Shortest song ever

Subject: Shortest song ever
From: Leadbelly
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 03:30 PM

Because of best song ever I do believe it's time to complete the "ever" section by finding out which song in pop history was the shortest ever.
We did the longest some time ago so now let's start nominating the absolutely shortest.

Personally, I have no idea.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,#
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 04:20 PM

You Suffer by Napalm Death. Here is a link to it on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybGOT4d2Hs8

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Leadbelly
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 04:22 PM

Obviously a flop!

But I don't care because this was expected.

There are much more interesting threads on mudcat.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 04:45 PM

Shortest FOLK song ever would get more response

The gallant frigate Amphetrite sank for example

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: pdq
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 04:50 PM

The shortest "hit" song in U.S. history was "Little Boxes", the Malvina Reynolds song as sung by Pete Seeger.

Subject: RE: Shortest folk song ever
From: Leadbelly
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 04:58 PM

OK, let's try it this way.

Shortest folk song ever, folks.

Come on, I wanna go to bed.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,Mick Green (of Coblers Monday Shanty Group,
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 06:01 PM

I had a Tom Paxton CD on which he sang a song to commemorate a lost election. Musical intro followed by "shit". Shortest for me.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 06:06 PM

Unless anyone comes up with a one-word song with less than four letters, I think we have a winner.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,guest apw
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 06:24 PM

I'll sing of Spiro Agnew and all the deeds he's done

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 06:27 PM

Another Tom Paxton: The Ballad of Spiro Agnew


Intro: "i'll sing of Spiro Agnew, and all that he has done....."

follwed by silence.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 06:28 PM

damn, apw....you must have posted that while I was writing mine :-)

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 06:48 PM

Come hangman slack your urkggg!

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 06:58 PM

The Smothers Brothers did a longer version of the one BBCW cited above:

Hangman, hangman slack your rope,
Slack your rope,
Slack it 'fore I (choking sound).

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Don Firth
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 08:55 PM

Walt Robertson used to sing

"You stole my wife--
You horse thief!!"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Joe Offer
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 11:31 PM

Another cowboy-ish song:

I'm so lonesome in the saddle...
Since my horse died.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: michaelr
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 01:12 AM

Shortest conversation between two Scotsmen:


"Tay?"


"Nay."

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 02:43 AM

The shortest poem that I know is one entitled "A short poem upon the antiquity of fleas"
Adam had'em.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 03:26 AM

not the shortest but in the same vein

"Tom Pierce, Tom Pierce, Lend I your grey mare?
NO!"

"Have you ever seen a wild Goose?
NO!"

etc

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,Mike Yates
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 03:38 AM

"Come all ye, and go back again." Or, "My name it is Van Gough, lend an ear, lend an ear."

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: BobL
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 03:56 AM

"Unforgettable -
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Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,Mike Yates
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 04:11 AM

Woops! Should say that it should be "Van Goth" before MGM spots this mistake and gets onto his Hobbyhorse!

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 04:20 AM

Are you sure, Mike? Am I missing something? (or does your machine auto"correct"?)

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,Mike Yates
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 04:23 AM

On my screen I can see that I originally mis-spelt the name as Van Gough". I corrected this to "Van Goth" and that is what I can see on my second message.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: The Sandman
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 04:29 AM

I am surprised no one one has written a song one second long which is silence and then copyrighted it.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 04:33 AM

http://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/artists/vincent-van-gogh

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,Mike Yates
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 04:40 AM

Get it. It is Van Gogh. Never was any good at foreign languages!

Subject: Lyr Add: Lament for a Lost Election (Tom Paxton)
From: Jason Xion Wang
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 07:11 AM

Lament for a Lost Election
(Tom Paxton)

Shit!

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Jason Xion Wang
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 07:16 AM

By the way, John Denver "recorded" a "song" on his debut album called The Ballad of Richard Nixon, which is 10 second long silence. If I remember correctly, the credit was given to Tom Paxton as well.

Tom's ballad of Spiro Agnew contains 11 words.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 10:42 AM

In kind of real songs, Shel Silverstein did a train song of 1 verse, where "she got there on time and she did not crash" -

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Leadfingers
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 11:46 AM

I am sure the 'Lend an ear' is one of Les Barkers short rhymes .

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: frogprince
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 12:42 PM

Something like sixty years ago, I heard Carl Sandburg sing (on television) what he described as "the shortest blues song".

Papa loved Mama,
Mama loved Men,
Mama's in the graaave yaaard,
Papa's in the pen.

I still think Garth Brooks should be convicted of blasphemy for using that as the chorus of a longer song.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 01:20 PM

I am reminded of the "shortest short story" - very sad:

For sale: Baby shoes. Never worn.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Richard Mellish
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 04:35 PM

The Van Gogh one is considerably longer than quoted above.

My name it is Van Gogh,
Lend an ear, lend an ear.
My name it is Van Gogh,
Lend an ear.
My name it is Van Gogh,
And all I did was cough,
And me right ear it fell off,
In me beer, in me beer.

Plus at least one more verse.

There are some others of the same kind as quoted by Mr Red, for example:
Oh dae ye see yon high hills, a' cover't wi' snaw?
Na!

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: MartinRyan
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 06:33 PM

"There were two brothers, two noble warriors
They fell in love with a lady gay
But obviously, she wasn't interested - so they went home again!"

Anyway - I reckon the real measure of song economy is the inverse ratio of the short version to the length the damn thing would have reached otherwise!

Regards

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Don Firth
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 06:56 PM

Variation of "Fine Flowers in the Valley" (The Cruel Mother," Child #20):

She leaned her back against a thorn,
"OUCH!!"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Leadfingers
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 08:53 PM

I think Marty Robbins runs to about seven minutes , but this has all the facts :-

One night in the wild west town of El Paso
I met a girl and I got shot and died

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,Gerry
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 09:14 PM

I can never think of El Paso without thinking of the Steve Martin version, with monkeys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqrr-N4ue0c

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 09:26 PM

Don Firth posts all the good ones that I know.

There is the Ballad of the Vasa:

On Friday night she set sail,
And she sank to the bottom of the sea!

Charlie Ipcar

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 09:31 PM

short blues song..

♫ Well, I didn't wake up this morning...♫

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Mysha
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 02:44 AM

I don't know about that, Bill:


Well, I didn't wake up this morning,
It was in the afternoon.
I didn't wake up this morning,
It was in the afternoon.
Was awake at 12.30,
But I felt that was too soon.

Now. my girl friend didn't leave me,
She is with her mum and dad.
My girl friend didn't leave me,
She is with her mum and dad.
They needed help redecorating
And my baby's good with that.

Oh, my dog was not run over,
And he didn't pass away
My dog was not run over,
And he didn't pass away
He's over at the neighbours
Who liked to spoil him for a day

Hey, yesterday I had a party
Lasted till the morning light
Yesterday I had a party
Lasted till the morning light
Now I'm taking things easy
Everything just feels so right

Say, I don't have any worries
All around I get good news
I don't have any worries
All around I get good news
Things couldn't be much better
So why -
am I singing the blues?

                                  Mysha


Not quite as short as the other ones.

(That one has been hanging around in my mind for quite a while. Thanks for giving me an opportunity for working it out.)

Bye
                                                                Mysha

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 03:34 AM

From what I remember of it the song with the least number of individual words must be "Why?" By Yoko Ono.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 03:38 AM

Not really in contention but a short parody is

As I was a walking one morning in May
I spied a young couple a making of hay
One was a soldier and a bold grenadier
And the other was a choirboy and I thought "Hey that's queer!"

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,Mike Yates
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 04:25 AM

Richard, thank you for adding to the Van Gogh lines. In the 1960's there used to be a singer in London who would stand up, sing the first two lines, and then sit down again. I never realised that there was more to the song. So, once again, my thanks.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: bubblyrat
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 06:23 AM

Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha! Wipeout !

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: mayomick
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 06:33 AM

the shortest and longest song ever written : Michael Finnegan

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 12:00 PM

The shortest, famous song I know of was written and prtformed bt Cliff Eberhardt, it goes like this....

"Heartbeat of America, today's Chevrolet."

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 12:20 PM

What about those recent pop songs that repeat one line 64 times. For example:

Give me the people and free my soul, I wanna get lost in rock and roll mumble mumble mumble mum

There are others, which I am forced to listen to while shopping, but I can't recall them now. How absurd that pop stars actually make money on stuff like that.

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: Mysha
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 12:22 PM

Hi Black,

Don't the lyrics of "Why" consist of "Hey" and "Why"? That would sort of make it two words against the one word in Lament For A Lost Election, which Mike mentions above.

Bye
                                                                Mysha

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 01:51 PM

Shortest song ?

Quite a few contenders from 1980s punk and thrash metal bands...

For example: Napalm Death - "You Suffer"

Subject: RE: Shortest song ever
From: GUEST,Desi C
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 02:16 PM

How about the shortest book ever 'The diplomatic Skills of David Cameron'
There is a folk song on You Tube by a sister of The Clancy Brothers Irish trad called 'she didn't dance' Can't remember her name but the surname is Clancy it's under a minute long