BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 02:46 PM

That's fair enough!

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 12:45 PM

Under " Bonzo3legs rules", no reason, or evidence, is needed for anything I say, including any reasonable justification for disrespectful (and rude) thread titles.

"Tit for tat, and all that"- Anon source
;)

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 11:26 AM

To put it into perspevtive, few (if any) would call any dog a "whore".

Have you researched that thoroughly? Do you have any evidence???!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 11:23 AM

Oops, perspective:(

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 11:22 AM

To put it into perspevtive, few (if any) would call any dog a "whore".

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Greg F.
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 09:56 AM

What a nasty anti-human person is Bonzo3legs.

When dogs start having more "rights" and getting more consideration than humans, society is seriously fucked.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 09:39 AM

"What a nasty anti-dog man is Jim Carroll."
I happen to love dogs; I just believe anti-social dog owners should be neutered when they are unable to control their animals - top of the list would be those who believe that "Dogs have every right to bark, they are simple protecting their territory."
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 09:04 AM

"bury chicken-wire just under the surface of your flowerbeds; cats catch their claws in it when they go to cover up their doings, and they hate that"

By the time they are trying to cover up their doings it's too late, the deed is done.
The cats round here just seem to do it on the surface, with very little attempt to cover it - if I put anything down to discourage them they just do their doings in top - I'd rather just shovel it up than try to get it off chicken wire or twigs or whatever.

I used to have a little cat who went to great lengths to bury it - she would dig a deep hole as deep as her arm would reach, and afterwards fill the hole and keep covering and sniffing until there was no smell to give away where she had been.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 08:42 AM

I do have to agree that there are no bad dogs, just bad owners.

Dogs bark for a reason, often the reason is that they're left alone for too long, or that the owners fail to invest time (and money) in training their dogs properly, or in training themselves to understand their dog's psychology and emotional and physical needs.

On second thoughts, oldude, don't shoot the dogs, shoot their owners. Ya know ya wanna!

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 08:37 AM

""If I could lick my balls I wouldn't need a dog."" -  ""Dogs' misdemeanours are almost certainly the fault of the owners.""

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 08:24 AM

Dogs' misdemeanours are almost certainly the fault of the owners.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 05:23 AM

What a nasty anti-dog man is Jim Carroll.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Thompson
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 02:20 AM

My dog used to bark in the garden when I was at work. i didn't know because I was at work. When my neighbours (politely) told me, I started leaving the dog in the house when I went to work. Problem solved.
Yes, if you feed dogs chocolate they will go into convulsions and die painfully. It's not something to joke about, nor is any other poison.
In relation to cats burying their poo in your garden, Some Bloke, there are two linked solutions. One is to get a motion-detector sprinkler system (not expensive), which will send the cats elsewhere. The second is to bury chicken-wire just under the surface of your flowerbeds; cats catch their claws in it when they go to cover up their doings, and they hate that.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Musket
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 02:13 AM

If I could lick my balls I wouldn't need a dog.

Or a holiday

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: frogprince
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 09:11 PM

"Ever thought Ed, why after sniffing humans, dogs lick their balls to get rid of the taste? Two way street."

Personally, I've never licked my balls after smelling a dog...

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Ed T
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 03:43 PM

""Who let the dogs out""
:)

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: gnu
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 03:31 PM

"Phooey on Dogs"

LOVE IT! Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST,Some bloke in Scotland
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 01:41 PM

cats are clean? The feral buggers up here might bury their shit in my garden but I find it again when planting ... Grrr.

When Musket 1's greyhound was staying earlier this year, he chased a few half heartedly but once they had gone back home, they were back.

(I can bear witness to the farting by the way. It isn't natural, that dog. A green mist floated down Loch Fyne each night....)

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST,.
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 12:02 PM

Phooey on Dogs

I think that I shall never see
A dog as he's supposed to be;
A dog who since he was a pup
Has learned when he should just shut up.

I'm tired of hearing dogs just yap
And wake me when I take a nap.
Those boisterous creatures bark and growl,
Bay at the moon and screech and howl.

They never do a lick of work,
They run around like they're berserk.
They irritate like hordes of gnats.
I wish that dogs were more like cats.

For cats are quiet, sweet, demure
And known for being clean and pure.
But dogs are different, that's the truth
And, more than that, they're just uncouth.

facebook.com/CrazyCatLadiesUnite/posts/394696310636424

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 08:18 AM

Dogs in cars
In the balmy days before parking meters, it was the duty of the police to issue summonses to owners of illegally parked cars.
In those days, in Liverpool at least, they carried master keys which could open most car doors, and they would tape the summons onto the inside of the windscreens, so some drivers took to leaving their dogs inside parked cars.
The police retaliated by carrying packets of aptly named 'Bonio' - laxative chewing gum, which they would hastily throw into the car for the delectation of it's guard dog.
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Ed T
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 06:22 AM

A few years ago I bought a house and it had a carpet in one room that reeked of dog- anytime the humidity rose, even after it was cleaned many times. The carpet was removed and I got the hardwood floor refinished. The refinishers told me that when they sanded the floor, one spot, where the dog slept reeked of dog. Fortunately, the finishing sealed it.

Another experience was, when my daughter was younger, she purchased a low mileage car from an elderly neighbour who took his dog everywhere in his car. We tried everything to get the dog smell out-but were never successful. It smelled of dog until she traded it.

Some people cant smell their own farts, or grow into liking the smell-but, not everyone finds them enjoyable.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 06:15 AM

Can't guarantee its effectiveness, but there is a device said to stop barking.
After having lived next to an quiet elderly local for nearly ten years, on his death, we acquired a new neighbour with two barking dogs.
Our complaints were met with the moronic, "that's what they are there for, they're only doing their job".
We finally bought a device which is advertised to respond to loud barking by issuing a harmless sonic whine, undetectable to the human ear.
May be a coincidence, but after a month, they stopped - the barking hasn't been an issue for a year now.
Got the poisoned steaks ready, just in case!
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Musket
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 06:06 AM

Life is tough on my little boy. He doesn't have any balls.

Still tries to lick them though.

Which forms the basis of my explanation of religion, as eagle eyed Mudcatters may recall.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 05:11 AM

Strange one, that, Musket: life must be tough on bitches.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Musket
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 04:58 AM

Ever thought Ed, why after sniffing humans, dogs lick their balls to get rid of the taste? Two way street.

My little boy doesn't smell bad in terms of body odour but when he farts, and seriously it isn't socially acceptable, I find myself having a fleeting moment of sympathy for Ed's view.

Although poisoning dogs is of course about the only crime for which hanging is too good for 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 03:33 AM

I like the smell of my dog (in the dry state). Very comforting when he cuddles up to me and Mrs. BWM on the sofa of an evening. 👍

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST,#
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 10:13 PM

Ain't nothing like the smell of wet dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Ed T
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 08:14 PM

Not only am I clearly not a dog owner, I clearly have zero interest in owning one (if own is the politically correct word).

Maybe I have super-sensitive sense of smells-but I find dogs "stink". I can smell them in houses and cars (where they reside), and often even on some dog owners. Oddly enough, I grew up on a farm, and farm animals never bothered me-but, then, we never had them in the house :), and changed our barn clothes in a special entrance and always washed up shortly after.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST,#
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 07:48 PM

Damn. And here I coulda provided a hot link. The shame :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: gnu
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 07:32 PM

Why should I have to search for the post? Obviously, you copied and pasted the date and time. Why not the entire post? What am I? A fuckin bird dog sniffing fer a post. ARF!

Arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf,...

>;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 07:30 PM

We had a barking dog in the neighborhood, but one of my neighbors bought some sort of small ultrasonic noise-maker designed specifically for that purpose and after that the dog was quiet.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST,#
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 03:05 PM

"Ed T clearly is not a dog owner."

See Ed T's post of 16 Dec 14 - 02:19 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 02:26 PM

Ed T clearly is not a dog owner.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Ed T
Date: 17 Dec 14 - 02:55 PM

Spread some Velveeta on his dog bones-he will have the shits for a week, disabling his bark.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 17 Dec 14 - 01:52 PM

PMSL. 😃

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: gnu
Date: 17 Dec 14 - 12:44 PM

A dog thread eh?

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow.

"Ooh", said the presenter. "This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"

"Sticks", said Paddy.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Dec 14 - 12:26 PM

Bonnie the Small Dane tended to approach the invader, stand on her hind legs with her front paws on their shoulders, look down at them, and then gas them to death with her halitosis.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Musket
Date: 17 Dec 14 - 03:53 AM

I feel somewhat left out.

My little boy (greyhound, rescued ex racer) doesn't bark. If burglars came in he would angrily sleep at them, possibly a few farts to warn them off and if all else failed, slowly get up, stretch (two farts there, he stretches both ways) and stand at the side of the cupboard where I keep the gravy bones, looking at the burglars hopefully.

If he could bark, he'd tell them which guitars are worth a bit and which aren't, possibly to serve me right for letting the vet stick a thermometer up his arse last week.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Dec 14 - 12:33 AM

LoL

☺〠☺~M~☺〠☺

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Firecat
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 06:52 PM

MGM-Lion, my husband says "I wonder if your uncle's dogs considered getting the letter as woof justice? Then again, why is a coffee shop worker reading letters to dogs anyway?"

I pointed out that he was getting confused with "Barista", to which he replied "No wonder I lost that court case!"

Yes, I'm married to a comedian(!)

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Greg F.
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 06:18 PM

Yes, its the owners's fault, no question. However, considering the various options of calling the authorities & etc.& the result therefrom, the logical thing to do to resolve the situation is shoot the dogs - since you can't shoot the owners.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 06:05 PM

It's no more the dog's fault for barking than it is the gun's for killing: it's the owner's. The owner should not have a dog which can do nothing but bark, because it's so psychotic anything at all is seen as an invasion of its territory. The odd bark is normal: the one I talked about yapped continuously for ten or twelve hours on end each and every single day. That was a failure in training, probably aggravated by its pedigree imbreeding. And it is an abuse of the neighbours: you try doing homework for life-making exams with that kind of grating sound in the background. A student who fails his exams doersn't get chances, no more should a dog which has failed to learn only to bark when it's needful.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST,#
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 02:26 PM

"Neighbours complaining about someone's dog making an awful racket. You could hardly blame the poor beast, its owner had died in her bed at least a fortnight before and there hadn't been much left of the old girl worth eating."

James Oswald, Natural Causes

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Ed T
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 02:19 PM

Go to the SPCA, find thd biggest, loudest, barky-dog. Tell them you want to take it home to test. After a few days of back door barking, the annoying neighbours may get the message. If you survive the noise, and you don't fall in love with the dog, take it back.

Just an idea, maybe a bad one, as I don't have a "dourg".

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 02:11 PM

Simple???? I meant simply!

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 02:10 PM

Dogs have every right to bark, they are simple protecting their territory.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 11:56 AM

We used to have that problem, neurotic purebred dachshund used to bark when they went to work, bark when we left for school, bark when the postman came, morning and afternoon, bark when we got home, bark when they got home, the bloody thing never stopped. But then again, they'd decided not to have kids, which was probably merciful, they were as neurotic as the rat and it was her babykins. To describe him, he set about panelling the front room, and spent the next eighteen months murdering nails, tap- taptap, tap, tap, tap tap tap, ta, tap tap - and that was just one. One Sunday lunchtime he started working on the party wall, there was a sudden shower of mortar in the fireplace and the end of a straightened clotheshanger came through. My father had got himself set with a pair of pliers, turned the end over so it couldn't be pulled back, while he fetched a plumbers wrench to pull it through. That done, he returned it - and the SOB denied it was his.
The story came to an end one day when he discovered she'd been humping his dad for years - and she left him for pa. Next thing we knew the cops were round, he'd killed the dog and hung himself. Nowt so queer as folks...but it did sort the problem.

They say that 6gm of baking chocolate per kilo of dog has a similar result.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 11:48 AM

WTF have you got that arsenal of bang-bangs for? Shoot the fuckers.

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 09:34 AM

Throw them a couple of bones .................... laced with arsenic

Subject: RE: BS: Dogs barking next door... grrrrrrrr!
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 09:29 AM

Unplug the speakers.