BS: Complete Knobhead club

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Stu
Date: 08 Apr 14 - 08:25 AM

"Nothing compared to Brazil Nuts (1000 times more radioactive than any other food)"

Only Brazilian ones, which contain trace amounts of uranium. Ones grown elsewhere aren't.

It's always wise to check your nuts.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Teribus
Date: 08 Apr 14 - 08:13 AM

Nothing compared to Brazil Nuts (1000 times more radioactive than any other food)

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Apr 14 - 07:55 AM

Bananas are naturally slightly radioactive, more so than most other fruits, because of their potassium content and the small amounts of the isotope potassium-40 found in naturally occurring potassium.The banana equivalent dose of radiation is sometimes used in nuclear communication to compare radiation levels and exposures.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 09:52 PM

If you have those little toothpicks with the cellophane streamers holding each of the quarters of the club along with crispy bacon and tender fresh roast turkey, then I whole heartedly support it.

I can simply pick the bits knobhead off of it and leave those on my plate.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 08:51 PM

The Association of the Dead

This club, known as Uttar Pradesh Mritak Sangh, is not one you want to join. The only people allowed to be a part of it are those in a province of India who have been declared dead… when they are still alive. And not like they were on life support and almost didn't make it alive. These club members haven't been sick or injured or anything like that. They have simply been declared dead through forged letters and documents so other people can steal their lands. This has happened to thousands of people in the area over the last 40 years and still goes on today.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 08:42 PM

Dear Mr EdT
Of course it is. We cannot afford to encourage our Chinese production staff with unobjective meat rations, lest it inflame their senses and encourage independent thinking. And of course it is pot-free, we encourage the use of opium.
And lest anyone get the right idea, the Staff is just an overgrown Club. It is usually divided in four so we have the appropriate number of quarter staffs. Or for musicians around here, SATB staves.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 07:43 PM

Will it accept members pre-cleared through the Women's Institute?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 07:38 PM

Is it a vegetarian, pet free, smokd free club?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 07:17 PM

We are pleased to quote a price of £32000 (excluding VAT). Delivery in 6 months.
Please pay on acceptance of quote to my account at the Union Bank of Nigeria.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 06:48 PM

I'd like to order a pint!

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 04:41 PM

"I hate to raise a seious point of order"

I for one appreciate that.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST,Triplane
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 04:29 PM

I hate to raise a seious point of order
but will members with hoods be allowed to attend glans gatherings.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 09:37 AM

Okey, (I resist the tempation to call you dokey).

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Apr 14 - 09:24 AM

You are wright, rite, right about that.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 04:41 PM

Whoops - Sorry. Did you know there are three way to spell rain, er reign, er rein...

Difficult sentence to write! Glad you knew what I meant better than my spull chickker anyway :-)

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 04:36 PM

"If anyone wishes to take the reigns.."

Become king?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 01:30 PM

The Cutty Dong (said Moulder to Minor)
Greenknobs (sorry Henry VIII but you did have one)
Knobheading Town (Nottamun)

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 11:47 AM

Hah! Gives rise to a whole lot of potential songs for the Club Repertoire.

My Old Man's A Knobhead.
Like a Rhinestone Knobhead
O Knobs of Scotland
Wichita Knobhead

There must be others...

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: gnu
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 11:44 AM

Here's a folksong bewailing
The old Knobhead Club failing
Nowadays it ain't the same
The trolls herein ain't got game

Carry on a tune with that?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 11:17 AM

We need a folksong bewailing the good old knobhead days. Things nowadays just aren't quite the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 11:09 AM

Maybe a thread to commemorate the demise of the CKC?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 10:23 AM

Actually, I have just been reading some of the other threads and I think there is only one person who really belongs in here. And no-one else would want to be in the same club. There are some wannabees but they occasionally show some modicum of sense. By that token I herewith wind up the CKC. Guest above, I was thinking of Komplete Knobhead Klub but someone else has used that acronym. All assets are to be returned to their donors. If anyone wishes to take the reigns. Be my guest.

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 10:04 AM

Is the Complete Knobhead Club associated with any other organizations? (I was thinking about the TMTAIDHTPTIABIIDWT Society and others of that ilk.)

What is the Club's official name?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 09:04 AM

."A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it."

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 08:45 AM

phrenology and the knobhead 

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Stu
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 08:37 AM

That'd be dwarrows then.

"Little dwarrows in your clothing
little dwarrows in your hair
little dwarrows up yer nostrils
little dwarrows everywhere."

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 08:27 AM

Adge Cutler wrote the wonderful song, The Champion Dung Spreader.

Dave, I toyed with dwarves but dwarfs looked better. Not being an ex Leeds Prof of medieval literature I shall bow to old JRR and your good Gnomish self.

The only song from Middle Earth I sing is The Song of the Ents. No dwarves, dwarfs or gnomes in that.

Or hobbits.

Or even elves.

Although the elves wrote it.

To this day I don't know who came up with the tune, I have been singing it for 35 years or so. A late friend sang it and I took it up following his untimely demise.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 08:13 AM

"The Scots have done things to sheep that no other people would do. Disgusting.

They made haggis out of 'em."

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 08:01 AM

"A shit flinger is one whom takes it upon themselves to fling shit at an object, person or just for the sake of it. Shit flinging originated it Croydon, England when a mental patient started the trend by flinging some shit at a nearby lamp post."

.'Wow did you see how far that shit went? That guys a real ace shit flinger.'

Urban dictionary

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 07:58 AM

"When I'm in love, I just can't shit".

Mudcat bound?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 07:44 AM

We tend towards the inseparable, my knob and I.

What a brilliant song title! Rather like "When I'm in love, I just can't shit".

:D tG

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 07:06 AM

I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have my knob as a member.

I wouldn't be a member of any club that wouldn't have my knob as a member. We tend towards the inseparable, my knob and I.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 06:56 AM

"All discussion prior to morning coffee, is senseless gibberish"

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 06:54 AM

"Tip of the day: don't try to put on a coat when it still has all the buttons done up.

Should Russians be allowed into the knobhead club, because they're lonely and they've got big guns (even when they don't work)."

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Will Fly
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 06:53 AM

I'm not joining.

I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have my knob as a member.

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 06:48 AM

"The dwarves are exceedingly strong for their height, but most of these were strong even for dwarves. In battle the wielded heavy two-handed mattocks..."

The Hobbit. The clouds burst.

So there you have it. Dwarves wave their mattocks about. Not their knobs. And don't let old JRR see you using the word dwarfs :-)

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: gnu
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 06:41 AM

The last of the Knobettes left a short while back. None of the ladies presently herein could make the team.

Greatest Gnomeknob... could I at least be on the cheerleading squad? Just being in the fan club sucks. They let anybody with $500 in fer gosh sake! Hmmmm...

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 06:05 AM

Should there be a ladies team?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Musket
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 06:01 AM

I have a preconceived mental image of gnomes carrying such weapons.



Or is that dwarfs?

As Gimli said, "No chance of success, high certainty of death, what are we waiting for?"

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 05:51 AM

Isn't a knobkerrie a sort of war club? I don't want this club to become a war club thank you!

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: gnu
Date: 06 Apr 14 - 01:17 AM

I gave a rather austere dissertation on another ongoing thread which deserves recitation herein...

Shhhh

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 07:06 PM

Can we have a celebration in Knobkerrie?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 06:10 PM

"what normal person would keep 16 invisible goats on their balcony?"

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 05:18 PM

One night down at The Last Saloon
A guy named Who met a gal named Whom.
Whom and Who, whom we've not met,
Well--Whom we did but not Who yet--
Were married and their wedding vows
Appended thus both then and now.

I am Who who Whom hath married;
I am Whom who Who hath wed;
We are they who think you knobheads
Outta let us get to bed.

The End

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 04:05 PM

""Excuse me, can I have my raised eyebrow back, please?""

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 03:56 PM

What do you call a Welsh goat farmer?

Bisexual...

Sorry.

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 03:49 PM

"What?
No, I won't do that.
Not for all the sheep in Wales".

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 03:40 PM

What?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 03:36 PM

I reserve the right to adjust the language as I see fit. I do this to teach balance and coordination and bleurblelurgh.I do say real things sometimes. Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

I'm good at talking.

Has anyone noticed that some girls never shut up?

Subject: RE: BS: Complete Knobhead club
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Apr 14 - 03:32 PM

Thought some of you might enjoy this. Tripped over it on the www.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
You mean to whom!