BS: Very hard things to do

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 05 Jul 14 - 03:34 PM

Actually, Eliza, I often just sit here. Like the man in the old Punch cartoon: "Sometimes I sits & thinks, and sometimes I just sits". I love doing nothing. The ability to do nothing for hours has always been a talent of mine. Not, as you know, that I never do anything. Sometimes I write things, or post on Mudcat. And do lots'n'lots of crosswords. Or read. But I honestly can sit by the hour doing nothing. I don't 'mope', mind. I just sit and think. Or just sit...

Early grave? I'm 82...

xX❤♥~Michael~♥❤Xx

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jul 14 - 04:17 PM

Sort-of thread drift back to the title, if not the opening post. I suspect many people have things they find very hard to do that almost everyone else in the world finds quite straightforward. In my case, I have a stammer. One consequence of this is that if don't start a conversation with someone straight away it becomes insurmountably difficult to talk to them. But if they talk to me, no problem. As good example of this goes back to university days. There was someone on a similar course to me that I spoke pretty much every day in the first year. Come the second, for some reason we didn't speak the first time I saw her at the start of the second year: maybe she was chatting with her friends and I didn't want to interrupt. Anyway, the result was was still saw each other almost every day but I was unable to speak to her till Christmas. I assume she thought she'd offended me so she didn't speak to me either. Come Christmas, she needed help with some course work and since no-one else was around she asked me - at which point I could talk to her again. This is not to be confused with shyness or being timid - I've presented lectures to rooms of 400+ without nerves. No, it is more of a terror that like I imagine people who are afraid of spiders feel.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,DMcG
Date: 05 Jul 14 - 04:19 PM

That's me, above. Bloomin' cookies.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 05 Jul 14 - 04:38 PM

Interesting Michael. I have a routine where, half an hour or so before I go to bed, and half an hour before I get up, I sit quietly and think and pray. I let my thoughts wander and I reflect on all sorts of things. It's a magical time for me. While I'm doing this, my husband is performing his Muslim prayers in the spare room. I was astonished to read the other day that, in an experiment, many people were unable to sit alone in a room for fifteen minutes before they became stressed and had to press the panic button to let them out! I suppose for many younger folk today, 'being still and sitting with oneself' is quite frightening. A very hard thing to do, in fact.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 05 Jul 14 - 06:01 PM

Bill, I love you for even considering these things : )

All of those things are SO hard to do, whether near people we love, or in a community.

I might amend that a good definition of 'hard to do' (but usually worth the effort) is anything that involves taking the High Road.

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,GUEST
Date: 05 Jul 14 - 07:40 PM

Staying on topic, apparently.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Jul 14 - 08:28 PM

For many, not gossiping, remaining positive and keeping a secret.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Jul 14 - 08:33 PM

Remembering the names of people, when it unexpectedly falls on you to introduce them to others.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Jul 14 - 11:59 PM

awww...Dani- that made my day! ♥♥♥

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bert
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 12:44 AM

Well, apart from wood turning, one of the hardest things to do here is to make any sort of comment about The EFDSS without getting half a dozen people jumping down your throat. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 01:30 AM

"Remembering the names of people, when it unexpectedly falls on you to introduce them to others."

Remembering people's names full stop!

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: bbc
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 01:43 AM

Classic thread drift, but fun to read. Can't think well enough to contribute, intelligently, right now. Just bored, not sleeping in the middle of the night.

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 03:25 AM

I could give Michael a run for his money in the sitting doing nothing stakes but I bow to the master when it comes to thinking nothing.

The last time I "retired" I was living alone and this time I have a Mrs Musket leaving me lists of jobs, plus a garden I thought too big when we bought it and still do... I think I have made a similar mistake if I am serious. Last time I became a chair of an NHS trust which should have kept me busy two days a week. Hah! And when the term came to an end I carried on full time in various roles interfering in health and social care. This time, I haven't given up a small teaching post at the medical school of a university on the basis it is only a couple of days a month.

Déjà vu beckons....

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 01:15 PM

TALKING NOTHING BLUES      


Well I looked from hall to the top of the stair,

I went to the cupboard but it was bare,

Nothing, nothing, nothing was there.

I turned around and scratched my face:

All this nothing all over the place!

In the carpets, on the chairs,

Kinda cramps my style.


A man on the footpath standing round
Spreading nothing all over the ground
I heard some passing people say
All this nothing gets in the way

Oughta be a law.



Well I thought I'd better lay in a supply,
So I went to the door some nothing to buy.
In the window a big display:
"We've got plenty of nothing today"

All vacumn packed.



Well the clerk at the store said "What'll it be?"
"Nothin', Nothin', Nothin' for me".
"How do you want it? Short or tall?
Fat or skinny? Large or small?"

I said "I'll take one with bows on -
Wrap it carefully, now, it's for a gift!"


Well this song was written with nothing in mind,
Nothing at all of any kind,
Nothing in it of any degree,
Nothing at all as you can see.

This song was aided by a poverty of intellect.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 01:24 PM

2) To know how to do something.. and to watch someone doing it wrong, and to refrain from comment.
2a)Being sure they are doing it wrong, and not just differently than you.

Watching someone do something wrong once isn't very hard if one looks at it as an opportunity for the other person to learn from their mistake.

What's hard is watching them do the same thing wrong repeatedly.

What's extra hard is watching them do it wrong while knowing that you are going to be the one who has to fix it.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 02:35 PM

Mastering the "teachable moment" so it doesn't come across as negative criticism.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 03:22 PM

That, SRS, is hard to do anytime... but unfortunately, some take any 'critique' as negative. About the only 'solution' I have found is to let them see you doing it correctly somehow... then let them think THEY thought of the right way.
(I learned this with a boss, many, many years ago. He would try to 'help' by messing with something that was part of my assigned job... and usually force me to take twice as long to fix it. So I would time it so he was wandering by, and be casually doing it right. Soon he was 'explaining' to others how it was done.)

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 03:32 PM

One thing I find very hard to do is give sincere praise and heartfelt appreciation without it coming across as patronising. That is truly an art. I like to thank people and to admire what has been done, but often I wonder if it's being seen as rather over-gracious. One answer is not to say anything in appreciation, but that seems socially mean and cold.
I know I personally like to be appreciated (who doesn't) but just how does one express it tactfully and respectfully?

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Musket
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 06:41 PM

I have been lucky in being in a position where I could praise people and give them recognition, but like Eliza, I have to try and ensure it doesn't come over as patronising.

I find it rather hard to swap styles. In business, I used to spend about a third of my time in The USA. When I was at the UK factory, it was almost expected that you would have a laugh, wind people up and get all shouty without any malice or ill intent. Mmm. In Illinois, such an approach had people wondering what they were doing wrong. Generally speaking, they took you more at face value. (A sales office in Boston however was far more like The UK in how the staff treated each other and I felt at home when I was there. Ditto Italy, whilst Germany - back to saying what you mean unequivocally.

I actually see that to a degree on Mudcat. It is rather fascinating, the face value comments on subjects where the invitation to make light of it is irresistible. After all, it is sometimes impossible to have an earnest chat when the other person makes no sense whatsoever.

Anyway, to bed. I have err.. oh. Nothing in the diary tomorrow.

Hang on. Yes. Debug the dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 07:08 PM

"""What's extra hard is watching them do it wrong while knowing that you are going to be the one who has to fix it."""....and, they will likely take, or be given, the credit for a job well done.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 08:03 PM

In the US "winding people up" is best reserved for those who know each other and share the same history & jokes. There's just too many different regions & cultural histories with different ideas of what passes for 'friendly' humor.

In the UK, it may be taken for granted by almost everyone, but it doesn't always translate well here.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Jul 14 - 08:21 PM

A good perspective, Bill D. While there are benefits to workplace humour, it is wise to tread carefully- there are clear dangers, that can only be safely overcome through a good knowledge of the people and culture involved.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 01:50 AM

Huh, and then some complain when I advise you to keep banging the rocks together...

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 02:20 AM

Chaffing and teasing, irony and 'having a laugh' is indeed the norm here in UK. I suppose it's what is known elsewhere as 'the British sense of humour'. Socially speaking, I reckon it's a way of actually blurring or softening direct criticism or disapproval. My friend Ronda had a German male friend, and when he visited from Munich he was horribly 'direct' in his utterances. He'd tell her, if she asked him for an opinion, that her dress wasn't attractive, that her figure was a bit fat, that the new sofa was a horrible colour etc. If she winced, he'd be amazed and say, "But...you asked me!" The humour approach backfires with Africans. If you 'joke' and say, for example, "Good grief! This spicy food will blow my head off!" they'll look horrified and reply quite seriously, "No, it is not dangerous. Please do not be afraid. Your head will not blow up." I often tell my husband that in the dark all you see of him is a set of white teeth coming towards you. He'll say, "But you know that the rest of me is there too!" It is very hard to make him understand one is joking or teasing.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Musket
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 03:40 AM

Something else that is hard to do..

Put a sticking plaster on your arse with the aid of a mirror.

I find white spirit cleans the sticky residue off the mirror...

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 03:43 AM

Musket!! Let me guess! You were debugging the dog and it bit your bum!!
LOL!!

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 11:35 AM

I'm just curious, Eliza... what does your husband... and by extension, many other Africans... find to be amusing? Do they tell 'jokes'? Are certain situations or malapropisms funny?

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 12:15 PM

Well, Bill, my husband loves an African series which he accesses on his laptop called 'Moussa le Malhonnete'. It appears to be about a man with an enormous, grotesque hernia (actually a football) under his baggy African trousers, who beats his wife and causes trouble in the village by suspecting other men of adultery with his wife. My husband laughs like a drain at all this. The actor who plays Moussa is actually a real hunchback into the bargain. It's knockabout slapstick stuff. The more screaming, abusive women come out of their huts to shout at Moussa, the more my husband laughs. I don't get it really, but it's funny to see him roaring his head off. He doesn't 'get' puns, verbal jokes or wordplay. He now finds some teasing funny as he's learned my ways after all these years, but it's heavy-going I can tell you! He has a bit of a pot belly now, and I ask him when the twins will be born. He giggles at that, but at first, he replied, "Men can't have babies, you know. How can this be twins?" Talk about comedians 'dying the death!'

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 04:07 PM

1, Remembering names.
2, Remembering faces.

Neither of those do I find particularly difficult.



3, Correctly matching names to faces.
. . . Ah, now you come to the tricky bit!

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 07:10 PM

The hardest thing for me to do is tell jokes at all. It is something that I am just not blessed with unfortunately when I try to deliver the punchline it just falls flat. It reminds me of a Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck cartoon when Daffy was trying to upstage Bugs and to entertain an audience and all he got was complete silence apart from the odd cricket chirping. That would be me! And yet in general conversation I can come out with something quite innocently that has people in fits of giggles.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 07:17 PM

Some folks find public speaking very hard to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 08:24 PM

Hurricanes with female names more deadly than male-named storms:

hard to figure out? 

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Jul 14 - 10:47 PM

Oh my, Eliza.. I think that his sense of humor, as a product of his culture, would strain MY ability to conduct a conversation with him. I now see why people who travel a lot, or become diplomats, need guide books and/or extensive training in order to avoid serious awkwardness.

What people find funny is a major way we have of selecting those we keep company with.

----------------------------

Patsy- one of my interests/hobbies is 'honing' jokes and puns...etc. I HATE "Readers Digest Condensed Jokes" where one hurries to get to a just barely recognizable punch line. One of the problems with the internet/WWW is that there are WAY too many people who post distorted, silly, weak forms of good jokes... which are then copied & pasted by hundreds of others until the original, elegant form is buried under a deluge of bad examples.

Here on Mudcat, Uncle Dave O. posts some of the best examples of good jokes..

When telling a joke 'live', one first needs to not be afraid to TELL it ... to build it up properly using the best phrases & 'set-up'... if one telegraphs the punchline or censors it, it can fall flat.

It is not a skill that one picks up over night...but it is well worth a bit of practice on a few select ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Guest - Lin
Date: 13 Jul 14 - 10:22 PM

1. Getting up early in the morning -which for me is not only a hard thing to do - but EXTREMELY hard thing to do. Thank goodness I don't work at a regular job anymore and only work one or two days a week so usually sleep until 11:00 AM or 11:30AM.   

2. Driving on a freeway - scared to do this anymore.

3. Going to a dentist for anything!

4. Having to listen to people talking on mobile phones wherever I go. Restaurants, buses, trains, grocery stores, malls. It is hard for me to listen to so many people (all ages) talking so loud on the mobile phones. For goodness sakes - even in the library.
Years ago, the librarians used to enforce it - when cell phones started to become popular but now they rarely ask the person not to talk on the phone, even inside the library unless the person is talking extremely loudly. Otherwise they ignore it and say they are not "the library police." :-(((

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 02:09 PM

awww.. dentists & freeway driving are a lot easier for ME than tolerating enduring impolite idiots on cell phones. Even harder is restraint when friends do it near me.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Jul 14 - 02:29 PM

-talk during a dental procedure

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 15 Jul 14 - 01:49 AM

Choking your chicken while tightrope walking.

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 14 - 07:21 PM

Putting up with the unaware.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Jul 14 - 07:24 PM

GfS.. I haven't heard that smarmy euphemism for 40 years. I could happily have gone 40 more.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Midchuck
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 02:21 PM

I go along with Ed T about starting the day without coffee, but I think the ultimate was one from the lamented H. Allen Smith, many years back:

"Trying to shove butter up an eel's ass with a red-hot awl."

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Ed T
Date: 16 Jul 14 - 02:43 PM

Have empathy for those who hurt a child.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 10:01 AM

One of the hardest things to do these days, in the UK, is to buy a newspaper (!) Go into any newsagents and the idiot in front of you in the queue is bound to be fiddling about with f**ing lottery tickets! And each transaction seems to take hours!! Is that because lottery players are extra-specially thick or the lottery is so complicated it takes an inordinate amount of time to either buy or to check a ticket?

Some people also seem to find it hard to buy a bus ticket. These days, every time I go into town, my heart sinks when I see a big queue at the next bus stop - because I know that each would-be passenger is going to need to arrange to pay his/her fare via banker's draft, negotiate an international peace treaty, translate the collected works of Aristotle from the original ancient Greek into Finnish and write a thesis on quantum indeterminacy. Meanwhile, I'm on the top deck screaming silently to myself: "Just get on the f***ing bus!!!!"

Is it just me?

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Musket
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 11:08 AM

I had to send a letter by special delivery yesterday, as solicitors still live in the last century.

First time I have been in a post office in years. Fuck me...   I was once in Russia and a bloke in the hotel joked that we taught the Russians how to queue.

Now 30 years later, I see the joke.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 12:28 PM

These stores need to take a lesson from the COSTCO warehouse stores in the US. They accept only cash, American Express or direct debit cards. The lines move VERY fast (unless someone who speaks poor English doesn't understand the rules... but that seems pretty rare, as it is all explained when you join.)

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: The Sandman
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 12:56 PM

getting the leg over anything other than a bicycle

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 12:59 PM

Know who all those people mentioned in the newspapers at the supermarket checkout are. Kim, Tom...I don't know who they are and I suspect that no one else will a couple of years hence.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Ed T
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 05:53 PM

Find a public payphone, or a telephone book.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jul 14 - 09:07 PM

... get a HUMAN at a public works phone #. They all have voice mail, and almost never return calls.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 Jul 14 - 04:30 AM

It used to be said "A Scout smiles & whistles under all difficulties".
Simultaneously smiling & whistling is very hard to do.

Subject: RE: BS: Very hard things to do
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 Jul 14 - 04:31 AM

It is very difficult to resist posting . . .


100