Confession: I killed Laura Foster

Subject: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Tom Dula
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:06 PM

I killed poor little Laura Foster. I'll hang my head and cry.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Willie
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:08 PM

I killed Pretty Polly.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Áine
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:13 PM

And I'll take the heat for Cock Robin -- but he deserved it!

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:29 PM

Mr Dula. DID you take her on the mountain?
Did you hide her shoes?
Where will you be this time tomorrow?

Funny. There have been some wicked threads lately. Glad to see satire ain't dead.

Rick

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: emily rain
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:37 PM

i burned susie cleland.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: kendall
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:41 PM

poor Elaine Smith did me dirt (pronounced ELLEN by bluegrass singers)

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Clifton53
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:47 PM

Last night at a party I murdered "I Shall Be Released". Sorry.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Mike Billo
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:48 PM

Investigators are seeking a possible link between this, and another crime in which fiddle screws were made from the little finger thumbs of the victim.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: emily rain
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 03:57 PM

and what about the harp that was strung with some poor woman's golden hair? there's a psycho on the loose!

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: kendall
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:04 PM

DUH,,I killed the Wendy bird too

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Chet W.
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:08 PM

The chances are high that many of us will kill a few brain cells tonight. Be on the lookout. May God be with the cops, firemen, and EMTs tonight.

Chet

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: reeebop
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:10 PM

i ate the last of the christmas cookies. and i'm sorry.

...but they were soooooooo good.mmmmmm.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Áine
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:10 PM

Dear Chet,

From the look of some of the threads here lately, I'd say that some of us have already killed a few brain cells -- Oh heck, I'll fess up to that one too!!

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From:
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:28 PM

In two hours, thirty five minutes, I'm going to kill this pest the 20th century....it has it coming. The Burren ranger. ps...Now, who the blazes killed Liberty Valance?

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Paul G.
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 04:55 PM

I was an unwitting accomplice in the hanging of Tom Dooley. Ah, that's better -- a little confession is surely good for the soul. Now where's the champagne?

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: catspaw49
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 05:08 PM

I am once again struck with the old George Carlin routine and I went back and replaced the word kill with the word fuck.

Great thread...........

BTW, I killed Davey Moore, but I don't know why he died and I ain't got no reason for.......and I was the one who ran Percy off the road too.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: sophocleese
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 05:08 PM

I'm going to kill a few brain cells tonight but on a positive note I'm going to give up the 1900's ...permanently.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Mbo
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 05:25 PM

Well, tonight I'm going to cross the Clyde-water to see my Maid Margaret--oof! My heart's bleeding again...BTW yesterday they hung the criminal MacPherson. Imagine busting a fiddle over someone's head! They kept blaming me for it--something about a clock. Well, I never could tell time that well...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Alice
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 05:41 PM

I shot the sheriff... but I did not shoot the deputy.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: bbc
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:08 PM

Confession is good for the soul. I'm innocent! ;)

bbc

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Duane D.
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:16 PM

I killed the fruit cake, but I didn't make it

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Áine
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:18 PM

Apart from Cock Robin (and he DID deserve it . . .) I will admit to being the one who put the Bop in the bop-de-bop-de-bop AND the one who put the Shang in the shang-a-lang-a-ding-dong . . .

Ahhhhh, I feel better already!

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Stewie
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:30 PM

But who killed Norma Jean?

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:41 PM

and, why was Bonnie lying and why over the ocean?

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Mbo
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 06:44 PM

I just shot them, I blew their heads open. And I heard them scream in their agony. I couldn't help it! I tried to run, but they gave me a gun, and told me the duty I owed to mt fatherland. So cruel, that no mercy tool...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: raredance
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 07:04 PM

I just set the cake there. The Weather Channel didn't say nothing about rain.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: JenEllen
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 07:54 PM

It was all the talk about nippin' it in the bud....I shot the deputy.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:01 PM

Well, guys, I guess it's my turn. I put the overalls in Mrs. Murphy's chowder.

--seedO'flynn

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Áine
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:05 PM

Well, here's the place to tell the truth -- It wasn't Mrs. O'Leary's cow that warmed up Old Chicago -- that's right, it was ME -- I didn't think that three hot whiskeys after 10 pints of the black vile stuff would matter that much . . . (hic!)

-- Áine

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Áine
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:14 PM

And while I'm at it (confessing, that is), you know that little problem Lizzie B. had with her folks -- that's right, it was me . . . Oh, and by the way, they got it wrong in the song -- it was 42 . . .

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: JenEllen
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:21 PM

Rebecca Young didn't fall into the water...she was pushed.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:23 PM

And I'm the one they threw off the Tallahatchee bridge...and I'm all growed up and comin' to get you, Maw!

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:24 PM

...and I wrote the book of Love.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:54 PM

Aine

You got the words wrong.

And I know what you did last summer.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 08:56 PM

Clementine was one of mine, yeah, she looked real good in them concrete boots, made up real pretty, looked just like them boxes you get herrings in.... She won't be kissing anyone but the fishes from now on.....

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Áine
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 09:02 PM

Well, I'm glad one of us remembers, Richard -- I've slept since then . . .

-- Áine

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: catspaw49
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 09:15 PM

I was just sitting in the street building my dulcimers when this guy, name of Pontius, asked to borrow a hammer....How was I to know?

Spaw

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Áine
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 09:18 PM

Hey there Cleigh's little friend -- you are truly the Spaw(n) of the Deveel!!

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: DonMeixner
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 09:19 PM

To Whom it may concern,

We, The Combined Flax and Tow Growers and Manufacturers Guild of Belfast, Ire. would like to admit to and take resposinility for some of the responsibility in the recent death of Mrs. Imma Bloat, dec. We realize that while Mrs. Bloat, dec. was killed by a transected carotid artery. This being caused by a razor, manufactured in Bonn, Germany by Kuutz & Scleitzoff & Co. It was the failure of a product produced by our union that precipitated this event. And for that we are profoundly sorry.

Our subsidiary Guild, Amalgamated Eggs and Marrow Bone Producers of Greater Wexford have a similiar addmission regarding a recent drowning in that town.

For both events we are profoundly sorry and willing to stand for our crimes.

Mr. B. Onmotts, Pres. AE&MBP of GW & CF&TG and MG of B,I

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Áine
Date: 31 Dec 99 - 09:29 PM

Remember Elvis' famous 'twitch' -- yep, I'm the one that poured the itching powder in his pants -- and that was me that gave Chuck Barry the big wedgie the night he first did the chicken dance, too!

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: kendall
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 12:48 AM

it's not MY fault..I was raised in the state that invented prohibition..so..I'm afraid I killed John Barleycorn. sorry.. spaw..you did it again lmao

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: thosp
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 12:56 AM

I caused the wreck on the highway -- and I didn't stop to pray!

peace (Y) thosp

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 01:13 AM

Okay look I didn't do it see? But I can't have my best friend's wife lie for me now can I? Fockit...I guess I'm toast.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: thosp
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 01:16 AM

bless me father for i have sinned-it has been one post since my last confession --- the old friend at the tennesse waltz -- it was me

peace (Y) thosp

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: catspaw49
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 01:26 AM

Hey its a real bad roadbed between Lynchburg and Danville and there was no way my crew could finish reballasting and spiking that night, so I told the boys to go on home and we'd finish on Monday. Dumb SOB was runnin' way too fast anyway.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 04:56 AM

And our family misses her terribly.

Alan Foster

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Little Tommy Flynn
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 06:46 AM

I pushed the pussy

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: -gargoyle
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 06:49 AM

Or is it somone who changed his/her Cookie

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Hasek
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 08:32 AM

If Tom Dula only knew that Laura Foster contracted that disease from John Henry...........and if only I had a hammer, I'd hammer this morning.............

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: kendall
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 10:40 AM

If I had a hammer there wouldnt be any drummers