing trainers.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 21 Sep 13 - 01:37 PM

And btw, there are lots of Neo-Conservative and Tea Party Republicans here for taking the food out of the mouths of poor people. Jesus said, "That's a número uno no-no." Didn't say anything about being gay though.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 21 Sep 13 - 01:32 PM

Yeah, all the food in hell is quite over done as you can imagine- and we don't have this angel either:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebJcyNA81fg&sns=em

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 21 Sep 13 - 12:22 PM

In Hell there are no crumpets dripping with butter, no chips covered in HP sauce, no large Camembert cheeses ripened to melting point. There are only low-calorie salads, non-fat yoghurts and endless Ryvita. So I'm trying to pass the exam to get into Heaven.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 20 Sep 13 - 04:00 PM

It wasn't supposed to be that insulting to him, at all..he's doing such a nice job of that, without my 'help'...

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Jeri
Date: 20 Sep 13 - 03:55 PM

What's funny about the cutesy name is there actually is a (non-active) member named "Muskrat". It's not all that insulting, but if that's all ya got...

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 20 Sep 13 - 03:46 PM

Muskrat: "Hard to tell when trying to get the colonies to understand plain English, what?"


Hard to tell when trying to get the English to understand that we're not your colonies!... what?

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 20 Sep 13 - 11:11 AM

Hi Ian!

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Musket musing
Date: 20 Sep 13 - 06:30 AM

Perhaps that's why when trying to work out the logic in your posts (historical, I gave up ages back) I have a desire to lick my own arse.

Or is it ass?

Hard to tell when trying to get the colonies to understand plain English, what?

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 20 Sep 13 - 02:49 AM

Muskrat: "You have been the only one I would normally let near my greyhound."

I get along, .... I maybe be a son of a bitch!

(It's 'genetic').

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,musket monitoring
Date: 20 Sep 13 - 02:35 AM

Yeah very rude. It's a pity she didn't have Akenhateon to insist you were kicked off Mudcat.org for insulting a lady.

Hell is a professional Scottish idiot giving you the benefit of his ill judged opinion.

Anyway I have been on this thread. Forgot to put my name, that's all.

If I take the BTEC Level II in queer bashing I might even qualify to post some more on this thread. All the usual suspects are here I notice. Really Goofus, I won't let you play with the good professor if you keep mixing with the wrong crowd. You have been the only one I would normally let near my greyhound.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 20 Sep 13 - 01:14 AM

Suzy, Yes, but you can......

A side note..true story....When I was in L.A., I had a recording studio, and had several acquaintances who were monsters in the industry...One was Steve, who in 1980, was going to New York on some related business. It was just about less than a month before Christmas, and while he was out there, he had four 'Double Fantasy' albums, that I gave him, John Lennon's last...and he was going to get them autographed for me, so I could give them out to certain friends, for Christmas...but in between the time he got him to sign them, and returned to L.A., John had been shot, and died....so, I only got one of them...which I still have, to this day......
Never been played, autographed, 'Double Fantasy'.

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 20 Sep 13 - 12:43 AM

Precisely. But I have never gotten over John Lennon's death.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfWVYuUWkyA&sns=em

Guess that makes me a groupie. Oh bloody hell.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 19 Sep 13 - 10:26 PM

Ahhh!
I just love youtube. You never know what you're gonna find.

Cheers!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 19 Sep 13 - 08:37 PM

I just love youtube. You never know what you're gonna find.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8hLYg6bOxA&sns=em

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 19 Sep 13 - 02:24 AM

Good luck...

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=12boBhA_Mmo

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 18 Sep 13 - 10:27 PM

Suzy Sock Puppet: "No GfS, you don't get it. It's BECAUSE you hate politics that they make you stay here!"

Nope..not at all....politics are just people trying to have a voice...it's the corruption that gives that voice over to using it to lie.
..and that's the truth....I'm out of here!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 18 Sep 13 - 07:46 PM

All I smell is fire and brimstone. You must have a more acute sense of smell. Must be you don't smoke.

No I didn't misunderstand you at all. Sweet of you to concern yourself. We seem to be pals :-)

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: akenaton
Date: 18 Sep 13 - 05:41 PM

I don't much care where he is Suzy......he's away....and so's the smell! :0)

Hope you didn't misunderstand my last post...'twas a bit rude.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 18 Sep 13 - 12:18 PM

No GfS, you don't get it. It's BECAUSE you hate politics that they make you stay here!

Ake, any sign of Muskrat? I had originally assumed that since you came down here, he must have gone there but now I 'm not so sure that that's the way it works so keep looking.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 18 Sep 13 - 09:38 AM

Ake, Ya' mean Suzy is still someone else????

Yikes!....Maybe the 'Man from U.N.C.L.E.'????!!!??

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: akenaton
Date: 18 Sep 13 - 03:07 AM

"Fuck Suzy sock puppet"?......Nah, that's just a bit too weird, even for me!........but if it rocks your boat?!!

I think one would have to be experienced in that sort of thing?

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: akenaton
Date: 18 Sep 13 - 02:59 AM

Very perceptive, Sanity.
I think I know who SJL is.....but I ain't sayin' nuthin'. :0)

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Sep 13 - 02:25 AM

Fugitive from sanity will be OUR fate in hell.

He may even be allowed to bring his guitar and shrink couch Lucifer help us!

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 16 Sep 13 - 06:43 PM

Suzy, Naw..They're kicking me out! I heard that the devil was a 'liar from the beginning'....and I'm not into politics!

BTW, I THOUGHT you were SJL!!..your sarcastic fairness gave you away!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 16 Sep 13 - 04:27 PM

So Suzy...I take it you are expecting a 'comfortable stay'....hmmm,,do ya' think there will be a giant screen there with an eternity of Mudcat posts???..trolls and all??..even Demon-crats? and Repugnant-cans?? defending the 'devil's lair'??

None will deliver you from that fate I described earlier!!....Matter of fact, while you're convulsing from being seasick and having lockjaw at the same time..and you're writhing on the ground....both parties will hold you down, and shove shit in your ears, nonstop.....oh wait, they already do that here!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: number 6
Date: 16 Sep 13 - 01:30 PM

I am relaxed ... as I stated previously I think this thread is rather funny ... just because I think the Madcat is somewhat moronic because it is populated by such fictional characters and miserable grouchy people doesn't meant I have my shorts all tied up in a knot ... or is it nought ... anyway, oh well.

LH ... I know what you mean ... ;)

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Sep 13 - 01:21 PM

No 6 nobody knows nothing.So please Relax .
   As for Daemon i remember reading that it was our hidden intelligence,"it that knows" if you like.So if that was true i suppose if you don't listen to your Daemon you could be a Demon.Busy now so 6 you can relax i wont engage again on this.It is a shame though because if we all learned to stay neutral/calm as facts are displayed/discussed things become easily apparent,see i stupidly thought you were going to try understand this subject.What if it happens to one of your children where are you going to send them.Youtube is full of kids trying to open their pineal and getting energetically confused by all sorts of garbage.Check out Benny Hinn(sp) on yt see what he is doing with his knowledge of this.Anyway i will never post here again on this subject so relax 6 hehe n
   peace

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 13 - 01:17 PM

There are real people named Suzy Sock Puppet???

Hey, Number 6, it's not that I take on the personality of a "monkey" (he's an APE, dammit!)....it's that I have fun with a fictional character I've created in the person of a Chimpanzee, just as Walt Kelly had fun with fictional characters in the persons of an opossum, an alligator, an owl, a dog, a skunk, a porcupine, etc....in his famous comic strip "Pogo".

Chongo serves the same purpose. He is a character intended to satirize and point up various human foibles, strengths, and weaknesses in a humorous fashion, and thus to enable the creation of some political and social satire. As such, he takes on a life of his own in people's minds after awhile, just as Pogo did. I see nothing wrong with doing that.

If I were also a great artist, like Mr Kelly, I'd do a Chongo comic strip, but as it is, I am limited to simply writing about him.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Suzy Sock Puppet
Date: 16 Sep 13 - 12:55 PM

"If a fit of anger takes a person over and causes them to do violence, then they have been possessed by something stronger than they know how to deal with at that time."

True, true. LH

This thread IS silly and stupid. It's nonsense actually. Just trying to have a little fun. All animals play you know. Monkeys too.

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: Megan L
Date: 16 Sep 13 - 12:26 PM

Hell in a handcart

Oh we all went to Hell in a handcart
And Little Hawk was left the one to shove
But he go so fed with all their barkin
That he left them all and headed up above

St Peter met him at the gates of heaven
Said You know my son your duty lies below
But when told just who was on that handcart
St Peter said poor boy straight in you go.

They sat and argued ower who should be pushing
An Irishman of strength they thought would do
But he got so tired of all the bitchin
He turned right round and said GNIGHTGNU


16th September 2013 17.25

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: number 6
Date: 16 Sep 13 - 12:07 PM

ooops, something happened .... me again ... just to put a completion on my post above ... anyway, regardless of what I said,I think this thread as stooopid and silly as it is .... but, is rather funny.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: In Hell
From: number 6
Date: 16 Sep 13 - 12:04 PM

Ok ... the Madcat can be somewhat moronic lately ... with those that take on the personalities of rednecks, monkeys, Travis Bickle ... some are just plain grouchy or miserable ... and then there are those that lie about what they have done and how they are experts on just about everything ... yes LH, I guess it is rooted one some sort of 'complex'.