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Subject: keeping a breast (out of the way) From: Margo Date: 02 May 00 - 11:20 PM A discussion came up in a private message, and I conceeded to post. I'm short, and have short arms. My chest is er, ah, well, it's big. So when I don my banjo, my right breast rests on top of the banjo. Same thing with the guitar. I have always felt conspicuous about it, but what can I do? Do others secretly think it's funny? Margo |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Kelida Date: 02 May 00 - 11:23 PM I sort of have the same problem, and I'm not even that big. I always feel a bit silly, especially when I'm sitting down while trying to play guitar. . . I guess it's just something we women have to deal with. . . Peace--Keli |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Crowhugger Date: 02 May 00 - 11:28 PM I was recently talking about that with Rick Fielding. Does someone know where to place the bridge on an OVAL banjo?? If it means a funky-shaped bridge to get the sound out properly, so be it. Necessity is the mother of invention. In other words, yes, I too have noticed this, more discomfort than appearance...invisibility has its rewards. *BG* CH. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Metchosin Date: 02 May 00 - 11:39 PM Don't know Margo, but my daughter shares the same "problem", however, when she "lets er rip", suddenly the audiences attention is riveted to her music and not her breast.
It really bothered her, at first, but she finally adopted the following attitude: |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Rick Fielding Date: 02 May 00 - 11:42 PM Both Catspaw and I have the same problem.(But of course his are silicone) Actually it's a VERY legit issue. If I can be delicate about this, here are a few thoughts. If you are a "person of substance" DON'T PLAY AN OVATION! Seems logical, doesn't it but the gut and the guitar just don't fit. If you have an impressive superstructure, play a small guitar with a longer strap. My toughest assignment (and this is no joke) was a potential student who came to me wanting to play Lap dulcimer. She was definitely a "hefty gal" with ABSOLUTELY NO LAP. Tricky. Anybody care to speculate how I (sort of) dealt with it? Rick |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Margo Date: 02 May 00 - 11:43 PM Drool? |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amos Date: 02 May 00 - 11:44 PM If I may venture to speak at all in such hollowed company, I would mention that the first folksinger I fell in love with, back in the Pleistocene, was a lovely gracious highschool senior who played the banjo. Although of middling endowment, she graced her instrument in similar style while playing, usually wearing a black turtleneck which was fashionable among the earthy rich kids of the time. She looked like a figure of grace playing the banjo that way, as though she and it had become one with each other's flows. No-one I know of ever mentioned it -- in fact because of the inner glow, it was unnoticeable unless you happened to be fixated on that sort of thing. To tell the whole truth, I never even noticed this aspect of her playing because she played with great verve and sang well, and had, as I say, a certain inner glow. I remember it now looking back at my mental recordings of the period. Sad to say, our mutual fulfillment was not to be and she later ran off with John Hammond Jr. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Margo Date: 02 May 00 - 11:45 PM I bet you had her use a footstool, right? |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Margo Date: 02 May 00 - 11:47 PM Or, Rick, you had her play it on a table? |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Sandy Paton Date: 02 May 00 - 11:49 PM I recall the question put to me by Charlotte Daniels when I gave her the first of a few guitar lessons back in 1954. She sat down, took the guitar onto her lap, arranged her ample bosom somewhat uncomfortably in the instrument's curve, and asked "Don't they make these in a 'D' cup?" Sandy (my God, that's 46 years ago, and I never forgot the line!) |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Metchosin Date: 02 May 00 - 11:49 PM Yeah drool...I don't know if it is a genetic defect or not, but both my husband and one my daughters, drool while playing. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Margo Date: 02 May 00 - 11:54 PM Metcho: Interesting! Drool is OK by me. Sandy: LOL!!! I was born in 1954! (BTW, I'm listening to David's "Music from the Mountain" as I type) Margo :o) |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Rick Fielding Date: 03 May 00 - 12:03 AM The "TABLE" wins a kewpie doll! What the hell else could I do. 'Course it had to be the RIGHT SIZE table which was tricky. I did tell her that "quite a few" dulcimer players had tables made for them...which wasn't exactly true. Rick (a great fan of breasts) |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Mbo Date: 03 May 00 - 12:18 AM Excuse me for being unknowledgable in this area but, does it still happen even if you play with the guitar neck out perpendicular to your body? Oh BTW footstools rule! Every Classical guitarist has one (or more than one!) --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Sorcha Date: 03 May 00 - 12:21 AM Hey, table was my first guess too---and just because I'm late, I don't get a Kewpie doll! I am not amply endowed at all, (and don't play one of those "D" things anyway, so I have never had a problem, but the only way I can play a lap dulcimer is sitting on the floor with my left foot tucked under my right knee and right leg out straight. I guess you ladies could be like the Ancient Amazon boyers, and remove the offender? And Sandy, I thought Martin did make a "D" size? LOL And Rick, Mark Tindle, Walnut Valley (multiple) Dulcimer Champion, does play his on a table. Other folks I know with no laps use dulcimer "Seat Belts", or hold them up like guitars, using the same seat belt. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: ddw Date: 03 May 00 - 12:32 AM Guess I wouldn't be in line for a Kewpie doll, because I would have suggested using a chair with arms on it — the bane of most instrument players — for the dulcimer. At least that would have eliminated the necessity of the extra piece of furniture. And Margo, I'm amazed you play Banjo — given your description of yourself. I though it was an absolute must that banjo players have long left arms and concave chests.... :-)) david |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 12:37 AM Huh, why do you think I play autoharp as I do? I searched for three years before finding the right surface to play on! Keeping both, thank you very much. NO, sillies, not those! I'd give THEM up in a NY minute!!! The autoharp and the tilted playing stand!!! Some people, I swear! And Amos, are ye sure the glow wasn't in yer eyes as ye beheld what ye describe SO CLEARLY? My son called it Having a Serious Case of the Love-Dazzle, or Love-Dazz fer short. *BG* ~Susan~ |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Margo Date: 03 May 00 - 12:51 AM Dave, it looks like I'm going to have to try to get a picture of myself with my banjo to post at bbc's mudcat resources. I have a photo there (under my old psydonym "Margarita" but the area of discussion isn't apparent.... Margo |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 01:35 AM Long straps on the guitar, a sportsbra you can swear by, or just learn to play the fiddle *bg* ~Elle |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: katlaughing Date: 03 May 00 - 02:11 AM Jen, my daughter calls sportsbras you can swear by "uni-boobs". |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Sorcha Date: 03 May 00 - 02:14 AM UNI-BOOBS-- I love it!! (Unfortunately, I don't even need Uni-boobs, so I just do without, and play the fiddle!) LOL |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 02:20 AM Okay, Uni-boobs it is! Can't she just shift the uni over to the left a little then? I'm sure THAT would stop folks from looking! LOL You know....from OO to oO.... I still advocate the fiddle...but if I went 'without' I'm liable to kill someone! |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: katlaughing Date: 03 May 00 - 02:26 AM Naw, if ya go without, ya just get droopy, take it from a free and natural womon, honey, I know! Yep, she was always teasing me about my uni-boobs, whenever I squashed m'self into one of those spandex tubes. Hell, I've thought about learning the fine art of binding ala what they must've done under the kimonos in ancient times in Japan and elsewhere! LOL, kat |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Sorcha Date: 03 May 00 - 02:30 AM OOOHHH WWOOO, UNI BOOBS, UNITE!! (so what's a little droop, among friends?) I mean, we talkin' not quite fried egss, here.......I better give up and go to bed now. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 02:40 AM Not so much the droop...just keeping a tight rein on the wild horses at this point in life...but if it avoids my ever having to refer to the 'gals' as fried eggs, I'll do it!! LOLOLOL |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 02:44 AM Gawd...I can't believe I refered to them as the 'gals'.... |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 02:46 AM Louie and Ralph. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 02:48 AM So if you are wearing the sports bra, it's just aNNETTe ?????? |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 03:11 AM Lmao and Rotf. Or, as kat describes, and Elle illustrates, lmAOROtf !!!! ~S~
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 03:15 AM LMAO is right. Y'know, the only thing that stopped me from getting a tattoo is the thought that one day I'd have to roll down my socks to show it to my grandkids.... |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 03:22 AM Oh you are the nasty one! Finally had enough of that Mandolan stuff huh??? Gotta make time for girl time or something goes pop! Pop! Oh, too late.... Oh wait! What did Louis and Rafe sya when they met at the sports bar (I mean bra?) wait for it.... wait....
wait....
SQUEEZED TO MEETCHA!!!
LOLOLOLOllllllllllll!
Shhh!! wake up mah HUHS-ban'...... ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 03:27 AM Louis and Ralph? Dontcha mean L'mao and Rotf??? And yeah, the goofy girl crap wins out everytime.....:) |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: katlaughing Date: 03 May 00 - 03:37 AM OH, MY GAWD, I almost peed my pants! You two should be on stage! LMAOWROTFTSDMF!!! Reining in wild horses?!! MY daughter can relate to that! Louie and Ralph!LOL!!! Actually, when my were of the younger horse stage, I got a tattoo...nobody noticed the kid-bearing strecth marks, 'cause the colour of the rose always grabbed their attention! NOW, I ahve this terrible image of me rolling my sock down, oh, gawd, womon, I can't...tttyyy...pp..eee, laughing too hard! Ta bed! Ta sleep! Perchance to dream of wild horse days, pre-uni-boob daze! |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 03:41 AM Priunebube? Maori? |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: alison Date: 03 May 00 - 03:53 AM Just be thankful you don't play the accordion... hahaha slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Metchosin Date: 03 May 00 - 03:56 AM I remember a spoof calendar, years ago, called Maidens, where one of the monthly pinups was a gal trying to play guitar with her sagging boob caught between the strings. I laughed then, can't now, its too close to the truth. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: catspaw49 Date: 03 May 00 - 07:44 AM Between this and the "Singin' in the Loo" thread, I have learned a great deal about some of the women of Mudcat. It was perhaps more than I needed to know, but uh.......... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Bat Goddess Date: 03 May 00 - 07:52 AM I thought I just couldn't play guitar anymore because my arms have gotten shorter. Bat Goddess (who's tired of wearing a bra that looks like a swimming cap for Siamese twins!) |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST Date: 03 May 00 - 08:01 AM Thread drift alert...(although I enjoyed the light banter among the masters of mammaries)... Alison's post reminded me of a comment the Dillard's (bluegrass band that used to, among other things, be on the old Andy Griffith show) made the other night on a TV special. Being from Missouri, their definition of a "gentleman" is, "someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't." NOI. Neil Lowe |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 03 May 00 - 08:17 AM I'm too old too be excited by this thread, but thanks for the mammaries. RtS (no joke too old, no singing too flat..) |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Spider Tom Date: 03 May 00 - 08:44 AM What can I say in just a few lines, I hasten to comment, In just a few rhymes. THE LAST LAUGH. I read a ladys question, It had some people vexed, Of playing on a banjo, Adorned, by solo breast. Well! Do you try to hide it? I hear, that there's no way, Just keep in mind, a resting breast, Can make some peoples day. Does it wobble as you're plucking, Do you have to tell it "stay", Or else you find the juggling, Puts you off your play. Do you see some men, a'perving, As they're peeping through their hair, And grin, because you know, You're hideing, half a perfect pair.
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Mbo Date: 03 May 00 - 10:21 AM TOM you da man! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Art Thieme Date: 03 May 00 - 10:46 AM This thread has provoked numerous titters here for sure. Udderly amazing. I'm equally certain that some would say it sucks and is in bad taste. Well, we've milked the topic for all we can get. I guess I'm just an old leche(r). Heiffer joke is better than none. Remember, to err is human, to forgive bovine. No bull. I've been pretty cowherdly lately. Calf assed too. Then there was the hobo bovine. (A bum steer.) And the cow that got into the ink supply. (She "Mooed Indigo".) Think I'll go take a nip even though it's before noon ! Art |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: catspaw49 Date: 03 May 00 - 10:51 AM Lately, I've been a bit worried about you Art. Now I can say, nay-nay, my worry was unfounded.......Sorry for acting like a complete boob. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amos Date: 03 May 00 - 10:53 AM Art, you've obviously been busted. Call for support. Either that or you're spending too much time in your cups. Go figure. A |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Mbo Date: 03 May 00 - 10:57 AM Nah, he's just been wired for the last 18 hours...he needs a trip to Bali to let it all hang down. --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 10:57 AM Men, D-D-D-lightful! You are hereby admitted to the Goofy Girl Gentlemen's Auxiliary! Galpals, what do they get with their membership? ~Susan~ |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: kendall Date: 03 May 00 - 10:58 AM that was quite a cud you brought up Art.. personally, I believe that the human female mammaries are the most beautiful form in all of nature, and, not to be scoffed at. Scoffed UP maybe, but, not scoffed AT. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amos Date: 03 May 00 - 11:01 AM I'd like to suggest, gentlemen, that we try to be a little more feeling on this subject. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,Steve Latimer Date: 03 May 00 - 11:02 AM Rick, Wow, we have something else in common. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 11:16 AM Amos, LOL!!!! Screeeeeeeeemminggg...... OK. Getting a grip. Oh!!!! A grip!!!! OK. OK, I'll reply.... "OK. You can try!!" Ohhhhhhhhh........... ROTF..... ~Susan~ |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: katlaughing Date: 03 May 00 - 12:02 PM Classic Art! The best! |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,Mbo_at_ECU Date: 03 May 00 - 12:04 PM You can look as much, But if you as much as touch You gonna have yourself a case I'm gonna break you're face... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,Mbo_at_ECU Date: 03 May 00 - 12:04 PM You can look as much, But if you as much as touch You gonna have yourself a case I'm gonna break your face... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Metchosin Date: 03 May 00 - 12:09 PM Spider Tom, If its OK with you, I'd like to send that to my daughter who is trekking somewhere in the south of England right now, would you mind if I changed banjo to guitar? |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 12:12 PM Goofy Girl Gentlemen's Auxiliary? You bet your sweet ass! Every last testosteroni one of 'em! Serios note to Margo: I know it can be a bit embarassing for you, but you can tell by the drift of last night and thismorning that no one worries about it for long. So unless you're playing in a freezer, and you've got nipples the size of dinner plates, I don't think you'll have a problem. Okay, maybe that wasn't so serious after all....... |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amos Date: 03 May 00 - 12:42 PM DINNER PLATES!????? Whoooooo!!! Jen, you gotta stop these descriptive posts!!! :>) Bear in mind, unlike those of you who are curvaceiusly gifted |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amos Date: 03 May 00 - 12:46 PM DINNER PLATES!????? Whoooooo!!! Jen, you gotta stop these descriptive posts!!! :>) Bear in mind, unlike those of you who are curvaceiusly gifted we ballbearing types are living a poor life, cloaked in groveling mystery, most of the time, about these gentle bounteous, awe-inspiring, attention-riveting, cosmic jewels which you-all treat so cavlierly. They hold power over us -- especially when we dance with tall partners! A (Now I'm worried I'll get a bust in the chops!) |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: catspaw49 Date: 03 May 00 - 01:05 PM Well Ol' Spaw been lovin' this stuff and when you add it too the other things we been learnin' on that "Singin' in the Loo" thread......Well, I'd just like to say that I'll not be needin' to surf the porn sites. But I gotta' tell you ladies that Spaw always kinda' been partial to rump roast a bit more than rib, so to speak.....So I was thinkin' that if y'all might like to discuss the "flip side" for awhile, well, I'll be readin' right along............ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,Steve Latimer Date: 03 May 00 - 01:19 PM I was just thinking, Little Neo said she was using Duct tape as a strap for her new Banjo. Perhaps another use for Duct tape would be to wrap around your upper body and keep those things out of the way. Just a thought. I am an avid golfer. One of the biggest problems facing women taking up the game is just what do they do with them when taking their stance. I for one don't know the answer. (But if I put on any more weight I might have to consider it more seriously) |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amos Date: 03 May 00 - 01:20 PM Yeah, but wouldn't taking the duct tape OFF be kinda...painful?? |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: catspaw49 Date: 03 May 00 - 01:31 PM I sense we may be moving into BDSM here......... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,Steve Latimer Date: 03 May 00 - 01:34 PM 'Spaw, Que BDSM? (He asked shuddering) |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Metchosin Date: 03 May 00 - 01:38 PM Sorry Spaw, no titilation from this corner, besides, my daughter would probably floor me for discussing the size of her left breast in a public forum, if she knew, so I'd better not go near her backside, besides she too young for you. As for me, gravity, childbirth and age has somehow managed to change my pride and joy, without support, to something that resembles tobacco pouches. And sadly, I haven't been called "Susie Sweet Cheeks" for quite a few years. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: catspaw49 Date: 03 May 00 - 01:45 PM Well Susie Sweet Cheeks, age hasn't treated most of too kindly, but(t) thanks for the lowdown on your low down.(:<)) And Steve, I can tell you, or you can enter those letters into your favorite search engine........nah, don't do that, I'll tell............BDSM-Bondage Discipline Sado/Masochism. And if I need to explain further, go ahead and use the search engine!!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Sorcha Date: 03 May 00 - 01:46 PM Spaw, we gals gotta keep our priorities in order here; have you ever heard anybody agonizing over a bum-ectomy? |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Mooh Date: 03 May 00 - 01:48 PM More threads about breasts, please. Mooh. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Bert Date: 03 May 00 - 01:53 PM I'm sorry to introduce a note of seriousness into such a delightful thread. But, couldn't you swap your banjo for a Dobro? |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amos Date: 03 May 00 - 01:54 PM That would be a bum rap indeed. Almost as interesting as a complete bust. But not a total flop. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Metchosin Date: 03 May 00 - 01:56 PM Thanks Spaw (ah memories) although I realize I was kind of begging for some kind complement, thanks again for being a gentleman and complying. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: catspaw49 Date: 03 May 00 - 01:57 PM Well Sorch, you have a "point."....or in your case a fried egg...whatever...........and it is well taken. But that doesn't stop Ol' Spaw from askin' does it? I mean, I wouldn't want to be rude or push or anything.....just curious and all kinda'......you know nothin' about its too important or anything.....like I could live without knowing and its really inconseque.............. Oh gawd, I can't take it!!!!!!! I'm on my knees Sorch (right height) ......TELL ME ABOUT YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!! ......okay, okay........I'm better now.........get me some prozac................ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Sorcha Date: 03 May 00 - 02:07 PM Well, I can tell you it does not, never has, and never will have aspargus growing out of it!! And about the dobro, sounds even more dangerous to me, what with dinner plates and all. That's it, spaw, fried eggs on a dinner plate behind!! Bohran tips on the side, with dandelion wine! |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Abby Sale Date: 03 May 00 - 02:23 PM I see two options - One is to arrange things evenly so that both breasts rest on top. This will seem more normal, I think. Second harks mw back to Esther Halpern, then owner of the Gilded Cage, Phily. When she was fairly short and 20 to 30 months pregnant (it seemed) & seated she found the guitar strings hard to reach. She just played side-saddle. I forget if the guitar stayed out front & she turned sideways or the other way around, though. I worked fine. Many men play banjo at the hip - it wouldn't be that unusual. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Sailor Dan Date: 03 May 00 - 03:04 PM Dear Ladies and Gents of the Mudcat. After following this thread for the past two days, I would like to thank you all for the delightful descriptions, comments and remarks. I have never read so many descriptions of such a wonderfully delectable item of the torso that so many of us "boys" do care for. Please keep up the excellent conversation, I need some good laughs. These remarks are not meant to be sexist or deroggatory Thanks I am sincerely LMAO & ROTF
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Hollowfox Date: 03 May 00 - 03:05 PM Abby Sale, I think you've given the best solution. This calls to mind the story Doug Kershaw, the Cajun musician told about learning to play the guitar from his mother. She was appaerntly a buxom lady, and would rest a breast in the upper curve of the guitar as a matter of course when she played. When he was finally big enough to learn to play, (he was still pretty young) he cried because he didn't have anything to put there. Obviously he was able to adapt his mother's playing style. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 03:12 PM OK, it isn't a lyric request, but if you can help me out I am sure someone will make a song out of this. I've asked before, but Alas! Still need to know: The Bra Salesman says bras only come in the following sizes, but I can't be sure I have correctly remembered all of the sizes. I think there is one missing.
Sub-Nubbins So I figure that if no one knows the classic line I've forgotten, at least one of the members of the Goofy Girls' Gentlemens' Auxiliary will have some thoughts to share. AND-- this is an old, pre-silicon days joke, so KEEP EM NATURAL. Or start another list for the artificially altered varieties. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Bert Date: 03 May 00 - 03:20 PM Ah speaking of silicone |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,Steve Latimer Date: 03 May 00 - 03:23 PM Ah, silicone, wonderful stuff. I know many guys who are put off by these, but as I've often said, the Venus de Milo was once nothing but a hunk of rock. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Escamillo Date: 03 May 00 - 03:32 PM (oh, flamers of the Mudcat, do not interfere in this thread or I´ll kill you all). I´m a Latin. I like women who can´t play banjo. I like those who can´t type. I like.. oh, Spaw, could you share a little medication ?? Un abrazo tight - Andrés |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 03:34 PM So Bert, how do you pick the thread of the week again? Breasts or recollecting Spaw's resurrection? ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: katlaughing Date: 03 May 00 - 03:38 PM I'm not sure if it's the right one for that list, Praise, but there's always the Over-the-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder variety! Definitely not conducive with a Uni-Boob look, though. Then there are those old 50's cotton things my mother wore, with the concentric stitching circling her *melons*. Later on, when we were burning our bras and liberating our own budding globes, we laughed and called the old bras Torpoedo-Tits! Me, I just tell Rog, he needs to follow along, directly behind me, reaching round in a loving embrace to lift and separate just like in the commercials, but in such a more pleasant and personal way!**BG** What a liberating thread. When do we have the next bra-burning? katlaughingforrealtearsrunningdowntheface! |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: JenEllen Date: 03 May 00 - 03:41 PM LOL Amos....goes along with my theory on the subject. Barring the minor percentage here or there, half the population has it and the other half wishes they did. Spaw; I'll let you in on the most gorgeous of ass duties. Next time the wife brings home groceries, don't help her bring them in. I think that swing of the hip to close the car door has got to be one of the finest guy-grabbers in history. Just watch her and be glad you've got one all to yourself! She who can't lose with the stuff she use.....Elle |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Easy Rider Date: 03 May 00 - 03:47 PM Don't hide 'em, Margo. Enjoy them! Remember the cello player who performed topless, a number of years ago? Of course, if you want to be less "in their faces", just wear a soft black top that doesn't reflect light. But I like them in my face!
OVO |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Escamillo Date: 03 May 00 - 03:53 PM This thread is growing so fast, that soon someone will have to start a new one, called "Breast Nr. 2" Otro abrazo - Andrés |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Lady McMoo Date: 03 May 00 - 03:55 PM To introduce a serious note...cellist's nipple is actually a recognised medical complaint! mcmoo |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,Steve Latimer Date: 03 May 00 - 04:09 PM McMoo, Do tell. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,dwditty Date: 03 May 00 - 04:29 PM This thread has me all a-titter. DW |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 04:30 PM Cello.... Is that Ow Ow Ya? ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amos Date: 03 May 00 - 04:30 PM Returning to the Mystery aspect of the Golden Globes, it is human nature, with many centuries of precedent, to resort to one sure and salving remedy when confronted with the really grat mysteries in life. When you are in the grip of a great Power, one you are sure is There, but that you are not, in your humble state, permitted to see directly, but yet which, you are sure, is of over-aweing beauty and a source of liberation, and an embodiment of essential Grace, and yet are somehow forbidden from reaching out and touching directly said great power, what do you do? For poor starved males all over this ancient planet, the sure answer, the path to hoped-for salvation, has always been to pray to the Powers. In Western culture this is either achieved with a meditative state, the eyes closed and a dream-like smile playing over the yearning lips, or alternatively in a semi-hypnotic stare, eyes focused on the invisible seats of power in the distance, penetrating all mortal barriers of mere cloth. The latter, in these degraded times, has been denounced! Such prayer has been so heaped with scorn in some circles as to be socially prohinited, in a nation that prides itself on religous freedom!! It has even been labeled (oh! Injustice!!) ogling when in fact it is so much more -- the striving of mortal humans to reach for and establish some contact, however fleeting, with the Sublime!! I believe a religious revival is in order for those, like myself, who are moved to prayer in the presence of these strange, empowering, and hidden Powers, these veritable pillars of grace incarnate, these fountains of pure beauty in a world grown dull...yes! Call a Camp Meeting! Ah's SEEN de LIGHT! |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Bert Date: 03 May 00 - 05:39 PM Praise, Yes, of course it's thread of the week, no other thread can come close. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Margo Date: 03 May 00 - 05:58 PM Gads! I've created a monster! Just sat down and read all your replys. UNI-BOOB: Sounds like something a she-cyclops would have! WHAT THE HECK IS CELLIST'S TIT? I used to have a friend who would exclaim "now you've got your tit in a wringer" to illustrate that I was in a fix. I complained one day, and he changed it to "you've got your udder in a rudder". The mind recoils as various mental images flash.... I will try soon to get a photo to bbc so you all can see what I'm talking about. Sheesh, I'm really not an exhibitionist, believe me. Spaw, the only instrument that comes to mind where you do use your ass is the bassoon (b-ass-oon). You've got to sit on the darn thing to hold it down... :o))) Margo |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: catspaw49 Date: 03 May 00 - 06:02 PM Well, we've gone this far.....Let's talk "terminology" here........... We covered this a long time ago for the male of the species, but what other names do we use for BREASTS? To kick it off....... boobs, knockers, nay-nays, melons, tits, glands, hands, rack, mamms, Cassabas.......... Go ahead, I don't want to take them all...... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amergin Date: 03 May 00 - 06:08 PM Thanks for all the cheap thrills folks. ;) |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Bert Date: 03 May 00 - 06:37 PM In England they're 'Charlies', 'Bristols' or 'Throopnies' |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: SINSULL Date: 03 May 00 - 07:00 PM Gentlemen and ladies, I saw the title of this thread yesterday and, having just dealt with a computer crash, the NY Penal System, and my father's surgery, I was not up to playing the role of anonymous supporter to some poor soul who had just undergone a mastectomy. What a shame I didn't check in sooner - I needed a laugh. First, to the problem at hand. The Amazons suffered a similar problem with bow strings thwacking unsuspecting breasts at very inopportune times. They took the utilitarian approach and cut the left one off. Amazon is from the Greek roughly translated "breastless". Just a tried and true suggestion. Next, thank god I am not alone in this. The damn things are always in the way! Try sitting at a diner booth designed for 28AAs. Mine serve as serving platters. And to add insult to injury, my nipples are inverted - they're useless!!!! Pet names: Flopsy, Mopsy, and... My brother calls them the "Bad Boys" because they refuse to behave. Just the thought of running for a bus is frightening. Without a feat of engineering to control spring and list, I could lose a tooth or my balance. Last, two suggestions for the GGG Auxiliary: 1. There very own "grow-up" doll with crankable boobs. 2. A pair of falsies for whenever they need a "quick fix". 3. Their name on any two of the following mailing lists: 1. Junonia 2. Silhouettes 3. Just My Size 4. Lane Bryant
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: SINSULL Date: 03 May 00 - 07:05 PM Rewrite: Last, two suggestions for the GGG Auxiliary: 1. Their very own "grow-up" doll with crankable boobs. 2. A pair of falsies for whenever they need a "quick fix". 3. Their name on any two of the following mailing lists: 1. Junonia 2. Silhouettes 3. Just My Size 4. Lane Bryant
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 07:15 PM Oh Sinsull!!! Yer right!!! When we go for our mammograms here in our area, they give out these ADORABLE litle mini-boobs made of soft pink faux flesh. Yer sposed to practice self-exams on them but they are tiny, about an inch and a half. PERFECT pocket memento for members (MEMBERS!!) of the GGG Aux! BERT-- THROOPNIES is perfect as a placeholder for the line I was missing, till the right word comes back to me or is contributed. Can you or Joe Offer edit it into my post above? OH, AND BERT--- yer gonna read the whole thread on the air then, right?? ~S~ Spaw, just for you-- headlights, honkers, and hooters Amos, didja miss the invite I already posted? Honey, I thought we had gotten past all the religious jargon to where we could communicate! LOL! (Girls, shhh!!! Don't tell Hardi I told you this (tee hee), but every once in awhile I corral the horses IN THE DARK and get out a special little Maglite for a spotlight dance! Oh yeah! WOW pink up close!) Amos! That was private!! But OK, didn't I tell you priests are real wise? Joe Offer has a reputation to maintain, and doesn't want to handle this one with a ten-foot pole. Over to you, Bert??? |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Metchosin Date: 03 May 00 - 07:19 PM My grandmother was one of those women so afflicted, that she had to heave them upwards in order to tie her apron around her waist, thank God I only had two children not eight, in any event, when I was small, I used to pat them while sitting on her lap and say, "Gosh you have big Apples Grandma." |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: fleetwood Date: 03 May 00 - 07:24 PM I help organise Fleetwood Folk Club, Fleetwood Lancashire and unfortunately not many female performers attend the club so if any of you are in the neighbourhood and would like to display your talents we would be pleased to see you. A thread with 100 messages who'd have thought |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 07:33 PM CLICK HERE to move on to The Other Breast. It's feeling neglected. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: alison Date: 03 May 00 - 07:51 PM Hahaha.... purely on a medical note here.. there are ways to correct inverted nipples... trust me I'm a midwife and have seen some REALLY bad ones in my time...... if you need info ... drop me a message..... slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 08:04 PM Page up to see clickie to The Other Breast |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: SINSULL Date: 03 May 00 - 08:35 PM Thanks, Alison. Actually, some men find them a challenge. Think I'll keep 'em. Not for the faint of heart, though. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST, Guess who? Date: 03 May 00 - 08:46 PM Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Escamillo Date: 03-May-00 - 03:32 PM
"(oh, flamers of the Mudcat, do not interfere in this thread or I´ll kill you all)."
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Art Thieme Date: 03 May 00 - 09:12 PM The New York PENILE system ???????? Art |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: SINSULL Date: 03 May 00 - 09:30 PM NO ART. THESE ARE A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,Steve Latimer Date: 03 May 00 - 09:38 PM I think Steve Martin summed up how most guys feel (A poor choice of words?) in the movie L.A. Story. His line was "I could never be a woman, I'd just stay home and play with my tits." |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST Date: 03 May 00 - 09:41 PM Or Eddie Murphy's?? one "If I was a woman, I'd be the easiest lay in town" |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: kendall Date: 03 May 00 - 09:47 PM jugs, lung warts, ta tas |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST,Steve Latimer Date: 03 May 00 - 09:49 PM Nuts, Fun bags. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST, Threadie Date: 03 May 00 - 09:50 PM |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 03 May 00 - 09:57 PM This is taking forever to load, please post in Part Two, page up for clickie. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Escamillo Date: 03 May 00 - 11:05 PM Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST, Guess who? Date: 03-May-00 - 08:46 PM Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Escamillo Date: 03-May-00 - 03:32 PM "(oh, flamers of the Mudcat, do not interfere in this thread or I´ll kill you all)." That's the South American way, Armadillo, is it?
..... Well, it is, but.. ok, I´ll take my genuine japanese katana, shout loud, and kill you .. a little. Anyway, I don't see the usual complaints about non-musical subjects. I'm almost convinced that you like breasts too. Let's go to the other one. Hop!
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST, Threadie Date: 03 May 00 - 11:25 PM Armadillo. Your penchant for using violent and aggressive analogies when confronted with ideas or situations that are not to your liking is worrying and not in the least humorous. Especially when it is me that you would purport to kill Always keep in mind that the world is a very small place and there are people out there who you would do best not to even 'joke' about that kind of thing with. Are we understanding each other here?
Don't EVER presume to be condescending to meYou haven't earned that privilige. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Mrs.Duck Date: 05 May 00 - 06:38 PM OK SPAW! Whilst I seem to be sitting on what you would regard as my best ASSet regulars at the Jug would probably agree that it is not my most outstanding feature. Just for the record Geoff the Duck not only plays the banjo but also juggles-not so far at the same time although you should see him juggle custard!!!!I personally am very proud of my frontage especially in it's newly adorned Mudcat T-shirt. Mrs.Duck |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST Date: 14 Jan 07 - 05:25 PM Refresh for Bee |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Bee Date: 14 Jan 07 - 08:13 PM Thank you, Guest, I now feel less alone and am in love with the poster called Spider Tom. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: GUEST Date: 15 Jan 07 - 10:53 AM Don'tcha wonder what happened to ol' Spider Tom? He last posted 6.5 years ago. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Scrump Date: 15 Jan 07 - 11:00 AM I think keeping just one breast is cruel. They should always be kept in pairs. ... I'll get me coat. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: katlaughing Date: 15 Jan 07 - 11:41 AM Oh, Bee, you're not the only one, re' Spider Tom. There are several of us who miss him from the old HearMe sessions. I have a tape of him singing in there, somewhere. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: kendall Date: 16 Jan 07 - 10:21 AM Remember the Amazons? Legend says they used to have one breast removed because it interferred with their bow string. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amos Date: 09 Apr 07 - 07:36 PM In related news from The New Scientist: Bra of the Century "They've been an uplifting support for women for 100 years – whether your cups runneth over or you're stuffing tissue paper around those little lady bumps – it's happy birthday to the bra. However did women get cleavage before? Women have loved and loathed the intimate technology since it debuted in 1907. We have burnt them on the alter of feminism, used them as cunning catapults, for comic effect (mainly in Carry-On films), as torpedoes (Madonna) and just to perplex some hapless young suitor with fumbling fingers. But now, it seems we are demanding more from our bosom buddies, which naturally means that designers must understand the physics of bras. The unleashed booby can bounce 14 centimetres during exercise, I learned from this informative site. And, in this changing climate of, well, climate change, fashion is nothing if not environmentally aware – enter the new heated bra from Triumph, which cuts the need for energy-expensive heaters during winter, its makers claim. Lingering in your lingerie will never be chilly again – apart from the 98% of your body that isn't similarly protected… Is that a bra too far? Give me some suggestions of how this vital apparatus can be improved. And I'd love to hear of any novel uses you've found for your breast hammocks. Gaia Vince, deputy online editor" |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: skipy Date: 09 Apr 07 - 07:50 PM Amos, I am with you on this, I am going to type "breast" into google images & see what I can find out, nasty job but someone has to do it! Skipy |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Sorcha Date: 09 Apr 07 - 10:01 PM I have two. So do most humans. Dogs have lots. What's the diff? Do dogs need bras???? Can't you just see it? A heated, uplifting bra for nursing dog moms.... |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Amos Date: 10 Apr 07 - 11:02 AM Talk about being in your cups... A |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: dick greenhaus Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:27 PM And then there was the well-endowed young lady I once knew who played the accordion. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: EBarnacle Date: 03 Mar 10 - 08:52 PM I always knew that Martin's 28 D was a size; I just didn't realize it was the maximum cup size to play the instrument. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: wysiwyg Date: 04 Mar 10 - 12:32 AM Ah, the old days! Hi galpals! ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: kendall Date: 31 Dec 10 - 07:42 AM The most beautiful form in all of nature and it gets no respect here.sigh. |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Charley Noble Date: 31 Dec 10 - 09:46 PM Another great thread which I've missed until now. Thanks for refreshing! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: keeping a breast From: Gurney Date: 31 Dec 10 - 10:02 PM Just in case any of the ladies are still embarrassed by this: Lorna Campbell of the Ian Campbell Folk Group used to play her guitar slide style whilst standing, with the guitar slung low but with a standard nut-and-tailpiece mount. Guess it needed a strong guitar neck, but it worked for her. |
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