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BS: Chili & Concrete Party...
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Subject: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Bobert Date: 25 Oct 13 - 08:43 PM Guess it might be a little late but... ...ya'll invited to a "chili and concrete" party tomorrow... Chili and Italian bread - with lots of butter and garlic - at noon and concrete mixin' and finishin' afterwards... Oughtta be a couple three hours and the concrete be done... Anyone want in, come on down, up or over... B;~) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: ChanteyLass Date: 25 Oct 13 - 09:17 PM I'm good with chili but not with concrete! And I live too far away! What are you making with the concrete? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Bobert Date: 25 Oct 13 - 09:32 PM Oh... A concrete slab... Yeah, seems that I gotta a problem with a pressure tank under the house... Too much condensation so I'm gonna build a shed on the outside of the house and bring the pressure tank out... Sorry ya' ain't gonna make it, C-Lass... We made the chili today and it is righteous... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Rapparee Date: 25 Oct 13 - 09:46 PM Bobert, I'll be happy to come and help. Please send your private jet and advise me of the time of its arrival. Thanks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 26 Oct 13 - 12:21 AM Bobert's Chili Contest and slab pouring event: (Best, if read aloud, to someone, on the first time through....next best, is to read it aloud, to yourself...) They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a Bobert's proposed concrete slab. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecard notes from the event: ***************************************************** CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI... Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. ***************************************************** CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI.. Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. ***************************************************** CHILI # 3 - FRED'S BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI... Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting drunk from all of the beer. ***************************************************** CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC... Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? ***************************************************** CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER... Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. ***************************************************** CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY... Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb! Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems incline d to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my rear-end with a snow cone. ***************************************************** CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI... Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. ***************************************************** CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI... Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 - No Report Regards, GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Bobert Date: 26 Oct 13 - 08:46 AM LOL, GfinS... B;~) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: frogprince Date: 26 Oct 13 - 08:53 AM We have a franchise eatery (Culvers) nearby that has concrete cake as one on their specialties. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 26 Oct 13 - 10:12 AM Thank you, thank you, thank you, Guest from Sanity. Two days ago I sampled pizza at a precious eatery in Kansas City. I said, "This is burning my mouth," and the friends said "??" They couldn't even detect the heat. Am I unusually sensitive, or have they burned up their taste buds? I don't suppose we'll ever know. When I make chili, I put in a little chili powder and some cocoa, adding these ingredients just before it's time to serve. At a chili supper, mine is the first pot to be empty. We call it Great Northern Chili. Bobert, I hope your folks and your neighbors rally round to help with the slab. Are you going to play them some blues? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Bobert Date: 26 Oct 13 - 10:18 AM I've already played 'um some blues... Looks like it'll be 5 of us and all the rest of 'um are big boys, 'cept 165 pound me... I'll try to keep up but I think I'll be more the supervisor... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Pete Jennings Date: 26 Oct 13 - 10:29 AM Damn I missed this thread yesterday! I'd have got my PA to tell the pilots to get the big jet ready... Mind you, I'm only 136lbs dripping wet so I might not have been much help. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: GUEST,ED T Date: 26 Oct 13 - 10:47 AM Was that type of function suspected to be the last function Jimmy Hoffa went to? :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Greg F. Date: 26 Oct 13 - 12:57 PM Jeez, Bobert-- & here I thought you were starting up a new political group in opposition to the Dems & Republiclowns, that would champion the rights of Hispanics & other immigrants aswell as the rehabilitation & repair of the national highway & bridge infrastructure... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: ChanteyLass Date: 26 Oct 13 - 01:49 PM Okay, Bobert, I'm relieved to read that you are not serving chili on concrete. Good luck with your project. GfromS, so funny! I love hot, spicy foods and often tell the people at restaurants that I want my food that way. Sometimes when I order I also say, "And bring Tobasco to the table with my meal just in case it is not spicy enough." When I go to restaurants that I know have only a kind of hot sauce that also contains sugar, I bring my own! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Bobert Date: 26 Oct 13 - 04:42 PM The party's over... The chili was righteous and we finished the pour in right at 2 hours... I figured 42 80-pound bags but about half way thru it looked like we were going to be shy a few bags so while they continued mixing an pouring I went for 6 more bags... Ended up only needing one more... My grand-daughter, age 12, is here this weekend and she'll help me float it out one or two more times before dark... BTW, the chili didn't need any more heat... It was right at hot-lite which is the way I like it... I'm tired... And a tad sore... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 26 Oct 13 - 06:11 PM What a scam! ...bring chili and do my slab! While you guys get to bathe in the luxury of my company!!..Wait a minute..you guys pour..I'm gonna' play this here gee-tar! Oh, and that will be $10.00 admission to the party! GfS P.S. Must have been a social worker! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Bobert Date: 26 Oct 13 - 06:19 PM Well, let's do a little math here: One guy owns the horse farm I have to drive thru to get to our house... I mow the grass around his horse barn every week and tend their 7 horses when they are away... Plus, they borrow my tractor to rake their arena... Another guy has a Volkswagen and his brother an old Volvo... They use my garage to work on their cars and they store stuff here... The last guy uses my tractor at least 10 hours a week... One hand washes the other... I don't ask much of my homies and when I do they can't wait to chip in... Oh, had the chili for supper (burp) and it was just as tasty as it was for lunch... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 27 Oct 13 - 04:37 AM I'd vote fer 'em. RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: maeve Date: 27 Oct 13 - 07:13 AM Congratulations, Bobert. I'm glad the pour went well. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Wesley S Date: 27 Oct 13 - 10:15 AM Chili with Italian bread??? A travesty. Chili should be eaten with cornbread or biscuits. I have spoken.... Unless of course you're having Frito pie. Fritos on the bottom of the bowl, top with chili, then cheese, onions or sour cream. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Bobert Date: 27 Oct 13 - 10:40 AM I know, I know, Wesley... I just couldn't have asked the P-Vine to make cornbread, too... About 8:30 last night my grand-daughter, who is with us this weekend, decided she had to put her name on the slab so I dressed up warm and we took a flashlight out and she did the deed... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 27 Oct 13 - 12:34 PM You couldn't ask P-Vine to make corn bread????? Well either she she was a supervisor at the social worker's office, or you should have just picked up the crap in the yard for her, before you mowed!(Remember that one?) Oh, and WHOSE tractor?? So let's see..P-Vine buys the house, and tractor, needs a slab poured, so to keep from being henpecked for sittin' around all day, playing guitar, and yakking at your computer with your Mudcat buddies, Which sometimes leaves you mumbling and dribbling out, under the breath frustrations, you call your buddies over to pour, while you stir the chili, and play guitar, and keep your Mudcat buddies posted.....hmmm, seems like a good scam to me!! Ya' should have been a social worker!!! ...........next............. Wink, GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Bobert Date: 27 Oct 13 - 02:26 PM I like your scenario better than the one that actually played out yesterday... I did everything that everyone else did... Plus, I had hand excavated the site, built the form, installed all the re-rod and the floor drain... As for the chili??? I am the vegetable gardener and I grew the tomatoes, green peppers and corn that was in it... I know you think I'm some kinda slacker, GfinS, but there is a reason why I only weigh in at a buck sixty-five... You follow me around for a couple days and you'll be looking at your next heart attack... B;~) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 27 Oct 13 - 03:38 PM Bobert: "I know you think I'm some kinda slacker, GfinS, but there is a reason why I only weigh in at a buck sixty-five..." Oh, so you're claiming 'wimp-dom'?? ..and, I never had a heart attack....but I did have a quad bi-pass...and you know what came out of it?....Five hospitals in four states are using my music for cardiac-therapy for healing people...and I gave it to them to use.....for free!!!...and why not? They did a great job, and my cardiologist talked to me about my recovery was .'nothing short of miraculous' and the healing effects of my music....so, I let them have it. No problem.(but then, YOU always dug my taste in music...therefore, you are right...I did cut you some slack) ...now if only you could get your head out of politic's ass... but that requires more study of music...along with a fierce dedication to practice, unmercifully!!..in LOVE! Politics you can make excuses for.....but not a clam!! We love you, guy.............. ...just stop being so DUMB! Wink!! GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Bobert Date: 27 Oct 13 - 03:47 PM "Don't Bogart that joint, my friend..." B??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Wesley S Date: 27 Oct 13 - 09:24 PM "I grew the tomatoes, green peppers and corn that was in it..." Oh dear God - you put bell peppers in your chili?? Now Bobert y'know I love your hillbilly ass but someone needs to teach you what goes in - and more importantly - what to leave out of - a good bowl of chili. Next you'll be telling me that you put in mushrooms too. Have we ever had a Mudcat chili cook-off? Because someone needs some schoolin'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chili & Concrete Party... From: Bobert Date: 28 Oct 13 - 09:19 AM Well, heck yeah the P-Vine put mushrooms in it... But not a lot... Her chili is blue ribbon chili so bring the cook-off on, Wesley... B;~) |
