Confession: I killed Laura Foster

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Caitrin
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:04 PM

Did the Buffalo Gals come out of the closet, kat?

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:17 PM

Sorry, Mary. I've been telling people for years that I wrote the Book of Love and never encountered one doubter. Then I actually run into the author on the Mudcat...I mean, what are the chances?! Anyway, I am in receipt of the Cease and Desist Order from your attorney, and have every intention of complying.

I did not write The Book of Love, though I had a small part in the movie.

LEJ

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:51 PM

We can say it was under my/your/our psuedonymn. I'll let you choose one.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:53 PM

oops. always profreed.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Dave Swan
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:54 PM

It's been a tough day for me. I just had to go tell Aunt Rhody.

E.S.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: thosp
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 09:54 PM

Dave (TAM)
by thy long grey beard and the glint in thy eye - i was one of the three

peace (Y) thosp

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From:
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 11:36 PM

But did you make Bambi sad?

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Cara
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 11:37 PM

I told Clementine to jump on in the water...but I feel really bad...

Additionally, my whereabouts on the night they drove old Dixie down ahve never been satisfactorily established.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: _gargoyle
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 11:56 PM

Just curious Jeff P....do you work at the University of Wisconsin???? ( You butts were whipped today;;;;and your bio...resides there.)

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Kernow John
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 01:53 AM

Remember the Old Dunn Cow?
Last time I struck a match!
God that feels better.
Baz

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 04:21 AM

A couple of my friends asked me to forward these messages:

I DIDN"T DO IT, DAMMIT. You know I wasn't there. --McCavity, the Mystery Cat

It was a bum rap. I did not shoot Mr. Howard. Jesse's brother Frank did. I just claimed the reward.

Robert Ford

--seed

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: jeffp
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 08:51 AM

No, Garg, I don't work at Wisconsin. The commute from Maryland would kill me and my old car. Is someone up there using me as a pseudonym? Maybe he's the one that did marry pretty Pamela Brown!

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Big Mick
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:06 AM

AWWWWWWRRRRRIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHTTTT!!!!!!! I admit it.......it was me..........I write the songs that make the whole world sing, the songs of looooovvvvvveeeee and everything..............and I killed Barry Manilow................SO SUE ME, ALREADY.......I still say I did the world a favor!

Big Mick

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:18 AM

Big Mick,

We're forever indebted to you.

And it was me who murdered that dear little girl, whose name was Rose Conlee.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Wesley S
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:29 AM

I came in through the bathroom window { and I wasn't looking for George Harrison }

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:45 AM

Seed--Does your friend, McCavity Cat, hang out with the Magical Mister Mistopheles? He's been accused of a lot of mischief. BTW, does anyone know if his song is an "upside down" version of Rachmaninoff's Theme on a Variation of Paganinni? I think I heard somewhere that it was. (Sorry for the thread creep)

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Allan C.
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 11:11 AM

It was I who kissed Flora 'neath the tree. I should also admit to my involvement in the abduction and murder of the gray goose and the later slandering of the fox (who was only guilty of receiving stolen goods). It was during this event that I also buried a freshly killed turkey in the straw (although some say it was hay).

I traveled quite a bit in the years which followed. I left my home and my family and trekked across the Blue Ridge Mountains. I ran the ridges of Tennessee, rode that great Northern Railway, walked that lonesome valley, crossed the wide Missouri, then went down south and eventually made it down to the coast of California (where I was partly raised).

Among my better accomplishments was the building of a tower which stood forty feet high. I also once built a railroad (where I met a fine fellow named Pat); but now it's done.

Recently, I spent my last greenback dollar on a speckled roan which I swear I didn't know was stolen. The crime was blamed on me and so I am currently having my mail forwarded to a correctional facility in Tijuana.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 11:23 AM

I had a penknife long and sharp..........

Oh, yes, and I sank the Princess Alice.......

And the Rueben James............

And I gave Queen Jane that fatal caesarian.....

And I'm the young man they call Ramble Away.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 11:26 AM

If no one's fessin' up to Liberty Valance, I'll claim it.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Allan C.
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 11:36 AM

But two shots rang out, Steve. So you could possibly be innocent.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 12:49 PM

Thanks Allan, who needs Johnny Cochrane with you around?

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From:
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 01:01 PM

I said, "Hang 'em, hang 'em HIGH!"

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 02:32 PM

I was standing near the Grassy Knoll, and saw the whole thing...

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Bert
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 02:45 PM

and I killed Anne Boleyn.

HENRY VIII.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: wildlone
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 02:46 PM

I hear that train a'coming, coming round the bend.
don't bend over on the railroad track, it will get you in the end.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Peter T.
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 04:24 PM

WHO SO YOU LOVE, I HOPE....

Who do you love, I hope?
Who would you kiss, I hope?
Who is it going to be?
I hope a hope a hope it's me.

Is it the baker who baked you a cake?
I saw that look in his eye.

Is it the butcher who brought you a steak?
Say that it is and I'll die!

Who do you love, I hope?
Who would you kiss, I hope?
Who is it going to be?
I hope a hope a hope it's me.

-- Irving Berlin, "Annie Get Your Gun" (totally infectious, terrible song, like this thread).

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: JenEllen
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 08:37 PM

I fought the law.........

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: jeffp
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:06 PM

I am Spartacus!

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: vikinglass
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 09:29 PM

Serial killer wannabes often confess to crimes they did not commit.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Cuz'N' Jan
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 11:35 PM

Hey! I was just looking for a song, and I found y'all. But please, I'm not prepared to die.

Knoxville Girl

P.S. I didn't do nothin'

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: ddw
Date: 04 Jan 00 - 12:24 AM

It was me did Omie Wise. And while I was on the lam from that, that damned sheriff locked my leg to 35 pounds of Blackjack County Chain. But he got his. Made me so mad I kicked that rock onto the tracks that derailed the FFV and drilled the hole that sank that Turkish enemy in the lowland sea.

david

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Brendy
Date: 04 Jan 00 - 01:13 AM

Oh, I don't know about all this!
I think it's my destiny to be the king of pain.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Jimmy
Date: 04 Jan 00 - 02:09 AM

I waited until his Rolls Royce stopped at the lights and then I blew his lordship's brains out. Ha! No wonder he didn't notice the lights had changed. But George knew it wasn't suicide so I had to try to kill him too. (shortly to become a BBC "Murder most Foul" presentation)

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Danlbear
Date: 04 Jan 00 - 11:10 AM

I'm a good boy...I aint never done nothin'.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Davey
Date: 04 Jan 00 - 11:27 AM

I demolished the Corn Flakes

I obliterated the Rice Krispies

I terminated the Shreddies

I ended the Captain Crunch

I stabbed the Shredded Wheat

I shot the Puffed Rice


I am a cereal killer.

Davey... (:>)

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Nathan in Texas
Date: 04 Jan 00 - 11:52 AM

It's not like I killed anyone. All I did was leave the cake out in the rain

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 04 Jan 00 - 12:29 PM

I've got Captain Queeg's strawberries! Sorry about the ... trouble, guys.

Steve

Oh, and I've got the Nostromo's cat, too ...

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Caitrin
Date: 04 Jan 00 - 07:33 PM

BTW, I should also admit that Richard III was innocent. I knocked off the Little Princes.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Faded Denim
Date: 04 Jan 00 - 11:44 PM

I think it's about time someone killed this thread. But it can't be me - I'm an innocent! Well - I was..

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: thosp
Date: 05 Jan 00 - 01:03 AM

the shot heard round the world--yup it was me -- just about took off my toe too!

peace (Y) thosp

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 Jan 00 - 01:45 AM

I put the tire track down Humphry's back...

I threw shit at the cook

And hung Paddy Doyle for his boots

I slew the Bonnie Earl of Moray and Lady Mondegreen

I fight authority, authority always wins....

I fell in to a burning ring of fire.....

I'm sorry,...... so sorry.......

I always come on to these threads after the novelty has worn off for everyone else.

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From:
Date: 05 Jan 00 - 03:46 AM

O.K. I'm busted...thanks to me, Delia's gone

...but it took a lot of ammo y'know..(BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round..BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round..BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round...BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round...(Dangit, just die...this is expensive ammo)...BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round...

I have come to the conclusion that Delia is...one of the horrible UNDEAD!

PJS

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: johnp
Date: 05 Jan 00 - 08:44 PM

Billy Jo did't jump....I pushed

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Willie-O
Date: 05 Jan 00 - 09:23 PM

There I wuz, mindin my own business, had a nice steady racket of lovin em and leavin em, when this ship pulls up alongside me anchorage, and it's full of sailor babes dressed in mens clothing, and all these breasts falling out in the moonlight, and I knew every damn one of them and they was all lookin fer me...I was outta there so quick, I didn't bother to weigh anchor, just let the chain go, fired up the diesel and headed fer open water or the nearest iceberg, who cares really... If Greenpeace hadn't borrowed me Zodiac I[d a been round the point in it before you could say "allegations of patrimony"

W-O

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Liza Johnson
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 03:54 AM

I changed the locks: that's why your key don't fit in my lock no more
RtS

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Reynard the Fox (and associates)
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:24 AM

Don't tell Aunt Rhody, but I killed the grey goose (and can't understand why there are no more golden eggs.)
RtS

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Willie-O
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 04:51 PM

That's how they showed their respect for Paddy Murphy....

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Bluesy
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 06:20 PM

I started a joke...

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Mac The Knife
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 06:31 PM

About two seconds ago, I killed God and that means that any second now, all existance as we know will cease to ex.........

Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster
From: Willie-O
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 09:56 PM

...ercise any self-restraint